Can you fart when cycling.
DonDaddyD
Posts: 12,689
On the subject of farting:
I can't fart when cycling.
I think it's due to the crunched position of my stomach but it's something that I find nigh impossible to do. If I do manage to squeeze it's a struggle and not a real fart. When I get home it's quite normal to let one go as though it's been building from work to home just waiting to piss Mrs DDD off.
Is this (not being able to fart why cycling) unusual? Has anyone else encountered this?
What other bodily things have you noticed that you can't whilst cycling?
I can't fart when cycling.
I think it's due to the crunched position of my stomach but it's something that I find nigh impossible to do. If I do manage to squeeze it's a struggle and not a real fart. When I get home it's quite normal to let one go as though it's been building from work to home just waiting to piss Mrs DDD off.
Is this (not being able to fart why cycling) unusual? Has anyone else encountered this?
What other bodily things have you noticed that you can't whilst cycling?
Food Chain number = 4
A true scalp is not only overtaking someone but leaving them stopped at a set of lights. As you, who have clearly beaten the lights, pummels nothing but the open air ahead. ~ 'DondaddyD'. Player of the Unspoken Game
A true scalp is not only overtaking someone but leaving them stopped at a set of lights. As you, who have clearly beaten the lights, pummels nothing but the open air ahead. ~ 'DondaddyD'. Player of the Unspoken Game
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Comments
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Haha best thread ever (yet to read the Inappropriate erection thread)
This is true. :P0 -
Nothing applicable here.
It must be a Friday afternoon!
None of the above should be taken seriously, and certainly not personally.0 -
I wouldn't risk it.This post contains traces of nuts.0
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I can and do fart on the bike. Running makes me fart too.
Can't remember getting a stiffy on a bike...I used to just ride my bike to work but now I find myself going out looking for bigger and bigger hills.0 -
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Not with any confidence“New York has the haircuts, London has the trousers, but Belfast has the reason!0
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Initialised wrote:Can't remember getting a stiffy on a bike...
Not just me then... I've needed to hear that (and wanted to ask) since 2009 but was too afraid...Food Chain number = 4
A true scalp is not only overtaking someone but leaving them stopped at a set of lights. As you, who have clearly beaten the lights, pummels nothing but the open air ahead. ~ 'DondaddyD'. Player of the Unspoken Game0 -
I find I cant stop trumping after a rideBoardman Hybrid Pro
Planet X XLS0 -
I can, but have to stop pedaling (coast), and tilt my arse sideways slightly.
The finer points of farting on a bicycle - the wonders of the internet!0 -
Raise out of saddle, fart, lower. Always happens after 30 seconds in the saddle every morning. Don't think the neighbours notice.0
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Stand on pedals
Push
Flatulate
Sit down
Simples
Mind you, my veggie diet does tend to produce a greater fart to weight ratio so there's no holding back most of the timeChunky Cyclists need your love too! :-)
2009 Specialized Tricross Sport
2011 Trek Madone 4.5
2012 Felt F65X
Proud CX Pervert and quiet roadie. 12 mile commuter0 -
Kieran_Burns wrote:Stand on pedals
Push
Flatulate
Sit down
Simples
Mind you, my veggie diet does tend to produce a greater fart to weight ratio so there's no holding back most of the time
Your riding partner really does have an incentive to get back to his previous level of fitness then...0 -
Not saying I have a flatuance problem, but I have been confused with a 2-stroke moped and use odour eaters as chamois pads.
Strangely I'm rarely drafted for long. :shock:Nobody told me we had a communication problem0 -
Every year on my training camp in Mallorca there is one mate who thinks it's hilarious to let rip when we are in tight formation doing through and off, bit and bit, chain gaing, call it what you will. There is nothing worse than being behind him when it happens, 2 foott away from his ar*e, down wind and usually gasping for breath trying to keep up.
Through and off, more like follow through really.0 -
What other bodily functions can one not do on a bicycle??? What???
All I wish to do is pant a bit and achieve that seemingly without effort.
Oh, and now and then take a sip from my patented in-frame water holder...FCN 5 belt driven fixie for city bits
CAADX 105 beastie for bumpy bits
Litespeed L3 for Strava bits
Smoke me a kipper, I'll be back for breakfast.0 -
Even worse when running, 4 or 5 small trumps in tune with my stride. Happens to most in my club actually, exept the ladies...I think they drop back to let rip then catch up.0
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If you look very closely, you can see the effects of a cycle fart on a GPS data download......Faster than a tent.......0
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essex-commuter wrote:Even worse when running, 4 or 5 small trumps in tune with my stride. Happens to most in my club actually, exept the ladies...I think they drop back to let rip then catch up.
