Vote for me !

pinno

I want to be Prime Minister.

My manifesto:
I will give everybody in the UK £60 a week who earn less than 50k per annum. I will then tax every penny you earn above that. If you work for just one hour, you wil pay tax on it. This will get rid fo the poverty trap. This will cut the welfare bill by billions like ATOS and the other dickheads who run it. It will also encourage employment as employers (like me) don't have to go through loopholes when taking someone on - they are responsible for returning all tax levvied on any employment but don't have to deal with the rigmarole of the DWP.
Councils have to present their anticipated budgets and take the money from the national pool which will be derived by:
Setting Income tax at 50% and 60% for those who earn above 100K pa. No more council tax, no more road tax and no more VAT (this will boost the economy no end). The more you earn, the more you pay.
I will re-instate the Rent Authority and stem the flow of money to landlords who are contributing to the welfare bill and the housing problem as well as leaching the welfare state.
If you have a British passport, you will pay tax on your earnings in the UK regardless of how many days you are here.
If you are a corporation, you wil pay tax on any activity that makes a profit by your activities in th UK.
If you are a director on a Company based in Britan but do not own a British Passport, you will pay income tax on your earnings derived from activities in the UK.
I will remove the NHS and education system from the political spectrum, they will be run by committee. School meals will be compulsory and PE will occupy at least 4 hours of the syllabus a week.
It will be illegal to have an offshore bank account.
If you are a service/retail company who employs more than 100 staff, you must guarantee that 80% of them are on full-time proper contracts unless there is a genuine reason that you cannot. No longer will working tax credits and housing benefit indirectly prop up the profits of huge companies because they don't offer proper jobs.
It will be illegal to drive your kids in your Chelsea tractor or Nissoyotaclonewagon to school unless you live more than 5 miles from it and there is no bus service.
You can own any dog you like. If the dog injures or kills someone, YOU will be charged with the offence as if YOU had done the injuries yourself.
Share dividends will be capped to a nationally set percentage. The remainder can be used for re-investment purposes tax free, but taxable at 75% if not so that we can start to stem the short termism indemic in the UK.
Banks will be 3 tier - domestic, commercial or higher end, seperate and not intertwined. Owned and run by elected personnel with boards comprising of government, community and commerce.
Pensions will be private or state - state pensions cannot be cashed abroad. You choose.

Go on then, unpick that lot, I am sure i'll get a number of swipes but i'm sticking my neck out anyway. I am going to sit here with my popcorn, flag and tin helmet.

declan1

pinarello001 wrote:

I want to be Prime Minister.

My manifesto:
I will give everybody in the UK £60 a week who earn less than 50k per annum. I will then tax every penny you earn above that. If you work for just one hour, you wil pay tax on it. This will get rid fo the poverty trap. This will cut the welfare bill by billions like ATOS and the other dickheads who run it. It will also encourage employment as employers (like me) don't have to go through loopholes when taking someone on - they are responsible for returning all tax levvied on any employment but don't have to deal with the rigmarole of the DWP.
Councils have to present their anticipated budgets and take the money from the national pool which will be derived by:
Setting Income tax at 50% and 60% for those who earn above 100K pa. No more council tax, no more road tax and no more VAT (this will boost the economy no end). The more you earn, the more you pay.
I will re-instate the Rent Authority and stem the flow of money to landlords who are contributing to the welfare bill and the housing problem as well as leaching the welfare state.
If you have a British passport, you will pay tax on your earnings in the UK regardless of how many days you are here.
If you are a corporation, you wil pay tax on any activity that makes a profit by your activities in th UK.
If you are a director on a Company based in Britan but do not own a British Passport, you will pay income tax on your earnings derived from activities in the UK.
I will remove the NHS and education system from the political spectrum, they will be run by committee. School meals will be compulsory and PE will occupy at least 4 hours of the syllabus a week.
It will be illegal to have an offshore bank account.
If you are a service/retail company who employs more than 100 staff, you must guarantee that 80% of them are on full-time proper contracts unless there is a genuine reason that you cannot. No longer will working tax credits and housing benefit indirectly prop up the profits of huge companies because they don't offer proper jobs.
It will be illegal to drive your kids in your Chelsea tractor or Nissoyotaclonewagon to school unless you live more than 5 miles from it and there is no bus service.
You can own any dog you like. If the dog injures or kills someone, YOU will be charged with the offence as if YOU had done the injuries yourself.
Share dividends will be capped to a nationally set percentage. The remainder can be used for re-investment purposes tax free, but taxable at 75% if not so that we can start to stem the short termism indemic in the UK.
Banks will be 3 tier - domestic, commercial or higher end, seperate and not intertwined. Owned and run by elected personnel with boards comprising of government, community and commerce.
Pensions will be private or state - state pensions cannot be cashed abroad. You choose.

