pockets on jeans

SimonAH

Why TF do they have to sling ar$e pockets so low on modern cut jeans? Sit down in the car and you have to get straight back out to take out your wallet because it's impossible to drive safely with one buttock balanced on an inch of plastic, paper and smartcards.

My chinos are fine. So are my suit trousers. What is it with fookin' jeans?

(perhaps should be in rants)

EKE_38BPM

Yes, should be in rants, but you are right. Consider carrying less crap in your wallet.


(Or get a handbag)

SimonAH

EKE_38BPM wrote:

Yes, should be in rants, but you are right. Consider carrying less crap in your wallet.


(Or get a handbag)

Mwah!

You have a point, but even cleansed of.receipts my wallet is a good.inch.thick with the sh1t required by life. Tell me yours is thinner.

EKE_38BPM

Nah, its at least the same, but the girls tell me its more about girth, anyway!

rjsterry

Wallet?

In your pocket?

What do you put in your man bag?

t4tomo

rjsterry wrote:

Wallet?

In your pocket?

What do you put in your man bag?

Moisturiser?

notsoblue

SimonAH wrote:

Why TF do they have to sling ar$e pockets so low on modern cut jeans? Sit down in the car and you have to get straight back out to take out your wallet because it's impossible to drive safely with one buttock balanced on an inch of plastic, paper and smartcards.

My chinos are fine. So are my suit trousers. What is it with fookin' jeans?

(perhaps should be in rants)

Are you buying hipster jeans to show off your whale tale?

SimonAH

Hipster jeans? Good lord man, no. No skinny jeans could ever contain the power of my ripped thighs and crunchin' butt cheeks.

Seriously though, I did an audit of the five or six pairs of jeans in my wardrobe that come under the 'bought in the last five years and fit to wear in public' heading and every damn one of them has the back pockets slung really low (and they are all plain, straight leg, blue denim jeans).

Digging into the strata of 'older friends that are very comfy for slouching around the house in but not for public view' and I find the pockets (regardless of brand of jeans) up where they ought to be so that when sitting the wallet is behind and not beneath you.

From this I can only conclude that about five years ago a southward pocket migration began. I confidently predict that the wallet issue will get worse until, in about 2017, it stops being a problem as the back pockets will be located at the back of the calves and will no longer interfere with sitting down.

rick_chasey

notsoblue wrote:

SimonAH wrote:

Why TF do they have to sling ar$e pockets so low on modern cut jeans? Sit down in the car and you have to get straight back out to take out your wallet because it's impossible to drive safely with one buttock balanced on an inch of plastic, paper and smartcards.

My chinos are fine. So are my suit trousers. What is it with fookin' jeans?

(perhaps should be in rants)

Are you buying hipster jeans to show off your whale tale?

This is an interesting, and totally off topic point.

Can a proper cyclist (i.e. one with proper thighs and arse) pull off skinny jeans with aplomb? (assuming that's possible for a moment)

I can't tell you how ridiculous it looks on me, and I assume it's because I've got cycling thighs and arse.

bails87

SimonAH
Maybe you need to pull your trousers up higher. Waistband around the bottom of the ribs should do it.

Torvid

bails87 wrote:

SimonAH
Maybe you need to pull your trousers up higher. Waistband around the bottom of the ribs should do it.

He needs to wear them lower like the 'yoof' of today then it would be about mid way down the back of his leg and out the way when he sat down.

rjsterry

Rick Chasey wrote:

notsoblue wrote:

SimonAH wrote:

Why TF do they have to sling ar$e pockets so low on modern cut jeans? Sit down in the car and you have to get straight back out to take out your wallet because it's impossible to drive safely with one buttock balanced on an inch of plastic, paper and smartcards.

My chinos are fine. So are my suit trousers. What is it with fookin' jeans?

(perhaps should be in rants)

Are you buying hipster jeans to show off your whale tale?

This is an interesting, and totally off topic point.

Can a proper cyclist (i.e. one with proper thighs and ars*) pull off skinny jeans with aplomb? (assuming that's possible for a moment)

I can't tell you how ridiculous it looks on me, and I assume it's because I've got cycling thighs and ars*.

