In the dog house again.

sufferingpete
sufferingpete Posts: 524
edited June 2011 in Commuting chat
My wife tells me (with a hand on hips stance and disapproving tone in her voice) that all our bed sheets now have an oily imprint of a chain ring on them. And also some of the duvet covers.
The diameter of the chain ring matches the big ring of my road bike so I cant claim that it is not me.
Racing is rubbish you can\'t relax and enjoy it- because some bugger is always trying to get past.
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Comments

  • gbsahne001
    gbsahne001 Posts: 1,973
    should shower before going to bed then
    Winter Hack
    Everyday Commuter
  • Initialised
    Initialised Posts: 3,047
    Shouldn't take the bike to bed.

    Pervert
    I used to just ride my bike to work but now I find myself going out looking for bigger and bigger hills.
  • Foxtrot Oscar
    Foxtrot Oscar Posts: 30
    Tell her you'll leave an oily imprint on her face if she doesn't shut up.
  • ndru
    ndru Posts: 382
    Suggest a threesome.
    http://iamnotacyclist.blogspot.com/
  • dhope
    dhope Posts: 6,699
    ndru wrote:
    Suggest a threesome.

    Wouldn't she just get annoyed that the bike was getting more attention?
    Rose Xeon CW Disc
    CAAD12 Disc
    Condor Tempo
  • mudcow007
    mudcow007 Posts: 3,861
    i found the best thing to get oil off my leg is

    poor mans version - mix sugar with washing up liquid an scrub your leg

    modern man version - sugar soap! i use a mango flavoured one

    or swarfega

    oil just doesn't seem to budge with any amount of shower gel
    Keeping it classy since '83
  • woodford2barbican
    woodford2barbican Posts: 1,505
    Baby wipes are best for getting oil off legs.
  • ince
    ince Posts: 289
    woodford2barbican wrote:
    Baby wipes are best for getting oil off legs.

    Johnsons are the best, the pampers ones are not so good I have found.
  • Allez Mark
    Allez Mark Posts: 364
    Boots own brand work for me
  • Pufftmw
    Pufftmw Posts: 1,941
    swarfega :)
    1997 Gary Fisher Big Sur

    2009 Scott Spark 60

    2010 Ghost 5000

    2011 Commencal Ramones AL1

    2012 Commencal Meta AM1
  • SimonAH
    SimonAH Posts: 3,730
    Rub affected area with a little cooking oil / olive oil / any clean oil to hand then wash. It will come straight off.

    In the absence of Swarfega and filthy oily hands from fettling a good rubbing of (dry, do not wet) oil followed by a good squirt of fairy liquid gets 'em clean first time everytime.

    That, how to open beer bottles with a plastic lighter and how to ALWAYS kill a fly are the three top tips that everyone should know!
    FCN 5 belt driven fixie for city bits
    CAADX 105 beastie for bumpy bits
    Litespeed L3 for Strava bits

    Smoke me a kipper, I'll be back for breakfast.
  • richVSrich
    richVSrich Posts: 527
    SimonAH wrote:
    Rub affected area with a little cooking oil / olive oil / any clean oil to hand then wash. It will come straight off.

    In the absence of Swarfega and filthy oily hands from fettling a good rubbing of (dry, do not wet) oil followed by a good squirt of fairy liquid gets 'em clean first time everytime.

    That, how to open beer bottles with a plastic lighter and how to ALWAYS kill a fly are the three top tips that everyone should know!

    ...so how do you open a bottle witha plastic lighter and alwas kill a fly??? am intrigued now..
    Boardman Hybrid Commuter Workhorse
  • hfidgen
    hfidgen Posts: 340
    SimonAH wrote:
    That, how to open beer bottles with a plastic lighter and how to ALWAYS kill a fly are the three top tips that everyone should know!

    You're going to have to explain the fly one - I'm intrigued :P
    FCN 4 - BMC CX02
  • suzyb
    suzyb Posts: 3,449
    Nail brush, soap and a bit of scrubbing works for me. The red mark only lasts a few minutes.
    Whippet
  • mudcow007
    mudcow007 Posts: 3,861
    hfidgen wrote:
    SimonAH wrote:
    That, how to open beer bottles with a plastic lighter and how to ALWAYS kill a fly are the three top tips that everyone should know!

    You're going to have to explain the fly one - I'm intrigued :P

    http://www.wikihow.com/Open-a-Beer-Bott ... -a-Lighter
    Keeping it classy since '83
  • SimonAH
    SimonAH Posts: 3,730
    Aha,

    How to open a beer bottle with a plastic lighter;
    Grip neck of bottle firmly in one hand roughly a lighter thickness below the cap. With the other hand insert the plastic end of the lighter between knuckle of index finger and cap, the cap will bite very slightly into the plastic of the lighter preventing slippage as you lever the lid off using your knuckle as the fulcrum – simple!

