I'm a commuter now.....

GiantMike

.....so you can all f*ck off.

Started my new job this week and I have started to commute in. Depending on the route it's between 8 and 11 miles each way, and when I rode home today it was dark and windy and raining, so I'm officially hard as nails. Not like you soft lot only riding during the TdF season and only when the sun's out.

If anybody wants any tips on how to toughen up, just let me know.

BTW, my collar boner still hasn't gone away.

rolf_f

You have to go 'over there' before you count as a commuter. Otherwise you are just a road cyclist who has really crap routes.

arran77

You'll fit right in over there :P

crumbschief

Have you had your jabs?

pinno

Are you helmeted?

arran77

pinarello001 wrote:

Are you helmeted?

He's a helmet alright.

GiantMike

I'm a proper commuter; I don't speak to other commuters. They're scum. I'm a solo renegade forging my way through the bleak winter Wiltshire mornings and the dark wet Wiltshire nights. One man, one bike, one hell of a story, and I aint sharing it with no Communters. I jump the reds with my headphones pumping, sometimes with and sometimes without a helmet. I've got lights so bright they'd burn your retinas off and if I drag race a car I know it aint me eating humble pie at the end of it. I'm such a great commuter I ride primary, secondary AND tertiary, flash the Gore-Tex and Altura and can trackstand for 14 minutes. Chuck Norris has a picture of me on his wall. In skimpy lycra.

Yeah, my 8 miles is a test of speed, endurance and nerve, up hill, down dale, across streams and rivers, thrusting my winter bike into the future. And I've still got a collar boner.

pinno

GiantMike wrote:

I'm a proper commuter; I don't speak to other commuters. They're scum. I'm a solo renegade forging my way through the bleak winter Wiltshire mornings and the dark wet Wiltshire nights. One man, one bike, one hell of a story, and I aint sharing it with no Communters. I jump the reds with my headphones pumping, sometimes with and sometimes without a helmet. I've got lights so bright they'd burn your retinas off and if I drag race a car I know it aint me eating humble pie at the end of it. I'm such a great commuter I ride primary, secondary AND tertiary, flash the Gore-Tex and Altura and can trackstand for 14 minutes. Chuck Norris has a picture of me on his wall. In skimpy lycra.

Yeah, my 8 miles is a test of speed, endurance and nerve, up hill, down dale, across streams and rivers, thrusting my winter bike into the future. And I've still got a collar boner.

I like it - communter with proper attitude.Or perhaps this is the beginning of the paranoid, angry commuter "I take my life into my own hands everyday" psychosis that they all suffer from?

About the collar boner, I told you to shut it in the door a few times. If that doesn't work, use a vice (preferably a No7).

You don't commute into that b4stard windswept sh1t hole Swindlem do you?
Or are you a posh Bath boy with your 'I say, Regency facades' and iron railings, golly gosh?

veronese68

GiantMike wrote:

I'm a proper commuter; I don't speak to other commuters. They're scum. I'm a solo renegade forging my way through the bleak winter Wiltshire mornings and the dark wet Wiltshire nights. One man, one bike, one hell of a story, and I aint sharing it with no Communters. I jump the reds with my headphones pumping, sometimes with and sometimes without a helmet. I've got lights so bright they'd burn your retinas off and if I drag race a car I know it aint me eating humble pie at the end of it. I'm such a great commuter I ride primary, secondary AND tertiary, flash the Gore-Tex and Altura and can trackstand for 14 minutes. Chuck Norris has a picture of me on his wall. In skimpy lycra.

Yeah, my 8 miles is a test of speed, endurance and nerve, up hill, down dale, across streams and rivers, thrusting my winter bike into the future. And I've still got a collar boner.

Why would your headphones wear a helmet? Will you post a video of your commute?

goonz

Do you have a flouro vest?

When we getting a youtube vid of you yelling cnut at every driver that passes by you, exclaiming they are too close even with a foot gap.

capt_slog

Veronese68 wrote:

GiantMike wrote:

I'm a proper commuter; I don't speak to other commuters. They're scum. I'm a solo renegade forging my way through the bleak winter Wiltshire mornings and the dark wet Wiltshire nights. One man, one bike, one hell of a story, and I aint sharing it with no Communters. I jump the reds with my headphones pumping, sometimes with and sometimes without a helmet. I've got lights so bright they'd burn your retinas off and if I drag race a car I know it aint me eating humble pie at the end of it. I'm such a great commuter I ride primary, secondary AND tertiary, flash the Gore-Tex and Altura and can trackstand for 14 minutes. Chuck Norris has a picture of me on his wall. In skimpy lycra.

Yeah, my 8 miles is a test of speed, endurance and nerve, up hill, down dale, across streams and rivers, thrusting my winter bike into the future. And I've still got a collar boner.

Why would your headphones wear a helmet? Will you post a video of your commute?

Just about to mention this. He didn't say anything about a camera, so he can't be a commuter yet.

