Bike classification

DonDaddyD

OK I've read these assertions a couple times today and it's irked me.

Single Speed is a bike with no gears. It has one gear.

Fixed Gear, fixed or "fixie" is exactly like a single speed but doesn't have a freehub in the back wheel. If you stop pedaling the wheel stops moving and you essentially skid.

Common assumptions

If when asked "what do you ride" and you say either "Fixed" "Fixed Gear" "Fixie" Or "Single Speed". Then the assumption is that the bike has drop handlebars. If the bike has a flat handlebar (otherwise know as "ponce") then you need to specify this. If you have a mountain bike frame with a single speed then, again you have to specify this. You can accept the same rule as given for all other variations from the original format of a Fixed or Single speed bike. In it's original form a fixed or single speed is a track bike. Road bike frame, wheels, single gear and drop bars.

These bikes are not road bikes

A road bike is a bike like you see on the Tour de France. Previously known as a Racer these come with gears, which is the single biggest distinguishing factor that separates road and single speed bikes. That and road bikes are much cooler. Road bikes were cool back when cyclists were unpopular.

Much like fixed and single speed bikes if the road bike comes with a flat bar then you have to specify this by saying "Flat Bar Road Bike". The assumption is that a road bike comes with drop bars.

A hybrid is a dreadful contraption which I will not lower myself to explain.

A fakenger is a type of person. It is a image, a bastardised mimicry of the once sacred and beloved messenger, the urban warrior cyclist. You cannot buy fakenger, like you cannot buy chav. You can only become a fakenger and buy things that'll help you along the path.

SimonAH

I would challenge the bar defining the fixie.

Mine has had pullbacks, moustache, drops and currently bullhorms.

I would define a fixie purely as a single speed bicycle with no freewheel. This is the overall genus.

There are then species within this genus such as Polobike, trick bike, fixed MTB, fixed CX etc etc - including the BADGE of the hipster / fakenger which is a fixed vintage road frame with stupid little cut-down flat bars with BMX grips on them.

rjsterry

SimonAH wrote:

I would challenge the bar defining the fixie.

Mine has had pullbacks, moustache, drops and currently bullhorms.

I would define a fixie purely as a single speed bicycle with no freewheel. This is the overall genus.

There are then species within this genus such as Polobike, trick bike, fixed MTB, fixed CX etc etc - including the BADGE of the hipster / fakenger which is a fixed vintage road frame with stupid little cut-down flat bars with BMX grips on them.

Not forgetting the fliers for trendy club nights stuck through the spokes and unnecessarily deep rims, preferably in a neon shade.

pangolin

DonDaddyD wrote:

If when asked "what do you ride" and you say either "Fixed" "Fixed Gear" "Fixie" Or "Single Speed". Then the assumption is that the bike has drop handlebars. If the bike has a flat handlebar (otherwise know as "ponce") then you need to specify this. If you have a mountain bike frame with a single speed then, again you have to specify this. You can accept the same rule as given for all other variations from the original format of a Fixed or Single speed bike. In it's original form a fixed or single speed is a track bike. Road bike frame, wheels, single gear and drop bars.

I must have missed this entry in my "Book of things that are correct and not to be questioned". Might have to update my copy.

Cafewanda

rjsterry wrote:

SimonAH wrote:

I would challenge the bar defining the fixie.

Mine has had pullbacks, moustache, drops and currently bullhorms.

I would define a fixie purely as a single speed bicycle with no freewheel. This is the overall genus.

There are then species within this genus such as Polobike, trick bike, fixed MTB, fixed CX etc etc - including the BADGE of the hipster / fakenger which is a fixed vintage road frame with stupid little cut-down flat bars with BMX grips on them.

Not forgetting the fliers for trendy club nights stuck through the spokes and unnecessarily deep rims, preferably in a neon shade.

Spoke cards?

Mine are all related to rides I've been on with the LFGSS forum

Rich158

DonDaddyD wrote:

A road bike is a bike like you see on the Tour de France. Previously known as a Racer these come with gears, which is the single biggest distinguishing factor that separates road and single speed bikes. That and road bikes are much cooler. Road bikes were cool back when cyclists were unpopular.

