Internet Bullying

pinno

Is it an indictment of our society?

Is this as prolific in other European countries? I doubt it. You see, square pants hovering overprotective parents who are aversed to letting the kids out to play because of media driven paranoia then end up exposing their children to cyber atacks. Ironic innit?

On a sub note:
When I was a student in Cheltenham, I obtained digs in a dodgy area. In a short while, I got to know all the kids and their parents and often joined in impromptu games of footie, anything. The kids were street wise and had common sense.
When I moved to the posher end of town with quiet streets and big houses, the first thing I noticed was the lack of kids playing outside.
I thought it ironic that the kids in the dodgy areas were obtaining street sense and socail skills but they won't go to the good schools and achieve and the opposite was true for the posh end.

ballysmate

pinarello001 wrote:

Is it an indictment of our society?

Is this as prolific in other European countries? I doubt it. You see, square pants hovering overprotective parents who are aversed to letting the kids out to play because of media driven paranoia then end up exposing their children to cyber atacks. Ironic innit?

On a sub note:
When I was a student in Cheltenham, I obtained digs in a dodgy area. In a short while, I got to know all the kids and their parents and often joined in impromptu games of footie, anything. The kids were street wise and had common sense.
When I moved to the posher end of town with quiet streets and big houses, the first thing I noticed was the lack of kids playing outside.
I thought it ironic that the kids in the dodgy areas were obtaining street sense and socail skills but they won't go to the good schools and achieve and the opposite was true for the posh end.

That's because you looked like the Child Catcher from Chitty Chitty Bang Bang!

Mikey23

My 16 year old is street savvy but not at all interested academically. Because he isn't willing to play the game and study for his GCSEs and smokes and does a bit of cannabis he is labelled as a problem kid whereas I think he will make it in his own way and at his own time. Indictment of society? Perhaps in the sense that the system tries to push everyone into the same mould. Parents for buying into the lie that every other person out there is a pervert

Frank the tank

Cyber bullying. Surely you can only be cyber bullied if you go on social networking sites, internet forums etc. If you get a load of sh1t and feel bullied don't go on them. It's not like you have to go on these sites like you have to go to school/work and are forced to mix with your tormentors.

VTech

Mikey23 wrote:

My 16 year old is street savvy but not at all interested academically. Because he isn't willing to play the game and study for his GCSEs and smokes and does a bit of cannabis he is labelled as a problem kid whereas I think he will make it in his own way and at his own time. Indictment of society? Perhaps in the sense that the system tries to push everyone into the same mould. Parents for buying into the lie that every other person out there is a pervert

I did well at school but none of that has helped me in my work after school and college.
Those that want to succeed will and those that want to doss around will fail.

Internet bullying is not something that is done by people who generally go out to hurt people, its mainly done by your average guy/gal who do not think about the actions they take.
When I came here I was bullied (in the true sense) but to me it wasnt a worry but to others it is a serious cause of concern as people take bullying to heart and crazy things happen as a result.

The odd thing is, people who bully others often do it due to their own misgivings and get a sense of power from provocation or abuse of others. One thing leads to another and they surpass even their own realisation of whats right or wrong. I am not sure that on the whole people go out to hurt others but moreover get into something that snowballs.

Ironically, one of the people who was mocking me on one of my early post about cars was filling out online payday loan applications at the same time as having a pop at me. Another who was arguing about what I thought was indecent pictures of a young movie star was on the website adultwork.com so to me its horses for courses.

Ouija

pinarello001 wrote:

When I moved to the posher end of town with quiet streets and big houses, the first thing I noticed was the lack of kids playing outside.

That's because their houses are large enough for them to play 'INSIDE'. Oh! And gardens large enough to kick a football in (like a miniature Wembley Stadium). The roads the only place you can play in overpopulated back to back terraced houses.

tiredofwhiners

Too many parents who have absolutely No idea how to police their kids time on the internet, be it them being a bully or being bullied.

Its not that difficult given the age of the parents whose children are suffering, but just anotehr symptom of lazy parents who expect the state to look after their kids for them.

Computers in the living room, screen facing into the room and no internet after bedtime. Its not rocket science.

symo

I am disappointed; I thought this thread was going to be about bullying one of us lot. Oh well.

ozzzyosborn206

I don't believe anyone that goes on the internet, 'gets bullied' then harms themselves has no underlying problem. Surely any person in a normal state of mind would see these things and just block the bullies or avoid going on the website where they get bullied. If they do not have the sense to do this then their parents and or teachers at school need to be looked at. If you have no idea who someone is how can you take offence by something they say on the internet.

