Things that bug me

EKE_38BPM

The proof isn't in the pudding. The proof of the pudding is in the eating. Why do so many people say that incorrectly?
The "High rising terminal inflection". If its not a question, don't make it sound like one.
Fake tits, hair and nails. I've seen fake toenails FFS.
Squeaky shoes. I've got a pair of adidas shell toes that are nearly two years old and have only just stopped squeaking.
Girls in short skirts who keep trying to pull the hem down. You should've worn a longer skirt, love.
Parents who put their kids in dangerous situations. Yesterday I saw two not-so Yummy Mummies chatting to each other as their kids ran back and forth across a road. Not a busy road, but there were cars moving. Smoking in a car with kids in also counts.
Excessive use of the word "Darling". Craig Revel Horwood, I'm looking at you!
Excessive political correctness. Call a spade a spade. A ballcock is a ballcock, not a float operated valve.
Politicians. Pretty much all of them bug me and I see them as self-serving. Kevin Keegan steps down if he thinks he can't do the job any more, I can't think of a politician who has done that.

That will do for now.

essex-commuter

'Management Speak'.

Ducks in a row, singing from same hymn sheet, laser focused....etc. Bullsh*t bingo contenders.

sketchley

"Lets touch base" - Really hits a nerve everytime I hear it. If anyone every hears me say it you can punch me in the face.

greg66_tri_v2.0

"Drill down". For no good reason it makes me think that the speaker is a sodomite.

walkingbootweather

I saw a girl in a too short skirt the other day. I wanted to touch base.

Just saying.

Simontheintrepid

Writing for B2B magazines (fortunately not much longer!) the amount of times I see at the start of press releases:
'Despite the current economic climate, X company has broken all sales records...'

Just Fock. Right. Off

Also, when companies refer to themselves as 'industry players', I die a little inside. Just stop it

sketchley

walkingbootweather wrote:

I saw a girl in a too short skirt the other day. I wanted to touch base.

Just saying.

That's part of the reason why when a middle ages male says it I hate it.

rolf_f

The little lugs on zip pulls that are designed to stop the pull from looping round. But every one that has ever been made has the lugs at exactly the correct length that they do twist round but are then almost impossible to get back to the right position because of the stupid lug.

Infact, the length of the lugs is so precisely the only length that could be a problem, it must actually be a deliberate ploy by the whole of the zip industry.

FoldingJoe

One floating around our company at the moment, which every man and his flaming dog is saying; "Synergies"!!!

Stick your synergies up your crack - see how those two work together!!!

bails87

People who sneeze, but stifle it, so they sneeze a load more, because the thing that's making them sneeze is still there.

"AAAHHH- psshhggh"
"AAAHHH- psshhggh"
"AAAHHH- psshhggh"
"AAAHHH- psshhggh"
"AAAHHH- psshhggh"
"AAAHHH- psshhggh"
"AAAHHH- psshhggh"
"AAAHHH- psshhggh"
then finally

"AHHHHH CHOOOOOO"

And...silence.

Just sneeze properly and get it over with!

essex-commuter

When did zips become universal? I bought a North Face jacket and thought I'd picked up a burds one by mistake. Then the Mrs got me a jacket from Next..same thing. WTF, give me my man-zip back.

cooldad

People who think I care what bugs them.

London_Falcon

"I'll reach out to ...."

"Let's socialise that"

Schedule has no "K" sound, its "shedule" not "skedule"

The letter after "G" in the alphabet is not "Haitch"

essex-commuter

Oh yeah, and Facebook.

bails87

London_Falcon wrote:

"I'll reach out to ...."

"Let's socialise that"

Schedule has no "K" sound, its "shedule" not "skedule"

The letter after "G" in the alphabet is not "Haitch"

What is it then? :?

Ben6899

bails87 wrote:

London_Falcon wrote:

"I'll reach out to ...."

"Let's socialise that"

Schedule has no "K" sound, its "shedule" not "skedule"

The letter after "G" in the alphabet is not "Haitch"

What is it then? :?

aitch

Ben6899

People who scrape their feet when they walk. Man up and while you're at it, pick your fuck1ing feet up!

Their, there, they're abuse.
Should 0f
Poor conjugation of the verbs "to do" and "to see". Extra hate points, if delivered with an Essex accent.