You've forgotten CX bikes, they've got drop handle bars and cantilever brakes and to the ill-informed look just like road bikes. They are however deeply wrong, I mean if you want to go off-road use a MTB for heavens sake. They are mostly ridden by pervets and Belgians

il_principe

Rich158 wrote:

You've forgotten CX bikes, they've got drop handle bars and cantilever brakes and to the ill-informed look just like road bikes. They are however deeply wrong, I mean if you want to go off-road then you are clearly mental.

+1

DonDaddyD

SimonAH wrote:

I would challenge the bar defining the fixie.

Mine has had pullbacks, moustache, drops and currently bullhorms.

I would define a fixie purely as a single speed bicycle with no freewheel. This is the overall genus.

There are then species within this genus such as Polobike, trick bike, fixed MTB, fixed CX etc etc - including the BADGE of the hipster / fakenger which is a fixed vintage road frame with stupid little cut-down flat bars with BMX grips on them.

Let me clarify for you:

"SimonAH what bike do you ride" asked DDD

SimonAH's answers could be any of the following:

"I ride a fixed speed with a pullback handlebar"

"I ride a fixed speed with a mostache style handlebar"

"I ride a fixed speed bike"

and

"I ride a fixed speed with a bullhorn handlebar"

I hope this helps.

And Rich, in a public discussion about sexual preferences no one ever says/admits "that bum bum stuff, quite like that." Even if we all do. Same thing with CX bikes really. We know it exists, they may even be enjoyable but they will always remain taboo.

lfcquin

DonDaddyD wrote:

Fixed Gear, fixed or "fixie" is exactly like a single speed but doesn't have a freehub in the back wheel. If you stop pedaling the wheel stops moving and you essentially skid or get thrown over the handlebars seperating your shoulder, requiring an operation and 8-10 weeks of limited or no riding.

Fixed that. (said the man currently at home in a sling feeling sorry for himself)

lfcquin

DonDaddyD wrote:

Fixed Gear, fixed or "fixie" is exactly like a single speed but doesn't have a freehub in the back wheel. If you stop pedaling the wheel stops moving and you essentially skid or get thrown over the handlebars seperating your shoulder, requiring an operation and 8-10 weeks of limited or no riding.

Fixed that. (said the man currently at home in a sling feeling sorry for himself)

bails87

DonDaddyD wrote:

A road bike is a bike like you see on the Tour de France.

Ridden in the Tour de France:

pangolin

DonDaddyD wrote:

Let me clarify for you:

"SimonAH what bike do you ride" asked DDD

SimonAH's answers could be any of the following:

"I ride a fixed speed with a pullback handlebar"

"I ride a fixed speed with a mostache style handlebar"

"I ride a fixed speed bike"

and

"I ride a fixed speed with a bullhorn handlebar"

I hope this helps.

How do you know what speed bike you are buying? Do they say on the tag in the shop? Hmm this 12.5mph model looks easy to handle, but the 25mph will get me to work faster. The 25mph will be a lot more dangerous when filtering though.

I think I'll stick to my fixed gear, contrary to popular belief it actually allows for a range of speeds.

It is a fixed gear road bike with bullhorn handlebars 23mm tyres 2 brakes and a white saddle by the way. And it sometimes has lights.

DonDaddyD

bails87 wrote:

DonDaddyD wrote:

A road bike is a bike like you see on the Tour de France.

Ridden in the Tour de France:

Allow me to clarify,

"What bike do you ride" Asked DDD

"I ride an old school [specification] fixie [classification] that was ridden in the Tour de France" Said the Ironic Fakenger

"Cool man so you're into vintage bikes" Said DDD

"Nah I'm just one of those ironic fakengers, I'm trying to make a statement by wearing tweed and clothing that my Great Grandfather would have worn in an effort to be trendy amongst the trendies in a, most importantly, ironic kind of way". Droned on the Ironic Fakenger.

I hope this helps.

Kieran_Burns

I swear to God this bloody place gets more aspie every day.

Sometimes it's like being in a room full of bloody train-spotters and you dare ask one of them "why is steam better?" or being in a CAMRA pub and asking for a beer.

IT'S A BLOODY BIKE YOU BUNCH OF ANALLY RETENTIVE NIT-PICKING SPOTTY HERBERTS.

