Forum home Road cycling forum The bottom bracket

All you wanted to know about MTBers but was afraid to ask...

pinnopinno Posts: 45,313
edited December 2013 in The bottom bracket
Why aren't all mountain bikes painted flourescent yellow/orange so that when you go 'off track' they can find you in the ditch/bogland/pub?

Do you always go out in groups of 2 or more because of the above or because you like 'going into the woods together'?

What tf is a 29er?
seanoconn - gruagach craic!
«1

Posts

  • arran77arran77 Posts: 9,260
    Some mountain bikes are 'gay' colours too :wink:

    We go out in groups so when we see any roadies when we're heading to the trails we can beat the shite out of you and leave you in a ditch :P

    As for wheel sizes, keep up Pina, 29ers are so last year, 650B is the new 29er, all just a fad though in my opinion, everyone will be back to 26" wheels soon :wink:
    "Arran, you are like the Tony Benn of smut. You have never diluted your depravity and always stand by your beliefs. You have my respect sir and your wife my pity" :lol:

    seanoconn
  • pinnopinno Posts: 45,313
    fishing.gif
    seanoconn - gruagach craic!
  • arran77arran77 Posts: 9,260
    I did fall for it a bit too easily didn't I :P
    "Arran, you are like the Tony Benn of smut. You have never diluted your depravity and always stand by your beliefs. You have my respect sir and your wife my pity" :lol:

    seanoconn
  • kajjalkajjal Posts: 3,380
    I will put this as politely as possible doing both MTB and Road biking :)

    Most MTBers don't have an obsession with lycra and weight loss so don't tend to be very cross all the time due to not eating enough and wearing the tightest Lycra they can. Also they don't ride in "midlife crisis" packs of 10 blocking the trails off as they have the "right" to be on the trail and the horses, land rovers, sheep, bulls , cows, shotgun wielding farmers can just wait. Finally MTBer's don't have Strava Man rage attacks where everything (Parked Cars, children / elderly, red traffic lights etc.) needs to get out of the way as they are chasing a segment time.
  • Stevo_666Stevo_666 Posts: 49,330
    What tf is a 29er?
    It's a road bike you numpty :wink:
    "I spent most of my money on birds, booze and fast cars: the rest of it I just squandered." [George Best]
  • floreriderflorerider Posts: 1,112
    Is there anything I wanted to know?
  • Stevo_666Stevo_666 Posts: 49,330
    florerider wrote:
    Is there anything I wanted to know?
    MTB'er hold lots of dark secrets, like how to have fun on a bike :P
    "I spent most of my money on birds, booze and fast cars: the rest of it I just squandered." [George Best]
  • rick_chaseyrick_chasey Posts: 60,966 Lives Here
    Why do they all use '90s 'dude' vocal when talking mtb??
  • pinnopinno Posts: 45,313
    Kajjal wrote:
    I will put this as politely as possible doing both MTB and Road biking :)

    Most MTBers don't have an obsession with lycra

    Some do, I don't.

    and weight loss

    Nope, too skinny me. I eat what i like and I eat like a horse.

    ...so don't tend to be very cross all the time due to not eating enough and wearing the tightest Lycra they can

    Not me.

    Also they don't ride in "midlife crisis" packs of 10 blocking the trails off

    I avoid those feckers like the plague, they're always telling you what to do even though you have been cycling for 25+ years.
    The midlife crisis is a conspiracy between unemployed psychologists and sports car manufacturers. It's bollox, just an excuse to go a bit silly and shag a 16 year old.


    Finally MTBer's don't have Strava Man rage attacks where everything blah blah...

    What's 'Strava'?

    fishing-emoticon.gif

    Why do MTBers wear silly half cut flappity action pants or Khaki shorts?
    seanoconn - gruagach craic!
  • Stevo_666Stevo_666 Posts: 49,330
    Aww, no more bites for Pinno. You should have posted it in the Crudcatcher :P
    "I spent most of my money on birds, booze and fast cars: the rest of it I just squandered." [George Best]
  • pinnopinno Posts: 45,313
    Stevo 666 wrote:
    Aww, no more bites for Pinno. You should have posted it in the Crudcatcher :P

    i'll change the bait...
    seanoconn - gruagach craic!
  • kajjalkajjal Posts: 3,380
    Kajjal wrote:
    I will put this as politely as possible doing both MTB and Road biking :)

    Most MTBers don't have an obsession with lycra

    Some do, I don't.

    and weight loss

    Nope, too skinny me. I eat what i like and I eat like a horse.

