'Near misses' - do you tell your other half?

Mr Plum
Mr Plum Posts: 1,097
edited February 2012 in Commuting chat
Had quite a big one yesterday involving a taxi, first one I've had for a while, and I hesitated in telling the story to my girlfriend because I didn't want her to worry about me when I'm cycling any more than she already does. I generally play it down and often don't even mention 'incidents' to her for that exact reason. Does anyone else do this?
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  • MonkeyMonster
    MonkeyMonster Posts: 4,629
    Mr Plum wrote:
    Had quite a big one yesterday involving a taxi, first one I've had for a while, and I hesitated in telling the story to my girlfriend because I didn't want her to worry about me when I'm cycling any more than she already does. I generally play it down and often don't even mention 'incidents' to her for that exact reason. Does anyone else do this?

    this is what the forum is for, get it off the chest to sympathisers and then play it down to scaremongering other halfs who get unduly scared.
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  • EKE_38BPM
    EKE_38BPM Posts: 5,821
    I very rarely mention them. Nothing to gain and everything (by that I mean loss of peace and quiet due to nagging) to lose.
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  • veronese68
    veronese68 Posts: 27,895
    The less said the better.
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  • kelsen
    kelsen Posts: 2,003
    What happens in the forum stays in the forum
  • il_principe
    il_principe Posts: 9,155
    Nope, missus worries enough as it is. Actually had one this morning, sodding minicab pulling into a cycle lane, no indicators, nothing. I got very shouty.
  • Koncordski
    Koncordski Posts: 1,009
    Nope, never.
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  • clarkey cat
    clarkey cat Posts: 3,641
    You mean when you really need a poo, with stomach cramps and everything and you get the bog as you're touching cloth...?
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  • Redmog
    Redmog Posts: 50
    My current commute is 90% on quiet country lanes so incidents are few and far between :D I did have a lady with 4 leashed dogs step out infront of me - I managed to miss all the dogs so was able to tell Mrs Redmog :!: Close calls with automobiles - Never . . .
    My Pinarello Gallileo and Boardman CX.
  • andyrr
    andyrr Posts: 1,823
    I occasionally have this dilemma and probably many others do too :
    to a degree thinking whether to tell someone close to you that you had a close shave can make you think about how to prevent such an incident happening in future, or at least how to reduce the likelihood - not always possible but worth considering.
    There are the kind that are less avoidable - you round a bend to find a car driving towards you on the wrong side of the road - but there are the ones that have a greater predictability about them. I'd guess, and it is a very generalised thought, that a fair percentage of the close-misses are influenced by the rider having the vehicle passing too close to them when overtaking. If the driver thinks that they can get past you then, even if the space is not sufficient for them to execute a safe overtake, then sometimes they will. If you take action to try to prevent that happening then the overtakes are more likely to be done where it IS safe.
    I've gone OT a bit so back on-topic, I tend not to say anything about close-calls as, I agree that they are the ones that non-cyclists think as having the end-result of you not arriving home safely at the end of a cycle. If I have a stand-up argument I have then I might mention that but saying "and a truck passed me so close I could read the markings for his tyre pressures" do sound a bit worrying ! (and I DID have a truck pass me at around 30Mph one morning that I could have easily touched the side of, waay too close that one.)
  • bails87
    bails87 Posts: 12,998
    I'll sometimes tell her if something exceptional has happened, but not recount her with the half a dozen 'barely moved out' passes, or the SMIDSY that just resulted in a wave from the driver with no harm done.
    MTB/CX

    "As I said last time, it won't happen again."
  • Pufftmw
    Pufftmw Posts: 1,941
    Sometimes as she likes to hear about my journeys, SCR, Strava etc

    I'm sure she would prefer I didn't cycle but she realises its a "part of me" so accepts it.
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  • anonymousblackfg
    anonymousblackfg Posts: 2,029
    to the Dorris: I had a brief run in with chap in a van, all is fine
    to the forum: I got chased around Kingston by some twat in a van trying to swerve into me after I picked him up on him almost crushing me.
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  • DonDaddyD
    DonDaddyD Posts: 12,689
    Only if she is nagging me or if we are arguing or if I've done something wrong and she is telling me/having a go at me.

    Then I tell her to (i) shut up and (ii) give me some sympathy.
    Food Chain number = 4

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  • rjsterry
    rjsterry Posts: 29,903
    I seem to be unusual in that I tend to tell the other half. Granted, I don't elaborate too much - he was *this* close (holds thumb and forefinger up) - but I'm rubbish at being secretive, so it's easier to 'fess up.

    Mrs RJS is not in the least interested ion tales of Embankment derring-do. :(
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  • walkingbootweather
    walkingbootweather Posts: 2,443
    edited February 2012
    Well there was this time with Miss Jones - she got quite near on occassion.....


    ..... best not to tell the better half methinks.
    Nobody told me we had a communication problem
  • EKE_38BPM
    EKE_38BPM Posts: 5,821
    walkingbootweather wrote:
    Well there was this time with Miss Jones - she got quite near on occassion.....


    ..... best not to tell the half methinks.

    Ooh, Miss Jones!
    1.jpg
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  • rick_chasey
    rick_chasey Posts: 75,660
    Can't help it.

