Know your enemy - a guide to other road users
Comments
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lost_in_thought wrote:RichardSwt wrote:I think Addison Lee drivers (AKA The Black Ford Galaxys of Doom) deserve a special mention.
The large "Addison Lee" logo on the back is not corporate branding, but there as a warning to other road users.
Agreed! Great post, SS.
+1, have to agree whenever I see the logo I hang back waiting for the lane switch- without mirror, signal!
Had to laugh when I saw this in Anti-Rants.
deptfordmarmoset wrote:
I just had a good-natured chat with an Addison Lee driver at the lights.
I wasn't expecting that. I don't expect you were either...0 -
Mercedes' in New Malden seem particularly bad, but very localised.
Regarding deer I think the Royal Parks variety should be added, not so much the little Fallow Deer but the larger Red Deer. As per this thread: http://www.bikeradar.com/forums/viewtopic.php?f=40012&t=12813454
Bushy Park is much like Richmond Park, but smaller and flatter.0 -
I definitely think deer should be added. Take a look at this:http://www.cyclingweekly.co.uk/news/latest/531027/15-year-old-cyclist-killed-after-colliding-with-deer.html
Extremely remote possibiity of that happening, a real freak accident. Very sad story.0 -
Thought I'd update this old chestnut as I'd missed out one of the newer evils on our roads!I thought it might be useful to noobs on here to get a quick guide to other road users. So here is the definitive guide, complete with a “risk rating” out of 10, where the higher the score, the more life-threatening they are to the average cyclist…(note that the below is written with major cities in mind). Enjoy, but be careful out there…
Lorries: generally well driven and prefer straight lines, awareness suffers due to their size. Catastrophic blind spots, however – those little signs on the back about “if you can’t see my mirrors…” should be observed and the advice followed. Risk rating: generally a 5 unless on an open road (8). 10 if you’re daft enough to crawl up the inside of one that’s turning left…
Van Drivers AKA undiagnosed psychopaths in transit: beware smaller vans “driven” by builders/plumbers where more nimble means more dangerous. Typical behaviours include non-functioning indicators/brake lights/reversing lights/lights in general, darting across lanes, sudden left turns, RLJing etc. Verbal abuse to all and sundry inevitable, regardless of whether person in question is in the right. Risk rating: 9 +1 for white and small vans
Cars (private, good condition): depending on the driver, usually fine if you behave yourself. Awareness of bikes and the needs thereof not good, however…so: Risk Rating: normal: 6. Driver over 65+1. Driver under 21 +2. Driver on mobile +4.
Cars (chavvy pimped-up MaxPower): remember the equation: [size of exhaust] x [volume of music played] is inversely proportional to driver skill. Donor cards should be mandatory for all drivers and their passengers. Risk Rating: 10
Cars (private, tatty): the car reflects the driver. Avoid like a wet manhole cover. Likely to be driven erratically, taking out anything in its path. Risk Rating: 9
Buses: have mirrors for decoration only. Not so much beset by blind spots as "not bothering to look" spots. Drivers drive with invisible blinkers on, use of turn signals usually instantly followed by a change of direction, regardless of approaching traffic, ambulances, width of road, etc. Occasional encounters with low bridges can be messy. Best to give a wide berth. Risk Rating: 9
Taxis (London black cab): driven by the self-proclaimed “best drivers in the world”. Reality is that they are driven by Daily Mail loving self-centred loons, who will cut up bikes, cars, other taxis, ambulances on a shout and anything else that dares to get in their way. However, rarely seem to actually HIT anything…Risk Rating: 7, but +2 in heavy traffic as passengers likely to open doors and de-camp without looking…
Taxis (other, including private hire): as for London cabbies, without the driving skill. Stay several miles away from these. Risk rating: 9
Motorbike (courier): they know the score, take calculated risks and have the scars to prove it. However, usually self-employed so will avoid life-threatening manoeuvres on the whole. But will dive for a gap like a pigeon dives on a loaf of Warburtons. Risk rating: 6
Motorbike (non-courier): most commonly seem to be ridden by middle aged men these days. More power than (road) sense. Erratic lane changes a speciality. Risk Rating: 7, but +2 if not wearing full PPE (leathers, boots, etc.). +1 if it’s raining.
Scooter: rin-nin-nin-nin-nin zoom zoom zoom. All ridden as if the other traffic is only virtual. Riders generally seem intent on keeping paramedics in gainful employment. No gap too small, no cutting-up opportunity too good to miss. Avoid like the plague. Risk rating: 9. +1 if suited and booted and wearing trendy helmet. +infinity if rider’s plums not fully descended.
Cyclist (courier): all mental. Red lights, pedestrian crossings, pedestrians, none apply. Only vaguely sensible when going home, i.e. off duty. Otherwise absolute biscuit-copulators (i.e. f**king crackers). Unlikely to actually hit you, though…Risk rating: 7
Cyclist (other (excl. Boris bikes)): huge variation, ranging from lycra fiends to fakengers to basket toting dodderers. Generally harmless but there are exceptions. Risk rating: 6, but +1 for fakengers and +2 for BMXs. +3 if bike obviously stolen (e.g. bike has SPDs but rider wearing jeans and trainers). +4 if ridden at under walking pace on clear road. + 1 if RLJ, using headphones, have a basket, etc.
Cyclist (Boris bike): a bit London specific, but should those of you lucky enough never to enter the M25 ever change your minds…anyway, usually ridden by people with only a vague grasp on the joys of balance. Seem to have the directional sense of a shopping trolley. Avoid. Risk rating: 9.
Pedestrians: lemmings. All of them. Assume they WILL step out in front of you. Bells totally pointless, shouting usually best…Risk rating: 9 but + several million if they have a headphones and / or mobile phone in use.
Emergency vehicles: you know what to do. If you're in the way, you get what you deserve. Risk rating: 10.
Pigeons: catastrophically stupid. More unpredictable than the accuracy of a Met forecast. Despite near 360-degree vision, seem incapable of seeing bikes. Unlikely to cause a fatal collision, but extremely messy to clean off your bike. Risk rating: 3
New improved - Rural riders options!
Horses: the 4 legged equivalent of a caravan, the barely controllable ridden by the probably certifiable. Unpredictable and lethal, rather like a bus but more likely to emit poo. Risk rating: 9
[b}Sheep:[/b] Intensely stupid, same lemming tendencies as pedestrians (see above), although less likely to wear headphones. Risk rating: 7
Cows: like a slower moving horse, sans rider. Same rules apply. Poo quotient exponentially increased. Risk rating: 3
Pheasants: the rural equivalent of pigeons, see above.
New - updated!!!! (London specific)
Scooters (3-wheel): As for regular scooters, but with more lunatic ability to turn on a sixpence. Never use mirrors, relying instead on a system of meaningless beeps emitting from their controls. Risk rating: 9 (+1 if they've got one of those skirt things on)
It's just a hill. Get over it.0
