OT - Depression

Flyingbogey

My wife (experienced GP) has looked at your OP and thinks its a good idea to see your Dr. Lack of concentration and poor motivation are two classic symptoms of depression both of which can improve on the right medication. Hope you feel better soon.

lost_in_thought

Flyingbogey wrote:

My wife (experienced GP) has looked at your OP and thinks its a good idea to see your Dr. Lack of concentration and poor motivation are two classic symptoms of depression both of which can improve on the right medication. Hope you feel better soon.

Hey, right on schedule! Very efficient!

Chin up, OP, whatever route you take on the road to recovery there's a little community of people here to talk to.

Look after yourself, do pay your bills and perhaps take a step away from your ex - no point in inflicting unnecessary hurt on yourself. Sit outside in the sun, even, if you don't feel like walking, enjoy the simple pleasures, and remember it's OK to be sad once in a while.

You can always depend on the kindness of strangers....

DonDaddyD

Corporate Camper wrote:

I know it's way off topic, and possibly a bit of an odd post... but I've been reading these forums for a while and you seem to be a knowledgeable and friendly bunch.

I'm wondering in any of you have had any experience of depression.

My marriage (of about 11 years) ended last year and even now I'm not really coping very well. There isn't anything particularly dramatic going on, I just only seem to be functioning in a sort of vague and sporadic manner. I go to work, but there can be whole days where I can't seem to concentrate enough to actually make any progress at all. If any work related dramas occur I seem to be able to get myself in to gear and solve them, but anything routine or everyday tends to get left and I have a bit of a worrying backlog of stuff I can't quite bring myself to address.

At home I have slipped behind on paying bills, I just can't seem to concentrate enough to get the paperwork out and make the necessary arrangements. If something becomes urgent (a debt collector calls, or something gets cut off) then I seem to be able to get my head straight and sort it.

Most of my days seem to be spent in some sort of acute "mind fog" I just can't get myself going. If you met me you probably wouldn't know anything is wrong; I smile, I'm friendly and I like a laugh... I just can't seem to "do" anything.

I don't even get out on my bike these days; I come home from work and sleep a bit, watch a bit of telly and look at a laptop screen... and then go to bed

Is this what depression feels like? Or, could it be that I've just become very lazy?

I dare say that if I could force myself to get some exercise then I might feel better, but I'm struggling to convey exactly how hard it is for me to make myself do anything at the moment.

Can anyone help?

Jonny_Trousers wrote:

Sounds like depression to me. Go see your doctor and insist that he/she takes the matter seriously. The fact that you recognise you may have a problem is an excellent first step. You're probably right, also, that exercise would help you, but you really should seek professional advice too.

Good luck!

Great advice that. To build; your General Practitioner (GP) may refer you to a Psychologist/Psychiartrist/Counselling.

DDD wrote:

I'm putting this in a quote because I want to keep it seperate from the "professional" advice.

Personally and dependant on what I could and couldn't feasibly do, I would first change aspects surrounding my life. This could include, but not limited to, taking a sabatical from work or moving away or seeking a new job or a new hobby or all of the above in one go. Not sure what as it's subjective but what is certain is that things I didn't like or reminded me too much of the thing that hurt me would have to go. Life, for me is always about moving forward.

However the above is one (of many) methods of how I deal with my own issues. They are my solutions, your solutions may be different but there are solutions.

Personally (not professionally) I would avoid medication unless absolutely necessary - as in if I was bipolar.

PLEASE CLICK THIS LINK: NHS CHOICES: Depression

and also:

MIND (UK Charity) - I love these guys.

Please don't be put off by any perceived stigma attached to the word "mental health". We all have, had have or could have a mental health issues, ranging from minor to severe.

rjsterry

lost_in_thought wrote:

Flyingbogey wrote:

My wife (experienced GP) has looked at your OP and thinks its a good idea to see your Dr. Lack of concentration and poor motivation are two classic symptoms of depression both of which can improve on the right medication. Hope you feel better soon.