VTech

ozzzyosborn206 wrote:

I don't believe anyone that goes on the internet, 'gets bullied' then harms themselves has no underlying problem. Surely any person in a normal state of mind would see these things and just block the bullies or avoid going on the website where they get bullied. If they do not have the sense to do this then their parents and or teachers at school need to be looked at. If you have no idea who someone is how can you take offence by something they say on the internet.

Tell that to the mother and father of the kid who killed himself because he was being blackmailed as he had struck up what he thought was a romance on the internet and the w4nkers who set him up threatened to tell his parents unless he paid them.
He hung himself.

ozzzyosborn206

It isn't rocket science, don't send a picture to someone you don't know/never met that you don't want ending up in the public domain, also i fail to believe that alone would be enough to make you kill yourself. Assuming this is the case your referring to?

VTech

You seem incredibly un-sympathetic to certain peoples feelings.
Embarrassment to some people can be the most important thing in life. I dont know the kid in the news or the family but according to reports and the findings of the coroner, the blackmail of this young lad was the primary factor in his suicide.

Now I am sure the person who perpetrated the blackmail didnt want the lad to do what he did but thats the problem with internet bullying, you just dont know the effect your actions have on others.

Even putting that aside, I wouldnt do it as I dont think its a nice thing to do.

seanoconn

VTech wrote:

Mikey23 wrote:

My 16 year old is street savvy but not at all interested academically. Because he isn't willing to play the game and study for his GCSEs and smokes and does a bit of cannabis he is labelled as a problem kid whereas I think he will make it in his own way and at his own time. Indictment of society? Perhaps in the sense that the system tries to push everyone into the same mould. Parents for buying into the lie that every other person out there is a pervert

I did well at school but none of that has helped me in my work after school and college.
Those that want to succeed will and those that want to doss around will fail.

Internet bullying is not something that is done by people who generally go out to hurt people, its mainly done by your average guy/gal who do not think about the actions they take.
When I came here I was bullied (in the true sense) but to me it wasnt a worry but to others it is a serious cause of concern as people take bullying to heart and crazy things happen as a result.

The odd thing is, people who bully others often do it due to their own misgivings and get a sense of power from provocation or abuse of others. One thing leads to another and they surpass even their own realisation of whats right or wrong. I am not sure that on the whole people go out to hurt others but moreover get into something that snowballs.

Ironically, one of the people who was mocking me on one of my early post about cars was filling out online payday loan applications at the same time as having a pop at me. Another who was arguing about what I thought was indecent pictures of a young movie star was on the website adultwork.com so to me its horses for courses.

Oi cheeky! Have you been hacking our computers again!?

That time I was on gaydar.com, I swear i was trying to log into bikeradar! :oops:

ballysmate

I am not a bully in real life and would therefore not set out to bully anyone online. I know that it is easy to get carried away as a keyboard warrior, but I have never set out to bully or offend anyone. I would like to think that we are all adults here and can take criticism and mickey taking. As I said elsewhere, the only person who can make a fool out of me here is me, with whatever I post.
I fully understand that it is different for kids, and I feel sorry for any victims of bullying. That said, anyone who is being bullied online usually has the option of logging off the forum concerned. It is not like being bullied in the playground where the victim cannot easily avoid their tormentors.
The poor kid who hung himself was not a victim of bullying, but of blackmail. People should remember that whatever they post is there forever for the whole world to read. Only post what you feel comfortable sharing.
I must declare a caveat, I do not have a Facebook or Twitter account. Some of you may regard me as 'sad' or a Luddite, but I don't regard my life to be that exciting that the whole world would be interested. And as most people seem to use Facebook as an online diary, how many people would feel comfortable sharing their hand written musings with the rest of the world?

VTech

Ballysmate wrote:

I am not a bully in real life and would therefore not set out to bully anyone online. I know that it is easy to get carried away as a keyboard warrior, but I have never set out to bully or offend anyone. I would like to think that we are all adults here and can take criticism and mickey taking. As I said elsewhere, the only person who can make a fool out of me here is me, with whatever I post.
I fully understand that it is different for kids, and I feel sorry for any victims of bullying. That said, anyone who is being bullied online usually has the option of logging off the forum concerned. It is not like being bullied in the playground where the victim cannot easily avoid their tormentors.
The poor kid who hung himself was not a victim of bullying, but of blackmail. People should remember that whatever they post is there forever for the whole world to read. Only post what you feel comfortable sharing.
I must declare a caveat, I do not have a Facebook or Twitter account. Some of you may regard me as 'sad' or a Luddite, but I don't regard my life to be that exciting that the whole world would be interested. And as most people seem to use Facebook as an online diary, how many people would feel comfortable sharing their hand written musings with the rest of the world?

