Best type of bottom burp

finchy

I'm a bit torn on this one. A silent but deadly usually gets located, often using the legal principle of "he who smelt it dealt it", but if you do a noisy one, it doesn't matter if it's odourless, people still think you're rude.

I need the forum's best brains to work on this minefield. So Sean, Pinarello, Mikey... do you know anyone with brains?

daviesee

A bark is only rude for a brief second.
A bomb can offend for minutes.

Plus, a bark can be funny amongst immature men. And thats us.

seanoconn

johnfinch wrote:

I'm a bit torn on this one. A silent but deadly usually gets located, often using the legal principle of "he who smelt it dealt it", but if you do a noisy one, it doesn't matter if it's odourless, people still think you're rude.

I need the forum's best brains to work on this minefield. So Sean, Pinarello, Mikey... do you know anyone with brains?

Most smilies in one post and now a contender for most crass BB topic. You're on fire John!

This isn't my field of expertise but I'm sure arran will be along shortly to discuss the merits of each bottom burp.

arran77

seanoconn wrote:

johnfinch wrote:

I'm a bit torn on this one. A silent but deadly usually gets located, often using the legal principle of "he who smelt it dealt it", but if you do a noisy one, it doesn't matter if it's odourless, people still think you're rude.

I need the forum's best brains to work on this minefield. So Sean, Pinarello, Mikey... do you know anyone with brains?

Most smilies in one post and now a contender for most crass BB topic. You're on fire John!

This isn't my field of expertise but I'm sure arran will be along shortly to discuss the merits of each bottom burp.

Indeed

When it comes to trumping there is no doubt that what you're after is a stench so vile that it makes all around you gag

Noisy ones can have a short term comedic affect but for something with more longevity you really need odor.

Blaming others is not the done thing in my opinion, be proud of your achievements and savor the spoils

ballysmate

seanoconn wrote:

johnfinch wrote:

I'm a bit torn on this one. A silent but deadly usually gets located, often using the legal principle of "he who smelt it dealt it", but if you do a noisy one, it doesn't matter if it's odourless, people still think you're rude.

I need the forum's best brains to work on this minefield. So Sean, Pinarello, Mikey... do you know anyone with brains?

Most smilies in one post and now a contender for most crass BB topic. You're on fire John!

This isn't my field of expertise but I'm sure arran will be along shortly to discuss the merits of each bottom burp.

IIRC Sean's expertise lies in the 'Victory Honk'

veronese68

Generally I find the ones without lumps in are preferable.

seanoconn

Ballysmate wrote:

seanoconn wrote:

johnfinch wrote:

I'm a bit torn on this one. A silent but deadly usually gets located, often using the legal principle of "he who smelt it dealt it", but if you do a noisy one, it doesn't matter if it's odourless, people still think you're rude.

I need the forum's best brains to work on this minefield. So Sean, Pinarello, Mikey... do you know anyone with brains?

Most smilies in one post and now a contender for most crass BB topic. You're on fire John!

This isn't my field of expertise but I'm sure arran will be along shortly to discuss the merits of each bottom burp.

IIRC Sean's expertise lies in the 'Victory Honk'

They get embarrassed but I take it as a compliment

Doctor House

I've got virtually no sense of smell so when I drop a silent bomb I can't tell how deadly it is. I have to rely on the reaction of nearby people to gauge the quality of my emissions. Most of my work colleagues are dicks so when I see them recoil from the initial wave, blinking the tears from their eyes with a look of dismay on their face, I experience a tremendous feeling of achievement.

goonz

Stevo_666

I like dropping evil ones in lifts, then you have a captive audience.

pinno

It is immaterial. True class is when you drop one and the person/people next to you fall over. To maximise the 'impact', dropping one is always preferable in small spaces like a lift. As Sean is an underground dwelling Womble, this problem has led to his eviction on more than one occasion.

Old Scottish saying:

"Let yer wind blow free, where aer* ye be"

*aer - ever.

WindyG

I don't think there ever is a best one, noisy ones around the kids, silent stickers for around the wife especially in the car. Shop bombing is always great, takes away the boredom.

dave02

when you have IBS you just hope it is only wind ! :oops: lots of times i have got it wrong, twice in the saddle its a long way home on a day like that.

the playing mantis

:shock:

MattC59

Hot and noisy ! Beef and vegetable pie for lunch, it's particularly acrid in the living room tonight, the paint fumes are barely masking it !

dave02

try gravy on your pie and give the emul a miss

snoopsmydogg

Noisy and long winded, if you can continue while chuckling it only adds to the comedic effect.

CHRISNOIR

Volume. Every time volume. Especially if you can get it to change tone midway through. I like a rising pitch; it makes the trump sound inquisitive.

Mikey23

Reminds me of training on the track at tavi... Whenever we set off for a rep, one of the guys would do a ripper. Nobody would dare comment or snigger. Hilarious