If Chuck Norris rode a bike...

Peddle Up!
Peddle Up! Posts: 2,040
edited March 2012 in The bottom bracket
Chuck Norris doesn't need gears. Hills just move out of his way.
Purveyor of "up" :)
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Comments

  • seanoconn
    seanoconn Posts: 11,841
    chucknorrisapproves1.gif


    Stolen from NapD :lol:
    Pinno, מלך אידיוט וחרא מכונאי
  • Wirral_paul
    Wirral_paul Posts: 2,476
    Chuck Norris is so hard, he saves some weight by sitting directly on the seatpost!!
  • Peddle Up!
    Peddle Up! Posts: 2,040
    When (if!) Chuck falls off a bike, the road gets Chuck rash.
    Purveyor of "up" :)
  • rozzer32
    rozzer32 Posts: 3,924
    Oh come on! Chuck norris is a stupid actor! If hes that good and 'all powerful' then he would come to my house and slap my head against the keyboaj23oj423oiuh4j32j14kkj2134kj132j4h12jh4k.
    ***** Pro Tour Pundit Champion 2020, 2018, 2017 & 2011 *****
  • Peddle Up!
    Peddle Up! Posts: 2,040
    rozzer32 wrote:
    Oh come on! Chuck norris is a stupid actor! If hes that good and 'all powerful' then he would come to my house and slap my head against the keyboaj23oj423oiuh4j32j14kkj2134kj132j4h12jh4k.

    :D
    Purveyor of "up" :)
  • Avanti Roman
    Avanti Roman Posts: 189
    ... it would be a single speed steel framed rigid Fat Bike:

    SurlyFatBike.jpg
    Ribble Gran Fondo
    Boardman CX Team
    Trek 8000
    Sirrus framed 'special'

    Prev: Avanti Corsa, Routens, MBK TT, homemade TT bike, Trek 990, Vitus 979 x 2, Peugeot Roubaix & er..Raleigh Arena!
  • holmeboy
    holmeboy Posts: 674
    What age is Chuck, he was kicking B Lee's ass when I wer't a lad.
  • Peddle Up!
    Peddle Up! Posts: 2,040
    holmeboy wrote:
    What age is Chuck, he was kicking B Lee's ass when I wer't a lad.

    Chuck doesn't have an age. Time is too afraid of him.
    Purveyor of "up" :)
  • Frank the tank
    Frank the tank Posts: 6,553
    It wouldn't be a mountain bike it would be a mole-hill bike.
    Tail end Charlie

    The above post may contain traces of sarcasm or/and bullsh*t.
  • Peddle Up!
    Peddle Up! Posts: 2,040
    Frank the tank wrote:
    It wouldn't be a mountain bike it would be a mole-hill bike.

    Some mole. Some hill. :D
    Purveyor of "up" :)
  • bearfraser
    bearfraser Posts: 435
    he's so hard he dosnt need a bike, a kiddies trike with ballon tyres may-be
  • Eric Cartman
    Eric Cartman Posts: 23
    I might be going against the prevailing wisdom of the entire internet with this but Chuck Norris is a knob.
  • crispybug2
    crispybug2 Posts: 2,915
    Chuck Norris doesn't do push ups......he just pushes the Earth down!
  • napoleond
    napoleond Posts: 5,992
    rozzer32 wrote:
    Oh come on! Chuck norris is a stupid actor! If hes that good and 'all powerful' then he would come to my house and slap my head against the keyboaj23oj423oiuh4j32j14kkj2134kj132j4h12jh4k.

    Heh heh nice one :)
    Insta: ATEnduranceCoaching
    ABCC Cycling Coach
  • Alinshearah
    Alinshearah Posts: 339
    Chuck Norris won the Tour De France on a stationary bike.
  • phy2sll2
    phy2sll2 Posts: 680
    If Chuck Norris rode a bike...