Go on then, unpick that lot, I am sure i'll get a number of swipes but i'm sticking my neck out anyway. I am going to sit here with my popcorn, flag and tin helmet.

Road tax doesn't exist - you should know that!

pauldavid

I will not be voting for you, your rubbish!

You say you will raise my tax to "50 & 60 percent". This adds up to 110% which presumably means I would owe 10% more than I earn.

On this information I conclude you are a n0bber and would probably fiddle with the girl who filed your expenses.

daviesee

50% tax on minimum wage?
Illegal to have an offshore account? What if you have a British passport, properties and business interests abroad as well as here?
Starbucks claim (by creative accounting) to have not made a penny profit in the UK.

Some good ideas otherwise.

team47b

That's one hellava lot of common sense from you :shock: You been ill?

Liked the idea about dog owner responsibility, spookily I had just said 'they' should hang dog and owner side by side in a public place, haven't decided on the offense yet

bernithebiker

pinarello001 wrote:

Setting Income tax at 50% and 60% for those who earn above 100K pa.

Some good ideas in there, but not this one, however much it assuages your blood lust against high earners.

You will be in a race with France to kick out of the country all those that run companies, employ people, have ideas, take risks, work all week long, etc. etc. Yes, you will get rid of some lazy, profiteering leeches, but you're throwing the baby out with the bath water......!

There is currently an exodus of talent from France to the UK, to the great detriment of France and the benefit of the UK, due to Hollandes 75% tax (+ numerous others). It's lunacy of the highest order.

AchillesLeftKnee

By scrapping VAT, VED, and Council Tax, you're looking at about £120bn per year shortfall.

For what it's worth, that's about what the NHS costs a year, is more than the total raised each year in NI, and isn't that far off what's raised in a year in income tax. It's roughly the same the as the size of the current budget deficit.

Share dividends will be capped to a nationally set percentage. The remainder can be used for re-investment purposes tax free, but taxable at 75% if not so that we can start to stem the short termism indemic in the UK.

So, in essence, you're making it hugely undesirable to raise to money in the UK by the issue of shares, and introducing a 75% rate of corporation tax. Last one out turn off the lights!

RDW

pinarello001 wrote:

School meals will be compulsory and PE will occupy at least 4 hours of the syllabus a week.

Cruel and unusual punishment, surely?

schofie

I got bored after the second paragraph, so you therefore get my vote by being just as boring and pointless as all the other politicians in the world.

GiantMike

Is this your manifesto? Seems a bit 'thin'. You'd need to show that your party could win an election. That's how you get to be PM; I can't vote for you to be PM directly. And which constituency would you represent?

So I can vote for you, please clarify the following.....

Who will select the NHS committee? How are the spending decisions audited? Who determines the level of funding? Who is the committee accountable to and what's the process for this?

"Banks will be owned and run by elected personnel with boards comprising of government, community and commerce". Who elects these board members? Do the elected board members then have to buy a bit of the bank?

How are my tax arrangements affected by dual-citizenship?

At what level of income does the 50% income rate tax start?

Will you be paying any benefits? What are they and are they means-tested? You're obviously trying to appeal to the unwashed masses but you haven't told them how much free money they'll get.

Who is going to enforce the 'Chelsea Tractor' rule? If I live a mile away from my child's school but I have to drive to my sick mother's house every morning too, which is conveniently 10 miles away, can I combine these 2 journeys?

Because I'm drunk, I agree with your manifesto. I am thinking of starting a new company that will employ 20,000 employees, but they will all be imported Romanian labour with Romanian passports. Presumably they will pay all their taxes to Romania. What are your views on my plan?

You have a lot of fiscal policies (the easiest sort of policy to have). What are your monetary policies (exchange rates, volume of money in circulation and inflation targets)? Who sets and administers the monetary policy? Another committee?

What's your policy on gay marriage, trans-gender marriage, recycling, football ticket touting, flood defences, another Manchester Airport terminal, civil service reforms, membership of the EU, the plight of hegdehogs.

seanoconn

I could be tempted to vote.
What's your stance on microwaves?? And the extortionate cost of cinema food & drink?

What's the name of your party?

