The whore on Britains roads

gtvlusso
gtvlusso Posts: 5,112
edited December 2012 in Commuting chat
I had a friend who reckons that the only way he could navigate his way home, when blind drunk, was by knowing which 'laydee's' stood on which corners at night......

:shock:

*Awaits ban.....

:roll:
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Comments

  • Kieran_Burns
    Kieran_Burns Posts: 9,757
    gtvlusso wrote:
    I had a friend who reckons that the only way he could navigate his way home, when blind drunk, was by knowing which 'laydee's' stood on which corners at night......

    :shock:

    *Awaits ban.....

    :roll:

    Scratch and sniff navigation?
    Chunky Cyclists need your love too! :-)
    2009 Specialized Tricross Sport
    2011 Trek Madone 4.5
    2012 Felt F65X
    Proud CX Pervert and quiet roadie. 12 mile commuter
  • gtvlusso
    gtvlusso Posts: 5,112
    Kieran_Burns wrote:
    gtvlusso wrote:
    I had a friend who reckons that the only way he could navigate his way home, when blind drunk, was by knowing which 'laydee's' stood on which corners at night......

    :shock:

    *Awaits ban.....

    :roll:

    Scratch and sniff navigation?

    You're banned too!

    :lol::lol:
  • msmancunia
    msmancunia Posts: 1,415
    They hang around the driving test centre in Cheetham Hill during the day and always used to wave at me when I was practicing my three point turns and stuff.

    The day they saw me being driven back by my instructor (they could tell from this thatI'd passed my test) the lovely ladies all gave me a round of applause and the thumbs up :-)
    Commute: Chadderton - Sportcity
  • walkingbootweather
    walkingbootweather Posts: 2,443
    msmancunia wrote:
    the lovely ladies all gave me a round of applause and the thumbs up :-)

    Yeah, they gave me the clap too. :shock:
    Nobody told me we had a communication problem
  • meanredspider
    meanredspider Posts: 12,337
    I think they use the same principle up here. Only it's the sheep they use.... :wink::wink:
    ROAD < Scott Foil HMX Di2, Volagi Liscio Di2, Jamis Renegade Elite Di2, Cube Reaction Race > ROUGH
  • gtvlusso
    gtvlusso Posts: 5,112
    msmancunia wrote:
    They hang around the driving test centre in Cheetham Hill during the day and always used to wave at me when I was practicing my three point turns and stuff.

    The day they saw me being driven back by my instructor (they could tell from this thatI'd passed my test) the lovely ladies all gave me a round of applause and the thumbs up :-)

    Do not tell DDD about 'thumbs up'......it will be carnage on this thread...carnage.
  • msmancunia
    msmancunia Posts: 1,415
    Good point. Staying well away from that one.

    Quite entertaining to watch, mind.
    Commute: Chadderton - Sportcity
  • kelsen
    kelsen Posts: 2,003
    msmancunia wrote:
    They hang around the driving test centre in Cheetham Hill during the day and always used to wave at me when I was practicing my three point turns and stuff.

    The day they saw me being driven back by my instructor (they could tell from this thatI'd passed my test) the lovely ladies all gave me a round of applause and the thumbs up :-)
    Are you sure it's not because after months of plying their trade there, they were applauding because they thought one of the instructors finally bit?

    :wink: (runs and hide)
  • msmancunia
    msmancunia Posts: 1,415
    Well. On account of my overprotective irish catholic father, being totally paranoid that a male driving instructor would start feeling me up, I had a woman instructor. She was on first name terms with half of them because she saw them several times a day....
    Commute: Chadderton - Sportcity
  • kelsen
    kelsen Posts: 2,003
    msmancunia wrote:
    I had a woman instructor. She was on first name terms with half of them because she saw them several times a day....
    Oh she did, did she?! :wink:
  • Kieran_Burns
    Kieran_Burns Posts: 9,757
    msmancunia wrote:
    Well. On account of my overprotective irish catholic father, being totally paranoid that a male driving instructor would start feeling me up, I had a woman instructor. She was on first name terms with half of them because she saw them several times a day....

    When you say saw......
    Chunky Cyclists need your love too! :-)
    2009 Specialized Tricross Sport
    2011 Trek Madone 4.5
    2012 Felt F65X
    Proud CX Pervert and quiet roadie. 12 mile commuter
  • gtvlusso
    gtvlusso Posts: 5,112
    msmancunia wrote:
    Well. On account of my overprotective irish catholic father, being totally paranoid that a male driving instructor would start feeling me up, I had a woman instructor. She was on first name terms with half of them because she saw them several times a day....

    Open minded bunch....
  • veronese68
    veronese68 Posts: 27,894
    msmancunia wrote:
    Good point. Staying well away from that one.

    Quite entertaining to watch, mind.
    Coward
    Kinesis Pro6
    Marin Nail Trail
    Cotic Solaris
  • cornerblock
    cornerblock Posts: 3,228
    msmancunia wrote:
    I had a woman instructor. She was on first name terms with half of them because she saw them several times a day....


