Silly Commuter Romance

Stag on

It's not often you see a young lady on 2 wheels in these parts but I was fortunate enough to pass a fine looking young filly on a BSO this morning. Up ahead I got stuck at a red light and we had a quick chat. Of course, being happily coupled with 'er indoors, the discussion was purely platonic but it got me thinking.

How many relationships get started on the commute? Bugger all around here, clearly but surely given the volumes of cyclists in lannndonn of both sexes there must be the odd romance being struck up at traffic lights here and there? Let's not descend into Cake Stop style mayhem but there must be the odd tale of the long path to marriage being started with a bit of SCR tete a tete?

Greg T

I've had relations with ITB - he uses various alter-egos obviously and has a wide and extensive dressing up box.

Stag on

Of course, I had not considered same sex relationships, my bad. For 'marriage', read 'civil partnership or appropriate union'.

Kieran_Burns

Stag on wrote:

Of course, I had not considered same sex relationships, my bad. For 'marriage', read 'civil partnership or appropriate union'.

So meaningless wild monkey sex is not included then?

Stag on

That too. Oh my , thoughts of tight lycra and bulging thighs......ich komme!

keyser__soze

Not sure how many have started on the commute but I know a few times they've almost been ended on it, no thanks to idiot drivers

MonkeyMonster

Kieran_Burns wrote:

Stag on wrote:

Of course, I had not considered same sex relationships, my bad. For 'marriage', read 'civil partnership or appropriate union'.

So meaningless wild monkey sex is not included then?

Oi!

jonny_trousers

I think you'd have to be the king of charm to impress a potential partner on the commute. Firstly you'll only really have the time it takes a red light to turn green to work your magic. Secondly, even if you are swathed head-to-toe in Rapha you will still look a bit of a pillock. And thirdly, what can you possibly offer as an opener? You come here often? Nice bike? Ooh, look at that prat RLJing? The best you can possibly hope for is she get's knocked off and then you can be her knight in shining armour as you accompany her to Casualty.

EKE_38BPM

I've often thought about this.
In a club you might show off your dancing skills to impress your target, but on a bike the best you can do is ride away from them as fast as possible to impress them, but then you are nowhere near them to follow up your impressiveness with some smooth patter.

If its someone you see regularly, that makes things much easier, but a woman's mind can see through a bloke's chat. e.g. A bloke saying "Its a bit chilly today" would be translated as "It looks like you're smuggling peanuts", "Its nice and warm today" translates to "Its great, you're not wearing much today" etc

In other words, I've never pulled on a bike.

mattcroad

Good thinking Jonny, you could push her off, then chat to her in the ambulance.

clarkey cat

somehow I don't think the sight of me rubber-necking to catch a sight of some fluff I've just overtaken while blowing out my backside, red-faced and covered in a fine film of sweat is ever going to result in romance.

notsoblue

Yeah, I'm not at my best in lycra.

EKE_38BPM

notsoblue wrote:

Yeah, I'm not at my best in lycra.

I don't know about that. Roger Merriman was eyeing you up I think.

Jay dubbleU

http://www.google.co.uk/imgres?q=last+o ... s:20,i:222

Twostage

Stag on wrote:

It's not often you see a young lady on 2 wheels in these parts...

Same here normally but on Thursday nearly every cyclist coming the other way was female. Must have seen 10 at least and the average is less than 1.
Is the bike shed counted as part of the commute ? You get more time to chat preparing to set off and you could take an alternative route home (even the wrong way) to extend the encounter.

plowmar

Sorry, do not understand this thread - 'stopped at traffic lights' no sorry does not compute. :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:

Jay dubbleU

plowmar wrote:

Sorry, do not understand this thread - 'stopped at traffic lights' no sorry does not compute. :twisted: :twisted: :twisted:

Ah - another mobile organ donor :twisted:

NGale

Didn't meet him on a commute, but met Jake at the cycling club we are both members. Just started out as general conversation to be honest. One of those things.

Initialised

Closest I got was watching some chavs continue the downward spiral of human evolution on a riverbank as I rode past.

But arriving hot and sweaty and jumping straight in the shower could could hide a multitude of sins. Just don't let the other half see your tracker app feeds!

DonDaddyD

Girls appear more attractive on bicycles: FACT.

I think it has something to do with association with loving your past time. It's like girls in fast cars if cars are your thing. Or that girl reading that comic in that comic shop (dressed up as a superhero/villain). Or any lady wearing the football shirt of the club you support.

All that said, I think a few have hooked up on here. I actually know a few that have. But out of respect for peoples privacy I won't be mentioning names.

I have however never seen 'love at the traffic lights' though. Usually it goes like:

1. Guy is sweaty, smelly or his lycra smells (girls hate that smell unless they're already bonded to the man, then it's an aphrodisiac - i.e. a girlfriend may dig the smell of an armpit a random girl, not so much). Alternatively the guy is panting at the lights and that doesn't imply great physical prowess/performance. All of which equates to rejection.

2. Girl is sweaty and/or thinks she is smelly (some guys like that smell regardless - just saying - and it doesn't matter if she is panting - just saying that as well) and therefore she feels uncomfortable and not willing to talk (Note: LiT brings spare kit anytime she goes to the Morpeth for this reason). This equates to any form of being chatted up resulting in the bloke being rejected.