    I have a bit of an existential thing whereby if I can't talk about it, I wonder why I bother.

    So yes, I tell her everything.
    _
  • EKE_38BPM
    EKE_38BPM Posts: 5,821
    Rick Chasey wrote:
    Can't help it.

    I have a bit of an existential thing whereby if I can't talk about it, I wonder why I bother.

    So yes, I tell her everything.
    Considering you average almost 14 posts on here a day, I'm a bit surprised you have anything left to tell her!
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    FCN 9: B Twin Vitamin - winter commuter/loan bike for trainees

    I'm hungry. I'm always hungry!
  • rick_chasey
    rick_chasey Posts: 75,660
    EKE_38BPM wrote:
    Rick Chasey wrote:
    Can't help it.

    I have a bit of an existential thing whereby if I can't talk about it, I wonder why I bother.

    So yes, I tell her everything.
    Considering you average almost 14 posts on here a day, I'm a bit surprised you have anything left to tell her!
    Repetition my friend, repetition.

    I can tell the same story a million times to different people.
    _
  • king_jeffers
    king_jeffers Posts: 694
    Mr Plum wrote:
    'Near misses' - do you tell your other half?

    Yeah, she usually goes... oh... sorry, that was you?! :shock:
  • EKE_38BPM
    EKE_38BPM Posts: 5,821
    Rick Chasey wrote:
    EKE_38BPM wrote:
    Rick Chasey wrote:
    Can't help it.

    I have a bit of an existential thing whereby if I can't talk about it, I wonder why I bother.

    So yes, I tell her everything.
    Considering you average almost 14 posts on here a day, I'm a bit surprised you have anything left to tell her!
    Repetition my friend, repetition.

    I can tell the same story a million times to different people.
    Don't you get bored?

    I feel sorry for one hit wonders who spend the next 25+ years singing the same song again and again and when they try to introduce their new songs into their set, they get booed until they sing the hit. Hows that for a digression?
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  • daviesee
    daviesee Posts: 6,386
    I used to tell her everything.
    After my last altercation she was saying that she didn't want me to cycle anymore as she worries.
    That is not going to happen :!:
    Therefore I am not going to give her any reason to worry about in future.
    if it doesn't involve a hopital visit, she doesn't need to know.
    None of the above should be taken seriously, and certainly not personally.
  • EKE_38BPM
    EKE_38BPM Posts: 5,821
    daviesee wrote:
    if it doesn't involve a hopital visit, she doesn't need to know.

    +10000000
    I think that is the end of the thread right there!
    FCN 3: Raleigh Record Ace fixie-to be resurrected sometime in the future
    FCN 4: Planet X Schmaffenschmack 2- workhorse
    FCN 9: B Twin Vitamin - winter commuter/loan bike for trainees

    I'm hungry. I'm always hungry!
  • rick_chasey
    rick_chasey Posts: 75,660
    EKE_38BPM wrote:
    Rick Chasey wrote:
    EKE_38BPM wrote:
    Rick Chasey wrote:
    Can't help it.

    I have a bit of an existential thing whereby if I can't talk about it, I wonder why I bother.

    So yes, I tell her everything.
    Considering you average almost 14 posts on here a day, I'm a bit surprised you have anything left to tell her!
    Repetition my friend, repetition.

    I can tell the same story a million times to different people.
    Don't you get bored?

    I feel sorry for one hit wonders who spend the next 25+ years singing the same song again and again and when they try to introduce their new songs into their set, they get booed until they sing the hit. Hows that for a digression?

    Not really. I like the sound of my own voice.

    I can talk forever.
    _
  • Mr Plum
    Mr Plum Posts: 1,097
    EKE_38BPM wrote:
    daviesee wrote:
    if it doesn't involve a hopital visit, she doesn't need to know.

    +10000000
    I think that is the end of the thread right there!

    Nicely summed up.
    FCN 2 to 8
  • bigmat
    bigmat Posts: 5,134
    Mr Plum wrote:
    EKE_38BPM wrote:
    daviesee wrote:
    if it doesn't involve a hopital visit, she doesn't need to know.

    +10000000
    I think that is the end of the thread right there!

    Nicely summed up.

    Agreed. I might tell her if I've had an actual incident (rather than a near miss), but only when I'm out of hospital and can tell her in person and she can see I'm OK. At which point I'll play it down as much as possible!
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  • Initialised
    Initialised Posts: 3,047
    No, she only finds out about only the ones that leave marks or make me need picking up from A&E.
    I used to just ride my bike to work but now I find myself going out looking for bigger and bigger hills.
  • notsoblue
    notsoblue Posts: 5,756
    Constantly, makes me look all manly and brave.
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  • Jay dubbleU
    Jay dubbleU Posts: 3,159
    Never - she worries enough as it is
  • jonny_trousers
    jonny_trousers Posts: 3,588
    Not only near misses, but direct hits. Last time I got knocked off (partly my fault for riding too aggresively), what was actually a chav swinging a left without indicating, thus bringing me off and causing a bit of road rash and some ripped shorts, became me slipping over on some spilt deisel. No point in worrying her unnecesarily.

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