Sweet Mother of God...

Kieran_Burns

Okay, I'm late leaving work (3 hour conference call... I may actually just pretend to be dead for the next one) so it's fully dark by the time I'm nearing home.

I get to the cross roads which passes by the village where there's a Notts Uni campus; this is a stretch I regularly rant at students cycling without lights or utterly useless ones. I look across the junction and there's another one, just about to go down the completely unlit stretch of NSL with no lights whatsoever at the rear. :evil:

I figure I should do my good samaritan bit and at this point, decide to let them know and cycle behind them until we get to the village and the lit section.

I get close behind the bike and realise there IS a light, some pathetic little Mars clone and the batteries are clearly flat.

I call out to the student and let her (now realise it's a her while trying to stop idiots overtaking into oncoming traffic and negotiate the bloody awful road surface) know that the light is basically useless.

We both stop and I call back to say if it's okay I'll cycle behind until she gets to the village and the lit section. She's happy with this and she cycles past.

It's at this point I realise:
She is staggeringly cute
She is wearing what amounts to lycra hot pants :shock: :shock: :shock: these things were tiny

Completely bare and just flipping gorgeous legs. I was desparately trying not to look. :? :oops: No, really.

So I cycle alongside to have a chat and that's not working, 'cos now she's looking over and her cycle skills aren't great and my attention is on anything but the road. I can't go in front, so I cycle behind. It was bloody torture.

We chat as we go along and God help me, she goes to shop to get some more batteries for the light and THAT'S on my way home. It didn't bloody help when we came to little hill and she stood up on the pedals... I may have whimpered at this point.

When I got home, I put the shower on full cold and steamed for a while.....

meanredspider

Pictures or it didn't happen!!!




(Was that a flimsy enough excuse for pictures? )

Kieran_Burns

It was too dark, too cold and too foggy for the camera.

(goddamnit)

daniel_b

Kieran_Burns wrote:

It was too dark, too cold and too foggy for the camera.

(goddamnit)

There's always tomorrow.

itboffin

At what point did the death star fire its main gun and kill everyone ...?

lies all lies FACT :roll:

Kieran_Burns

itboffin wrote:

At what point did the death star fire its main gun and kill everyone ...?

lies all lies FACT :roll:

Your jealousy is so transparent

SmellTheGlove

Clipless as well, I'll be bound

itboffin

Warming up the millenium falcon lasers now :evil:

Kieran_Burns

SmellTheGlove wrote:

Clipless as well, I'll be bound

Giant MTB with knobblys - flat pedals. Holy crap. I'm a cyclist.

daviesee

Kieran_Burns wrote:

.....I put the shower on full cold and steamed for a while.....

There's a new euphemism.

daddy0

Kieran_Burns wrote:

It's at this point I realise:
She has breasts

FTFY

First.Aspect

Kieran_Burns wrote:

itboffin wrote:

At what point did the death star fire its main gun and kill everyone ...?

lies all lies FACT :roll:

Your jealousy is so transparent

I'm afriad she will have got home and told her flatmates that a nice middle aged man a bit like Great Uncle Bulgaria helped her home.

Sorry mate.

The Rookie

Jealous....yup....letch away, it's all your good for at your age anyway!

msmancunia

You know that’s such a coincidence – I saw this earlier this morning on a bike forum for girls:

Student Cyclist said:

I was cycling home from college last night when I heard someone bellowing at me from behind. I turned around and this old man on a bike was shouting at me that my lights didn’t work. Funny – they were fine, but he had glasses on like milk bottles so maybe he couldn’t see them very well.

He tried to scalp me but failed, so he tucked in behind me and tried to draft instead, but he was so unfit I could hear him almost having an asthma attack behind me. The way he was looking me you’d have thought I was wearing hotpants instead of my normal cycling shorts – I don’t know, maybe he hasn’t seen a decent pair of legs in a while. He even tried talking to me, saying something about going home with him to "look at his bikes and drink some foine woine". Ew.

I tried to shake him off and went into a shop for some fags and a couple of bottles of WKD but when I came out he was sat on the kerb wheezing, saying he thought he’d better wait for me, you know, with the amount of creeps around. Oh *whatever*. So off we went again. I finally managed to shake him when we went up a tiny little hill and he started going backwards. I bet he went home to "polish his top tube", the dirty old man.

.

Drfabulous0

There's a bike forum for girls?

Kieran_Burns

First Aspect wrote:

Kieran_Burns wrote:

itboffin wrote:

At what point did the death star fire its main gun and kill everyone ...?

lies all lies FACT :roll:

Your jealousy is so transparent

I'm afriad she will have got home and told her flatmates that a nice middle aged man a bit like Great Uncle Bulgaria helped her home.

Sorry mate.

I happen to agree!

...siiiigh...

