Random useful tips

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  • asprilla
    asprilla Posts: 8,440
    If your child is choking on an ice cube quickly relieve the blockage by pouring boiling water down their throat.
    Mud - Genesis Vapour CCX
    Race - Fuji Norcom Straight
    Sun - Cervelo R3
    Winter / Commute - Dolan ADX
  • the other me
    the other me Posts: 114
    Never get out of the boat.
  • DrLex
    DrLex Posts: 2,142
    the other me wrote:
    Never get out of the boat.


    Excellent advice; as is "never start a land war in Asia".
    Location: ciderspace
  • asprilla
    asprilla Posts: 8,440
    Never start a European war on two fronts.
    Mud - Genesis Vapour CCX
    Race - Fuji Norcom Straight
    Sun - Cervelo R3
    Winter / Commute - Dolan ADX
  • EKE_38BPM
    EKE_38BPM Posts: 5,821
    "Never bother trying to figure out why your wife/girlfriend in suddenly in a foul mood. Just accept that it was probably your fault, buy flowers and apologise."

    'Advice' I saw in a crap magazine a while back.
    FCN 3: Raleigh Record Ace fixie-to be resurrected sometime in the future
    FCN 4: Planet X Schmaffenschmack 2- workhorse
    FCN 9: B Twin Vitamin - winter commuter/loan bike for trainees

    I'm hungry. I'm always hungry!
  • jds_1981
    jds_1981 Posts: 1,858
    Don't corner too quickly on a fixie
    FCN 9 || FCN 5
  • rick_chasey
    rick_chasey Posts: 75,660
    Keyser__Soze wrote:
    Rick Chasey wrote:
    ...

    Trust Tiny Tim to lower the tone of this thread by harping on about cox...

    Plural.

    I know you love it Keyser :P
    _
  • tgotb
    tgotb Posts: 4,714
    Asprilla wrote:
    Never start a European war on two fronts.
    Never start a single European currency.
    Pannier, 120rpm.
  • suzyb
    suzyb Posts: 3,449
    mudcow007 wrote:
    anorexics - When your knees become fatter than your legs, start eating cakes again
    That probably shouldn't be funny but it is :lol:
    Whippet
  • SimonAH
    SimonAH Posts: 3,730
    If your child has a lisp make sure it is born in Spain where this is not a disadvantage.
    FCN 5 belt driven fixie for city bits
    CAADX 105 beastie for bumpy bits
    Litespeed L3 for Strava bits

    Smoke me a kipper, I'll be back for breakfast.
  • Canny Jock
    Canny Jock Posts: 1,051
    Leave your gloves on the radiator overnight to help on cold mornings

    and

    Don't plant your corn too deep.
  • PBo
    PBo Posts: 2,493
    always carry cable ties.....there's nothing that can't be bodged with a cable tie....


    did i miss the point?
  • Jay dubbleU
    Jay dubbleU Posts: 3,159
    When going to the cinema have consideration for pirate DVD recorders by going to the toilet before the film starts
  • SimonAH
    SimonAH Posts: 3,730
    Make that 'orrible runny tasteless diet yoghurt thick and creamy by blending in a tablespoon of lard.
    FCN 5 belt driven fixie for city bits
    CAADX 105 beastie for bumpy bits
    Litespeed L3 for Strava bits

    Smoke me a kipper, I'll be back for breakfast.
  • Topaxci
    Topaxci Posts: 106
    Canny Jock wrote:
    Leave your gloves on the radiator overnight to help on cold mornings

    This also works for shoes too - toasty toes are very nice to start out on a cold day.

    also

    Don't run with scissors.
    (unless you're in a hurry and need scissors)
  • rick_chasey
    rick_chasey Posts: 75,660
    Avoid shaving by growing a beard.
    _
  • SimonAH
    SimonAH Posts: 3,730
    Topaxci wrote:
    Canny Jock wrote:
    Leave your gloves on the radiator overnight to help on cold mornings

    This also works for shoes too - toasty toes are very nice to start out on a cold day.

    Not however if there is any leather and dampness involved as this will result in hand and foot coverings sized for gerbils and transmuted into concrete.
    FCN 5 belt driven fixie for city bits
    CAADX 105 beastie for bumpy bits
    Litespeed L3 for Strava bits

    Smoke me a kipper, I'll be back for breakfast.
  • Flyingbogey
    Flyingbogey Posts: 352
    I miss VIZ,
    Bianchi Nirone C2C FCN4
  • asprilla
    asprilla Posts: 8,440
    Flyingbogey wrote:
    I miss VIZ,

    Enjoy your favourite pamphlets by simply subscribing to them and having them delivered to your door.
    Mud - Genesis Vapour CCX
    Race - Fuji Norcom Straight
    Sun - Cervelo R3
    Winter / Commute - Dolan ADX
  • t4tomo
    t4tomo Posts: 2,643
    Rick Chasey wrote:
    Avoid shaving by growing a beard.
    Avoid looking like a scruffy vagrant by shaving regularly.

    :D
    Bianchi Infinito CV
    Bianchi Via Nirone 7 Ultegra
    Brompton S Type
    Carrera Vengeance Ultimate Ltd
    Gary Fisher Aquila '98
    Front half of a Viking Saratoga Tandem
  • t4tomo
    t4tomo Posts: 2,643
    clarkey cat wrote:
    When clearing up broken glass, use a piece of cheap white bread to mop up the affected area after sweeping. The moist bread will pick up the pieces that you can't sweep and your broom misses.

    Don't put said piece of white bread back in the bread bin or toaster.
    Bianchi Infinito CV
    Bianchi Via Nirone 7 Ultegra
    Brompton S Type
    Carrera Vengeance Ultimate Ltd
    Gary Fisher Aquila '98
    Front half of a Viking Saratoga Tandem
  • Flyingbogey
    Flyingbogey Posts: 352
    Asprilla wrote:
    Flyingbogey wrote:
    I miss VIZ,

    Enjoy your favourite pamphlets by simply subscribing to them and having them delivered to your door.

    Disappoint and please wife in equal measure by saying "I know what I want for Xmas" the. Showing her Asprillas post! Cheers.
    Bianchi Nirone C2C FCN4
  • graham.
    graham. Posts: 862
    If you can't afford chewing gum, simply put a bit of toothpaste on an old elastic band and chew that instead.
    Graham.
    My Flickr Pics

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