ToeKnee

Why do people hold conversations standing across from each other in busy coridors ... thus blocking the way?

People who insist on trying to get onto an, often full, train/lift before letting people off.

People who don't notice their stop on the train/lift until the last minute and then tut at those already boarded/boarding while they are trying to get off.

Smartphone surfers/users ... while you're walking ... why should I get out of your way if you can't be bothered to look where you are going ... and, no, the broken device is not my fault!

Management speak: The wheels are spinning but we've yet to have traction! :twisted:


Oh well, I was in a good mood until now ...

jzed

Ooohh loads:

People who drive in the outside lane of the motorway at 60mph when the two nearside lanes are empty.

Nodders who pull in front of me at traffic lights. I have already shown you many a time you belong behind me. get the message.

People who take their 15 kids to the supermarket and proceed to block every fecking aisle. Feck off.

The self service checkouts that always decide the thing doesn't weigh what it should and I must wait for assistance

The only way is essex - why do these people make so much money from being vacant.

The FA. No explanation needed

Labour.

Airlines who always allocate the extra legroom seats to the vertically challenged so I am crammed in an unhuman space with the person infront immediately reclining their seat, whilst the entertainment system packs up, and the kid behind me crys and kicks my seat for the whole 11 hour journey. South African Airways.

Ben6899

JZed wrote:

Airlines who always allocate the extra legroom seats to the vertically challenged so I am crammed in an unhuman space with the person infront immediately reclining their seat, whilst the entertainment system packs up, and the kid behind me crys and kicks my seat for the whole 11 hour journey. South African Airways.

Which reminds me...

American Airlines. Has anyone else had the misfortune to fly with these feckless wankers? Old 'planes, older entertainment systems (movies on a sCHedule; not on-demand) and the cherry on the top of the dog-shit cake: alcohol is not thrown in with the flight price, no matter how far you're flying. AND it can only be purchased with a CREDIT card. Now I don't own a credit card - I only buy what I can afford - so I am never flying with these jokers ever again. Because I like a drink when I'm on a 12hr red-eye!

"Hello, welcome aboard sir. Welcome to 1986."

asprilla

Ben6899 wrote:

JZed wrote:

Airlines who always allocate the extra legroom seats to the vertically challenged so I am crammed in an unhuman space with the person infront immediately reclining their seat, whilst the entertainment system packs up, and the kid behind me crys and kicks my seat for the whole 11 hour journey. South African Airways.

Which reminds me...

American Airlines. Has anyone else had the misfortune to fly with these feckless wankers? Old 'planes, older entertainment systems (movies on a sCHedule; not on-demand) and the cherry on the top of the dog-shit cake: alcohol is not thrown in with the flight price, no matter how far you're flying. AND it can only be purchased with a CREDIT card. Now I don't own a credit card - I only buy what I can afford - so I am never flying with these jokers ever again. Because I like a drink when I'm on a 12hr red-eye!

"Hello, welcome aboard sir. Welcome to 1986."

All US carriers are like that. American's don't understand alchomahol is a human right.

welkman

Pupils that steal my mother fooking keys and memory stick....I mean what was the point? Do they have any idea how much hassle this causes the average person? I can't get into my office or building and I have lost hours and hours of work. And yes I know I should of backed it up... thieving little scumbags :evil:

mudcow007

cyclists - lycra wearing red light jumping pavement riding scumbags...... the lot of em

bails87

Ben6899 wrote:

bails87 wrote:

London_Falcon wrote:

The letter after "G" in the alphabet is not "Haitch"

What is it then? :?

aitch

So the letter 'H' has no place in the phonetic spelling of...erm....the letter 'H'?

Mudcow007: Too right, they should pay some bloomin' road tax while they're riding on the pavement and jumping red lights!

Simontheintrepid

Ben6899 wrote:

JZed wrote:

Airlines who always allocate the extra legroom seats to the vertically challenged so I am crammed in an unhuman space with the person infront immediately reclining their seat, whilst the entertainment system packs up, and the kid behind me crys and kicks my seat for the whole 11 hour journey. South African Airways.

Which reminds me...

