picture of health

team47b

I am insulin dependent diabetic, I have neuropathy (nerve damage) in my toes, feet, knees, fingers, hands, arms etc, I have chemical inbalance induced depression, social anxiety, panic attacks, I have a resting heart rate that rarely dips below 70bpm, a cr@p immune system that allows me to get everything going and keep it for record amounts of time currently I've had tonsilitus for the past two years.

And a headache.




Wot you got?

Cleat Eastwood

I've some haribo bears from wiggle

seanoconn

team47b wrote:

I am insulin dependent diabetic, I have neuropathy (nerve damage) in my toes, feet, knees, fingers, hands, arms etc, I have chemical inbalance induced depression, social anxiety, panic attacks, I have a resting heart rate that rarely dips below 70bpm, a cr@p immune system that allows me to get everything going and keep it for record amounts of time currently I've had tonsilitus for the past two years.

And a headache.




Wot you got?

Pfft :roll: You think that's bad....

I get heartburn occasionally,
My right elbow clicks sometimes (clipless fall injury)
And if I stare at a white background, an annoying floater bobs up and down in my left eye!

simonhead

I married a girl and only met the Mother in Law on the day of our wedding.

capt_slog

High blood pressure. Which is the reason I started cycling again after a gap of 35years; I made a deal with myself and the doctor that I could stop taking one of the tablets if I got my fitness up.

I have a bad shoulder which gives me no end of gyp every now and then, but especially when i want to look back over my right shoulder. It was caused by a badly timed fall when I used to do Ju Jitsu.

More recently, I had my appendix out 4 weeks ago which has stopped me riding and I'm still 'banned' for another 2 weeks.

AchillesLeftKnee

Aside from a variation of one of T47b's issues and the body part described in the user name (and the medical profession aren't allowed within a country mile of either!), it's all working rather well. Oh, and hot weather water retention is definitely one of my talents, although finding an appropriately timed slimming contest so as to exploit it to the full is something that's eluded me to date.

badly_dubbed

I have an ingrown toenail right now (serious!) and it's the most painful thing I've ever experienced...gonna get smashed and try cut it out with the scalpel..

robertsims

Simon wins!

simonhead

Capt Slog wrote:

More recently, I had my appendix out 4 weeks ago which has stopped me riding and I'm still 'banned' for another 2 weeks.

Keyhole or full opening that ends up looking like a lopsided smile.

jonomc4

Insulin Dependant diabetic (30 years - but don't seem to have nerve damage) - high cholesterol (under control) - high blood pressure (under control) and recently hypothyroidism (starting to get under control) I also suffer from many kidney stones (about 5 a year) one attack was so bad they though it was my appendix and I had it removed (not keyhole) another was so large that I had to go under general anaesthetic and have it removed (I don't want to go into details of how). Reckon I am winning this game

All in all I seem to be more healthy than most of the people around me (certainly fitter) and they are 10 to 20 years younger than me.

capt_slog

simonhead wrote:

Capt Slog wrote:

More recently, I had my appendix out 4 weeks ago which has stopped me riding and I'm still 'banned' for another 2 weeks.

Keyhole or full opening that ends up looking like a lopsided smile.

Keyhole. A 3cm cut for the camera just below my navel, and two more 1cm cuts for the knife and fork. It's easy when looking at them to think they are tiny but I sort of lost the fact that they had to 'tunnel' a long way, one of the operating cuts is on the opposite side to where my appendix was. Made a slight error in thinking I was more healed than I really was.

natrix

Congenital aortic stenosis (born with a heart problem), open heart surgery aged 13 (by the infamous Mr Wisheart - see http://medicalharm.org/doctor-stories/s ... and-dying/ ), also have now developed an aortic aneursism, and am waiting to have the aortic valve in my heart replaced with a mechanical one. A lifetime of check-ups, investigative procedures, health worries, etc.

Never been able to do competitive sports, used to struggle to climb a flight of stairs, but can still tootle along on my bike.

Shoot happens and there's lots worse off than me

simonhead

Capt Slog wrote:

simonhead wrote:

Capt Slog wrote:

More recently, I had my appendix out 4 weeks ago which has stopped me riding and I'm still 'banned' for another 2 weeks.

Keyhole or full opening that ends up looking like a lopsided smile.

Keyhole. A 3cm cut for the camera just below my navel, and two more 1cm cuts for the knife and fork. It's easy when looking at them to think they are tiny but I sort of lost the fact that they had to 'tunnel' a long way, one of the operating cuts is on the opposite side to where my appendix was. Made a slight error in thinking I was more healed than I really was.

Keyhole is a bitch, I was lucky enough to have the full cut as mine had ruptured and recovered a darn site quicker than the dude in the same ward that had the keyhole the day before me. Feel for ya mate, its not very comfortable for a few weeks after and breaking wind can be a little painfull.

lawrences

I need a crap

laurentian

Gout, Piles, Dodgy left knee after 4 ops, double hernia op in March and, after going out on bike within 3 weeks of op aggravated it and was banned from cycling until . . . tonight!!!

Still run, weight train and play rugby every week at 48 so better off than many all in all.

ballysmate

A surly disposition. Now bugger off!

keef66

For over a decade I've been having recurrent depressive episodes, despite having nothing to be depressed about. All the antidepressants I've tried so far seem to stop working after a while, but the side effects carry on. The most infuriating of which is chronic constipation despite a diet which is higher in fibre than that of the average racehorse. Which in turn leads to bouts of haemarrhoids and rectal bleeding. Which at one point left me with iron deficiency anaemia, neccessitating several weeks taking iron tablets, one side effect of which is....constipation!