Hey, right on schedule! Very efficient!

Chin up, OP, whatever route you take on the road to recovery there's a little community of people here to talk to.

Look after yourself, do pay your bills and perhaps take a step away from your ex - no point in inflicting unnecessary hurt on yourself. Sit outside in the sun, even, if you don't feel like walking, enjoy the simple pleasures, and remember it's OK to be sad once in a while.

You can always depend on the kindness of strangers....

I'm not having a go at LiT here, but I think her post does, does hint at some of the misconceptions about depression. From the OP, it's clear that it's not just a case of feeling sad or needing to cheer up. Coincidentally, I was reading an article in the NCT newsletter about the incidence of post-natal depression in fathers. It's something that everyone is told to look out for in mothers, but is (wrongly) assumed not to affect dads. It's all the more difficult to spot as some of the symptoms are the same as those for the chronic sleep deprivation that often goes with being a new dad. Certainly some of the difficulty in concentrating and putting things off described in the OP sound familiar, albeit not on that scale and thankfully, now that the littl'un is sleeping properly the issues seem to be receding, so I think it was the sleep deprivation in this case, but it did make me stop and think.

Cafewanda

lost_in_thought wrote:

[

You can always depend on the kindness of strangers....

+1

Been my (part) saviours over the years. Am very grateful.

*except those who tease me about my (lack of) height :P

DonDaddyD

rjsterry wrote:

lost_in_thought wrote:

Flyingbogey wrote:

My wife (experienced GP) has looked at your OP and thinks its a good idea to see your Dr. Lack of concentration and poor motivation are two classic symptoms of depression both of which can improve on the right medication. Hope you feel better soon.

Hey, right on schedule! Very efficient!

Chin up, OP, whatever route you take on the road to recovery there's a little community of people here to talk to.

Look after yourself, do pay your bills and perhaps take a step away from your ex - no point in inflicting unnecessary hurt on yourself. Sit outside in the sun, even, if you don't feel like walking, enjoy the simple pleasures, and remember it's OK to be sad once in a while.

You can always depend on the kindness of strangers....

I'm not having a go at LiT here, but I think her post does, does hint at some of the misconceptions about depression. From the OP, it's clear that it's not just a case of feeling sad or needing to cheer up. Coincidentally, I was reading an article in the NCT newsletter about the incidence of post-natal depression in fathers. It's something that everyone is told to look out for in mothers, but is (wrongly) assumed not to affect dads. It's all the more difficult to spot as some of the symptoms are the same as those for the chronic sleep deprivation that often goes with being a new dad. Certainly some of the difficulty in concentrating and putting things off described in the OP sound familiar, albeit not on that scale and thankfully, now that the littl'un is sleeping properly the issues seem to be receding, so I think it was the sleep deprivation in this case, but it did make me stop and think.

At the same time LiT could have deep and personal experiences with depression and the sincere "chin up" term could just be a phrase booted about within her social circle. Like "yo blud" is a term thrown about in others...

Just saying.

Everthing else you said is +1!

Post-natal in fathers, who knew...

rjsterry

DonDaddyD wrote:

rjsterry wrote:

lost_in_thought wrote:

Flyingbogey wrote:

My wife (experienced GP) has looked at your OP and thinks its a good idea to see your Dr. Lack of concentration and poor motivation are two classic symptoms of depression both of which can improve on the right medication. Hope you feel better soon.

Hey, right on schedule! Very efficient!

Chin up, OP, whatever route you take on the road to recovery there's a little community of people here to talk to.

Look after yourself, do pay your bills and perhaps take a step away from your ex - no point in inflicting unnecessary hurt on yourself. Sit outside in the sun, even, if you don't feel like walking, enjoy the simple pleasures, and remember it's OK to be sad once in a while.