American Airlines. Has anyone else had the misfortune to fly with these feckless wankers? Old 'planes, older entertainment systems (movies on a sCHedule; not on-demand) and the cherry on the top of the dog-shit cake: alcohol is not thrown in with the flight price, no matter how far you're flying. AND it can only be purchased with a CREDIT card. Now I don't own a credit card - I only buy what I can afford - so I am never flying with these jokers ever again. Because I like a drink when I'm on a 12hr red-eye!

"Hello, welcome aboard sir. Welcome to 1986."

#firstworldpains

Ben6899

Simontheintrepid wrote:

Ben6899 wrote:

JZed wrote:

Airlines who always allocate the extra legroom seats to the vertically challenged so I am crammed in an unhuman space with the person infront immediately reclining their seat, whilst the entertainment system packs up, and the kid behind me crys and kicks my seat for the whole 11 hour journey. South African Airways.

Which reminds me...

American Airlines. Has anyone else had the misfortune to fly with these feckless wankers? Old 'planes, older entertainment systems (movies on a sCHedule; not on-demand) and the cherry on the top of the dog-shit cake: alcohol is not thrown in with the flight price, no matter how far you're flying. AND it can only be purchased with a CREDIT card. Now I don't own a credit card - I only buy what I can afford - so I am never flying with these jokers ever again. Because I like a drink when I'm on a 12hr red-eye!

"Hello, welcome aboard sir. Welcome to 1986."

#firstworldpains

That may be the case, but it doesn't hide the fact that American Airlines are a crock of shite.

CiB

Kids and older people too who wear trousers pulled down towards the kneecaps and pants pulled up so far towards the armpits that you see far too much underwear. I'd like to shoot the little feckers who do that; I don't want to see your pants thanks, and your juvenile tawdry cry for sex ("look my trousers are already halfway down, let's just get on with it") is pitiful, especially in John Lewis.

greg66_tri_v2.0

bails87 wrote:

So the letter 'H' has no place in the phonetic spelling of...erm....the letter 'H'?

That is correct.

A similar principle can be drawn from eh, see, eye, and double-you.

Not to mention eff, ell, em, en, are/our, ess, you, ex and why, where the phonetic spelling doesn't start with the letter it represents.

veronese68

Too much to list. I'm just a miserable old git. But as you asked:
My boss keeps saying "At the end of the day". he pretends not to hear me say "It's night" every time. It's the only way I can tolerate hearing it.

EKE_38BPM

Ben6899 wrote:

Simontheintrepid wrote:

Ben6899 wrote:

JZed wrote:

Airlines who always allocate the extra legroom seats to the vertically challenged so I am crammed in an unhuman space with the person infront immediately reclining their seat, whilst the entertainment system packs up, and the kid behind me crys and kicks my seat for the whole 11 hour journey. South African Airways.

Which reminds me...

American Airlines. Has anyone else had the misfortune to fly with these feckless wankers? Old 'planes, older entertainment systems (movies on a sCHedule; not on-demand) and the cherry on the top of the dog-shit cake: alcohol is not thrown in with the flight price, no matter how far you're flying. AND it can only be purchased with a CREDIT card. Now I don't own a credit card - I only buy what I can afford - so I am never flying with these jokers ever again. Because I like a drink when I'm on a 12hr red-eye!

"Hello, welcome aboard sir. Welcome to 1986."

#firstworldpains

That may be the case, but it doesn't hide the fact that American Airlines are a crock of shite.

This guy makes me think that South West Airlines get a bit of a squeeze. Probably the exception who proves the rule.

gert_lush

People in the wrong lanes at the swimming pool drives me INSANE! I'm not the worlds fastest swimmer, I cant keep up with the guys and gals in the fast lanes so I don't swim in them, Instead I take the Medium/fast lane. If someone is quicker than me, I pause at the end and wave them through, takes a few seconds, most others do the same if I am faster. PEOPLE WHO CAN'T SWIM A LENGTH PROPERLY AND HOLD EVERYONE UP AND WILL NOT LET ANYONE PAST SHOULD NOT BE IN THIS LANE, USE THE SLOW LANE!! (men in insanely baggy shorts and women in bikini's are the main culprits) And don't get me started with the ones who start using a float to drift down the pool, or stand at the end chatting stopping everyone else from turning around ............and relax