I think this is the real issue, you hear of people losing jobs as they have been caught out on twitter or Facebook, its at a point where people know too much. There is a fine line.
I like to think that on the whole there isnt so many bad people, its just at times people do bad things, mostly by mistake.

ozzzyosborn206

I'm not sure I am particularly unsympathetic, I am just saying that you must already need to be quite unstable to let it effect you so much, it is easy to just not log in to the site where you are getting bullied from do you not follow my thought process?

VTech

ozzzyosborn206 wrote:

I'm not sure I am particularly unsympathetic, I am just saying that you must already need to be quite unstable to let it effect you so much, it is easy to just not log in to the site where you are getting bullied from do you not follow my thought process?

Yes of course but it isnt always as easy as that.
These people can be nasty, I wouldnt profess my undying love to a girl I have never met over an internet chatroom and certainly wouldnt write love letters and sweet nothings to her, but then im not a kid of 12/13/14/15/16 who may do this kind of thing but would be massively embarrassed by finding out I had been duped.
To make matters worse, these people threaten to tell your parents as they have addresses and personal emails etc making the logging out of the chatroom theory pointless.

verylonglegs

ozzzyosborn206 wrote:

I'm not sure I am particularly unsympathetic, I am just saying that you must already need to be quite unstable to let it effect you so much, it is easy to just not log in to the site where you are getting bullied from do you not follow my thought process?

As an adult I follow your thought process 100% but stretching the imagination a little I can understand how the peer pressure to use such sites and conform must be so high for people not mature enough to realise it's a load of nonsense. That's why I'd be uncomfortable anyway to label those resorting to drastic measures as unstable, we've all read about occasions where adults fall foul of social media so it's unsurprising some kids fall into the same trap too. To condemn them for it seems quite harsh.

desweller

verylonglegs wrote:

ozzzyosborn206 wrote:

I'm not sure I am particularly unsympathetic, I am just saying that you must already need to be quite unstable to let it effect you so much, it is easy to just not log in to the site where you are getting bullied from do you not follow my thought process?

As an adult I follow your thought process 100% but stretching the imagination a little I can understand how the peer pressure to use such sites and conform must be so high for people not mature enough to realise it's a load of nonsense. That's why I'd be uncomfortable anyway to label those resorting to drastic measures as unstable, we've all read about occasions where adults fall foul of social media so it's unsurprising some kids fall into the same trap too. To condemn them for it seems quite harsh.

Quite. It takes a few years of adulthood for most people to have the self-confidence to elect not to do something most of their peers are doing. Most teens are desperate to win the approval of their mates.

crescent

ozzzyosborn206 wrote:

I'm not sure I am particularly unsympathetic, I am just saying that you must already need to be quite unstable to let it effect you so much, it is easy to just not log in to the site where you are getting bullied from do you not follow my thought process?

I don't think it necessarily needs the person to be unstable, but teenagers in general are vulnerable for numerous reasons. Peer pressure is a huge factor in adolescent life. It can take many forms but possibly the most 'important' one is just fitting in with everyone else. Even if you just perceive yourself as not fitting in it can make your life difficult if you take it to heart. Obviously, with maturity, most people eventually develop their own personality and look back and realise how unimportant it was, but it is difficult at the time when you've not developed enough self-confidence to be your own person.

As a parent of two teens - both completely different personalities - I have seen it from both sides. My daughter was in with the "in-crowd" at school, but thankfully not involved in any bullying as far as I was aware, but regularly pushed the envelope with regards to alcohol, smoking etc. My son is quite shy and doesn't socialise much which brings its own set of worries and concerns.
As for people getting into trouble at work etc for posting something offensive on Facebook or Twitter, then hell mend them as far as I'm concerned. It's too easy to hide behind a keyboard and throw insults at others when you don't have to face the individual in question so if they are now being called to account for their actions then it can only be a good thing. I don't get the whole social media thing - probably a generational thing, I know - but it appears to me that people are now publicising many things which would previously just have existed in their thoughts and should probably have stayed there, either because they're offensive or just utterly mundane. It is now becoming clear that once something has been written, online or otherwise, the repercussions can be far reaching, regardless of how trivial it may have seemed initially.

I sound like Jerry Springer :oops:

rolf_f

VTech wrote:

When I came here I was bullied (in the true sense) but to me it wasnt a worry but to others it is a serious cause of concern as people take bullying to heart and crazy things happen as a result.

