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I touched something I shouldn't have

DonDaddyDDonDaddyD Posts: 12,689
edited September 2011 in Commuting chat
Got to Liverpool street, dismounted and headed towards the escalator. Standing beside my bike - so I'm a little further out - on the escalator my arm is swinging as I often have to move a limb after a ride or I feel "crampy". Anyway, a woman is walking down the escalator. My arms swinging and as she is about to pass me my arm swings backwards and my hand cupped her 'vajayjay'. :?

Dressed in lycra and sweating I thought it wasn't going to end well. I froze, she said "sorry" and then "excuse me" and continues down the escalator.

That could have ended so badly.

I'm now off to buy a lottery ticket! :D
Food Chain number = 4

A true scalp is not only overtaking someone but leaving them stopped at a set of lights. As you, who have clearly beaten the lights, pummels nothing but the open air ahead. ~ 'DondaddyD'. Player of the Unspoken Game
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Posts

  • chadders81chadders81 Posts: 744
    You must have felt a bit of a t w a t.

    Sorry for the language. Somebody had to say it.
  • SimonAHSimonAH Posts: 3,730
    All you needed to do was to tell her that you are a healer;

    Therapeutictouch.jpg
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    Smoke me a kipper, I'll be back for breakfast.
  • DrLexDrLex Posts: 2,142
    "Please indicate to the court using this doll where the defendant touched you..."
    Location: ciderspace
  • And that m'lud is the case for the prosecution ....
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  • Kieran_BurnsKieran_Burns Posts: 9,757
    Actually - Don felt a bit of a c0ck... he just hasn't dared mention this bit yet.

    :wink:
    Chunky Cyclists need your love too! :-)
    2009 Specialized Tricross Sport
    2011 Trek Madone 4.5
    2012 Felt F65X
    Proud CX Pervert and quiet roadie. 12 mile commuter
  • nicklousenicklouse Posts: 50,675 Lives Here
    that is taking titty cricket to a whole new level. :wink:
    "Do not follow where the path may lead, Go instead where there is no path, and Leave a Trail."
    Parktools :?:SheldonBrown
  • cornerblockcornerblock Posts: 3,228
    Hope you touched her oyster on the way out too, otherwise she'll be charged the maximum fare!.
  • Keith1983Keith1983 Posts: 575
    Thank the lord that she didn't notice you sniffing your fingers afterwards!
  • ceecee Posts: 4,553
    DonDaddyD wrote:

    Dressed in lycra and sweating I thought it wasn't going to end well. I froze, she said "sorry" and then "excuse me" and continues down the escalator.

    Wait.....

    You did 'un-hand' her before you froze.....right?

    :D
    Whenever I see an adult on a bicycle, I believe in the future of the human race.

    H.G. Wells.
  • Kieran_BurnsKieran_Burns Posts: 9,757
    cee wrote:
    DonDaddyD wrote:

    Dressed in lycra and sweating I thought it wasn't going to end well. I froze, she said "sorry" and then "excuse me" and continues down the escalator.

    Wait.....

    You did 'un-hand' her before you froze.....right?

    :D

    "Excuse me Sir, I do believe you have my box in your hand"
    "Why Madam, I do believe you are correct"
    Chunky Cyclists need your love too! :-)
    2009 Specialized Tricross Sport
    2011 Trek Madone 4.5
    2012 Felt F65X
    Proud CX Pervert and quiet roadie. 12 mile commuter
  • clarkey catclarkey cat Posts: 3,641
    you fed a stranger's donkey on an escalator in public?

    you, sir, are a fiend.
  • notsobluenotsoblue Posts: 5,838
    you fed a stranger's donkey on an escalator in public?

    you, sir, are a fiend.

    :lol:
  • medoramasmedoramas Posts: 202
    Well, that's definitely the fanniest story on the forum... ;)
  • SimonAHSimonAH Posts: 3,730
    notsoblue wrote:
    you fed a stranger's donkey on an escalator in public?

    you, sir, are a fiend.

    :lol:

    I Googled this thinking it would be something totally foul on Urban Dictionary - top link was a heartwarming story of two men walking across the north of england with a donkey to raise money for the stroke association.
    FCN 5 belt driven fixie for city bits
    CAADX 105 beastie for bumpy bits
    Litespeed L3 for Strava bits

    Smoke me a kipper, I'll be back for breakfast.
  • DonDaddyDDonDaddyD Posts: 12,689
    cee wrote:
    DonDaddyD wrote:

    Dressed in lycra and sweating I thought it wasn't going to end well. I froze, she said "sorry" and then "excuse me" and continues down the escalator.

    Wait.....

    You did 'un-hand' her before you froze.....right?

    :D

    Nope. Long enough for me to realise where my hand was, not long enough for it to become more awkward than it was.

    Time well spent.
    Food Chain number = 4

    A true scalp is not only overtaking someone but leaving them stopped at a set of lights. As you, who have clearly beaten the lights, pummels nothing but the open air ahead. ~ 'DondaddyD'. Player of the Unspoken Game
  • SimonAHSimonAH Posts: 3,730
    Aha, my search window was too specific.

    http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.p ... d+a+donkey
    FCN 5 belt driven fixie for city bits
    CAADX 105 beastie for bumpy bits
    Litespeed L3 for Strava bits

    Smoke me a kipper, I'll be back for breakfast.
  • Keith1983Keith1983 Posts: 575
    SimonAH wrote:
    notsoblue wrote:
    you fed a stranger's donkey on an escalator in public?

    you, sir, are a fiend.

