Making Babies and inducing labour a special way

Kieran_Burns

So, one of the girls at work is HUGELY pregnant. So much so that she can point to things with her belly button and I'm trying to convince her to fake premature labour to scare the sh*t out of everyone in the office.

Aaaaanyway - apparently at her ante-natal class the woman taking the course explained that good way to induce labour is to give the bloke a blow job. Something to do with the hormones released during the act, like that's important.

This information was met with joy and mutual high-fives by all the men and "Yeah right, in your dreams pal." looks off all the women.

Any expectant Fathers like to test this theory?

UndercoverElephant

I don't think the method of application is all that important.

greg66_tri_v2.0

Kieran_Burns wrote:

Any expectant Fathers like to test this theory?

I am sure many would like to test it.

The apposite question is who can.

mudcow007

there are loads of things that can supposedly bring on labour a few are blow jobs an even green tea..so im told

i got all excited an told this to my mrs, her response was "have a wink* in a mug of tea then"

*i = a

meanredspider

There's a Michael McIntyre sketch on this whole topic as both curry & full-on sex are supposed to induce labour.

(I think the addition of a curry has rather given away the fact that men put these "facts" "out there" )

meanredspider

Sex & Curry

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-5kzVwwLMTM

Kieran_Burns

Apparently there's also a great method of massage that involves the thumb and the perineum.

The thumb is used as a locator.....

CiB

Bouncing her down a country lane in a Series II Land Rover worked for #2. It was something we could both enjoy.

estampida

old school advise to get the baby on way was

hot curry, hot bath and hot sex

and at that stage anal is a defo.....

DonDaddyD

This thread really is about what the title suggets it is about. Impressive.

I had to look twice at the title, even then when I opened the thread I thought where's this going to go, probably another helmet debate [I'll get my coat]. Yet, it really is about this.

So who wants to admit that their wife gives them a shinners... tee hee hee.... school boy fun.

ANYWAY, according to the midwife who did a S&S (stretch and sweep) on Ms DDD when she was late with DDDjr there is an enzyme in semen that can bring on labour. This is why sex is recommended.

supersonic

Prostaglandins. I think.

DonDaddyD

estampida wrote:

and at that stage anal is a defo.....

As for curry, no women should give birth with curry in the belly.

PBo

DonDaddyD wrote:

This thread really is about what the title suggets it is about. Impressive.

depends, if you are referring to the original title or not. the original title was deffo a biology fail.

[science teacher] you can't make babies by fellating your partner - even if you swallow, the digestive system and the reproductive system are not interconnected!! [/science teacher]

merkin

I heard that hot curry and sex are recommended for bringing on labour. Thought it made sense, as if someone started pushing THAT through my letterbox I would soon decide to leave my house.
Mind you, Mrs Merkin wasn't best pleased when I started spooning a madras into her lady pod, said it burnt her wet bits. Maybe try a korma?

redvee

CiB wrote:

Bouncing her down a country lane in a Series II Land Rover worked for #2. It was something we could both enjoy.

Was that the conception or birth or both?

SimonAH

I really hope that a BJ is the answer as there is no way I am shagging the burping whalebeast that my wife has morphed into. They don't tell you in prenatal class about budgeting for prostitutes, oh no, I can tell you that.

Cribs and mobiles be damned, by the time I pay off the whore bill junior will be in college, and that's just another bloody expense.

the_fuggler

Nothing got Fugglet Mk1 moving. He wasn't going anywhere for anyone at any time.

iclestu

DonDaddyD wrote:

ANYWAY, according to the midwife who did a S&S (stretch and sweep) on Ms DDD when she was late with DDDjr there is an enzyme in semen that can bring on labour. This is why sex is recommended.

hmmm - interesting.

So this thoery has foundation in science.

So, this enzyme.....

Its best taken orally, yes?

rick_chasey

iclestu wrote:

DonDaddyD wrote:

ANYWAY, according to the midwife who did a S&S (stretch and sweep) on Ms DDD when she was late with DDDjr there is an enzyme in semen that can bring on labour. This is why sex is recommended.

hmmm - interesting.

So this thoery has foundation in science.

So, this enzyme.....

Its best taken orally, yes?

So you're f*cking not only with your child in the same room, but you're aiming your c*ck toward them and jizzing too?

