What's your biggest brown pants moment?

Redhog14

This was quite unexpected! Due to the mud it was sort of brown pants, socks, jacket, camelback....

Nick Cod

One morning I decided to head out on a short blast on the SDW picking up the trail from Tichborne heading east. There is a section of trail where the SDW is directed around the outside of a field and you're not suppose to cut through the centre unless you have permission, local riders should know it.

Anyway there are normally sheep grazing here but not this day, it was a small group of cows and one bull soaking up the sunshine. From what I've just mentioned you can probably guess what happend next. Mr Bull took a shine to my red GT and decided to come ask me about my new lock on grips. Not being overly keen to converse with him as I don't speak bovine, I had to sprint to the gate at the top of the hill and thought he'd got the message I wasn't in the mood for a chat as he was out of sight. However he didn't stop and proceeded to follow the tree line and popped his big cow head round the bush still keen to say hello.

It was almost an Alan Partridge moment when I threw myself and my bike over the gate to safety. Both myself and the bike were fine and although the adrenaline was pumping hard I did have a laugh to myself.

I had to make a slight adjustment to my intended route but we both made it home safe.

Can I also just add it doesn't help the situation when you're listening to AC DC Evil Walks on you're Ipod when being chased by a wild animal

Ride hard, ride safe

.blitz

A mate is shit scared of farm animals and one time we had to cycle (on a farm track) through a herd of cows. Always keen to get it over with matey goes in front and I tagged behind. After a moment I cogged it up a gear and sprinted past him shouting 'Come on! They're charging!'

I have never seen him sprint so quickly his fs bike was pogoing all over the place and he virtually dived over the farm gate at the end of the track. It was priceless*

* you had to be there obv.

Mojo_666

Redhog14 wrote:

This was quite unexpected! Due to the mud it was sort of brown pants, socks, jacket, camelback....

Man that is cool

Redhog14

Mojo_666 wrote:

Redhog14 wrote:

This was quite unexpected! Due to the mud it was sort of brown pants, socks, jacket, camelback....

Man that is cool

http://www.flickr.com/photos/49097109@N07/4894986799/
^^video^^
this is the aftermath in context! I actually lay there 20 odd ft away ,for about 5 mins assessing the damage and then couldn't stop pissing myself laughing for the next 5 when I realised all I was was wet!

bluechair84

Pufftmw wrote:

.blitz wrote:

bluechair84 wrote:

They stand up when you brake?? Or is that just the shoot ones?

Short wheelbase + steep head angle + braking in a corner = aaaaaarrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrgggggggghhhhhhhh

Heavy old bikes like GS550s/1000s, Kwackers etc all did it but you learned to counter steer or die

I bet

stubs wrote:

As I lay in the middle of the road having bounced off the windscreen of a red light jumping, mobile phone using, try to drive away from an accident scumbag,

Was he caught? Did you use your big ring as a ninja star to his nuts?

w.jenkins

decending the col du coq in france on the road bike, chin on the stem trying to get as aero as possible- out of no where is a hairpin bend with nothing the other side que dragging the rear brake around a hairpin at 50 odd

Matt88

hmm, hurtling down a country lane at 30+mph and turning a blind corner to find a farmer and about half a dozen bulls coming up was intresting, especially as nearly everything i was wearing was bright red...

stubs

bluechair84 wrote:

stubs wrote:

As I lay in the middle of the road having bounced off the windscreen of a red light jumping, mobile phone using, try to drive away from an accident scumbag,

Was he caught? Did you use your big ring as a ninja star to his nuts?

Yes he was caught and for trying to kill me he got the massive punishment of a £100 fine and 3 points on his license. Dont you love British justice, he got the points for jumping a red light. :roll:

gregwari

Bombing it back home down hill (on the road...). I was running late as I'd had a flat a mile or so back. Didn't put the tyre back on the rim properly, inner tube popped out, wrapped around the fork, turned into a massive balloon / break which brought my bike to a very rapid stop, sending me over the handlebar towards an oncoming car. Car stopped about 5m short of where I landed... it felt a lot closer at the time.

cycle monster

Thinking "did I really just post that" and awaiting the ban stick!

lochussie

On a big, flat-out, fade away landing jump in Spain, rotating forward and both feet come off the pedals midair. Also accidentally landing a step down in a manual and veering off the track onto the road that ran parallel. Must have looked pretty cool but I shat it.

