Really Irritating Noises

meanredspider

For some reason I find the tonk-tonk-tonk of someone stirring a mug of coffee really gets my goat. Funnily enough, a china tea cup is nowhere near as irritating nor is the noise of a spoon on a creal bowl.

A (late) colleague of mine said that the sound of someone eating a bag of crisps gave him murderous thoughts.

Anybody got any other noises that they find (irrationally) irritating?

rubertoe

A colleague of mine has really annoying tone on her phone when she receives an e-mail or text; "normal" people in an open plan office turn their phones on to silent.

Not this woman. It drives me mental.

mudcow007

i had a weird annoying noise this morning on the way in on what sounded like the rear of my bike

i checked everything - or so i thought

just been into my cupboard where i store my ride an noticed the back tyre has become unseated from the rim an has a huge egg. it must have been scraping on my mudguard ...eek!

davis

rubertoe wrote:

A colleague of mine has really annoying tone on her phone when she receives an e-mail or text; "normal" people in an open plan office turn their phones on to silent.

Not this woman. It drives me mental.

The all-time best technique I've ever heard of for dealing with that was to pick up the annoying phone as soon as it beeped, and through sleight-of-hand drop another (dead) phone into a glass of water in front of the berk. Course it works best if they're both the same model of phone. Of course, if they annoy you that much I suppose you don't need to switch the phones..

Hip Priest

My mudguards rattling, rubbing, buzzing...etc

the_fuggler

My 13 month old son grinding his teeth together.... sends shivers down my spine!

iPete

rubertoe wrote:

A colleague of mine has really annoying tone on her phone when she receives an e-mail or text; "normal" people in an open plan office turn their phones on to silent.

Not this woman. It drives me mental.

Do you work with my housemate?

The world doesn't need to know you got a freaking text!!"!!!

Keith47

The sound of a ball being bounced. Drives me insane. Have no idea why :?

notsoblue

My sisters singing Disney songs in Dutch. They're both around 30. Its time to stop.

rubertoe

iPete wrote:

rubertoe wrote:

A colleague of mine has really annoying tone on her phone when she receives an e-mail or text; "normal" people in an open plan office turn their phones on to silent.

Not this woman. It drives me mental.

Do you work with my housemate?

The world doesn't need to know you got a freaking text!!"!!!

Another favourite of hers is having conversations on speakerphone...

memsley89

Keypad tones...
I have a colleague that complains that his phone makes a noise every time he touches it,
even though we've all shown him how to switch them off,
it's still all 'beep, beep, beep, beep'

I swear he enjoys it.

Hip Priest

The sound of a helmet cammer screeching out a registration number.

walkingbootweather

The noise the flag makes as it goes up and down the flagpole at Belfast City Hall seems to really irritate quite a lot of people :?

Wallace1492

walkingbootweather wrote:

The noise the flag makes as it goes down the flagpole at Belfast City Hall seems to really irritate quite a lot of people :?

FTFY

walkingbootweather

Wallace1492 wrote:

walkingbootweather wrote:

The noise the flag makes as it goes down the flagpole at Belfast City Hall seems to really irritate quite a lot of people :?

FTFY

No it's quite bizarre - one set of people seem to get irritated as it comes down, and a quite different set seem to get irritated as it goes up.

davis

We've got a microwave oven at work that goes ping when it's finished. Fine, I 'spose. It also goes ping every minute thereafter until you open the door, just in case you've forgotten something inside.

Look, you're only a tossing microwave oven, no-one on the planet has ever cooked anything nice in one, so there's no bastard need to sit there beeping away like someone's just about to overcook their fondant ffs. You make stuff warmer. Do that, then shut the fcuk up, you tedious self-important box o' shite.

Wallace1492

Oops double post....... dam Laptop.......

tetley10

Keith47 wrote:

The sound of a ball being bounced. Drives me insane. Have no idea why :?

One of my favourite noises, basketball, football, golf ball any of em.

walkingbootweather

The bell signifying Last Orders, just as you are settling into a really good session.

tgotb

davis wrote:

We've got a microwave oven at work that goes ping when it's finished. Fine, I 'spose. It also goes ping every minute thereafter until you open the door, just in case you've forgotten something inside.

Look, you're only a tossing microwave oven, no-one on the planet has ever cooked anything nice in one, so there's no bastard need to sit there beeping away like someone's just about to overcook their fondant ffs. You make stuff warmer. Do that, then shut the fcuk up, you tedious self-important box o' shite.

I would like this; I regularly used to open the microwave door to find a bowl of peas I'd microwaved days ago and then forgotten about...

meanredspider

davis wrote:

Do that, then shut the fcuk up, you tedious self-important box o' shite.

It's dishwashers that do the same that are even more irritating.

After owning both an AEG microwave and an AEG dishwasher - both of which burst into flames - I can only assume the pinging is to let you know that you can quickly switch them off at the wall to minimise the risk of turning you, your family and your house to carbon... :roll:

tgotb

meanredspider wrote:

davis wrote:

Do that, then shut the fcuk up, you tedious self-important box o' shite.

It's dishwashers that do the same that are even more irritating.

After owning both an AEG microwave and an AEG dishwasher - both of which burst into flames - I can only assume the pinging is to let you know that you can quickly switch them off at the wall to minimise the risk of turning you, your family and your house to carbon... :roll:

That'd be bad; carbon is apparently water-soluble...

vermin

Ed Milliband

Kieran_Burns

Those wet, horking, slobbering and ridiculously extended nose clearing sneezes into a handkerchief.

and then they look.

OneForTheRoad

My Ex...

cornerblock

That sound that pigeons make, brrr brr.

Florence and that bloody machine @ Latitude.

Canned laughter

'Unexpected item in the baggage area'

Yappy little dogs.

walkingbootweather

Mind the gap.....

CiB

Our washing machine - it bleeps a few times to say it's done thanks can you empty me now. Normal response is to ignore it - washing can wait, it'll still be damp in an hour even if it's hung up now; it can wait. And then every few seconds for the next 20 minutes you sit through QI or Desert Island Discs with this incessant beep beep come and empty me now beep beep beep come on now going on. I thought toddlers were bad.


The beeping sound that my car makes when I drive off without putting the seatbelt on, that then reduces the radio volume to 3 (inaudible) beyond 25mph. Alright car. I'll do it. In a minute. When I'm ready.


Chris Evans.

davis

TGOTB wrote:

davis wrote:

We've got a microwave oven at work that goes ping when it's finished. Fine, I 'spose. It also goes ping every minute thereafter until you open the door, just in case you've forgotten something inside.

Look, you're only a tossing microwave oven, no-one on the planet has ever cooked anything nice in one, so there's no bastard need to sit there beeping away like someone's just about to overcook their fondant ffs. You make stuff warmer. Do that, then shut the fcuk up, you tedious self-important box o' shite.

I would like this; I regularly used to open the microwave door to find a bowl of peas I'd microwaved days ago and then forgotten about...

Swap? I'll work out postage....

tetley10

The kn@b who does the voice over on come dine with me. Helmet.

First.Aspect

(1) People who sneeze with their voice. Its not necessary to say "Ah-Choo" when sneezing, really it isn't.

(2) People who yawn using their voice. Usually the same people.