women - they dont understand!

ilm_zero7

no, not the offside rule, or LBW....

I was asked , "do you love me"

"YES" I replied,

"how much?"

"even more than cycling dear ", I said

SLAP!

rick_chasey

Rule #1 - one's love cannot be compared to anything, for to do so is to trivialise it.

daviesee

Stock answer - more than words can say.

Leave it at that. Best for all concerned.

northernneil

daviesee wrote:

Stock answer - more than words can say.

Leave it at that. Best for all concerned.

smoothy .......

Ginjafro

I once, drunkenly, told my wife I loved our cat more than her !

spen666

Female: "Do you love Me?"

Male: "I F*ck you,don't I?"

nevman

Felt so Good wrote:

no, not the offside rule, or LBW....

I was asked , "do you love me"

"YES" I replied,

"how much?"

"even more than cycling dear ", I said

SLAP!

Stock answer is

`more than I can say`

DCowling

Ginjafro wrote:

I once, drunkenly, told my wife I loved our cat more than her !

When you say once?

jibberjim

Felt so Good wrote:

I was asked , "do you love me"

"YES" I replied,

"how much?"

"even more than cycling dear ", I said

SLAP!

Well there's no point lieing to her, she's not stupid!

daviesee

daviesee wrote:

Stock answer - more than words can say.

Leave it at that. Best for all concerned.

nevman wrote:

Stock answer is

`more than I can say`

I am sure that I just heard an echo there...

Warwickshire Whizzer

My answer is always 'without measure.'

The response is always, 'not as much as I love you.'


I'd change tactic and say more than you love me, but you'll end up in a playground argument.

Mastineo

I was asked this over Christmas and replied truthfully: "No not really, sorry but you did ask"
She moved out on Boxing Day.

KeimanP

You may need to question why they are asking... it is likely to be code for I need.... shoes... handbag... clothes..... just pass me your wallet and tell me your pin!

So a subtle diversionary answer/excuse is needed, nip to the shop buy flowers and or chocolates (note no chocolates if on a diet) and return presenting the one you love with a small token of your affection.... An £8 bunch from Asda (early evening and you may be able to pick up a reduced bunch that doesn't look too bad) will see off a £100+ spending spree in town, this also protects your bike funds for at least a month?

I have learnt many lessons from the error of my ways! The main one is that this doesn't always work.... As I the other half is always right.

Stick8267

Warwickshire Whizzer wrote:

I'd change tactic and say more than you love me, but you'll end up in a playground argument.

I replied exactly that the other day and got the response, "Yeh, that's probably true."

chuckcork

spen666 wrote:

Female: "Do you love Me?"

Male: "I F*ck you,don't I?"

Wasn't that almost the line from the movie "Oliver Twist", during which the man, Bill, ends up strangling his girl Nancy?

seanoconn

Bought my wife a nice bunch of flowers today. I dont often buy flowers and thought it would be a nice gesture.

She said, ok, what are those for? what have you done!

MichaelW

Q. How much do you love me:
A. How big is your bum.

Le Commentateur

The "how much" follow up is just their way of judging how much guilt might ensue if they left you for someone else. Straw in the wind.

Stewie Griffin

MichaelW wrote:

Q. How much do you love me:
A. How big is your bum.

That made me laugh, I hope I don't remember it, just in case I blurt it out one day thinking well it was funny when I read it.

StillGoing

Q How much do you love me?
A Enough to know that I don't want a lifetime of maintenance, CSA, court costs, scrounging divorce solicitors and advocates, being forced to live in abject poverty in a one bedroom flat if I'm lucky by having to give the majority of my pay packet to a lot of people who on the whole don't deserve it, running the mill of having to hang out in pubs and bars or silly other places women frequent to find someone else who isn't egotistical enough to ask the same question.

JesseD

Ginjafro wrote:

I once, drunkenly, told my wife I loved our cat more than her !

There's a joke in there somewhere but I won't lower the tone.

Warwickshire Whizzer

philthy3 wrote:

Q How much do you love me?
A Enough to know that I don't want a lifetime of maintenance, CSA, court costs, scrounging divorce solicitors and advocates, being forced to live in abject poverty in a one bedroom flat if I'm lucky by having to give the majority of my pay packet to a lot of people who on the whole don't deserve it, running the mill of having to hang out in pubs and bars or silly other places women frequent to find someone else who isn't egotistical enough to ask the same question.

Ouch

MattC59

They also don't understand the fact that when they ask you "What are you thinking" and you answer "Nothing". You're actually telling the truth !!

Ladies, if you're reading. It's perfectly possible for a man to be thinking nothing at all, or something as innane as "Which would win a race, a shark or a horse".

My Mrs doesn't ask what I'm thinking anymore

surreyxc

To make a relationship work: the guy needs good sex, good food, and the women needs everything else, if both parties learn and accept this, then happy days.

DCowling

MattC59 wrote:

They also don't understand the fact that when they ask you "What are you thinking" and you answer "Nothing". You're actually telling the truth !!

Ladies, if you're reading. It's perfectly possible for a man to be thinking nothing at all, or something as innane as "Which would win a race, a shark or a horse".

My Mrs doesn't ask what I'm thinking anymore

Watching Human planet last night and my son asked a very serious question
who would win a fiight, polar bear or tiger, got to admit it kept me awake for a while

shm_uk

Once both parties accept that neither can ever fully understand the other then everything falls nicely into place...

Stuey01

DCowling wrote:

Watching Human planet last night and my son asked a very serious question
who would win a fiight, polar bear or tiger, got to admit it kept me awake for a while

Depends on the terrain but I'm gonna go with Polar Bear.

cornerblock

surreyxc wrote:

To make a relationship work: the guy needs good sex, good food, and the women needs everything else, if both parties learn and accept this, then happy days.

I bet you were one of her biggest fans!
http://www.smh.com.au/articles/2004/11/ ... m=storyrhs

rhext

DCowling wrote:

MattC59 wrote:

They also don't understand the fact that when they ask you "What are you thinking" and you answer "Nothing". You're actually telling the truth !!

Ladies, if you're reading. It's perfectly possible for a man to be thinking nothing at all, or something as innane as "Which would win a race, a shark or a horse".

My Mrs doesn't ask what I'm thinking anymore

Watching Human planet last night and my son asked a very serious question
who would win a fiight, polar bear or tiger, got to admit it kept me awake for a while

Do they get to use weapons: could make a big difference to the outcome!

Ollieda

Once i was given the "how much" question.

Can't remember my exact reply, something along the lines of: "I can't believe you would even ask such a thing, in fact it upsets me that you question my love for you" Throw in a bit of a huff and act annoyed.....result: she took me straight to the bedroom to "apologise"

MattC59

rhext wrote:

DCowling wrote:

MattC59 wrote:

They also don't understand the fact that when they ask you "What are you thinking" and you answer "Nothing". You're actually telling the truth !!

Ladies, if you're reading. It's perfectly possible for a man to be thinking nothing at all, or something as innane as "Which would win a race, a shark or a horse".

My Mrs doesn't ask what I'm thinking anymore

Watching Human planet last night and my son asked a very serious question
who would win a fiight, polar bear or tiger, got to admit it kept me awake for a while

Do they get to use weapons: could make a big difference to the outcome!

Yep, the bear gets a 'cat-o-nine tails' the tiger gets a 'Bear claw'
My money's still on the bear !