You can always depend on the kindness of strangers....

I'm not having a go at LiT here, but I think her post does, does hint at some of the misconceptions about depression. From the OP, it's clear that it's not just a case of feeling sad or needing to cheer up. Coincidentally, I was reading an article in the NCT newsletter about the incidence of post-natal depression in fathers. It's something that everyone is told to look out for in mothers, but is (wrongly) assumed not to affect dads. It's all the more difficult to spot as some of the symptoms are the same as those for the chronic sleep deprivation that often goes with being a new dad. Certainly some of the difficulty in concentrating and putting things off described in the OP sound familiar, albeit not on that scale and thankfully, now that the littl'un is sleeping properly the issues seem to be receding, so I think it was the sleep deprivation in this case, but it did make me stop and think.

At the same time LiT could have deep and personal experiences with depression and the sincere "chin up" term could just be a phrase booted about within her social circle. Like "yo blud" is a term thrown about in others...

Just saying.

Everthing else you said is +1!

Post-natal in fathers, who knew...

Absolutely, I'm sure it wasn't meant in a dismissive way; I was just highlighting that some people perceive depression as 'just being a bit down', when it's actually something quite different. Re. post-natal depression in fathers, anyone thinking that it might apply to them or someone they know should have a quick google; you'll find a lot of stuff comes up.

DonDaddyD

rjsterry wrote:

Absolutely, I'm sure it wasn't meant in a dismissive way; I was just highlighting that some people perceive depression as 'just being a bit down', when it's actually something quite different. Re. post-natal depression in fathers, anyone thinking that it might apply to them or someone they know should have a quick google; you'll find a lot of stuff comes up.

You are completely right.

OP let us know how you get on!

CiB

Campervan. PM for you.

Confusedboy

Corporate Camper wrote:

I'm still blown away by all your support. I'm 6', 18.5st with a shaved head and a big tattoo... but I had to run to my car a couple of times today for a bit of a sob after reading some of the posts. I am fragile, more so than normal at the moment.

welkman wrote:

One thing you dont mention is if you are drinking ?

I'm trying to be careful with it. I do like to drink a bottle of red wine, and I generally feel good after I do, so I try to limit it (pretty successfully) to one night per week. I don't keep alcohol in the house.

I, too, don't keep alchohol at home, but a bottle of red once a week will not hurt you. I actually drink a bit more than that, but beer and in pubs, where it is easier to control it; another 'make yourself go out' technique, but you are right to be wary of letting it become a symptom rather than a coping strategy.

I'd also suggest trying to give up smoking if you smoke. Smoking makes depression worse in several ways; it makes it harder to keep your place tidy, and reduces your enjoyment of food, not to mention it's effect on your overall fitness and ability to go out and do melanin-producing exercise.

gingernash

Another good source of help is www.moodgym.anu.edu.au

It is free online Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (or CBT) which is another method of treating depression, possibly alongside medication. You can get CBT from the NHS or privately, with sessions on the NHS probably only available following assessment so private might be the only way (and could try to do through insurance if you have it from work).

Essentially CBT is a way of changing the way you think about things, trying to move interpretations of events, people etc from a negative perspective to a positive perspective and to recognise and adopt healthy negative emotions as opposed to unhealthy negative emotions. It will also help you identify why you might have automatic negative responses to things and help you understand why you might have low moods or anxiety.

Another form of therapy is Interpersonal Behavioural Therapy (or IPT) which helps you with relationships and how your dealings or expectations of other people might be causing you to feel depressed. It also looks much more deeply at you (and might feel a bit more like 'proper' therapy).