    ...so don't tend to be very cross all the time due to not eating enough and wearing the tightest Lycra they can

    Not me.

    Also they don't ride in "midlife crisis" packs of 10 blocking the trails off

    I avoid those feckers like the plague, they're always telling you what to do even though you have been cycling for 25+ years.
    The midlife crisis is a conspiracy between unemployed psychologists and sports car manufacturers. It's bollox, just an excuse to go a bit silly and shag a 16 year old.


    Finally MTBer's don't have Strava Man rage attacks where everything blah blah...

    What's 'Strava'?

    fishing-emoticon.gif

    Why do MTBers wear silly half cut flappity action pants or Khaki shorts?

    You'll have to catch one and ask them :)
  • MattC59MattC59 Posts: 5,408
    Kajjal wrote:
    Kajjal wrote:
    I will put this as politely as possible doing both MTB and Road biking :)

    Most MTBers don't have an obsession with lycra

    Some do, I don't.

    and weight loss

    Nope, too skinny me. I eat what i like and I eat like a horse.

    ...so don't tend to be very cross all the time due to not eating enough and wearing the tightest Lycra they can

    Not me.

    Also they don't ride in "midlife crisis" packs of 10 blocking the trails off

    I avoid those feckers like the plague, they're always telling you what to do even though you have been cycling for 25+ years.
    The midlife crisis is a conspiracy between unemployed psychologists and sports car manufacturers. It's bollox, just an excuse to go a bit silly and shag a 16 year old.


    Finally MTBer's don't have Strava Man rage attacks where everything blah blah...

    What's 'Strava'?

    fishing-emoticon.gif

    Why do MTBers wear silly half cut flappity action pants or Khaki shorts?

    You'll have to catch one and ask them :)

    Piece of p!ss, most mountain bikers I see these days can't ride a bike properly, they rely on suspension to get down the trail.
    Science adjusts it’s beliefs based on what’s observed.
    Faith is the denial of observation so that Belief can be preserved
  • Stevo_666Stevo_666 Posts: 49,330
    MattC59 wrote:
    Piece of p!ss, most mountain bikers I see these days can't ride a bike properly, they rely on suspension to get down the trail.
    So Pinno's idea of 'changing the bait' is slipping you a fiver and getting you to try a wind up? :wink: Apart from me and Arran there's not much MTB fishing potential around here...
    "I spent most of my money on birds, booze and fast cars: the rest of it I just squandered." [George Best]
  • arran77arran77 Posts: 9,260
    Stevo 666 wrote:
    MattC59 wrote:
    Piece of p!ss, most mountain bikers I see these days can't ride a bike properly, they rely on suspension to get down the trail.
    So Pinno's idea of 'changing the bait' is slipping you a fiver and getting you to try a wind up? :wink: Apart from me and Arran there's not much MTB fishing potential around here...

    Me, you and matthewh, that's about it, still more than enough to overthrow Pina, boy wonder womble and mattc59, the MTB phobic Lycra clad ladies :P
    "Arran, you are like the Tony Benn of smut. You have never diluted your depravity and always stand by your beliefs. You have my respect sir and your wife my pity" :lol:

    seanoconn
  • tlw1tlw1 Posts: 20,610
    arran77 wrote:
    Stevo 666 wrote:
    MattC59 wrote:
    Piece of p!ss, most mountain bikers I see these days can't ride a bike properly, they rely on suspension to get down the trail.
    So Pinno's idea of 'changing the bait' is slipping you a fiver and getting you to try a wind up? :wink: Apart from me and Arran there's not much MTB fishing potential around here...

