Strava causing Relationship issues...

twist83

I feel I need to air this

Sunday morning myself and the other half decided to do a jaunt down to the Seaside. We took our usual route which is a 40 mile loop. On this loop there is a rather large climb (Winyards Gap - Drlex will know this one!!)

Anyway the other half has been QOM on this climb for some time. There are not many females that are on this segment but it was her QOM none the less. She discovered Sunday A.M that this had been taken from her and it was my job to help her claim it back. She noises she made when she discovered this horrible loss were on a par with losing the winning lottery ticket.

So we get to this hill and there is a fair old headwind so I tell her I will help drag her up the 'Col de Winyard' so off we set. I am mashing the pedals like a madman and she is sat behind me, she is not great at pacing herself so I keep picking the speed up (as best I could) she keeps shouting faster which I am trying to do.

We eventually reach the top and there is a good 1/2 mile flat stretch to the end of the segment. By this point I am obliterated so tell her she will have to overtake and go for it, which she does. She misses out on QOM by about 5 seconds and then procedes to get angry with me because I should have gone faster and could have give her a better lead out on the flat.....

I was gobsmacked and thought she was joking but no she didnt talk to me for the last 6 miles so I decided to assert my male Authoratahhhhh and blast off arriving at Destination a good 4 minutes before and make it look like I wasnt even trying when I was about to burst.

So a lesson here to all the people who think it would be nice for their Doris to be into cycling. It would be if not for Strava!!! Also N+1 becomes N+1 X 2

Someone has been watching too much TDF me thinks....

Kieran_Burns

Would this qualify as having a domestique argument?

twist83

I think it would! I told her she should pay me more

Next thing you know I will be carrying about 10 bottles down my cycling top.

phy2sll2

Kieran_Burns wrote:

Would this qualify as having a domestique argument?

Quality.

pastryboy

I had been strava-ing so hard that I fell asleep in the middle of living room floor face down for four hours the other day after getting in from work.

Wife didn't even notice.

twist83

haha Strava does cause a lot of suffering. I have introduced it to our Landlord/Neighbour and he comes back a complete wreck after work. Same for lots of people.

the_fuggler

Kieran_Burns wrote:

Would this qualify as having a domestique argument?

Brilliant!

gtvlusso

Not strava related, but my wife chucked her MTB down a cliff once....She got upset that she could not keep up with me on an off road track in Cornwall; result was her getting off and physically throwing the bike down the cliff...luckily, it was retrievable and still rideable.

Try the same route again at exactly the same time next month......just to be sure.

twist83

haha that trumps mine hands down. Throwing a bike down the cliff. She would never do that to her MTB she loves it more than me....

Dan_JR

Kieran_Burns wrote:

Would this qualify as having a domestique argument?

Buy this man a beer!

Whenever I ride with my wife we rarely arrive home on speaking terms.
I think cycling is just one of those activities....

D

prawny

Kieran_Burns wrote:

Would this qualify as having a domestique argument?

KB, I salute you. Cycling punnery of the highest order, have a medal.

dhope

Kieran_Burns wrote:

Would this qualify as having a domestique argument?

Yep, while the story was amusing that is top class punnery.

Kieran_Burns

I'm so proud.

twist83

I have to agree it was good. This can now officially be your thread. This should be entered into a cycle dictionary.

A domestique Argument - The act of arguing whilst enjoying a bike ride with a member of the opposite (Or same!!) sex with which you are having a more than a plutonic relationship.

DrLex

twist83 wrote:

[...]with which you are having a more than a plutonic relationship.

Use of which + Pluto = you calling my wife a dog?

Your main mistake was to put the hammer down after, therefore confirming that you were deliberately flagging at the final stage - bad Twisty! No cookie!

the_fuggler

This thread could only really get better by you revealing that you are, in fact, the QoM in question, having set up a rogue account under a female pseudonym to either beat Mrs Twist or encourage her to improve her segment times.

Good luck revealing that to her!

twist83

DrLex wrote:

twist83 wrote:

[...]with which you are having a more than a plutonic relationship.

Use of which + Pluto = you calling my wife a dog?

Your main mistake was to put the hammer down after, therefore confirming that you were deliberately flagging at the final stage - bad Twisty! No cookie!

I really need to check my spelling and grammar more often...

I have never seen her so cannot comment.

By that time I had recovered and due to my epic power output I am able to turn a much bigger cog on the flats than her. I was shafted by the time I got there but obviously did not want to show her this. I then did worry she maybe had been squashed by a car....

twist83

The Fuggler wrote:

This thread could only really get better by you revealing that you are, in fact, the QoM in question, having set up a rogue account under a female pseudonym to either beat Mrs Twist or encourage her to improve her segment times.

Good luck revealing that to her!

I value my man hood. If she sees this I am dead.....

Initialised

I have gone as far as installing it but haven't used it yet. I fear it might be lethal!