    How to ALWAYS kill a fly;
    Wait until the fly settles on a surface and place hands equidistant from it in a clapping stance. Then clap. Dead fly. This works because of the way their compound eyes interact with their brains – they can only process one moving object at a time and so will fly away from one hand into the path of the other. Ensure you wash your hands afterwards and wear gloves if it’s a wasp or a hornet you’re dispatching!
    FCN 5 belt driven fixie for city bits
    CAADX 105 beastie for bumpy bits
    Litespeed L3 for Strava bits

    Smoke me a kipper, I'll be back for breakfast.
  • marksteven
    marksteven Posts: 208
    +1 for baby wipes = mans 2nd greatest invention, great for cleaning chains also :P
  • DonDaddyD
    DonDaddyD Posts: 12,689
    We wipe our legs clean with baby wipes now?

    T'was a time that a man covered in oil and hard work was enough to rile a woman's nether into a drip storm...
    Food Chain number = 4

    A true scalp is not only overtaking someone but leaving them stopped at a set of lights. As you, who have clearly beaten the lights, pummels nothing but the open air ahead. ~ 'DondaddyD'. Player of the Unspoken Game
  • Headhuunter
    Headhuunter Posts: 6,494
    DonDaddyD wrote:
    .... rile a woman's nether into a drip storm...

    OMG, are comments like that allowed?! :wink:
    Do not write below this line. Office use only.
  • rjsterry
    rjsterry Posts: 29,387
    edited June 2011
    DonDaddyD wrote:
    We wipe our legs clean with baby wipes now?

    T'was a time that a man covered in oil and hard work was enough to rile a woman's nether into a drip storm...

    Indeed, I'm with suzyb on this one - scrub a bit harder; leave the baby wipes for the baby.

    EDIT: Hang on a mo'. I distinctly remember you fessing up to using tea tree oil wipes both on you and the bike!
    1985 Mercian King of Mercia - work in progress (Hah! Who am I kidding?)
    Pinnacle Monzonite

    Part of the anti-growth coalition
  • DonDaddyD
    DonDaddyD Posts: 12,689
    One DDD moment per week.

    Truth be told I've been ordered many many times to clean the walls where my bike resides in the flat. And currently I have to put it upside down with a towel (now known as 'bike towel') over the drivetrain so that (i) Ms DDD can sidle past it safely and without getting caught and (ii) no oil gets on her.

    Never had to wipe oil off myself with baby wipes or washing up liquid...

    Seriously though shouldn't oil be the least of the offending stains on bed sheets...

    Just saying...

    OK maybe two
    Food Chain number = 4

    A true scalp is not only overtaking someone but leaving them stopped at a set of lights. As you, who have clearly beaten the lights, pummels nothing but the open air ahead. ~ 'DondaddyD'. Player of the Unspoken Game
  • EKE_38BPM
    EKE_38BPM Posts: 5,821
    In dry weather, use dry lube. No oil stains if you use dry lube.
    FCN 3: Raleigh Record Ace fixie-to be resurrected sometime in the future
    FCN 4: Planet X Schmaffenschmack 2- workhorse
    FCN 9: B Twin Vitamin - winter commuter/loan bike for trainees

    I'm hungry. I'm always hungry!
  • shouldbeinbed
    shouldbeinbed Posts: 2,660
    DonDaddyD wrote:
    We wipe our legs clean with baby wipes now?

    T'was a time that a man covered in oil and hard work was enough to rile a woman's nether into a drip storm...

    As long as she hadn't rounded off her allen key groove
  • shouldbeinbed
    shouldbeinbed Posts: 2,660
    DonDaddyD wrote:
    We wipe our legs clean with baby wipes now?

    T'was a time that a man covered in oil and hard work was enough to rile a woman's nether into a drip storm...

    As long as she hadn't rounded off her allen key groove
  • sufferingpete
    sufferingpete Posts: 524
    ndru wrote:
    Suggest a threesome.


    Wouldn't she just get annoyed that the bike was getting more attention?


    This brings up another question - what to say when she says "you love that bike more than me!"

    1 - I have got two bikes and love them both equally so it should be plural but I think it is best not to mention this.
    2 – If I say no I love you more than my bikes she knows I am lying.
    3 – Saying yes I love my bikes more than you is obviously the WRONG answer and has dire consequences.
    4 – The best answer so far is “you’re the only woman I have ever loved” unless any one can advise a better one.
    Racing is rubbish you can\'t relax and enjoy it- because some bugger is always trying to get past.
  • Phil_D
    Phil_D Posts: 467
    Wear trousers to bed
  • ndru
    ndru Posts: 382
    A chaincase could help...
    http://iamnotacyclist.blogspot.com/
  • Paul E
    Paul E Posts: 2,052
    ndru wrote:
    A chaincase could help...

    to make getting to the chain to clean it harder, make the bike look cr@p and weigh the bike down, apart from that, fantastic idea
  • sufferingpete
    sufferingpete Posts: 524
    Wear trousers to bed

    1-The wife wears the trousers.

    2 - I do the reverse in the winter when I wear longs and take them off before bed hence no oily marks.
    Racing is rubbish you can\'t relax and enjoy it- because some bugger is always trying to get past.
  • SimonAH
    SimonAH Posts: 3,730
    Convert to Gates carbon drive and live the dream :D
    FCN 5 belt driven fixie for city bits
    CAADX 105 beastie for bumpy bits
    Litespeed L3 for Strava bits

    Smoke me a kipper, I'll be back for breakfast.

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