Anyway, all this is irrelevant. Hell would have to freeze over before we had a PM of Scottish decent. It just wouldn't happen.

daviesee

seanoconn wrote:

I could be tempted to vote.
What's your stance on microwaves?? And the extortionate cost of cinema food & drink?

What's the name of your party?

Anyway, all this is irrelevant. Hell would have to freeze over before we had a PM of Scottish decent. It just wouldn't happen.

:?:
Check your history as there has been a few.
Recent history.
Gordon Brown. Okay, you got rid of him ASAP but still...
Tony Blair. Born in Edinburgh and educated at Fettes. Whether he pretended otherwise or not.

PS:- Doesn't that statement have more than a hint of racism to it?

seanoconn

daviesee wrote:

seanoconn wrote:

I could be tempted to vote.
What's your stance on microwaves?? And the extortionate cost of cinema food & drink?

What's the name of your party?

Anyway, all this is irrelevant. Hell would have to freeze over before we had a PM of Scottish decent. It just wouldn't happen.

:?:
Check your history as there has been a few.
Recent history.
Gordon Brown. Okay, you got rid of him ASAP but still...
Tony Blair. Born in Edinburgh and educated at Fettes. Whether he pretended otherwise or not.

PS:- Doesn't that statement have more than a hint of racism to it?

Wow! There have been PM's of Scottish decent. :shock:

I'd have to get up pretty earlier to catch you out daviesee

(PS, anything goes, racist or other, when directed at Pinarello. Don't get me started on Kenyans!)

GiantMike

pinarello001 wrote:

I want to be Prime Minister.

Why don't you hold a referendum and become an independent state? That way you could govern, serve and receive all at the same time and you wouldn't have to balance to needs/wants of lots of different people.

AchillesLeftKnee

GiantMike wrote:

At what level of income does the 50% income rate tax start?

After scrapping the taxes that were listed to go, I reckon the 50% income tax band would need to start at about £15kpa to make up the shortfall.

pinno

GiantMike wrote:

Is this your manifesto? Seems a bit 'thin'. You'd need to show that your party could win an election. You all vote for me, simple.

So I can vote for you, please clarify the following.....

Who will select the NHS committee? The NHS themselves coupled with the BMA.

"Banks will be owned and run by elected personnel with boards comprising of government, community and commerce". Who elects these board members? Do the elected board members then have to buy a bit of the bank?

Thats a good idea

How are my tax arrangements affected by dual-citizenship?

You pay income tax on whatever you earn in the UK.

At what level of income does the 50% income rate tax start?

At £15880 pa. Why ? Because I am already giving you £60 per week. Which equates to a potential £20k a year tax free.

Will you be paying any benefits? What are they and are they means-tested? You're obviously trying to appeal to the unwashed masses but you haven't told them how much free money they'll get.

If you are disabled then you will get extra benefits but one based on medical common sense rather than the arbitrary how far you can walk mallarchy. The rest get £60 a week.

Who is going to enforce the 'Chelsea Tractor' rule? If I live a mile away from my child's school but I have to drive to my sick mother's house every morning too, which is conveniently 10 miles away, can I combine these 2 journeys?

Yes, there will always be cases where the Chelsea trattor rule is not feasible but these cases are the exception not the rule.

Because I'm drunk, I agree with your manifesto. I am thinking of starting a new company that will employ 20,000 employees, but they will all be imported Romanian labour with Romanian passports. Presumably they will pay all their taxes to Romania. What are your views on my plan?

See above- they will pay income tax on whatever they earn in the UK - no need to import the Romanians as there will be benefit financially to you however, you may have to do it 'cos there is a lot of layabouts who won't/can't/aren't capable of working.

You have a lot of fiscal policies (the easiest sort of policy to have). What are your monetary policies (exchange rates, volume of money in circulation and inflation targets)? Who sets and administers the monetary policy? Another committee?

Mostly by the bank of England but these things will be set by govt. as it is now.

What's your policy on gay marriage, trans-gender marriage

I have no problem with it. What I do have a problem with is the fact that the Gay community hijacked the Scottish green party - it was top of their manifesto and that this bill is taking up ar too much parliamentary time.

Recycling

Click on my www icon you plonker. I haven't got time or space here to start on that one.

Football ticket touting

As long as they are touting Stranraer FC tickets, thats fine. Else they are like the police: sometimes you need them.

Flood defences

You're drunk

Manchester Airport terminal

Very definately not. Although it may break a few hearts, we have to increase the amount of rail. Most of the Chilterns are soft and the high speed link to B'Ham could go underground for example. We have to minimise domestic flights.