Can't even get in to quite a lot of non-skinny jeans without going two sizes up on the waist, so no chance for me. Maybe this is what us cyclists need

rubertoe

Rick Chasey wrote:

notsoblue wrote:

SimonAH wrote:

Why TF do they have to sling ar$e pockets so low on modern cut jeans? Sit down in the car and you have to get straight back out to take out your wallet because it's impossible to drive safely with one buttock balanced on an inch of plastic, paper and smartcards.

My chinos are fine. So are my suit trousers. What is it with fookin' jeans?

(perhaps should be in rants)

Are you buying hipster jeans to show off your whale tale?

This is an interesting, and totally off topic point.

Can a proper cyclist (i.e. one with proper thighs and ars*) pull off skinny jeans with aplomb? (assuming that's possible for a moment)

I can't tell you how ridiculous it looks on me, and I assume it's because I've got cycling thighs and ars*.

I tried on a Pair of Slim fit suit Trousers over the weekend - it did not leave anything to the imagination at all - My GF and fashionista Jaw droped when i showed her -

i would never even contemplate a pair of Skinny jeans, i would never get them over my my thighs - loose fit all the way for me!

asprilla

rjsterry wrote:

Rick Chasey wrote:

notsoblue wrote:

SimonAH wrote:

Why TF do they have to sling ar$e pockets so low on modern cut jeans? Sit down in the car and you have to get straight back out to take out your wallet because it's impossible to drive safely with one buttock balanced on an inch of plastic, paper and smartcards.

My chinos are fine. So are my suit trousers. What is it with fookin' jeans?

(perhaps should be in rants)

Are you buying hipster jeans to show off your whale tale?

This is an interesting, and totally off topic point.

Can a proper cyclist (i.e. one with proper thighs and ars*) pull off skinny jeans with aplomb? (assuming that's possible for a moment)

I can't tell you how ridiculous it looks on me, and I assume it's because I've got cycling thighs and ars*.

Can't even get in to quite a lot of non-skinny jeans without going two sizes up on the waist, so no chance for me. Maybe this is what us cyclists need

33" inside leg, 29" waist, proper thigh and the backside is bulking nicely.

He's me in the office.



Sorted.

CiB

Torvid wrote:

bails87 wrote:

SimonAH
Maybe you need to pull your trousers up higher. Waistband around the bottom of the ribs should do it.

He needs to wear them lower like the 'yoof' of today then it would be about mid way down the back of his leg and out the way when he sat down.

I'd happily pull a gun these days on everyone I see wearing jeans round their crotch. Kuffing scum. What's it all about, wearing trousers in such a way that you can't walk properly, the whole world gets to see your ugly ridiculous underpants and you look like nothing more than a complete and utter tool? I know that old myth about mimicking gangsta boys in jail who have belts etc removed for personal safety reasons, but a bunch of white middle class teenagers in a shop? Gaaah. Pull your trousers up and wear a belt, you bunch of idiotic moronic half-wits. I don't want to see your Y fronts. Sodding yoof of today...

notsoblue

Er, I can't get skinny jeans on over my calves, let alone my thighs... Anyway, I don't think showing off a muffin top is worth the infertility.

notsoblue

CiB wrote:

I'd happily pull a gun these days on everyone I see wearing jeans round their crotch. Kuffing scum. What's it all about, wearing trousers in such a way that you can't walk properly, the whole world gets to see your ugly ridiculous underpants and you look like nothing more than a complete and utter tool? I know that old myth about mimicking gangsta boys in jail who have belts etc removed for personal safety reasons, but a bunch of white middle class teenagers in a shop? Gaaah. Pull your trousers up and wear a belt, you bunch of idiotic moronic half-wits. I don't want to see your Y fronts. Sodding yoof of today...

Adult is bewildered to the point of rage by teenage fashion. Hold the front page

Redhog14

Have 30" waist but can't fit in anything less than a 32" trouser on the basis that sometimes I can't even get the muthas on! Recent style changes in gents suits to remove the pleat at the front always left me feeling tight and a little "exposed" in the office, once had my thighs measured and they are same diameter as my waist add that to my burgeoning glutes, skinny jeans are for girls - look a lot better on them too.

