Who would win in a fight?

finchy

I've been pondering this one for the best part of a week. Dracula has the strength of 20 men, whereas a chimpanzee has the strength of 6 men (apparently). So who would win? Obviously Dracula has superpowers but when he was attacked by Renfield in the asylum, it was only when he looked into his eyes that Renfield weakened. A team of chimpanzees would attack from different angles and he wouldn't be able to concentrate his powers on one of them. On the other hand, would the chimpanzees be able to co-ordinate their assault?

Peddle Up!

If the chimps pecked away at a typewriter for one third of an infinite time they would produce the manual of Chuck Norris Fighting Skills whereupon, ole Drac would be toast. :twisted:

pdstsp

Are you lot kidding?? Dracula's well hard and would be drinking chimp blood for many nights.

Anonymous

Good question, bloody good question. Gonna have to think about it.

Cleat Eastwood

dracula flies though - and can use radar

garryc

Come on, Monkeys would win it by a country mile.

Here's my proof:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dOl_Y1Ubz-I

pst88

3 chimpanzes are only as strong as 18 men, compared to dracula's 20. This is before the superpowers are even taken into account. Clearly dracula would win.

finchy

dmclite-2.0 wrote:

Good question, bloody good question. Gonna have to think about it.

Let us know your conclusions.

nevman

Im in the chimp camp on this one-Drac would have to turn into a bat while they were swinging through the branches-they would simply pull his wings off.

mudcow007

those chimps would own drac ass

they have super monkey poo throwing skills for starters

DesB3rd

Chimps can co-ordinate their assault; we’ve all seen them cooperatively hunting monkeys & then eating their brains. (Disturbing stuff - but a whole lot better than the immoral free for all of Bonobo society.)

Has anyone considered that Dracula can;
a.) Shift form; we see him as a bat & a large dog; what else can he do?
b.) Use weapons. Yes the chimps can throw stones & faeces but Dracula was a prolific Turk killer when he only had regular man-strength, we can assume he’s kept some pretty refined skills. What’s to hand in the scenario?

Monkeypump

Having given this a little thought, wouldn't a chimp turn into a vampire chimp once bitten?

If so, would they then switch allegiance and fight with Dracula?

jordan_217

Monkeypump wrote:

Having given this a little thought, wouldn't a chimp turn into a vampire chimp once bitten?

If so, would they then switch allegiance and fight with Dracula?

If Woolies was still open, that DVD would be straight in the bargain bins next to the checkouts, for £3.

Pross

pdstsp wrote:

Are you lot kidding?? Dracula's well hard and would be drinking chimp blood for many nights.

But the chimps could jump him in daylight - break into his house and open all the curtains then he'd be fooked!

CiB

Chimps every time; 3 against 1 so Vlad would have to be fighting on three fronts at once, not all in the same direction.

Plus which Dracula is a widely recognised metaphor from historical literature (surprised no-one spotted that tbh), whereas three chimps are for real. I've seen them at Twycross.

thecrofter

Bit of a slow Friday, workwise?

finchy

Pross wrote:

pdstsp wrote:

Are you lot kidding?? Dracula's well hard and would be drinking chimp blood for many nights.

But the chimps could jump him in daylight - break into his house and open all the curtains then he'd be fooked!

Dracula can survive in daylight, but loses all his powers, so he would get torn apart in that situation, rather than burnt to a cinder.

WheelieBad

Katie Taylor would take them all

Peddle Up!

There's chimps, and there's CHIMPS.

Cleat Eastwood

but dracula could just hide in his coffin - monkeys see it as just a box of bananas they cant open and leave it alone. Drac waits till dark and the munkays are asleep - bites one - who becomes one of the living dead - so its then 2 V 2. This isnt as clear cut as I first thought.

finchy

Cleat Eastwood wrote:

but dracula could just hide in his coffin - monkeys see it as just a box of bananas they cant open and leave it alone. Drac waits till dark and the munkays are asleep - bites one - who becomes one of the living dead - so its then 2 V 2. This isnt as clear cut as I first thought.

You don't become a vampire just like that. Dracula drains his victims over a matter of weeks. And probably the chimps' hair would put him off biting them.

Ben6899

For starters, one of the chimps would be too busy trying to mash a pot of tea and another would be distracted doing a facepalm.



That leaves the Count vs one chimp. P1ss-ball for the six-footer.

dw300

Cleat Eastwood wrote:

dracula flies though - and can use radar

Hmmm .. i think he might be able to use echo location. I'm not sure that back in his days in the Romanian armed forces that he ever got his radar operators certificate, although I could be wrong. Even so, I'm not sure how useful radar would be in tracking down 3 chimpanzees. Echo location on the other hand would probably offer him another advantage if fighting in the dark.

Anonymous

Can't dracula also shape-shift and call on wild animals (like Wolves) to help him in his nefariuos ways ? Chimps can't shape-shift but can get very over excited.

Is this a daylight fight, inside or nocturnal ?

Are there any time limits ?

Theres so many factors to consider I am struggling with this one, I even asked my domestique (wife) who she thought would win. She thought it was a ridiculous question and haven't I got anything better to think about. I agreed with her and talked to her what she wanted to talk about, but secretly I was thinking about Dracula fighting those chimps, heh heh, she''ll never know, 1-0 to me I think. :P

Cleat Eastwood

Also where does the fight take place - if dracula was in his castle the chimps would never get in. And....being hierarchical by nature all drac has to say is "that chimp thinks he;s better than you" cause some infighting and bobs your uncle - championship belt to the dark lord.

Also i've seen films of vampires and they are bad by nature - i've been the zoo a few times and have yet to see an angry chimp, even when I wear my cape and pointy teeth - they just don't care.

Anonymous

Plus, vampires have really sexy vampire chicks hanging round their cribs, so they wouldn't want to look all wimpy if they got a kicking off of 3 chimps in front of them. Mind you, Dracula is so baddass he might not care what his sexy vampire chicks think, they will put out for him, whatever.

Cleat, did you go to the Zoo at night, 'cos if you went as a vampire during the day they would have sussed you.

Also, I am thinking of buying "Lost Boys" on dvd to gen up on Vampire related research in a contemporary background as a pose to our rather stereotypical rendition of Vampire, Dracula in particular. "Interview with a Vampire" may also prove very useful from a historical up to modern time approach.

But still.........................3 chimps going mental is still a force to reckon with.

dw300

dmclite-2.0 wrote:

Cleat, did you go to the Zoo at night, 'cos if you went as a vampire during the day they would have sussed you.

Outsmarted by zoo animals?!

kentphil

both my son(aged six) and daughter (aged eight) said the chimpanzees would win :-)

Peddle Up!

Is this a straight out and out fight, or a multi-generational war stretching over centuries, or longer? Would the chimps have time to evolve?

proto

Would Kate Beckinsale be involved at all? Cus if she is then I want to be there when it all kicks off, just to watch, like, not get involved of course.

rick_chasey

A duck sized tiger, or a tiger sized duck?