Best type of bottom burp
finchy
Posts: 6,686
I'm a bit torn on this one. A silent but deadly usually gets located, often using the legal principle of "he who smelt it dealt it", but if you do a noisy one, it doesn't matter if it's odourless, people still think you're rude.
I need the forum's best brains to work on this minefield. So Sean, Pinarello, Mikey... do you know anyone with brains?
I need the forum's best brains to work on this minefield. So Sean, Pinarello, Mikey... do you know anyone with brains?
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A bark is only rude for a brief second.
A bomb can offend for minutes.
Plus, a bark can be funny amongst immature men. And thats us.None of the above should be taken seriously, and certainly not personally.0 -
Most smilies in one post and now a contender for most crass BB topic. You're on fire John!johnfinch wrote:I'm a bit torn on this one. A silent but deadly usually gets located, often using the legal principle of "he who smelt it dealt it", but if you do a noisy one, it doesn't matter if it's odourless, people still think you're rude.
I need the forum's best brains to work on this minefield. So Sean, Pinarello, Mikey... do you know anyone with brains?
This isn't my field of expertise but I'm sure arran will be along shortly to discuss the merits of each bottom burp. Pinno, מלך אידיוט וחרא מכונאי0 -
seanoconn wrote:
Most smilies in one post and now a contender for most crass BB topic. You're on fire John!johnfinch wrote:I'm a bit torn on this one. A silent but deadly usually gets located, often using the legal principle of "he who smelt it dealt it", but if you do a noisy one, it doesn't matter if it's odourless, people still think you're rude.
I need the forum's best brains to work on this minefield. So Sean, Pinarello, Mikey... do you know anyone with brains?
This isn't my field of expertise but I'm sure arran will be along shortly to discuss the merits of each bottom burp.
Indeed
When it comes to trumping there is no doubt that what you're after is a stench so vile that it makes all around you gag
Noisy ones can have a short term comedic affect but for something with more longevity you really need odor.
Blaming others is not the done thing in my opinion, be proud of your achievements and savor the spoils "Arran, you are like the Tony Benn of smut. You have never diluted your depravity and always stand by your beliefs. You have my respect sir and your wife my pity"
seanoconn0 -
seanoconn wrote:
Most smilies in one post and now a contender for most crass BB topic. You're on fire John!johnfinch wrote:I'm a bit torn on this one. A silent but deadly usually gets located, often using the legal principle of "he who smelt it dealt it", but if you do a noisy one, it doesn't matter if it's odourless, people still think you're rude.
I need the forum's best brains to work on this minefield. So Sean, Pinarello, Mikey... do you know anyone with brains?
This isn't my field of expertise but I'm sure arran will be along shortly to discuss the merits of each bottom burp.
IIRC Sean's expertise lies in the 'Victory Honk'0 -
Generally I find the ones without lumps in are preferable.0
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They get embarrassed but I take it as a complimentBallysmate wrote:seanoconn wrote:
Most smilies in one post and now a contender for most crass BB topic. You're on fire John!johnfinch wrote:I'm a bit torn on this one. A silent but deadly usually gets located, often using the legal principle of "he who smelt it dealt it", but if you do a noisy one, it doesn't matter if it's odourless, people still think you're rude.
I need the forum's best brains to work on this minefield. So Sean, Pinarello, Mikey... do you know anyone with brains?
This isn't my field of expertise but I'm sure arran will be along shortly to discuss the merits of each bottom burp.
IIRC Sean's expertise lies in the 'Victory Honk' Pinno, מלך אידיוט וחרא מכונאי0 -
I've got virtually no sense of smell so when I drop a silent bomb I can't tell how deadly it is. I have to rely on the reaction of nearby people to gauge the quality of my emissions. Most of my work colleagues are dicks so when I see them recoil from the initial wave, blinking the tears from their eyes with a look of dismay on their face, I experience a tremendous feeling of achievement.0
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Scott Speedster S20 Roadie for Speed
Specialized Hardrock MTB for Lumps
Specialized Langster SS for Ease
Cinelli Mash Bolt Fixed for Pain
n+1 is well and truly on track
Strava http://app.strava.com/athletes/16088750 -
I like dropping evil ones in lifts, then you have a captive audience."I spent most of my money on birds, booze and fast cars: the rest of it I just squandered." [George Best]0
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It is immaterial. True class is when you drop one and the person/people next to you fall over. To maximise the 'impact', dropping one is always preferable in small spaces like a lift. As Sean is an underground dwelling Womble, this problem has led to his eviction on more than one occasion.
Old Scottish saying:
"Let yer wind blow free, where aer* ye be"
*aer - ever.seanoconn - gruagach craic!0 -
I don't think there ever is a best one, noisy ones around the kids, silent stickers for around the wife especially in the car. Shop bombing is always great, takes away the boredom.0
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when you have IBS you just hope it is only wind ! :oops: lots of times i have got it wrong, twice in the saddle
its a long way home on a day like that. 0 -
:shock: 0
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Hot and noisy ! Beef and vegetable pie for lunch, it's particularly acrid in the living room tonight, the paint fumes are barely masking it !Science adjusts it’s beliefs based on what’s observed.
Faith is the denial of observation so that Belief can be preserved0 -
try gravy on your pie and give the emul a miss0
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Noisy and long winded, if you can continue while chuckling it only adds to the comedic effect.0
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Volume. Every time volume. Especially if you can get it to change tone midway through. I like a rising pitch; it makes the trump sound inquisitive.0
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Reminds me of training on the track at tavi... Whenever we set off for a rep, one of the guys would do a ripper. Nobody would dare comment or snigger. Hilarious0