I'm going to go and have a pee and make myself a cup of tea; when I come back you all better be behaving.

jds_1981

lfcquin wrote:

DonDaddyD wrote:

Fixed Gear, fixed or "fixie" is exactly like a single speed but doesn't have a freehub in the back wheel. If you stop pedaling the wheel stops moving and you essentially skid or get thrown over the handlebars seperating your shoulder, requiring an operation and 8-10 weeks of limited or no riding.

Fixed that. (said the man currently at home in a sling feeling sorry for himself)

Did you stay attached to the bike?

DonDaddyD

pangolin wrote:

DonDaddyD wrote:

Let me clarify for you:

"SimonAH what bike do you ride" asked DDD

SimonAH's answers could be any of the following:

"I ride a fixed speed with a pullback handlebar"

"I ride a fixed speed with a mostache style handlebar"

"I ride a fixed speed bike"

and

"I ride a fixed speed with a bullhorn handlebar"

I hope this helps.

How do you know what speed bike you are buying? Do they say on the tag in the shop? Hmm this 12.5mph model looks easy to handle, but the 25mph will get me to work faster. The 25mph will be a lot more dangerous when filtering though.

I think I'll stick to my fixed gear, contrary to popular belief it actually allows for a range of speeds.

It is a fixed gear road bike with bullhorn handlebars 23mm tyres 2 brakes and a white saddle by the way. And it sometimes has lights.

I meant fixed gear, but now you understand and so perfectly demonstrated the importance of (i) specifying clearly what type and (ii) getting it right.

My work is done.

Clever Pun

A single speed bike has no place on the track and the majority on the road have flat handlebars not drops. and a varying number of brakes

Drops are not essential for fixed gear bikes... ever seen a polo player on drops? ever seen a mountain/frankenbike conversion with drops? No very often.

jds_1981

Kieran_Burns wrote:

Sometimes it's like being in a room full of bloody train-spotters and you dare ask one of them "why is steam better?" or being in a CAMRA pub and asking for a beer.

Ah, I went to a real ale festival once & asked for an ale shandy. Got a funny look but still served.

pangolin

If your work is starting a thread about the exact definition of different bikes and then referring to them by the wrong name, then yes it is done.

I think I'm going to refer to my

fixed gear road bike with bullhorn handlebars 23mm tyres 2 brakes and a white saddle

as a road bike because FGRBWBH23MMTAAWS is a bit of a mouthful.

Rich158

Kieran_Burns wrote:

IT'S A BLOODY BIKE YOU BUNCH OF ANALLY RETENTIVE NIT-PICKING SPOTTY HERBERTS.

Not when it's a CX bike. There's a reason they're collectively called crossers

and they're delightfully easy to wind up

DonDaddyD

Clever Pun wrote:

A single speed bike has no place on the track and the majority on the road have flat handlebars not drops. and a varying number of brakes

Drops are not essential for fixed gear bikes... ever seen a polo player on drops? ever seen a mountain/frankenbike conversion with drops? No very often.

Bollocks. Pearson Douche - drops, Cannondale Capon - drops, Specialized Langster - drops. They were based on track bikes or track bikes were based on them.

I don't make the rules I just play by them, hate the game.

Pangolin rides a Fixed gear with bullhorns. Or a "fixie with bully bars" to appease his inner skinny jeans fakenger.

rubertoe

Rich158 wrote:

Kieran_Burns wrote:

IT'S A BLOODY BIKE YOU BUNCH OF ANALLY RETENTIVE NIT-PICKING SPOTTY HERBERTS.

Not when it's a CX bike. There's a reason they're collectively called crossers

and they're delightfully easy to wind up :lol:

DDD didnt specify anything about wind up bikes...

rjsterry

DonDaddyD wrote:

Clever Pun wrote:

A single speed bike has no place on the track and the majority on the road have flat handlebars not drops. and a varying number of brakes

Drops are not essential for fixed gear bikes... ever seen a polo player on drops? ever seen a mountain/frankenbike conversion with drops? No very often.

Bollocks. Pearson Douche - drops, Cannondale Capon - drops, Specialized Langster - drops. They were based on track bikes or track bikes were based on them.