    Me, you and matthewh, that's about it, still more than enough to overthrow Pina, boy wonder womble and mattc59, the MTB phobic Lycra clad ladies :P

    thanks for the loyalty arran77 - Stevo is off the Christmas card list :lol:
  • Stevo_666Stevo_666 Posts: 49,330
    BB rebellion :lol: The Lycra wearing sausage jockeys have had their way in here for far too long....
    "I spent most of my money on birds, booze and fast cars: the rest of it I just squandered." [George Best]
  • pinnopinno Posts: 45,313
    Stevo 666 wrote:
    BB rebellion :lol: The Lycra wearing sausage jockeys have had their way in here for far too long....

    lol.

    BB overthrown by crudders?

    rolling-on-the-floor-laughing-smiley-emoticon.gif
    seanoconn - gruagach craic!
  • arran77arran77 Posts: 9,260
    Stevo 666 wrote:
    BB rebellion :lol: The Lycra wearing sausage jockeys have had their way in here for far too long....

    lol.

    BB overthrown by crudders?

    rolling-on-the-floor-laughing-smiley-emoticon.gif

    :lol:

    Bring on the revolution!!

    Even on the off chance they might be able to ride faster than us we can just nip down the nearest bit of single track and they'll be fecked :wink:
    "Arran, you are like the Tony Benn of smut. You have never diluted your depravity and always stand by your beliefs. You have my respect sir and your wife my pity" :lol:

    seanoconn
  • seanoconnseanoconn Posts: 9,141
    BB overthrown by crudders! :lol: Most crudders couldn't write dialog for a porno flick.

    "Dude, lets invade Bottom Bracket."
    "Cool dude, lets do it!"
    "Dude, where is Bottom Bracket?"
    "Dude, I thought you knew?"
    "Dude?"
    "Cowabunga!"


    I think we're safe.
    Pinno, מלך אידיוט וחרא מכונאי
  • arran77arran77 Posts: 9,260
    Come on, admit it young womble, you secretly want to be a proper cyclist and ride MTB's, don't worry about what your Lycra clad mate Pina will say, he's too old to catch up with us even if he is on the Brazilan Ladies Beach Volley Ball Team or whatever it is he calls his bike, Stevo and me will look after you :P
    "Arran, you are like the Tony Benn of smut. You have never diluted your depravity and always stand by your beliefs. You have my respect sir and your wife my pity" :lol:

    seanoconn
  • Stevo_666Stevo_666 Posts: 49,330
    arran77 wrote:
    Come on, admit it young womble, you secretly want to be a proper cyclist and ride MTB's, don't worry about what your Lycra clad mate Pina will say, he's too old to catch up with us even if he is on the Brazilan Ladies Beach Volley Ball Team or whatever it is he calls his bike, Stevo and me will look after you :P
    On top of that, you'll be able to stop wearing all that dodgy lycra stuff that makes you look like a cottaging womble :wink:

    Join the Dark Side....
    "I spent most of my money on birds, booze and fast cars: the rest of it I just squandered." [George Best]
  • pinnopinno Posts: 45,313
    The dark side?! You mean the dark underside of your 4rses from all that crud that flicks up. Never mind the dog censored splatting over your faces when you accidentally ride over the stuff because the 'trails' you share are also used by dog walkers.
    Filthy bunch of flappity short wearing stinking overweight loafers.

    ...and another thing: We don't have 'granny' gears and bikes with gay names like 'La Pierre'. 24x36? That gearing is for one legged overweight diabetic midgets with arthiritus and heamorroids.
    seanoconn - gruagach craic!
  • Stevo_666Stevo_666 Posts: 49,330
    The dark side?! You mean the dark underside of your 4rses from all that crud that flicks up. Never mind the dog censored splatting over your faces when you accidentally ride over the stuff because the 'trails' you share are also used by dog walkers.
    Filthy bunch of flappity short wearing stinking overweight loafers.

    ...and another thing: We don't have 'granny' gears and bikes with gay names like 'La Pierre'. 24x36? That gearing is for one legged overweight diabetic midgets with arthiritus and heamorroids.
    The Pinno doth protest too much - this is the sound of a man in denial about his biking preferences :wink: Next time you meet Uncle Bulgaria in the mens bogs on Wimbledon Common you'll have something to talk about.
    "I spent most of my money on birds, booze and fast cars: the rest of it I just squandered." [George Best]
  • tlw1tlw1 Posts: 20,610
    Stevo 666 wrote:
    The dark side?! You mean the dark underside of your 4rses from all that crud that flicks up. Never mind the dog censored splatting over your faces when you accidentally ride over the stuff because the 'trails' you share are also used by dog walkers.
    Filthy bunch of flappity short wearing stinking overweight loafers.