MartinGT

GiantMike wrote:

I'm a proper commuter; I don't speak to other commuters. They're scum. I'm a solo renegade forging my way through the bleak winter Wiltshire mornings and the dark wet Wiltshire nights. One man, one bike, one hell of a story, and I aint sharing it with no Communters. I jump the reds with my headphones pumping, sometimes with and sometimes without a helmet. I've got lights so bright they'd burn your retinas off and if I drag race a car I know it aint me eating humble pie at the end of it. I'm such a great commuter I ride primary, secondary AND tertiary, flash the Gore-Tex and Altura and can trackstand for 14 minutes. Chuck Norris has a picture of me on his wall. In skimpy lycra.

Yeah, my 8 miles is a test of speed, endurance and nerve, up hill, down dale, across streams and rivers, thrusting my winter bike into the future. And I've still got a collar boner.

Gold, just pure gold.

AlexMac1973

I misread the thread title, I thought GM had decided to become a computer.

MattC59

In that case, you are also responsible for Communter gate. And get a f*cking camera, otherwise you're just a pretender !

Pross

Surely only doing 11 miles doesn't count as any form of cycling, not even commuting? 18 miles is the bare minimum required to count.

Pituophis

GiantMike wrote:

I'm a proper commuter; I don't speak to other commuters. They're scum. I'm a solo renegade forging my way through the bleak winter Wiltshire mornings and the dark wet Wiltshire nights. One man, one bike, one hell of a story, and I aint sharing it with no Communters. I jump the reds with my headphones pumping, sometimes with and sometimes without a helmet. I've got lights so bright they'd burn your retinas off and if I drag race a car I know it aint me eating humble pie at the end of it. I'm such a great commuter I ride primary, secondary AND tertiary, flash the Gore-Tex and Altura and can trackstand for 14 minutes. Chuck Norris has a picture of me on his wall. In skimpy lycra.

Yeah, my 8 miles is a test of speed, endurance and nerve, up hill, down dale, across streams and rivers, thrusting my winter bike into the future. And I've still got a collar boner.

I think I want to communt too now!
I'll have to be with you in spirit only though until I can get a job a bit further from home.

mudsucker

Are you one of these guys : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hgCqz3l33kU :-)

Probably best now watched at work!

florerider

Well, try taking the pills and you could get back to racing

GiantMike

Day 2 and I decided to take to long ride both ways, 9.7 miles each way. When you commute as much as I do, you get used to occasional issues with other road users.....

...so, I'm rocking a big gear and smashing it on the A36 getting some decent training in when some idiot in a Mondeo decides he aint gonna wait behind me and pulls out to overtake. F*ck that, I thought, and swerved out to block his path. Inconsiderate git couldn't wait another couple of miles until the Dual Carriageway bit even though I was on fire, averaging 14.5mph with a cheeky tailwind, legs pumping away, heart racing and I'm in the zone. So, to stop him trying anything else stupid, probably egged on by the massive queue behind him, I'm now riding the middle of my lane. He starts honking and flashing, what a knob!

Anyway, eventually he got past me and stopped up ahead and flagged me down. It's on, there's a fight coming and I'm a fit cyclist. 'Would you mind pulling over in the future please' he said, 'and learn to share the road'. 'F*ck you' I said. And then everything went black and I don't remember anything until the ambulance arrived. One of the 40 or so witnesses said that he punched me, but nobody was prepared to give a statement to the Police because they all thought I was riding like a tw@t. Just goes to show how drivers all stick together against us riders when the 5-0 turn up. Anyway, the Rozzers aint pressing charges against me, but I'll need to keep a low profile for a while because I'm a marked man now.

The ride home was much less eventful as I had to back off because I can't see out of my left eye as it's so swollen. Still managed to average 12.4mph though. Noticed more filth around too, so word's got about that I'm out there on the roads and they just don't like it. And I've still got a collar boner.

Kendal Black Drop

You should have got in first with your D-lock.

You have got a D-lock now you're a communter, haven't you?

pinno

GiantMike wrote:

Day 2 and...
...And I've still got a collar boner.

Have you tried jamming it in your chainset and turning the pedal? (Preferably an old worn out one with gnarly teeth).

HellsCyclist

GiantMike wrote:

.....so you can all f*ck off.

Started my new job this week and I have started to commute in. Depending on the route it's between 8 and 11 miles each way, and when I rode home today it was dark and windy and raining, so I'm officially hard as nails. Not like you soft lot only riding during the TdF season and only when the sun's out.

If anybody wants any tips on how to toughen up, just let me know.

BTW, my collar boner still hasn't gone away.

So is Grahem Norton in the changin rooms.

GiantMike

213 weather warnings for wind and rain, loads of floods in Wiltshire and I still commuted to and from work today despite the 35mph headwind home. Didn't see any of you lot out there so I guess you all took the easy option and drove in or called in sick. Lightweights!

Stevo_666

Nah, I was out there as well today. Bike racks were a bit empty at work - bunch of pansies.