I don't make the rules I just play by them, hate the game.

Pangolin rides a Fixed gear with bullhorns. Or a "fixie with bully bars" to appease his inner skinny jeans fakenger.

Eh? Have you even seen a track bike? They aren't just fixed road bikes with no brakes.

Origamist

Fixed gear! What is worng with the world? It's a fixed wheel: you can't freewheel.

Not sure whether to blame fakengers or linguistic drift for this sorry state of affairs.

il_principe

DonDaddyD wrote:

Clever Pun wrote:

A single speed bike has no place on the track and the majority on the road have flat handlebars not drops. and a varying number of brakes

Drops are not essential for fixed gear bikes... ever seen a polo player on drops? ever seen a mountain/frankenbike conversion with drops? No very often.

Bollocks. Pearson Douche - drops, Cannondale Capon - drops, Specialized Langster - drops. They were based on track bikes or track bikes were based on them.

I don't make the rules I just play by them, hate the game.

Pangolin rides a Fixed gear with bullhorns. Or a "fixie with bully bars" to appease his inner skinny jeans fakenger.

Bollocks:

Pearson website:

We offer two options on the handlebars: either dropped bars in a choice of widths with the very comfortable Cane Creek aero levers or upturned moscow type bars with time trial brake levers.

And here's what a search for the 'dale came up with:



:P

Clever Pun

DonDaddyD wrote:

Clever Pun wrote:

A single speed bike has no place on the track and the majority on the road have flat handlebars not drops. and a varying number of brakes

Drops are not essential for fixed gear bikes... ever seen a polo player on drops? ever seen a mountain/frankenbike conversion with drops? No very often.

Bollocks. Pearson Douche - drops, Cannondale Capon - drops, Specialized Langster - drops. They were based on track bikes or track bikes were based on them.

I don't make the rules I just play by them, hate the game.

Pangolin rides a Fixed gear with bullhorns. Or a "fixie with bully bars" to appease his inner skinny jeans fakenger.

all very nice bikes.. almost top end bikes you could say, what about all the dross create and the crap that students buy.. there's an awful lot of cheaply made fixie skidderz bikes out there

I'm right next to foffa bikes for example and they don't do any of their models with drops

DonDaddyD

Il Principe wrote:

And here's what a search for the 'dale came up with:



:P[/quote]

The poisonous influence of the fakenger has led us to this.

Urgh....

Clever Pun

face it DDD, you don't even ride one if I rmemeber rightly, you don't know jack about this.

Having been out on lfgss drinks, drops are only used by track riders or roadie converts the rest are all flats and there's a lot more of em

bigmat

rjsterry wrote:

DonDaddyD wrote:

Clever Pun wrote:

A single speed bike has no place on the track and the majority on the road have flat handlebars not drops. and a varying number of brakes

Drops are not essential for fixed gear bikes... ever seen a polo player on drops? ever seen a mountain/frankenbike conversion with drops? No very often.

Bollocks. Pearson Douche - drops, Cannondale Capon - drops, Specialized Langster - drops. They were based on track bikes or track bikes were based on them.

I don't make the rules I just play by them, hate the game.

Pangolin rides a Fixed gear with bullhorns. Or a "fixie with bully bars" to appease his inner skinny jeans fakenger.

Eh? Have you even seen a track bike? They aren't just fixed road bikes with no brakes.

They kind of are, aren't they? I mean you could commute on a track bike, and race on a fixed road bike once the brakes have been removed.

Clever Pun

Bikes: Have 1 or more wheels and have pedals

there you go. That's a definition.

No they don't all have seats or handle bars or brakes

lfcquin

jds_1981 wrote:

lfcquin wrote:

DonDaddyD wrote:

Fixed Gear, fixed or "fixie" is exactly like a single speed but doesn't have a freehub in the back wheel. If you stop pedaling the wheel stops moving and you essentially skid or get thrown over the handlebars seperating your shoulder, requiring an operation and 8-10 weeks of limited or no riding.

Fixed that. (said the man currently at home in a sling feeling sorry for himself)

Did you stay attached to the bike?

Nope. Flat pedals (no clips) meant the bike and I went our seperate ways.