My daughter wants to have her ears pierced

SimonAH

On her eighth birthday.

I'm anti, but my wife is pro. Thoughts on age appropriate body modifications?

ToeKnee

SimonAH wrote:

... I'm anti, but my wife is pro ...

... and you think you have a say in the matter? Enjoy the discussion and complementing your daughter on her new ear-rings.

FWIW I think 8 is too young. Might be worth considering how her school will react; if she can't wear ear-rings to school then the holes will close up?

msmancunia

I wasn't allowed until I was 18 - I had overly strict parents though. I went away to uni and came back at the end of the first time with three in each ear and one in my nose....

Think the end of primary school is a good time, so aged 11, and just after she finishes, or maybe before their end of term party, if they have one - that way she can get used to them over the summer and let them heal, before starting big school as a big girl in the September. Bit of a rite of passage really - there were loads of girls who came to my school in the September with newly pierced ears.

t.m.h.n.e.t

Check with school first,some don't allow piercings. I waited until the summer hols then got my ear pierced many many years ago.

se-po

Next year she will ask for a tattoo.

lost_in_thought

I didn't have mine done until I was 16, but I desperately wanted them done before. In retrospect, I'm kind of a fan of my mum's having made me wait - made it a bit more special.

rolf_f

lost_in_thought wrote:

I didn't have mine done until I was 16, but I desperately wanted them done before. In retrospect, I'm kind of a fan of my mum's having made me wait - made it a bit more special.

Plus also the fact that the world would be a whole lot better a place if people were in general brought up to be prepared to wait for things. There is a whole mentality behind the concept of earning things and the thought that now is not always the right time that seems to have been largely lost in recent years.

lost_in_thought

Rolf F wrote:

lost_in_thought wrote:

I didn't have mine done until I was 16, but I desperately wanted them done before. In retrospect, I'm kind of a fan of my mum's having made me wait - made it a bit more special.

Plus also the fact that the world would be a whole lot better a place if people were in general brought up to be prepared to wait for things. There is a whole mentality behind the concept of earning things and the thought that now is not always the right time that seems to have been largely lost in recent years.

Very true Rolf.

UndercoverElephant

Eldest daughter had hers done at eight, it seemed too young but Mrs. Elephant had hers done at the same age. It's fine, to be honest but I understand your misgivings. She wasn't near the first in her class at school in getting it done.

greg66_tri_v2.0

16.

Mine have been told that's when they can get theirs done. They're not over the moon, but they've accepted it.

team47b

There is too much desire to grow up as fast as possible, what is wrong with allowing childhood to run its course without peer/parental pressure?

What next make up?

Don't be influenced by the media, listen to your own common sense.

(I have two children and one earring)

NGale

12 minimum. By that age she will be able to keep up the hygiene for herself and not have to be prompted as much as an 8 year old.

I had mine done when I was 9 years old and ended up with an infection in one ear because I didn't follow the hygiene regime,

cjcp

Si,

If number 1 asked me, "no" would be the beginning and the end of that conversation.

DrLex

Both of mine have been told that 13 is the age for this rite of passage. All I note is that there is only one girl in her class (year 8= 12-13y.o.) at prep. school with pierced ears, yet at her friend's school (LEA) in the same year, there's only one without (the friend). Peer pressure may help decide this matter?

lost_in_thought

NGale wrote:

12 minimum. By that age she will be able to keep up the hygiene for herself and not have to be prompted as much as an 8 year old.

I had mine done when I was 9 years old and ended up with an infection in one ear because I didn't follow the hygiene regime,

Eww good point. I'd forgotten about all the hygiene and upkeep that's required in the early stages - that's why mine never really ended up properly pierced.

mouth

tell her how much it hurts. trust me i've had 7 separate piercings in my 30 years and they all hurt like buggery.

veronese68

My daughter is 10 and hasn't asked yet. I think I would say no, but ultimately it would be up to the EPO. At age 8 I think I would have been more strongly in the 'no' camp.

redvee

Would any decent piercer do it on someone so young, even with parental consent and money?

veronese68

redvee wrote:

Would any decent piercer do it on someone so young, even with parental consent and money?

Horror story anecdote time. My arsehole of a bro in law had my nieces head shaved when she was 2 years old to enable her hair to 'grow back stronger'. My sister was mortified so had her ears pierced so she would look a bit 'girly'.
They wound up removing the earrings and the holes grew over, that was 12 years ago. Some people will do anything if offered money. Her parents I sometimes think less of.

rjsterry

redvee wrote:

Would any decent piercer do it on someone so young, even with parental consent and money?

This.