Civil service reforms

That is this tory govt. trying to 'roll back the state' in their infinite wisdom and incidious attempts at dismatling the welfare state as well as the NHS without impedence from the EU and if anyone thinks otherwise, they need to get a grip.

Membership of the EU

...is crucial to our employment/human rights and our international standing/power/influence as well as the fact that many rural areas from Cornwall to Inverury have benfitted from the EU.

The plight of hegdehogs.

By decreasing road transport and use, it will give the hedgehogs a chance. We will make full use of derelict areas and rough ground for medowland, skylarks and lots of other wildlife, run by communities, schools colleges and the NT. There will be oodles of money from the overpaid olligarchs and tax avoiders to have a national pot to fund such ventures.

And whilst I am at it. Most of Scandinavians pay 55% tax. They enjoy a very high standard of living. The problem with the UK is that we live in a high cost, low wage society. We need to live in a high cost, high wage society. For all the whingers who don't want to pay those levels of taxes and are high earners, tough - you will still be rich, you are unlikely to suffer a drop in your living standards. Oddly enough, its those greedy high earners that got us into this mess and they have to be almost totally responsible for getting us out of it. Current Bankers pensions above £75k pa will be taxed to infinity you bunch of hedonistic leaching sociopaths. So go live in Brazil or wherever, I will freeze your UK accounts and I will take all of it.

Hokay Hose ?

ballysmate

If I were to join your party and served in some capacity, what expenses could I claim.
Manifesto is shite but don't care as long as I can get my exes.

pinno

Ballysmate wrote:

If I were to join your party and served in some capacity, what expenses could I claim.
Manifesto is shite but don't care as long as I can get my exes.

Car travel - 1p per mile.
Bike - 50p per mile.
Trike with breeze blocks in saddlebags - £1 a mile.
Giant genetically modified hedgehog - 20p per mile and a tin of cat food.
Horse - to be decided by debate in other post.

ballysmate

pinarello001 wrote:

Ballysmate wrote:

If I were to join your party and served in some capacity, what expenses could I claim.
Manifesto is shite but don't care as long as I can get my exes.

Car travel - 1p per mile.
Bike - 50p per mile.
Trike with breeze blocks in saddlebags - £1 a mile.
Giant genetically modified hedgehog - 20p per mile and a tin of cat food.
Horse - to be decided by debate in other post.

Would I be able to ride my bike through the gate and past the plebs?

GiantMike

pinarello001 wrote:

GiantMike wrote:

Will you be paying any benefits? What are they and are they means-tested? You're obviously trying to appeal to the unwashed masses but you haven't told them how much free money they'll get.

If you are disabled then you will get extra benefits but one based on medical common sense rather than the arbitrary how far you can walk mallarchy. The rest get £60 a week.

But I'm a single mum with 5 kids and I can't work because I've got acute angina. Will I only get £60 per week? Or do we each get £60 a week?

And what about housing benefit?

team47b

@GiantMike - you've had 5 kids and still have acute angina, well done :roll:

seanoconn

team47b wrote:

@GiantMike - you've had 5 kids and still have acute angina, well done :roll:

Post of the day for me

Frank the tank

I went out with a girl with acute angina.....................................Her t1ts weren't bad either.

Wunnunda

Vote? For you??

What sort of fool would vote for a cyclist?



BTW - there is just so much wrong with that picture I don't know where to begin....but his left hand brake leve will do for a start

seanoconn

Please don't be take in by the lies of this megalomaniacal, swaggering blowhard.

This nefarious narcissist, will say and do anything to gain your vote. While he crawls for support here, secretly he's laughing behind the electorates back and labelling us "a bunch of tossers" :roll:

His so called 'Manifesto' is nothing more than a copy of some Kim Jong un novelty toilet paper, obtained from a North Korean gift shop.

You will not get my vote you fabricating fantasist!

And remember, the only difference between a Pol Pot and a Pinarello is the lipstick.

