what's the correct tool to adjust a nasty saatchi with?

sungod

i'm not a huge nigella fan, but no woman deserves this

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/ni ... ee-1955564

FocusZing

Josh_No90

I think pickling Saatchi in formaldehyde is a bit extreme.

daviesee

Josh_No90 wrote:

I think pickling Saatchi in formaldehyde is a bit extreme.

Only because he wouldn't rot.

FishFish

Getting a bit fat.

simonhead

Should bring back the old 16th century flogging, cat o nine tails and treat the wounds with neat rum.

Yellow Peril

I have to admit to choosing ice axe for this particular poll purely because of the irony of a wife beating capitalist meeting the same end as Trotsky.

seanoconn

I'm from the Dennis Waterman school of how to treat your woman, so it depends what she said

ballysmate

seanoconn wrote:

I'm from the Dennis Waterman school of how to treat your woman, so it depends what she said

Bit disappointed in this.

I would have wagered good money that you would have offered your 'tool' to sort out Nigella.

Pross

Bit of 4 x 4 with nails embedded will do the trick. I am also available to assist in her hour of distress. Mrs P won't mind as it will take not one but two household chores away from her having the curvaceous Nigella in the house for a bit.

seanoconn

Pross wrote:

Bit of 4 x 4 with nails embedded will do the trick. I am also available to assist in her hour of distress. Mrs P won't mind as it will take not one but two household chores away from her having the curvaceous Nigella in the house for a bit.

Cooking and sex Now than was more like a 10,000th post

usedtobefast

I have to admit to choosing ice axe for this particular poll purely because of the irony of a wife beating capitalist meeting the same end as Trotsky.

Get your facts right it was an ice pick not axe, but I'm with you on the sentiment.

Yellow Peril

usedtobefast wrote:

I have to admit to choosing ice axe for this particular poll purely because of the irony of a wife beating capitalist meeting the same end as Trotsky.

Get your facts right it was an ice pick not axe, but I'm with you on the sentiment.

Got the following off Wikipedia (so it must be true!)

An ice axe consists of at least five components:

Head — usually made of steel and featuring a pick and adze. A hole in the center is provided for attaching a wrist leash or carabiner.
Pick — the toothed pointed end of the head, typically slightly curved (aiding both in ergonomics and self-arrest).
Adze — the flat, wide end of the head used for chopping steps in hard snow and ice.
Shaft — straight or slightly angled, typically wider front-to-back than side-to-side, flat on the sides and smoothly rounded on the ends. Traditional shafts were made of wood, but are now almost exclusively of lightweight metals (such as aluminum or titanium) or composite (including fiberglass, Kevlar or carbon filament).
Spike, or ferrule — a steel point at the base of the shaft used for balance and safety when the axe is held by its head in walking stick fashion.

The real question is would it be Campag or Shimano?

sungod

for the avoidance of doubt, i was thinking ice axe rather than the trotsky terminating ice pick, although that would be a satisfying alternative

by way of illustration, this is my ice axe (i attached a smiley sticker so that you know it's mine)

MattC59

sungod wrote:

for the avoidance of doubt, i was thinking ice axe rather than the trotsky terminating ice pick, although that would be a satisfying alternative

by way of illustration, this is my ice axe (i attached a smiley sticker so that you know it's mine)

Handy bottle opener on the head

gmb

Chill out you lot.

Charles says it was just a playful tiff, which the photos would tend to prove. Especially the ones where he is choking her first with one hand, then with two.

He's not a vicious, cowardly, self absorbed piece of sh!t after all... and Nigella was clearly overreacting.

Now. where's that motorbike chain?

Yossie

I think a blunderbuss would have the desired effect both in a painful and comedic way.

Anyone got any piccies of Nigella's norks while we're here?

fast as fupp

just imagine she had scolded him for spending £5k on another pinarello?


i think his reaction would be entirely justified.

pinno

How about 10,000 cyclists all agreeing that a pick-axe would be the tool?. Then the police would be overwhelmed by the sheer number of suspects.

BTW - Shhh.... NapD might be reading this (if he's not spanking his monkey over some bike pic that ticks all the boxes that is).

sungod

it's ok, we'll only give him a playful tiff with it

Druidor

simonhead wrote:

Should bring back the old 16th century flogging, cat o nine tails and treat the wounds with neat rum.

Think malt vinegar and salt would be a better after care

Pross

Yossie wrote:

I think a blunderbuss would have the desired effect both in a painful and comedic way.

Anyone got any piccies of Nigella's norks while we're here?

This do you

arran77

Pross wrote:

Yossie wrote:

I think a blunderbuss would have the desired effect both in a painful and comedic way.

Anyone got any piccies of Nigella's norks while we're here?

This do you

I'd have my hands on those rather than round her throat

ballysmate

arran77 wrote:

Pross wrote:

Yossie wrote:

I think a blunderbuss would have the desired effect both in a painful and comedic way.

Anyone got any piccies of Nigella's norks while we're here?

This do you

I'd have my hands on those rather than round her throat

Only one hand free at the moment. :oops:

Hoopdriver

Druidor wrote:

simonhead wrote:

Should bring back the old 16th century flogging, cat o nine tails and treat the wounds with neat rum.

Think malt vinegar and salt would be a better after care

Nothing beats a generous splash of iodine

Hoopdriver

Yellow Peril wrote:

I have to admit to choosing ice axe for this particular poll purely because of the irony of a wife beating capitalist meeting the same end as Trotsky.

Actually he got it with an ice PICK

bartimaeus

an ice pick that made his ears burn

Yellow Peril

Hoopdriver wrote:

Yellow Peril wrote:

I have to admit to choosing ice axe for this particular poll purely because of the irony of a wife beating capitalist meeting the same end as Trotsky.

Actually he got it with an ice PICK

sigh...yes that's correct...the pick being the long pointy part of an ice AXE....

bartimaeus

arran77

Clearly Nick Clegg is not the answer, he doesn't seem to want to commit to it being right or wrong....

http://news.sky.com/story/1106123/nigella-lawson-clegg-fails-to-condemn-assault

:roll:

He certainly is a tool though just not neccesserily the correct one

lawrences

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=pl ... Oe8btzKQGA