    ...and another thing: We don't have 'granny' gears and bikes with gay names like 'La Pierre'. 24x36? That gearing is for one legged overweight diabetic midgets with arthiritus and heamorroids.
    The Pinno doth protest too much - this is the sound of a man in denial about his biking preferences :wink: Next time you meet Uncle Bulgaria in the mens bogs on Wimbledon Common you'll have something to talk about.

    Gears are for gays :D
  • arran77arran77 Posts: 9,260
    Stevo 666 wrote:
    The dark side?! You mean the dark underside of your 4rses from all that crud that flicks up. Never mind the dog censored splatting over your faces when you accidentally ride over the stuff because the 'trails' you share are also used by dog walkers.
    Filthy bunch of flappity short wearing stinking overweight loafers.

    ...and another thing: We don't have 'granny' gears and bikes with gay names like 'La Pierre'. 24x36? That gearing is for one legged overweight diabetic midgets with arthiritus and heamorroids.
    The Pinno doth protest too much - this is the sound of a man in denial about his biking preferences :wink: Next time you meet Uncle Bulgaria in the mens bogs on Wimbledon Common you'll have something to talk about.

    He does, but his protestations are all in vein, I found this picture of him on his proper bike, he's nearly there, just needs to work on loosing the Lycra shorts.

    image.jpg
    "Arran, you are like the Tony Benn of smut. You have never diluted your depravity and always stand by your beliefs. You have my respect sir and your wife my pity" :lol:

    seanoconn
  • Stevo_666Stevo_666 Posts: 49,330
    arran77 wrote:
    He does, but his protestations are all in vein, I found this picture of him on his proper bike, he's nearly there, just needs to work on loosing the Lycra shorts.

    image.jpg
    :) Is that pic pre or post op?
    "I spent most of my money on birds, booze and fast cars: the rest of it I just squandered." [George Best]
  • Stevo_666Stevo_666 Posts: 49,330
    matthew h wrote:
    Stevo 666 wrote:
    The dark side?! You mean the dark underside of your 4rses from all that crud that flicks up. Never mind the dog censored splatting over your faces when you accidentally ride over the stuff because the 'trails' you share are also used by dog walkers.
    Filthy bunch of flappity short wearing stinking overweight loafers.

    ...and another thing: We don't have 'granny' gears and bikes with gay names like 'La Pierre'. 24x36? That gearing is for one legged overweight diabetic midgets with arthiritus and heamorroids.
    The Pinno doth protest too much - this is the sound of a man in denial about his biking preferences :wink: Next time you meet Uncle Bulgaria in the mens bogs on Wimbledon Common you'll have something to talk about.

    Gears are for gays :D
    Your latest bike has one gear - are you trying to tell us something? :wink:
    "I spent most of my money on birds, booze and fast cars: the rest of it I just squandered." [George Best]
  • tlw1tlw1 Posts: 20,610
    Stevo 666 wrote:
    matthew h wrote:
    Stevo 666 wrote:
    The dark side?! You mean the dark underside of your 4rses from all that crud that flicks up. Never mind the dog censored splatting over your faces when you accidentally ride over the stuff because the 'trails' you share are also used by dog walkers.
    Filthy bunch of flappity short wearing stinking overweight loafers.

    ...and another thing: We don't have 'granny' gears and bikes with gay names like 'La Pierre'. 24x36? That gearing is for one legged overweight diabetic midgets with arthiritus and heamorroids.
    The Pinno doth protest too much - this is the sound of a man in denial about his biking preferences :wink: Next time you meet Uncle Bulgaria in the mens bogs on Wimbledon Common you'll have something to talk about.

    Gears are for gays :D
    Your latest bike has one gear - are you trying to tell us something? :wink:

    Yes.... Sweetie :wink:
  • Stevo_666Stevo_666 Posts: 49,330
    So you're a roadie then :)
    "I spent most of my money on birds, booze and fast cars: the rest of it I just squandered." [George Best]
Sign In or Register to comment.