seanoconn

Sorry OT but couldn't resist the font :oops:

pinno

S - S is for Sycophant
S - is for Sly Soft Southerner

Beware of S and his iniquitous Croydon propaganda machine. Beware the man who attempted to assasinate me(twice) by placing a bomb under the seat of my trattor mower. (BTW - the bomb was handy as I used it to excavate a new long drop as the other one had clogged up with foreign tourists thinking my sh1thouse was some ancient burial place.)
This man, the 'Croydon crawler' , the lost nephew of Robert Maxwell tried to leave the car park of his office on a quest to the bonnie land with T47b on the second attempt but I have a friend, yes one friend. A true diehard tw4t from Eeeeestbaaaawn who placed a breeze block in his left saddle bag and S ended up going round and round in futile circles, never managing to figure out why and never managing to actually leave the car park. His dodgy accomplice fell asleep waiting and had to be plied sweet hot tea with a dose of glucose and a quick session on the rollers to re-align himself mentally and physically for the long unfruitful haul back to Portugal in a bubble car.
'S', with his BR virginal 1000 posts, 'S' with his Irish roots and connections with the Croydon Peoples Liberation Front of Surrey who led the riots and burnt down a furniture shop on the 5th attempt as he struggled with the instructions for a box of matches.
The riots ended when Seans poor embaressed, disollusioned mother shouted "Bedtime Sonny Seany, i've made you a cup of cocoa", after she flashed her noorks at me.

SEAN O'CONNOR - aka The Croydon Car Park Crawler/Sean the con - p1ss artist of the most heinous variety, not to be trusted, not to be approached.

There's nothing worse than a dis-honest crook, what you need is a down to earth, reliable honest one so Vote for me, the tw4t you can trust.

Stevo_666

pinarello001 wrote:

Setting Income tax at 50% and 60% for those who earn above 100K pa.

As M. Hollande is finding out, counterproductive. The 50% rate raised bugger all in the UK while it lasted.

pinarello001 wrote:

No more council tax, no more road tax and no more VAT (this will boost the economy no end). The more you earn, the more you pay.

Massive fail - scrapping VAT will leave a financial hole that income tax cannot fill.

seanoconn

pinarello001 wrote:

S - S is for Sycophant
S - is for Sly Soft Southerner

Beware of S and his iniquitous Croydon propaganda machine. Beware the man who attempted to assasinate me(twice) by placing a bomb under the seat of my trattor mower. (BTW - the bomb was handy as I used it to excavate a new long drop as the other one hadUSA clogged up with foreign tourists thinking my sh1thouse was some ancient burial place.)
This man, the 'Croydon crawler' , the lost nephew of Robert Maxwell tried to leave the car park of his office on a quest to the bonnie land with T47b on USAthe second attempt but I have a friend, yes one friend. A true diehard tw4t from Eeeeestbaaaawn who placed a breeze block in his left saddle bag and S ended up going round and round in futile circles, never managing to figure out why and never managing to actually leave the car park. His dodgy accomplice fell asleep waitingUSA and had to be plied sweet hot tea with a dose of glucose and a quick session on the rollers to re-align himself mentally and physically for the long unfruitful haul back to Portugal in a bubble car.USA
'S', with his BR virginal 1000 posts, 'S' with his Irish roots and connections with the Croydon Peoples Liberation Front of Surrey who led the riots and burnt down a furniture shop on the 5th attempt as he struggled with the instructions for a box of matches.USA
The riots ended when Seans poor embaressed, disollusioned mother shouted "Bedtime Sonny Seany, i've made you a cup of cocoa", after she flashed her noorks at me.

SEAN O'CONNOR - aka The Croydon Car Park Crawler/Sean the con - p1ss artist of the most heinous variety, not to be trusted, not to be approached.

There's nothing worse than USAa dis-honest crook, what you need is a down to earth, reliable honest one so Vote for me, the tw4t you can trust.

The hatchet job may have left me with a bloody nose but has only stiffened my resolve. It is now time to expose and explain why extermination is the only possible course of action.

What you're about to read is highly classified:

File name Pinarello001

Evil American sympathiser and crackpot cult leader Pinarello, twisted by hate from Chinese dominance, has formed a religion, based on the theory that we are all descended from an ancient alien American civilisation, called the 'Yankee Tw@tans.' Providing proof that America is correct not to believe in the theory of evolution. His despicable plan to brainwash the unsuspecting cycling elite of Bike Radar, through the use of subliminal messages hidden in his posts, has already been put into action. He will then harvest our juicy brains, which will be mashed to a pulp and fed intravenously into the work shy American populous, raising I.Q and giving the gift of irony. Enabling the USA to crush the Chinese.

As soon as my sleepy accomplice and I escape the car park, we will be travelling north in streamlined killing machine t47b's love bug, arriving in time for a Christmas showdown with the dark lord of the forum.



Do not trust this man!

daviesee

Some people seem to be taking this thing a touch too seriously. :?

Wunnunda

Ooooh - I don't know. I'm having a hard time seeing past the tongues in cheeks ! Though I think some people have a bit too much time on their hands

Any chance of adding cat control legislation to this manifesto ?