At the end of Glentress, cutting through the Red Squirrel car park onto the end of the red/black at high speed, finishing a manual down the slope into the car park and both feet coming off the pedals so that I'm riding along supported by only my arms. Again, must have looked good!

Northwind

To get proper brown trousers, you need a bit of time to think about it... Like, fall of a cliff in france, bounce into an avalanche fence, narrowly escape getting decapitated by steel cables- no brown trousers, all over too fast. Screw up Hip Replacement jump at fort william, skither along on front wheel for the entire landing, eject into face of berm- considerable brown trousers because of the length of time between realising you're boned, and the arrival of the actual boning.

VWsurfbum

I just remembered another one in the Brass monkies race i did just before crimbo.
On the first lap there was quite a bottle neck in places, so when you cleared them you put your foot down and tried to gain some space, came up to a verry large bomb hole, where if you didnt carry enough speed you aint ever going to get out the other side. well i like bomb holes and i also like to jump out the other side but i went in fast, went to pump at the bottom, front tyre popped off the rim spraying sealant everywhere! and all i could see was me headbutting the upside of the transition but obviously carying the speed i was i still managed to get up most of the way but had to jump out the way of oncoming racers. Luckily i was carrying my Co2 pump and got it inflated again. that will teach me for running silly low pressures. My heart rate was still maxed by the time i got back in the race

Ghostt

As a kid I had a BSO (think it was from Toys-R-Us, you get the picture...might have been an Orange 5) with a quill stem. One ride, I was feeling particularly brave and went to take a sharp bend flat out, turned the bars, and the front wheel kept tracking true, leaving me heading straight for a tree.

Luckily, bike fell over before I reached the tree, just a few scratches and a change of pants needed. Turns out my early teenage attempts at bike maintenance had resulting in knackering the thread on the expanding bolt, was a wonder it worked at all!

The Rookie

2 Spring to mind
1/ as a kid going down a hill, following car says I was doing 40 on my old Raleigh Hustler when a light bracket comes loose and goes into the front wheel, 6 broken spokes, many bent and I make like Superman, tucked and roleld to land on my shoulder with just a T-shirt on - gravel rash was impressive (car driver was a really nice bloke and helped me out mind)
2/ Approaching some steps, going about 30mph, bunny hop up onto the kerb ready to descend when I see (too late) a skateboard, hit it, back wheel up in air as I descend the steps, shoes come unclipped as well, fortunetaly ass finds saddle and I bump down on the back wheel about half way down before stopping with a rear puncture, skateboard in 2 pieces follows down the steps!

Simon

AAG

Getting hit from behind on a busy and fast roundabout in rush hour and landing on the bonnet and then hitting the floor, and the laying there waiting to get run over.

VWsurfbum

I used to live on top of a hill, at the bottom of the hill was a road to the left or you could carry on, this particular afternoon, i decided at the last minute to turn left, my fully rigid school bike hit the curb on the other side of the road, catapulting me over the bars and i remember thinking i'm going to go headfirst into that bush! I didnt i carried enough speed to clear the bush and land in the garden on the other side! :shock:

Clank

I was giving it some beans coming back from work one night accross our local common. I tipped my old GT into the right hander at the bottom doing the best part of 30mph. The front wheel hits a lump of mud from the building site and I feel the front wheel just peel away sideways and get that sickening feeling as the front of the bike dives downwards towards Mr Macadams finest.

I took a bounce down the road then had to get my sh*t together, get up, grab my bike and get the hell out of the road in case a car came around the bend!

Well, it was less of a bounce, more a 'splat'.

oodboo

Telling the missus what I've just bought.

delcol

hearing the words "col i'm pregnant" come from the missuses mouth.. :shock:

cycle monster

Redhog14 wrote:

This was quite unexpected! Due to the mud it was sort of brown pants, socks, jacket, camelback....