    :lol:

    I Googled this thinking it would be something totally foul on Urban Dictionary - top link was a heartwarming story of two men walking across the north of england with a donkey to raise money for the stroke association.

    The Stroke Association?

    As in medical condition or as in the action to Stroke? It may have been move devious than you originally thought?
  • notsobluenotsoblue Posts: 5,838
    DonDaddyD wrote:
    cee wrote:
    DonDaddyD wrote:

    Dressed in lycra and sweating I thought it wasn't going to end well. I froze, she said "sorry" and then "excuse me" and continues down the escalator.

    Wait.....

    You did 'un-hand' her before you froze.....right?

    :D

    Nope. Long enough for me to realise where my hand was, not long enough for it to become more awkward than it was.

    Time well spent.

    Dear diary,

    Jack Pot.
  • clarkey catclarkey cat Posts: 3,641
    raise money for the stroke association

    Yes, well, quite.
  • bails87bails87 Posts: 12,998
    raise money for the stroke association

    Yes, well, quite.

    So now all I can think of is DDD cornering some poor woman on the tube, hands fidgetting in pockets, saying "Can you help me? I'm having a stroke....."
    MTB/CX

    "As I said last time, it won't happen again."
  • PufftmwPufftmw Posts: 1,941
    DonDaddyD wrote:
    Got to Liverpool street, dismounted and headed towards the escalator. Standing beside my bike - so I'm a little further out - on the escalator my arm is swinging as I often have to move a limb after a ride or I feel "crampy". Anyway, a woman is walking down the escalator. My arms swinging and as she is about to pass me my arm swings backwards and my hand cupped her 'vajayjay'. :?

    Dressed in lycra and sweating I thought it wasn't going to end well. I froze, she said "sorry" and then "excuse me" and continues down the escalator.

    That could have ended so badly.

    I'm now off to buy a lottery ticket! :D

    Begs the question, would you like your hand to have stayed there or did you immediately think about rushing off and disinfecting it?
  • clarkey catclarkey cat Posts: 3,641
    You do know ladies cant get pregnant this way dont you?
  • MonkeyMonsterMonkeyMonster Posts: 4,628
    You do know ladies cant get pregnant this way dont you?

    points to ms DDD...
    Le Cannon [98 Cannondale M400] [FCN: 8]
    The Mad Monkey [2013 Hoy 003] [FCN: 4]
  • hmbadgerhmbadger Posts: 181
    DonDaddyD wrote:
    Got to Liverpool street, dismounted and headed towards the escalator. Standing beside my bike - so I'm a little further out - on the escalator my arm is swinging as I often have to move a limb after a ride or I feel "crampy". Anyway, a woman is walking down the escalator. My arms swinging and as she is about to pass me my arm swings backwards and my hand cupped her 'vajayjay'. :?

    Dressed in lycra and sweating I thought it wasn't going to end well. I froze, she said "sorry" and then "excuse me" and continues down the escalator.

    That could have ended so badly.

    I'm now off to buy a lottery ticket! :D

    This didn't happen, did it? Just an excuse for you to start another thread about women's genitalia. Pathetic.
  • DonDaddyDDonDaddyD Posts: 12,689
    hmbadger wrote:
    DonDaddyD wrote:
    Got to Liverpool street, dismounted and headed towards the escalator. Standing beside my bike - so I'm a little further out - on the escalator my arm is swinging as I often have to move a limb after a ride or I feel "crampy". Anyway, a woman is walking down the escalator. My arms swinging and as she is about to pass me my arm swings backwards and my hand cupped her 'vajayjay'. :?

    Dressed in lycra and sweating I thought it wasn't going to end well. I froze, she said "sorry" and then "excuse me" and continues down the escalator.

    That could have ended so badly.

    I'm now off to buy a lottery ticket! :D

    This didn't happen, did it? Just an excuse for you to start another thread about women's genitalia. Pathetic.

    You're right. (Simply to prove my truthfulness to the Internet) Perhaps next time I should ask the fair lady to wait a second while I get my phone out to take a picture of my hand attached to her crotch!

    Still, I think I've spent a fair amount of time with the female genitalia in recent months not to want or need to lie about it - unless I'm lying about that too!

    :roll:

    Jeez, the grumble bums are out in force today.

    Gonna go ride my bike.
    Food Chain number = 4

    A true scalp is not only overtaking someone but leaving them stopped at a set of lights. As you, who have clearly beaten the lights, pummels nothing but the open air ahead. ~ 'DondaddyD'. Player of the Unspoken Game
  • joelsimjoelsim Posts: 7,552
    Sounds like a bit of a hairy moment.
  • InitialisedInitialised Posts: 3,047
    On the other hand it could have ended orgasmically.
    I used to just ride my bike to work but now I find myself going out looking for bigger and bigger hills.
  • dhopedhope Posts: 6,699
    DonDaddyD wrote:
    Still, I think I've spent a fair amount of time with the female genitalia in recent months not to want or need to lie about it - unless I'm lying about that too!
    And after the magical birth then covert groping on the escalator is as close as you'll get for a while ;)
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  • Stevo_666Stevo_666 Posts: 49,330
    You should have followed up by shouting "Lads, that one just failed the 'Crocodile Dundee' test".
    "I spent most of my money on birds, booze and fast cars: the rest of it I just squandered." [George Best]
  • EKE_38BPMEKE_38BPM Posts: 5,821
    Stevo 666 wrote:
    You should have followed up by shouting "Lads, that one just failed the 'Crocodile Dundee' test".

    She passed Mick Dundee's test, surely? A failure would have been feeling meat and two veg.
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    I'm hungry. I'm always hungry!
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