NGale

Veronese68 wrote:

redvee wrote:

Would any decent piercer do it on someone so young, even with parental consent and money?

Horror story anecdote time. My arsehole of a bro in law had my nieces head shaved when she was 2 years old to enable her hair to 'grow back stronger'. My sister was mortified so had her ears pierced so she would look a bit 'girly'.
They wound up removing the earrings and the holes grew over, that was 12 years ago. Some people will do anything if offered money. Her parents I sometimes think less of.

A common occurrence around the sink estates of Exeter (yes we do have them in Devon!) is for the chavvy parents to have the ears pieced of their equally chavvy babies within months of the poor sods being born. And it doesn't matter if the child is male or female!

veronese68

Common in many places I'm sure. This was in Italy, my sister is too spineless to stand up to the arsehole in law.

msmancunia

Veronese68 wrote:

Common in many places I'm sure. This was in Italy, my sister is too spineless to stand up to the arsehole in law.

Seems to be the done thing in Europe for some reason. My best mate's mum is from Gran Canaria and she took her three daughters over for their usual summer visit (aged 1, 4, and 6). Her auntie said she'd babysit the girls so J and her husband could have a day at the beach on their own. When she got home, all three were sat at the kitchen table, ears pierced. She couldn't be bothered with the family pressure (I'd have hit the ceiling) and left them in.

That Xmas the 6 year old was Mary in the school nativity and ripped one out with her shawl. She took them all out pretty sharpish after that.

shouldbeinbed

We agreed with she'd wait until end of primary school & get em done. Summer holidays was advised as best time by 2ndary school in their prospectus so they'd be healed & ready to go without faff by new school year & wouldn't interfere with PE swimming trips.

She's had a few problems & infections since getting it done though.

tailwindhome

Daughter has been told she has to wait until her 10th birthday (she's 9).

She'll be the last in her class to get them done.

lost_in_thought

msmancunia wrote:

Veronese68 wrote:

Common in many places I'm sure. This was in Italy, my sister is too spineless to stand up to the arsehole in law.

Seems to be the done thing in Europe for some reason. My best mate's mum is from Gran Canaria and she took her three daughters over for their usual summer visit (aged 1, 4, and 6). Her auntie said she'd babysit the girls so J and her husband could have a day at the beach on their own. When she got home, all three were sat at the kitchen table, ears pierced. She couldn't be bothered with the family pressure (I'd have hit the ceiling) and left them in.

That Xmas the 6 year old was Mary in the school nativity and ripped one out with her shawl. She took them all out pretty sharpish after that.

Oh gawd... that is just awful. Here's another horror story for you...

I have a friend with one earlobe that is bisected into two earlobes following falling off her bike with newly pierced ears at the age of about 11. Her helmet straps got caught up in her earring, and ripped it out, neatly halving her earlobe and removing a small wedge of it.

Her parents had it stitched up, but it was perenially infected and picked at, what with her being a kid and all, and it never healed back together.

DrLex

lost_in_thought wrote:

[...] Her helmet straps got caught up in her earring, and ripped it out, neatly halving her earlobe and removing a small wedge of it.
[...]

Ouchie! Claret everywhere.
You do realise that this anecdote may well turn up in the next exciting helmet debate?

SimonAH

Thankyou Forum, once again you have come up trumps! I just passed this thread to the sainted OH and the discussion is over. The young'un may not be best pleased but no holes will be appearing in her ears for a.good while yet.

Lone Rider

When my daughter was new-born, the midwife handed her to me with her ears already pierced.
I live in Spain and new-borns don't have to wear pink or blue pyjamas!

Ben6899

Lone Rider wrote:

When my daughter was new-born, the midwife handed her to me with her ears already pierced.
I live in Spain and new-borns don't have to wear pink or blue pyjamas!

It looks like English, but the reference points are troubling me.

In other words "eh?"

greg66_tri_v2.0

SimonAH wrote:

Thankyou Forum, once again you have come up trumps! I just passed this thread to the sainted OH and the discussion is over. The young'un may not be best pleased but no holes will be appearing in her ears for a.good while yet.

Two things.

First, just how did that "I passed this thread to the sainted OH" work? You have an argument, each of you are entrenched. Then you come back and say "honey, I decided to share our family issue with my "friends" on the Internet. When I say "friends" I mean anonymous possible psychos, but I like to think of them as friends. Anyway, they had some opinions, so here, read what they say and see if what you think". Not sure Mrs 66 would have taken up the invitation to read the thread...

Secondly, assuming the little 'un is the girl in your avatar, she's seven now and smokes, so how the hell was there ever an issue about something as trivial as getting her ears pierced?