Crumbs, looks like bad luck. There is not a speck of mud or anything else on your, bike, must have been very early into your ride. I am in awe of your bike cleaning skills.

ilovedirt

Northwind wrote:

To get proper brown trousers, you need a bit of time to think about it... Like, fall of a cliff in france, bounce into an avalanche fence, narrowly escape getting decapitated by steel cables- no brown trousers, all over too fast. Screw up Hip Replacement jump at fort william, skither along on front wheel for the entire landing, eject into face of berm- considerable brown trousers because of the length of time between realising you're boned, and the arrival of the actual boning.

Oh yeah, that reminds me, riding up up in the hills behind Conwy, coming down a nice fast descent, I heard the guy in front of me shout what I thought was "fire!". Looked up just in time to realise he had shouted "wire!". There was maybe a metre or two between me and this half inch thick wire at perfect neck height. I managed to duck just in time, but had seriously brown pants afterwards when I realised how close I came!

pilch

Not biking, but I once got lofted 100ft in the air kitesurfing... squall came through when I was on a big kite and all the sudden I was paragliding....

allen.coulson

1. As a kid, hurtling down a hill checked that no cross traffic at the bottom headed for the middle of the road to give me space for the next turn...

and thus aligned my front wheel with the level crossing trackway that crossed the road diagonally. Wheel went into the track and launched me ...

2. In Gambia a couple of years ago riding on a track through the bush being ignored by everyone. Got to a village and was ignored got to the end of the village and a boy and a woman waved to me. Thought that was nice and so I waved back and went round the corner to find a swarm of African wild bees. Now these are not good and they kill you. Dumped the bike and ran like fk into one of the houses - 2 stings which went septic and I now know I am alergic to bee stings!

oodboo

The birth of my first son, if anyone knows what the apgar score is he achieved 0 at 1 minute.

P-Jay

Hmmm

I'm not a big fan of blind drops, I used to ride Cwmcarn all the time, and hated the road drop, sometimes I'd hit it, more often than not I'd take the roll-in. But one day, confidence was high, speed higher and I was hitting it every run a little quicker every time - last run I launched off it at what felt like a zillion mph and just as I left the lip 'the fear' came back - don't know why and I was the falling like the dead sailor - total passenger. The bike rotated forward and I landed heavy on the front wheel, ended up doing a long, not very graceful rolling stoppy / swearfest all the way down the trannie before hitting the little fence there at 1mph.

I also hate riding 'north shore' got a little left behind in whistler back in the summer, lost my mates and the guide and instead of coming down B-Line I dropped into Devil Club, it's a blue so hardly Freight Train, but within seconds I was transversing very narrow, very wet, very bendy woodwork too scared to brake. Loved it when I came out the other end, but shit I wasn't happy on it.

Took a big old slug of mud to the face in Morzine years ago on a muddy set of berms and ended up flying straight up the face of one and into the wilderness behind it, scary getting air blind, would have slid it out without hurting myself, but I landed on the bike and took a pedal to the ribs - bad day out.

raggedstone

oodboo wrote:

The birth of my first son, if anyone knows what the apgar score is he achieved 0 at 1 minute.

now that is proper scary

my first was a tricky birth, and I was very relieved when she yelled on the scales.

oodboo

Brown pants moment of the day:
We've had lots of that freezing rain stuff this morning. Anyway, I was overtaken by a bus quite close this morning, at least the front was close, the back of the bus was in the opposite lane and the whole damn thing was travelling sideways! I could only watch in horror as the bus then changed lanes, front end now in the opposite lane and back end swinging back into the left lane at it approached a cyclist ahead of me. Fortunately it didn't swing far enough to hit him either.

lochussie

Fixing my hydraulic brakes and jumping on for a test ride down the long steep hill from my flat. Trying to slow down for the first junction: no luck, went through 3 junctions at 30+ before the brakes started working. Long enough to fully contemplate the painful options if a car crossed my path.