    ...I imagine he'd look a lot like Jens Voigt.

    http://texastailwind.wordpress.com/2008/06/02/little-known-facts-about-jens-voigt-2/
  • b16 b3n
    b16 b3n Posts: 301
    If Chuck Norris rode a bike, he would not go up the hills, he'd tunnel through them and meet you at the other side! :lol:
    " GET BACK CROC "
  • LeicesterLad
    LeicesterLad Posts: 3,908
    b16 b3n wrote:
    If Chuck Norris rode a bike, he would not go up the hills, he'd tunnel through them and meet you at the other side! :lol:

    Your certain he's not a 'fag' then.
    http://www.twitter.com/InTheGC http://www.InTheGC.com http://www.facebook.com/intheGC
  • Blacktemplar
    Blacktemplar Posts: 713
    holmeboy wrote:
    What age is Chuck, he was kicking B Lee's ass when I wer't a lad.

    He's nearly 72..... hope I can still walk at that age, let alone do martial arts. I suspect my liver may have given out by then :shock:

    Agree he's a cr*p actor, but then so was Bruce Lee and so is Jackie Chan. Consider him a product of the televisual times. I reckon he's done OK for a mixed-race kid* from a poor Oklahoma background.

    And seven times world middleweight karate champion is not to be sneezed at.......



    *Allegedly. He claims to be part Irish, part Cherokee....
    "Get a bicycle. You won't regret it if you live"
    Mark Twain
  • Blacktemplar
    Blacktemplar Posts: 713
    LeicesterLad wrote:
    b16 b3n wrote:
    If Chuck Norris rode a bike, he would not go up the hills, he'd tunnel through them and meet you at the other side! :lol:

    Your certain he's not a 'fag' then.

    I know he's a bit 'soft spoken' :wink:

    Probably not, since he's been married twice and has 5 kids. You could ask him though.... :D
    "Get a bicycle. You won't regret it if you live"
    Mark Twain
  • Nuggs
    Nuggs Posts: 1,804
    Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.

    He's also counted to infinity. Twice.
  • Alinshearah
    Alinshearah Posts: 339
    When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris
  • holmeboy
    holmeboy Posts: 674
    Eric Cartman wrote:
    I might be going against the prevailing wisdom of the entire internet with this but Chuck Norris is a knob.

    Yes but what a knob, 12 inch everhard!
  • Blacktemplar
    Blacktemplar Posts: 713
    Chuck Norris can change gear..... on a fixie
    "Get a bicycle. You won't regret it if you live"
    Mark Twain
  • Yossie
    Yossie Posts: 2,600
    Eric Cartman wrote:
    I might be going against the prevailing wisdom of the entire internet with this but Chuck Norris is a knob.

    Mr Norris is gonna kick yo' azz for saying that and he's going to be moving so fast when he's doing it that you'll think you're surrounded by 10,000 ninjas.
  • LeicesterLad
    LeicesterLad Posts: 3,908
    Chuck Norris DOESNT remove the Gherkin from his BicMac.
    http://www.twitter.com/InTheGC http://www.InTheGC.com http://www.facebook.com/intheGC
  • Redhog14
    Redhog14 Posts: 1,377
    he would vote for Cav in SPOTY
    @surroundedbh
  • Peddle Up!
    Peddle Up! Posts: 2,040
    Blacktemplar wrote:
    holmeboy wrote:
    And seven times world middleweight karate champion is not to be sneezed at.......

    If Chuck Norris sneezed at you... :shock:
    Purveyor of "up" :)
  • b16 b3n
    b16 b3n Posts: 301
    LeicesterLad wrote:
    b16 b3n wrote:
    If Chuck Norris rode a bike, he would not go up the hills, he'd tunnel through them and meet you at the other side! :lol:

    Your certain he's not a 'fag' then.

    boooooooorrrrrrrrrriiiiiiinnnnnnnnngggggggggggg :roll:
    " GET BACK CROC "
  • Redhog14
    Redhog14 Posts: 1,377
    LeicesterLad wrote:
    Chuck Norris DOESNT remove the Gherkin from his BicMac.


    what's this Gherkin you refer to?

    I rather suspect Chuck would use a hack saw or perhaps a pumice stone for the tender bits under his nose...
    @surroundedbh

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