What not to do if you murder someone

Gizmodo

Further to http://www.bikeradar.com/forums/viewtopic.php?f=30005&t=12871673#p17802573

If you happen to murder some one (allegedly), what should you not go and do. I'll kick off with:

1. Do a TV interview saying how shocked you are
2. Hide the body in your own house

What else?

nevman

Tell a single living soul.


(Layer Cake-good tip)

mingmong

3. Look a bit shifty. And enter a 'not guilty' plea. Allegedly.

shockedsoshocked

Have parents who were at best cousins, at worst siblings?

cornerblock

This......

CrunchyToes

aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

CiB

Avoid being stopped for a trivial motoring offence with either the murder weapon about your person (Sutcliffe, P), or for a real red-handed nab, with the body wrapped in a blanket in the boot.

Smokin Joe

Don't cut their head off and have it dangling from your mirror as a souvenir.

usedtobefast

Carry on living with the Grandmother (is this a bit too soon for this one)

capt_slog

Live in a house without a roof space

Three frigging searches and her body was in the loft all the time :shock: think the doggies need some of these.....

izza

Wait in a cul de sac when trying to escape from the law (Crippen)

nevman

Try to register for BT WiFi-OK the murder bit hasnt happened,yet.

OffTheBackAdam

nevman wrote:

Try to register for BT WiFi-OK the murder bit hasnt happened,yet.

I know where you're coming from! :evil:

vitesse169

Capt Slog wrote:

Live in a house without a roof space

Three frigging searches and her body was in the loft all the time :shock: think the doggies need some of these.....

...or, perhaps, the body (parts) were moved a number of times after each visit by the Police.... leaving traces all over the place - where the poor victim was leaving traces all over the place when she was alive anyway.... perhaps.

zanelad

Have you car tyres changed when there's nothing wrong with them to get rid of any traces of mud from where you've dumped the bodies. A la Ian Huntley.

CambsNewbie

vitesse169 wrote:

Capt Slog wrote:

Live in a house without a roof space

Three frigging searches and her body was in the loft all the time :shock: think the doggies need some of these.....

...or, perhaps, the body (parts) were moved a number of times after each visit by the Police.... leaving traces all over the place - where the poor victim was leaving traces all over the place when she was alive anyway.... perhaps.

Exactly.. If the girl was going there when alive she would have left scent all over the place. And the body can easily be put into small bags even without cutting it up. Remember how small a bag that MI5 officer was found in? And it could easily have been moved around..

HoHoHoBlueGiant

Wear a t-shirt with the victims picture on it and the words 'MISSING'

cornerblock

Start a thread on a cycling forum looking for tips and call it What not to do if you murder someone? :shock:

Gizmodo

Cornerblock wrote:

Start a thread on a cycling forum looking for tips and call it What not to do if you murder someone? :shock:

Busted :oops:

cornerblock

Gizmodo wrote:

Cornerblock wrote:

Start a thread on a cycling forum looking for tips and call it What not to do if you murder someone? :shock:

Busted :oops:

Can't believe I didn't see it earlier, you so nearly got away with it.

Smokin Joe

Capt Slog wrote:

Live in a house without a roof space

Three frigging searches and her body was in the loft all the time :shock: think the doggies need some of these.....

Of course whenever a teenager goes missing the police always pull up the floorboards, knock down party walls and rip every box and bag in the house open when they come to call. Goes down a bundle with the family, especially in the 99.9% of cases when the missing sprog strolls in through the door a day or two later.

jejv

izza wrote:

Wait in a cul de sac when trying to escape from the law (Crippen)

Umm, but Crippen woz innocent.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hawley_Har ... he_verdict

More in the spirit, don't be Irish. Or Iranian, or Palestinian. Just don't be a wog.
Or a loser. Or poor. Or super rich. Or suspiciously boring.

dmclite-3.0

jejv wrote:

izza wrote:

Wait in a cul de sac when trying to escape from the law (Crippen)

Umm, but Crippen woz innocent.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hawley_Har ... he_verdict

More in the spirit, don't be Irish. Or Iranian, or Palestinian. Just don't be a wog.
Or a loser. Or poor. Or super rich. Or suspiciously boring.

Are you kidding ?

jejv

dmclite-3.0 wrote:

jejv wrote:

izza wrote:

Wait in a cul de sac when trying to escape from the law (Crippen)

Umm, but Crippen woz innocent.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hawley_Har ... he_verdict

More in the spirit, don't be Irish. Or Iranian, or Palestinian. Just don't be a wog.
Or a loser. Or poor. Or super rich. Or suspiciously boring.

Are you kidding ?

Certainly not.

I'm trying to make the rather serious point that because it looks bad, it doesn't mean that a particular individual is guilty. Maybe they are. But unless you just fancy lynching a random scapegoat, it may be a good idea to listen rather carefully to the evidence first.

Chris Jefferies ?
Guildford Four ?

TheEnglishman

Hide in the bed the body's lying on

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-london-19292820

Ewwwwww!!

Yossie

Wear their skin and clothes.

dylanfernley

Yossie wrote:

Wear their skin and clothes.

Who was the serial killer that did that--- skinned his victims and wore bits of it ?

The belgian film 'The Ordeal ' -- comes with a 20 minute short film by the same director, very funny, a womans attempt to live with a corpse

nevman

dylanfernley wrote:

Yossie wrote:

Wear their skin and clothes.

Who was the serial killer that did that--- skinned his victims and wore bits of it ?

The belgian film 'The Ordeal ' -- comes with a 20 minute short film by the same director, very funny, a womans attempt to live with a corpse

Sounds like a right laugh.Didnt a German woman take her dead husband in a wheelchair into the airport for a flight home,telling staff he was a bit tired.Ryanair would have charged for excess baggage.

dylanfernley

Its called 'A wonderful love' 1999- short film by Fabrice du Welz, check it out !!!


There was a woman who attempted to take her hubby back on a plane, all stiff like, but she was rumbled, i know a guy (poor sod has learning difficulties) whose elderly mum took him on a bus trip, unfortunatley she pegged it on the journey, he didn't know what to do, so he left her on the bus and made his way home, tragic

dylanfernley

Bad Boy Bubby, -- a great aussie film, where bubby kills his abusive parents with cling film, goes on the run and is taken in by a rock band, he becomes their lead singer, it even has a good ending !!!

Ben6899

izza wrote:

Wait in a cul de sac when trying to escape from the law (Crippen)

Crippen was caught on a ship, wasn't he?