CiB

notsoblue wrote:

Adult is bewildered to the point of rage by teenage fashion. Hold the front page

Except it's not teenagers is it? It's everyone these days, blokes in their 20s & 30s, half of Wembley last night, too many on the underground afterwards. Who's decided that pulling your trousers down to the point where they become uncomfortable and pulling your undercrackers up way above your navel is a good thing? Who can possibly dress in the morning and then think to themselves 'f u ck this. I'll adjust things a bit so I look like a p!ssed-up toddler instead'?

notsoblue

CiB wrote:

Except it's not teenagers is it? It's everyone these days, blokes in their 20s & 30s, half of Wembley last night, too many on the underground afterwards. Who's decided that pulling your trousers down to the point where they become uncomfortable and pulling your undercrackers up way above your navel is a good thing? Who can possibly dress in the morning and then think to themselves 'f u ck this. I'll adjust things a bit so I look like a p!ssed-up toddler instead'?

I totally agree, they look like they got dressed on ketamine, but I find it difficult to get wound up about it. Its just another tribal style, like back combed proto sloanes. London probably isn't the place for you if you get this angry about people who have different ideas about what they should look like! :P

scattered pedals

Ha! listen to you all laughing at low-slung jeans while all trying to squeeze into skinny (D*ckhead) ones!

asprilla

scattered pedals wrote:

Ha! listen to you all laughing at low-slung jeans while all trying to squeeze into skinny (D*ckhead) ones!

Nope, just somewhere in between.

The problem is finding jeans that can fit long legs and a narrow waist whilst still fitting over ample thighs. Most jeans will come with a leg length that is waist+two inches and that's a kicker if, like me, your leg is waist+four inches (actually +five inches in jeans).

Now most manufacturers assume that if you have a skinny waist and long legs this is because you are some kind of hipster and so need skinny drainpipes. You can see the problems cyclist thighs might cause with this. I can't even get into 501s, the worlds best selling jean, as for my waist, in fact for a 32" waist rather than a 30" they won't go over my legs.

Torvid

Asprilla wrote:

I can't even get into 501s, the worlds best selling jean, as for my waist, in fact for a 32" waist rather than a 30" they won't go over my legs.

Not quiet as thin round the middle as you but my last couple of pairs of superdry jeans have had wide long legs to smaller waists.

PedalPedant

SimonAH wrote:

Sit down in the car and you have to get straight back out to take out your wallet because it's impossible to drive safely with one buttock balanced on an inch of plastic, paper and smartcards.

Don't put your wallet in your back pocket, I've heard it's more prone to pickpockets and bad for your posture when sitting.

PP

SimonAH

And so where Mr Pedant (he phrases carefully) where would you like me to put my wallet when dressed in jeans and a teeshirt?

.............eh? Answer me that!

notsoblue

SimonAH wrote:

And so where Mr Pedant (he phrases carefully) where would you like me to put my wallet when dressed in jeans and a teeshirt?

.............eh? Answer me that!

Kieran_Burns

Levi 501 FTW!

Work for me every time. About the only bloody jeans I can find that allow my flipping thighs and calves to fit - and the pockets are on the a*se.

PedalPedant

SimonAH wrote:

And so where Mr Pedant (he phrases carefully) where would you like me to put my wallet when dressed in jeans and a teeshirt?

.............eh? Answer me that!

Well... I actually keep mine in my front jeans pocket with my phone*, hopefully I'd notice any pickpocket groping around trying to retrieve it from there. (whether I'd stop them or not would depend on the gender and attractiveness of said tea leaf).

I do however have a small (and usually empty) wallet and an old but titchy phone. I can see that anyone with a well stuffed wallet may be averse to this idea.

PP

* I am aware that this is probably irradiating my nads but the wallet argument still stands and I don't want any more kids anyway

asprilla

More to the point, other than visits to Barcelona or the set of Oliver! I wasn't aware that pick pocketing was an issue any more.....

rjsterry

notsoblue wrote:

SimonAH wrote:

And so where Mr Pedant (he phrases carefully) where would you like me to put my wallet when dressed in jeans and a teeshirt?

.............eh? Answer me that!

What I said back on page 1 (sort of). 'Tis a problem, it's true. Front or back is uncomfortable/makes you a very odd shape.

Re: pickpocketting, the few times I have jammed my wallet into my back pocket, it's fitted so snugly that when I've gone to pay for something in a shop there has ensued a very undignified escapologist-like routine as I try and get the wallet out.

cornerblock

For those of you who want to wear denim, ride your bike and still look soooo cool. There is only one choice. :shock:

http://www.bikerumor.com/2011/07/07/whe ... ling-kits/