Totally not cool man.

peat

SimonAH wrote:

........the burping whalebeast that my wife has morphed into.

I think the term the ladies like to be used is 'glowing'?

Kieran_Burns

...wonders how much trouble he would get into by introducing using the word 'fellatio' in the title.

Maybe change it to: Done any fellating recently?

BigLee1

I used to enjoy knocking one into my ex when she was up the duff she had to be on top or from behind! From what I remember we were having it until very soon before she dropped

DonDaddyD

BigLee1 wrote:

I used to enjoy knocking one into my ex when she was up the duff she had to be on top or from behind! From what I remember we were having it until very soon before she dropped

Urgh!

Could you not feel the baby move. All kinds of wrong, all kinds!

So you're f*cking not only with your child in the same room, but you're aiming your c*ck toward them and jizzing too?

Totally not cool man.

Brings a new meaning to the word dickhead.

DonDaddyD

SimonAH wrote:

I really hope that a BJ is the answer as there is no way I am shagging the burping whalebeast that my wife has morphed into. They don't tell you in prenatal class about budgeting for prostitutes, oh no, I can tell you that.

Cribs and mobiles be damned, by the time I pay off the whore bill junior will be in college, and that's just another bloody expense.

:shock:

BigLee1

DonDaddyD wrote:

BigLee1 wrote:

I used to enjoy knocking one into my ex when she was up the duff she had to be on top or from behind! From what I remember we were having it until very soon before she dropped

Urgh!

Could you not feel the baby move. All kinds of wrong, all kinds!

nope, not at all! enjoyed a bit of boob leakage as well!! They were great to play with lol!!

andyb78

DonDaddyD wrote:

SimonAH wrote:

I really hope that a BJ is the answer as there is no way I am shagging the burping whalebeast that my wife has morphed into. They don't tell you in prenatal class about budgeting for prostitutes, oh no, I can tell you that.

Cribs and mobiles be damned, by the time I pay off the whore bill junior will be in college, and that's just another bloody expense.

:shock:

Funnily enough, Simon's post has made me laugh more than anything for a while. That may be due to giving up smoking though.

t4tomo

Rick Chasey wrote:

iclestu wrote:

DonDaddyD wrote:

ANYWAY, according to the midwife who did a S&S (stretch and sweep) on Ms DDD when she was late with DDDjr there is an enzyme in semen that can bring on labour. This is why sex is recommended.

hmmm - interesting.

So this thoery has foundation in science.

So, this enzyme.....

Its best taken orally, yes?

So you're f*cking not only with your child in the same room, but you're aiming your c*ck toward them and jizzing too?

Totally not cool man.

you need a biology lesson young man.

I get the enzyme thing, and have proved it in theory too, cant see how the BJ would work though, to use pain killing analogy, its more germolene than nurofen.

DonDaddyD

andyb78 wrote:

DonDaddyD wrote:

SimonAH wrote:

I really hope that a BJ is the answer as there is no way I am shagging the burping whalebeast that my wife has morphed into. They don't tell you in prenatal class about budgeting for prostitutes, oh no, I can tell you that.

Cribs and mobiles be damned, by the time I pay off the whore bill junior will be in college, and that's just another bloody expense.

:shock:

Funnily enough, Simon's post has made me laugh more than anything for a while. That may be due to giving up smoking though.

What has smoking got to do with it....?

pangolin

DonDaddyD wrote:

andyb78 wrote:

DonDaddyD wrote:

SimonAH wrote:

I really hope that a BJ is the answer as there is no way I am shagging the burping whalebeast that my wife has morphed into. They don't tell you in prenatal class about budgeting for prostitutes, oh no, I can tell you that.

Cribs and mobiles be damned, by the time I pay off the whore bill junior will be in college, and that's just another bloody expense.

:shock:

Funnily enough, Simon's post has made me laugh more than anything for a while. That may be due to giving up smoking though.

What has smoking got to do with it....?

He's saying he hasn't had much of a sense of humour recently, but this made him laugh.

UndercoverElephant

I can't understand the reluctance to be with a pregnant missus. The purest distillation of womanhood you could ever find. Thoroughly gorgeous and very sexy IMO.

DonDaddyD

^^Someone flicks to the preggers pages when he reads Razzle^^

Like cars entering the ASL. It is not for me.