I never risk it when running.
When cycling it's easy.Mud - Genesis Vapour CCX
Race - Fuji Norcom Straight
Sun - Cervelo R3
Winter / Commute - Dolan ADX0 -
DonDaddyD wrote:I can't fart when cycling.
Is this a physical (my buns are too tight), or a mental (embarassment) thing?
If the latter, perhaps you could get an airzound to provide cover (like whistling in a public loo?)Nobody told me we had a communication problem0 -
It's noticeably more difficult when riding fixed.0
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Initialised wrote:I
Can't remember getting a stiffy on a bike...
Trust me, you'd remember.Nobody told me we had a communication problem0 -
_Brun_ wrote:It's noticeably more difficult when riding fixed.
I wonder if you can do it on a hybrid? Perhaps there is a correlation between ease of release and whether you ride dropped, hybrid, mountain or fixed. Must be easy on a bent, just like sitting on the sofa watching telly.0 -
_Brun_ wrote:It's noticeably more difficult when riding fixed.
and even more socially unacceptable on a tandem“New York has the haircuts, London has the trousers, but Belfast has the reason!0 -
You can't fart on a hybrid without following through. That's one more reason they're wrong.0
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I don't seem to fart while cycling, instead my body tends to save it up ready for when I get off my back when I get home...the garage has now become a 'sterile area' in which I can let one go before I go into the house. :shock:
Officers don't run, it's undignified and panics the men0 -
NGale wrote:I don't seem to fart while cycling, instead my body tends to save it up ready for when I get off my back when I get home...the garage has now become a 'sterile area' in which I can let one go before I go into the house. :shock:
Look, just stop it. Stop it now. It is fine for blokes to talk about farting. It is not OK for burds to join in*. OK?
* unless to express horror that such things as farts exist!Faster than a tent.......0 -
Rolf F wrote:NGale wrote:I don't seem to fart while cycling, instead my body tends to save it up ready for when I get off my back when I get home...the garage has now become a 'sterile area' in which I can let one go before I go into the house. :shock:
Look, just stop it. Stop it now. It is fine for blokes to talk about farting. It is not OK for burds to join in*. OK?
* unless to express horror that such things as farts exist!
Unfortunately with my digestive problem the after effects are an inevitable part of the problem
Anyway us burds fart as well, we just don't leave a toxic smell unlike you blokes who seem to think it's the done thing to turn your guts inside out. Officers don't run, it's undignified and panics the men0 -
NGale wrote:Rolf F wrote:NGale wrote:I don't seem to fart while cycling, instead my body tends to save it up ready for when I get off my back when I get home...the garage has now become a 'sterile area' in which I can let one go before I go into the house. :shock:
Look, just stop it. Stop it now. It is fine for blokes to talk about farting. It is not OK for burds to join in*. OK?
* unless to express horror that such things as farts exist!
Unfortunately with my digestive problem the after effects are an inevitable part of the problem
Anyway us burds fart as well, we just don't leave a toxic smell unlike you blokes who seem to think it's the done thing to turn your guts inside out.
Yeah right.
My ex-wife could strip wallpaper at 50 paces with the gases that came out of her arse.Chunky Cyclists need your love too! :-)
2009 Specialized Tricross Sport
2011 Trek Madone 4.5
2012 Felt F65X
Proud CX Pervert and quiet roadie. 12 mile commuter0 -
Kieran_Burns wrote:NGale wrote:Rolf F wrote:NGale wrote:I don't seem to fart while cycling, instead my body tends to save it up ready for when I get off my back when I get home...the garage has now become a 'sterile area' in which I can let one go before I go into the house. :shock:
Look, just stop it. Stop it now. It is fine for blokes to talk about farting. It is not OK for burds to join in*. OK?
* unless to express horror that such things as farts exist!
Unfortunately with my digestive problem the after effects are an inevitable part of the problem
Anyway us burds fart as well, we just don't leave a toxic smell unlike you blokes who seem to think it's the done thing to turn your guts inside out.
Yeah right.
My ex-wife could strip wallpaper at 50 paces with the gases that came out of her ars*.
Hence why she is an ex and most likely possibly post op :roll: Officers don't run, it's undignified and panics the men0
