The 'New' Limerick Thread

arran77

There was a young man called Sean
Who had an enormous amount of animal porn
When the police locked him away
He discovered he was gay
And took it up the arse all day

seanoconn

There was an old man with a beard,
A funny old man with a beard
He had a big beard
A great big old beard
That amusing old man with a beard.

pinno

There was a young man called Seanie
Who went to Loch Ness to see Nessie
But he slipped in the mud
With a terrible thud
And Nessie saw Seanie all messy.

Dear Old Spike M:

There was a young man from Berlin
Who thought the Nazi's would win
But now he's cleaning the Jewels
On the shoes of the jews
And they've got it in for him.

For Bompington and the ilk:

There was a man from Dundee
Who tried to pee over a tree
The tree was too high
He peed in his eye
And now the poor chap can't see.

crumbschief

There was a girl called Bunny
Who thought she was ever so funny
She ran off with the hungry clown
Who'd just come to town
But ended up in a curry

crumbschief

I met a man called Hannibal
Who some say was a bit of an animal
Often generous with a treat
He'd love to take you out to eat
He found my taste most palatable

Proff

There was a young woman from Bude
Who went for a swim in the lake
A man with a punt
Shoved his pole up her nose
And said " Hey you can't swim here, it's private"

rc856

There was an old guy called Horner
We all thought his career was a gorner
But he stepped up to the plate
And our words we did ate
He only went and won la Vuelta!

But such a win turned out not great
There are those that just love to hate
Chris and his doctor might have a silent pact
For 2014, he still has no con-tract!

rc856

There was an American called Lance,
Who thought he would take a chance,
EPO and transfusions,
It all got confusing,
But he has won zero Tours de France!