3. If the girl or guy is not sweaty, smelly and/or panting then they are usually epic fast and too far above mere chit chat at the lights or the mortal need for "relations". They're probably thinking about hitting the next red zone. Best to leave those types alone...

rick_chasey

Pffft, what are you, a bunch of amateurs?

You're commuters - chances are you'll see them more than once.

Play the long game.

If you're chatting them up first time at the lights you are fail.

bigmat

Just picked up on this thread. Not much to see on my commutes. I once saw a cute girl in a Sky Kask helmet whose saddle bag was undone - I galantly pointed it out and zipped it up for her. I'm sure there was a moment, but for obvious reasons I didn't follow up. I also rode half a Sportive with one of the Halfords Boardman girls a few years back, but then lost her at a feed stop. So, there are opportunities, but few and far between.

Stag on

I must admit, the stench of my kit is quite overpowering, perhaps one of the few benefits of a strong headwind is that it clears it downrange thus permitting some traffic light shenanegans?

What are the forum's views on girls that are faster than you? I've never glimpsed a serious 'player' from the opposite sex on my route in, and thus, to put it bluntly, have never been scalped by a girl. However,the odd trip to the smoke has seen witness to many a lycra'd lady transiting at a pace which would leave me weeping into my protein shake.

DDD if what you say is true about liaisons on this board, are we far away from the first Silly Commuter Marriage??

UndercoverElephant

Got invited in by a young-lady I'd been chatting to on a commute last summer. I'm very married, though, so had to say no.

jonny_trousers

UndercoverElephant wrote:

Got invited in by a young-lady I'd been chatting to on a commute last summer. I'm very married, though, so had to say no.

Chapeau!

Anyone who smells sweaty on the commute, no matter how fast they have ridden it, either needs to take better care over how they wash themselves or needs to clean their kit more often. Fresh sweat doesn't smell.

I wouldn't dream of attempting to a chat a girl up on the commute, mainly because I'd only make a complete arse of myself on top of the fact that I am very happily betrothed, but the only attractive women cyclists I've ever seen on my route were pootling along on their uprights, in which case one would look like a total creep riding along at their pace in lycra. I once saw a blonde goddess of a woman in all the gear at that big bike shop by London Bridge, but I got the distinct impression most men who tried to ride at her pace would end up a sweaty, panting mess and would do themselves no favours in trying to work their magic as they wheezed for breath.

rick_chasey

Jonny_Trousers wrote:

UndercoverElephant wrote:

Got invited in by a young-lady I'd been chatting to on a commute last summer. I'm very married, though, so had to say no.

Chapeau!

Anyone who smells sweaty on the commute, no matter how fast they have ridden it, either needs to take better care over how they wash themselves or needs to clean their kit more often. Fresh sweat doesn't smell.

Oui.

jonny_trousers

Rick Chasey wrote:

Jonny_Trousers wrote:

UndercoverElephant wrote:

Got invited in by a young-lady I'd been chatting to on a commute last summer. I'm very married, though, so had to say no.

Chapeau!

Anyone who smells sweaty on the commute, no matter how fast they have ridden it, either needs to take better care over how they wash themselves or needs to clean their kit more often. Fresh sweat doesn't smell.

Oui.

Fresh oui, however...

clarkey cat

Every day I see a really lovely girl on Kingsway as I'm riding the opposite direction. She has a certain melancholy about her, but with girl-next-door looks. I'd love to one day just pull up and say "Hi, I watch you every day; I ride up here and look out for you and when I see you it lifts me, it lifts my spirits. You are beautiful." But it would probably freak her out.

gtvlusso

Chased a couple of young laydees around leigh Woods singletrack in Bristol last weekend....Quite enjoyable, aside that fact that I had gtv junior strapped to the handlebars and giggling away shouting 'more more bumps'....

Not really commuting or romance - more like 'Singletrack lust'

DonDaddyD

UndercoverElephant wrote:

Got invited in by a young-lady I'd been chatting to on a commute last summer. I'm very married, though, so had to say no.

In where?

Stag on wrote:

DDD if what you say is true about liaisons on this board, are we far away from the first Silly Commuter Marriage??

Don't know, can't say. I have never had an invite...

Jonny_Trousers wrote:

Anyone who smells sweaty on the commute, no matter how fast they have ridden it, either needs to take better care over how they wash themselves or needs to clean their kit more often. Fresh sweat doesn't smell.

Nonsense. Other peoples sweat (except Ms DDD's), no matter how fresh, is unpleasant to me.

jonny_trousers

DonDaddyD wrote:

Jonny_Trousers wrote:

Anyone who smells sweaty on the commute, no matter how fast they have ridden it, either needs to take better care over how they wash themselves or needs to clean their kit more often. Fresh sweat doesn't smell.

Nonsense. Other peoples sweat (except Ms DDD's), no matter how fresh, is unpleasant to me.

Nonsense, yourself, stinky boy! The non-existent scent of other people's fresh sweat doesn't bother me in the slightest. The smell of bacteria breaking down old sweat, however, can be rather unpleasant, but like I say, if people are suffering from that then they really ought to wash themselves and/or their clothes more often. In terms of sweating and pulling, it wouldn't surprise me at all if fresh sweat carries pheromones that could even make one more attractive to the opposite sex.

Funnily enough I saw a commuter using a line on an attractive girl in the ASL a couple of weeks ago. She was riding some very pretty polished chrome Italian thing and the guy said, "Nice bike" to her. It really didn't look like he was in any danger of getting his end away, however.