Kieran_Burns

I'm also waiting for someone to resurrect 'that' thread....

veronese68

There's probably going to be a police report this evening warning of a heavy breathing, cape clad cyclist hanging around Notts Uni with studio quality front lights and a head cam.

daviesee

Veronese68 wrote:

There's probably going to be a police report this evening warning of a heavy breathing, cape clad cyclist hanging around Notts Uni with studio quality front lights and a head cam.

Good point. Head cam = photos. Or it didn't happen.

essex-commuter

msmancunia wrote:

You know that’s such a coincidence – I saw this earlier this morning on a bike forum for girls:

Student Cyclist said:

I was cycling home from college last night when I heard someone bellowing at me from behind. I turned around and this old man on a bike was shouting at me that my lights didn’t work. Funny – they were fine, but he had glasses on like milk bottles so maybe he couldn’t see them very well.

He tried to scalp me but failed, so he tucked in behind me and tried to draft instead, but he was so unfit I could hear him almost having an asthma attack behind me. The way he was looking me you’d have thought I was wearing hotpants instead of my normal cycling shorts – I don’t know, maybe he hasn’t seen a decent pair of legs in a while. He even tried talking to me, saying something about going home with him to "look at his bikes and drink some foine woine". Ew.

I tried to shake him off and went into a shop for some fags and a couple of bottles of WKD but when I came out he was sat on the kerb wheezing, saying he thought he’d better wait for me, you know, with the amount of creeps around. Oh *whatever*. So off we went again. I finally managed to shake him when we went up a tiny little hill and he started going backwards. I bet he went home to "polish his top tube", the dirty old man.

.

Kieran_Burns

daviesee wrote:

Veronese68 wrote:

There's probably going to be a police report this evening warning of a heavy breathing, cape clad cyclist hanging around Notts Uni with studio quality front lights and a head cam.

Good point. Head cam = photos. Or it didn't happen.

Already said - it was too dark, too foggy (lens got covered in water on the way in, so I didn't even bother on the way home) and if you bunch of perves think I would share that if I had it....

daviesee

Kieran_Burns wrote:

Already said - it was too dark, too foggy (lens got covered in water on the way in, so I didn't even bother on the way home) and if you bunch of perves think I would share that if I had it....

Drat.
Convenient excuse.
Pot and kettle?

veronese68

It wasn't foggy at all. The old perv's heavy breathing had fogged up the lens.

nicklouse

is this her?

mtb-idle

msmancunia wrote:

You know that’s such a coincidence – I saw this earlier this morning on a bike forum for girls:

Student Cyclist said:

I was cycling home from college last night when I heard someone bellowing at me from behind. I turned around and this old man on a bike was shouting at me that my lights didn’t work. Funny – they were fine, but he had glasses on like milk bottles so maybe he couldn’t see them very well.

He tried to scalp me but failed, so he tucked in behind me and tried to draft instead, but he was so unfit I could hear him almost having an asthma attack behind me. The way he was looking me you’d have thought I was wearing hotpants instead of my normal cycling shorts – I don’t know, maybe he hasn’t seen a decent pair of legs in a while. He even tried talking to me, saying something about going home with him to "look at his bikes and drink some foine woine". Ew.

I tried to shake him off and went into a shop for some fags and a couple of bottles of WKD but when I came out he was sat on the kerb wheezing, saying he thought he’d better wait for me, you know, with the amount of creeps around. Oh *whatever*. So off we went again. I finally managed to shake him when we went up a tiny little hill and he started going backwards. I bet he went home to "polish his top tube", the dirty old man.

.

That is simply inspired, well done MsM

Kieran_Burns

You know what's just occured to me? This thread has gone exactly the same way as the last one where I mentioned a run in with a girly cyclist.

Holy cow - that one had a bloody Star Wars link as well. :shock:

What the hell?

AND a bloody joke quote..... :shock: :shock:

Right that's it. I'm never posting here again. I'm going over to the MTB section and ask if 28c tyres are too wide. It'll be less weird that's for sure.

itboffin

Your perverted use of CX means your an outcast everywhere now especially in the MTB but they know deep down the CX are waaaaay better than MTB's an skin tight lycra beats baggys and body armour any day.

FACT

true dat

Drfabulous0

Star Wars link

Kieran_Burns

Remember this?

Well - great ending to it. I was cycling in this morning and could see a very brightly lit bike up ahead and it turned out to the student girl.

Now running with two very bright rear lights, one of which is the Cateye LD610 in full cylon mode. Those lights are properly bright!

veronese68

Yet you still don't post a picture. Major fail as some yoof might say. :roll:

DonDaddyD

Actually the yoof would say 'epic fail'.

Also, I don't believe him, the really attractive cycling girlies don't come out until late March, early April. FACT.