    Well the driving instructor and the ladies do have a lot in common. They both jump into the passenger seat, you drive them both round for a bit, then pull over somewhere not too busy to practice some manoeuvres with them, feel relieved when it's all over and then pay them for their services.

    I'd imagine! :oops:
  • walkingbootweather
    walkingbootweather Posts: 2,443
    Cornerblock wrote:
    msmancunia wrote:
    I had a woman instructor. She was on first name terms with half of them because she saw them several times a day....


    Well the driving instructor and the ladies do have a lot in common. They both jump into the passenger seat, you drive them both round for a bit, then pull over somewhere not too busy to practice some manoeuvres with them, feel relieved when it's all over and then pay them for their services.

    I'd imagine! :oops:

    Then wait nervously for the test results .......

    .....I'd imagine
    Nobody told me we had a communication problem
  • msmancunia
    msmancunia Posts: 1,415
    Veronese68 wrote:
    msmancunia wrote:
    Good point. Staying well away from that one.

    Quite entertaining to watch, mind.
    Coward

    Ha! I've never been to RP, never ridden in a chain gang, and don't really have anything constructive to add, other than "now now boys, calm down". And given that I kind of caused the GirlsIn-gate, I can't really get away with that either as I'll just get all bolshy! So I'm staying quiet on that one - don't want to make them worse.
    Commute: Chadderton - Sportcity
  • kelsen
    kelsen Posts: 2,003
    Cornerblock wrote:
    msmancunia wrote:
    I had a woman instructor. She was on first name terms with half of them because she saw them several times a day....


    Well the driving instructor and the ladies do have a lot in common. They both jump into the passenger seat, you drive them both round for a bit, then pull over somewhere not too busy to practice some manoeuvres with them, feel relieved when it's all over and then pay them for their services.

    I'd imagine! :oops:
    Then you pay to take a test and pray for a good result
  • msmancunia
    msmancunia Posts: 1,415
    Very clever :D *applauds*
    Commute: Chadderton - Sportcity
  • tgotb
    tgotb Posts: 4,714
    I hear that in some parts of the world it's much easier to get a positive test result...
    Pannier, 120rpm.
  • Kieran_Burns
    Kieran_Burns Posts: 9,757
    msmancunia wrote:
    Very clever :D *applauds*

    not to mention what happens during: starting with an oral, slapping the dashboard to stop immediately, pulling out, "show me, tell me" (the mind boggles!!) reversing.

    It's sick, sick I tell you.
    Chunky Cyclists need your love too! :-)
    2009 Specialized Tricross Sport
    2011 Trek Madone 4.5
    2012 Felt F65X
    Proud CX Pervert and quiet roadie. 12 mile commuter
  • msmancunia
    msmancunia Posts: 1,415
    Kieran_Burns wrote:
    msmancunia wrote:
    Very clever :D *applauds*

    not to mention what happens during: starting with an oral, slapping the dashboard to stop immediately, pulling out, "show me, tell me" (the mind boggles!!) reversing.

    It's sick, sick I tell you.

    So how long have you been a driving instructor, Kieran? :wink:
    Commute: Chadderton - Sportcity
  • walkingbootweather
    walkingbootweather Posts: 2,443
    TGOTB wrote:
    I hear that in some parts of the world it's much easier to get a positive test result...

    and I believe the most common reasons for failure are:

    1. Incorrect Positioning
    2. Inappropriate speed
    3. Lack of control
    Nobody told me we had a communication problem
  • kelsen
    kelsen Posts: 2,003
    TGOTB wrote:
    I hear that in some parts of the world it's much easier to get a positive test result...
    Apparently in Egypt you just have to move back and forth
  • gtvlusso
    gtvlusso Posts: 5,112
    I also think they assess you for making progress....

    :shock:
  • cornerblock
    cornerblock Posts: 3,228
    kelsen wrote:
    TGOTB wrote:
    I hear that in some parts of the world it's much easier to get a positive test result...
    Apparently in Egypt you just have to move back and forth

    Way-oh-way-oh-way-ooo-aaa-ooo...drive like an Egyptian.
  • kelsen
    kelsen Posts: 2,003
    I failed my test once for pulling out prematurely...
  • gtvlusso
    gtvlusso Posts: 5,112
    I passed my test first time, I had to ask the female examiner not to lean against the door of my 2CV though.......
  • walkingbootweather
    walkingbootweather Posts: 2,443
    My instructor told me that I was always in the wrong gear. Personally I could see nothing wrong with leather shorts and cap.
    Nobody told me we had a communication problem
  • cornerblock
    cornerblock Posts: 3,228
    walkingbootweather wrote:
    My instructor told me that I was always in the wrong gear. Personally I could see nothing wrong with leather shorts and cap.

    You wasn't with BS&M then?
  • msmancunia
    msmancunia Posts: 1,415
    How can this thread have got to two pages without anyone mentioning the "going the wrong way up a back entry" type innuendo?? Disappointing, guys - think you're losing your touch!
    Commute: Chadderton - Sportcity

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