There are some good books to start off with which have exercises and diaries to do:

CBT for Dummies
Overcoming Depression

cpower36

First of all, full respect to you camper for being so open about your issue. I have to admit reading your post made me smile because I could have written it about myself. I have all the same symptoms, plus others like spending too much money on bike parts to make me 'feel happier' ( it doesn't work btw). My GP has put me on horrible tablets, but like he said, the answer lies inside me, not inside the pills. I can only hope to feel better soon, because its hard to keep positive when no one ever invites you to join them for a drink, 'likes' your facebook posts or even leaves you a simple text. Thinking about it, I dont know which is crazier. Being afraid to admit that we have this illness for fear of ridicule, or sitting at home knowing that a few streets away must be another bike nut who would enjoy an occasional pint or a ride around for a bit on a Sunday. Now thats really 'mental' isnt it?

EKE_38BPM

cpower36 wrote:

its hard to keep positive when no one ever invites you to join them for a drink

There is a standing invite to the Morpeth on random fridays. Keep an eye out for the thread to find out when they happen.
Now that its summer(ish) they are much more frequent. We talk bikes and drink beer. They are fun!

As the thread says: "I'd like to but don't live in London. This forum is so london-centric. You all smell." so if you are not in London, I can't help you on the drink invite front, but I'm sure there will be cyclists near you who like a beer. Get googling.

deptfordmarmoset

I know I probably should [make an appointment with a doctor] but I just can't shake the feeling that there are proper ill people about and maybe I'm just "down in the dumps" and need to pull myself together.

CC, if all you need is to pull yourself together, then a quick visit to your GP is not going to break the NHS's resources or deprive anybody of the care they deserve.

Personally, I'm taking 40mg of Fluoxetine daily (I think it's a generic name for Prozac) and I think it has probably helped me (though my GP doesn't like me reducing the dose when I don't feel I need it - self-demedication really irritates them.) And I think the single best thing that's helped me is cycling.

But you're not going to get the advice or the help, or - if needed - the medication, to help you get across the personal pothole you're facing without seeing a doctor first.

Remember, melon/cauli is only 2 of your 5 a day

ketsbaia

Hats off to you CC. What a post. I've done a similar thing on another forum *washes mouth out* a few weeks back and I've not looked back since. The recognition was the biggest part of it for me. Hadn't realised at all that I was gradually deteriorating. Hit me like a bus one day and it was a bit of a eureka moment.

Haven't gone to the GP yet, nor sought professional help, but I have started to feel a lot better over the last few weeks. And should I start a downward spiral again (and I'm not ruling that out), I know I can go and ask for help.

As others have said, the cycling really does help. As has building up a bike from scratch (just got to work out how to sort the front brake and I'll be away). Taking a bit more control over stuff like bills and sorting out the back garden, etc. has helped a lot too. Just got to get the inevitable divorce out of the way next and I'm certain I'll see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Interesting to see what rjsterry said about post-natal depression for blokes too. Thinking back, I'm fairly sure that's exactly what I went through after the birth of our second. Wish I'd known back then, but there you go.

Looking back at this thread, there's definite scope for a BikeRadar psychology self-help bike ride/beer-up, isn't there?

Corporate Camper

ketsbaia wrote:

The recognition was the biggest part of it for me.

Exactly. I've read every post and I've read every link, I've also had a couple of great PM's. I don't feel alone and that's a great help.

My appointment is on Friday, so we'll see how that goes. Yesterday after work I walked for a couple of hours and then did an hour of (slow) Turbo in front of "Embarrassing Fat Bodies". Tonight I was a bit more lazy, but when I took the dog out I made an effort to run/jog until I was well out of breath, then 10 mins of weights before bed.

My mood is brighter, but the fogginess and lack of concentration is still there (as you would expect really). I think the biggest thing for me is that I now really want to sort this out, and as so many of you have been here in the past I'm pretty confident that it's do-able too.

I'll keep you all posted!

davis

ketsbaia wrote:

Looking back at this thread, there's definite scope for a BikeRadar psychology self-help bike ride/beer-up, isn't there?

How kind of you to offer. Let me know when it's on :-)

EKE_38BPM

Morpeth on a friday is a good place to start.