At the other end I have a hiatus hernia which left untreated gives me serious acid reflux, so I'm on daily medication for that too.

3 knee operations so far to remove disintegrating meniscal cartilage, and a cheery assurance from my orthopod that I'll need knee replacements in the next 5 years.

And my eyesight seems to be going to hell in a handcart. If I drop something on the garage floor it's easier to order another one online than waste 25 minutes crawling about looking for it.

GiantMike

Broken right collar bone. Still broken after 9 weeks and shows no signs of healing naturally. Still riding 160 miles a week butI can't give it 'full beans' out of the saddle.

Oh, and I'm addicted to crack cocaine.

cornerblock

keef66 wrote:

For over a decade I've been having recurrent depressive episodes, despite having nothing to be depressed about. All the antidepressants I've tried so far seem to stop working after a while, but the side effects carry on. The most infuriating of which is chronic constipation despite a diet which is higher in fibre than that of the average racehorse. Which in turn leads to bouts of haemarrhoids and rectal bleeding. Which at one point left me with iron deficiency anaemia, neccessitating several weeks taking iron tablets, one side effect of which is....constipation!

At the other end I have a hiatus hernia which left untreated gives me serious acid reflux, so I'm on daily medication for that too.

3 knee operations so far to remove disintegrating meniscal cartilage, and a cheery assurance from my orthopod that I'll need knee replacements in the next 5 years.

And my eyesight seems to be going to hell in a handcart. If I drop something on the garage floor it's easier to order another one online than waste 25 minutes crawling about looking for it.

Apart from that everything's ok though?

team47b

Cleat Eastwood wrote:

I've some haribo bears from wiggle

That's really bad, nothing worse than sending Haribo to a vegetarian!

That explains the long face


I feel better for starting this contest :twisted:

Kieran_Burns

Vegetarian with a high fibre diet; that means every time I go for a dump it's like passing a log backwards out of my ar$e.

Apparently it means I won't get colonic cancer. My theory for this is that the cancer cells get sheered off by the aforesaid log and flushed down the bog.

doug5_10

team47b wrote:

Wot you got?

Itchy Balls

simonhead

Kieran_Burns wrote:

Vegetarian with a high fibre diet; that means every time I go for a dump it's like passing a log backwards out of my ar$e.

Apparently it means I won't get colonic cancer. My theory for this is that the cancer cells get sheered off by the aforesaid log and flushed down the bog.

Really, I did vegetarianism for a month as a bet and was scared i would shart myself everytime i broke wind.

Anonymous

Just stubbed my toe. The little one of all things!

Kieran_Burns

simonhead wrote:

Kieran_Burns wrote:

Vegetarian with a high fibre diet; that means every time I go for a dump it's like passing a log backwards out of my ar$e.

Apparently it means I won't get colonic cancer. My theory for this is that the cancer cells get sheered off by the aforesaid log and flushed down the bog.

Really, I did vegetarianism for a month as a bet and was scared i would shart myself everytime i broke wind.

Nah. you're just REALLY regular. Oh, and when you need to go - you have NO choice. None whatsofriggingever. I coined the phrase "having a vegetarian moment". Which involves a sudden rapidly growing realisation that you need to be somewhere else. Fast.

seanoconn

I can only maintain a massive erection for 8 hours unaided

ballysmate

seanoconn wrote:

I can only maintain a massive erection for 8 hours unaided

What? You're a window cleaner on The Shard?

Cleat Eastwood

seanoconn wrote:

I can only maintain a massive erection for 8 hours unaided

2 minutes in january, 2 minutes in February, 3 minutes in....

AchillesLeftKnee

seanoconn wrote:

I can only maintain a massive erection for 8 hours unaided

As in, if assistance arrives then it can't be maintained? That must be rather awkward.

ballysmate

team47b wrote:

I am insulin dependent diabetic, I have neuropathy (nerve damage) in my toes, feet, knees, fingers, hands, arms etc, I have chemical inbalance induced depression, social anxiety, panic attacks, I have a resting heart rate that rarely dips below 70bpm, a cr@p immune system that allows me to get everything going and keep it for record amounts of time currently I've had tonsilitus for the past two years.

And a headache.




Wot you got?

Just trying to think of an upside for you.
Remember the saying about sitting on your hand for 10 mins so that it goes numb, before having a w@nk so that it feels like someone else's hand? Well with your nerve damaged hands..........?
As I said, just looking for the positives.

the playing mantis

Kieran_Burns wrote:

simonhead wrote:

Kieran_Burns wrote:

Vegetarian with a high fibre diet; that means every time I go for a dump it's like passing a log backwards out of my ar$e.

Apparently it means I won't get colonic cancer. My theory for this is that the cancer cells get sheered off by the aforesaid log and flushed down the bog.

Really, I did vegetarianism for a month as a bet and was scared i would shart myself everytime i broke wind.

Nah. you're just REALLY regular. Oh, and when you need to go - you have NO choice. None whatsofriggingever. I coined the phrase "having a vegetarian moment". Which involves a sudden rapidly growing realisation that you need to be somewhere else. Fast.

really, i thought high fibre was encouraged so that you pass softened stools, not mighty painful logs?

personally i have nothing major. terrible eyes, without me contacts or wengers would be blind, broken right knee (no acl/damaged miniscus) due to someoen who couldnt take my silky 5 a side skills, occasional bad back due to over tense back muscles,clicky elbow from breaking it,likewise thumb from cricket, occasional shin splints if running everyday. fooked up feet. my toes are a mess, nails are damaged and misshsapen, through too much cricket in my youth and beeing tall, being liable to getting yorked, inevitably on my big toes which have never recovered. o and theres quite clearly something slightly amiss in the old noggin.