Of course, it is ultimately all down to the perception of the person who is the 'victim' here - but I'd say you weren't bullied in any real sense. You came on here and spouted a lot of nonsense, asked for advice and then ignored it. It is a bit Wild West here and if you act like a plank then you can't expect much quarter to be given. It could be a bit nicer (in the mumsy sense) here but it is what it is. Anyone who has the practicality to lurk a bit before they post will see how it works before they get bitten.

It's different with young folk who don't yet have a realistic take on what really matters and what doesn't. When you are really young everything seems terribly important. It takes a while to realise that you only have one life and that no matter how bad something upsets you this year, next year you will have probably forgotten about it. I guess some folk on here have forgotten what teenage emotions are like.

Phil Fouracre

Rolf F - agree totally, especially about being bullied in the 'real sense' Come on! How can you be bullied, as an adult on a voluntarily accessed forum? To say that, I reckon you have never been badly bullied in any 'sense'

mamba80

My gf used to go on the cycling weekly forum, complained bout something or other and had PMs and personal attacks from forum members, i defended her and got banned, the "bullies" stayed and that is my experience of real bullies in schools, the victim gets seen as the problem and often ends up changing schools, its far easier that way and no school likes to be seen as having a bullying problem.

so some folk on here are doing exactly the same thing, the bullied must do something about it, leave the forum/media site, dont be sooo sensitive, and the classic "you must have underlying issues" so its ok to go an hang ya self....literally

the playing mantis

VTech wrote:

Mikey23 wrote:

Ironically, one of the people who was mocking me on one of my early post about cars was filling out online payday loan applications at the same time as having a pop at me. Another who was arguing about what I thought was indecent pictures of a young movie star was on the website adultwork.com so to me its horses for courses.

do elaborate! sounds interesting!

MattC59

Rolf F wrote:

VTech wrote:

When I came here I was bullied (in the true sense) but to me it wasnt a worry but to others it is a serious cause of concern as people take bullying to heart and crazy things happen as a result.

Of course, it is ultimately all down to the perception of the person who is the 'victim' here - but I'd say you weren't bullied in any real sense. You came on here and spouted a lot of nonsense, asked for advice and then ignored it. It is a bit Wild West here and if you act like a plank then you can't expect much quarter to be given.

Glad you pointed that out; I was going to, but thought I might get accused of bullying :roll:

sloppyschleckonds

VTech wrote:

Ironically, one of the people who was mocking me on one of my early post about cars was filling out online payday loan applications at the same time as having a pop at me. Another who was arguing about what I thought was indecent pictures of a young movie star was on the website adultwork.com so to me its horses for courses.

Were you actually spending your time monitoring what other users on an internet forum were viewing?

Isn't that like Stalking, or something much much worse?

VTech

Bullying is when people go out of their way to hard or offend others, that is exactly what some people on here do.
I took it in my stride but it is indeed bullying.
The fact that it didnt and wont effect my life is neither here nor their, some of the guys on this very forum went way over the top as I have seen the same guys do to other people, it becomes a way of life for them.
If by me talking about wanting to strengthen up on a trainer prior to going out on the road on a bike that is above my sense of skill is classes as spouting rubbish then fine, it was my opinion and has done me well so im happy with that.

rolf_f

VTech wrote:

If by me talking about wanting to strengthen up on a trainer prior to going out on the road on a bike that is above my sense of skill is classes as spouting rubbish then fine, it was my opinion and has done me well so im happy with that.

I'm afraid it is! Just as if I said that spending time learning to play the bagpipes has done me well in my desire to improve my cooking skills would also be rubbish.

But that's by the by. Fact is you stood up to the onslaught and you are still here and you aren't a teenager so I don't think the plaintive cry of 'I was bullied' really stands up! The mods here might be power crazed thread locking maniacs but I'd hope that if any real abuse of a forum member took place that they'd be prompt in taking appropriate actions.

VTech

There have been times when threads should have been locked and posters banned from the forum. Not anything to do with my threads but others I've read.
He problem we all have is that as we don't know each other it becomes hard to realise how upset we make people by our comments. To make it clear, I dont agree with all you have said but I've not seen you be what I would call abusive or a bully but I have seen others that I would say have been.

Again, this is only my opinion and others may well feel differently. (Not about you being a bully but my opinion of those I thought were)

rolf_f

Didn't think you were referring to me Vtech. I'd hope I have at worst been, errrr, forthright re some of your posts! I wouldn't like to think I'm giving more than I'd be prepared to take - I just regard it all as a bit of digital jousting. If someone (including me) ends up having a huff occasionally that's no big deal. I like the fact that on here people can be a bit more outrageous than in real life. It's a bit of a release.....

rick_chasey

If you feel you are being bullied report the relevant posts and contact a moderator.