Fettle muppet of the year award! 2011
DonDaddyD
Posts: 12,689
Sometimes the need to fiddle with your bike is just too great. And like most cyclist I love a good fettle, I really do. However, there are times it just goes dreadfully wrong. Here's my claim for Fettle muppet of the year 2011. Share yours!
Wednesday, 12 Jan 4.45pm
So my chain was rubbing against my derailer and I had the bright idea to adust it with an allen key, the thing that holds the actual gear cable. At this point and even a day later I have no explanation why I decided to do this. I had an urge to tinker and followed through.
5.30pm
Having realised that I have made a monumental mistake I decide to take the whole derailer of by removing the bolt connecting to the thing thats connected to the bike. I realise that it won't fully come off because the chain is still on.
6.00pm
Covered in oil I'm now frantically searching the internet for websites that can give me advice on how to set up a derailer with, hopefully, just an allen key.
6.30pm
I need a break or I'm gonna start crying, its cold, dark and I need to get home with my bike. I go and get changed.
7.00pm
I give up. I position my derailer so that its on the middle ring, it no longer shifts to the big ring and needs two shifts to the bottom. I leave work and head home defeated.
What hurts the most is that last friday I paid £157 and part of that was a gear service.
Wednesday, 12 Jan 4.45pm
So my chain was rubbing against my derailer and I had the bright idea to adust it with an allen key, the thing that holds the actual gear cable. At this point and even a day later I have no explanation why I decided to do this. I had an urge to tinker and followed through.
5.30pm
Having realised that I have made a monumental mistake I decide to take the whole derailer of by removing the bolt connecting to the thing thats connected to the bike. I realise that it won't fully come off because the chain is still on.
6.00pm
Covered in oil I'm now frantically searching the internet for websites that can give me advice on how to set up a derailer with, hopefully, just an allen key.
6.30pm
I need a break or I'm gonna start crying, its cold, dark and I need to get home with my bike. I go and get changed.
7.00pm
I give up. I position my derailer so that its on the middle ring, it no longer shifts to the big ring and needs two shifts to the bottom. I leave work and head home defeated.
What hurts the most is that last friday I paid £157 and part of that was a gear service.
Food Chain number = 4
A true scalp is not only overtaking someone but leaving them stopped at a set of lights. As you, who have clearly beaten the lights, pummels nothing but the open air ahead. ~ 'DondaddyD'. Player of the Unspoken Game
A true scalp is not only overtaking someone but leaving them stopped at a set of lights. As you, who have clearly beaten the lights, pummels nothing but the open air ahead. ~ 'DondaddyD'. Player of the Unspoken Game
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Brand new rear wheel (£60 or so)
Removed rear derailer
Replaced chain
Tinkered with derailer once new chain was on as it wasn't indexed correctly
Thought I'd done well. Set off.
Went for easiest gear.
Put rear derailer into wheel
Pushed chain off the largest rear sprocket into the gap between the casette and the rear hub
Chain immediately cut through six spokes
Wheel buckled
Pushed bike home
New rear wheel required0 -
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I once tried to remove a casette with an HG tool in the lockring and a screwdriver through the casette and into the spokes. Isn't it surprising that I broke 2 spokes :oops:I've added a signature to prove it is still possible.0
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does it have to be a fettle performed (or attempted) in 2011? If so I know of one but shall not be the one to speak of it publically
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Tried to shorten a chain. I managed to get the joining pin out with my Campy tool, but pushed it all the way out. Uh-oh.
Took the requisite links out and attempted to rejoin. Now, there is a plate, a link and a plate to get the joining pin though. And it has a flange at end end. So it won't go very happily though the first plate. But I'm stubborn, and stupid, so I try as hard as I can.
Well, it seemed that as hard as I can is hard enought to break the chain tool completely and bend the face plate. And not get the pin in.
So I take it to a local bike shop that I rarely use, who "repair" the chain. That's a Saturday.
On Monday morning, I turn to start up a hill, never change down on this as it is short, out of the saddle and *PING* the chain snaps and leaves me on the ground in pain.
One new chain later, I'm good to go.
Usually I'm a lot better than that. Usually.0 -
Last weekend I replaced my headset with a shiny new cane creek number, but all did not go as planned.
I removed the forks, turned bike over and tried to remove the cups from the frame. Much swearing and a new homemade seatpost based tool later I got the buggers out. Now comes the part I have been waiting for, time to try out my new heaset cup press, a magnificent feat of german engineering. Fifteen minutes later I am drinking a cup of tea and proudly admiring my skill whilst trying to work out how many 'man points' I have just earned myself when I realise.........
I didnt turn the bike back over before I fitted the new cups and now have a perfectly installed but upside down headset. Doh
W0 -
From last year, but since we're all sharing...
Bought myself a torque wrench to replace a cassette with, for those who don't know, when a torque wrench reaches the requisite tightness, it makes a "click" noise, so you stop. Problem is, that both the cassete body and the lock-ring are serrated, and make a number of clicking noises as you tighten. It's quite easy to miss the torque wrench clicking, it appears, and good old Sheldon says that cassette lockrings go on really, really tight.
Lets just say I carried on tightening a bit much, and have actually broken the metal shaft of a chain whip in two trying to get the bastard off.
You wouldn't like me when I'm angry.0 -
Quite mild by comparison but I'm still embarassed. I put my studdy tyres on my Alfine hub bike and all was lovely, changing a bit clunky in the way sub zero dawn & dusk but I wasn't at my best either so fair dos.
I changed back to my road tyres and spent a couple of days struggling for a gear, slipping into neutral, whacking my parts off the crossbar as the gears gave. I figured it must be cold & lubricant related and was merilly calling Shimano every name under the sun. Spent time pratting about adjusting the cable tension back and forth & ages in LBS slagging Shimano & Alfine to the hilt whilst mulling over possible faults and costly repairs.
Having one final look before I seriously considered slinging it in rhe canal Riis 97 stylee I clocked a bit if wobble on the rear wheel and realised that when I'd changed the tyres, I'd finger tightened the axle nuts and left it at that.
A couple of turns with the spanner and everything is spot on again.
I'm sorry Shimano if your ears were on fire for a few days.0 -
Too many muppets on here, it will soon be a Show ! 0
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I'm sure some remember my case of messing around with the spacers on my fork.
Fork is 1", stem is 1 1/8" so there's a shim to fill the gap...
Sooo post fettling i didn't notice that the shim had slipped so was only JUST in between the fork and stem.
While riding, it slips, stem goes loose, i panic and pull on the handlebars, somehow manage to pull the star nut clean out... so now i'm riding, holding my handlebars, but they are not attached to the rest of the bike. Fortuntately i wasn't going too fast and there was no traffic behind me so only cuts and grazes when i hit the tarmac.
This was a couple of years back though so can't be nominated for the 2011 award :P0 -
Oddjob62 wrote:I'm sure some remember my case of messing around with the spacers on my fork.
Fork is 1", stem is 1 1/8" so there's a shim to fill the gap...
Sooo post fettling i didn't notice that the shim had slipped so was only JUST in between the fork and stem.
While riding, it slips, stem goes loose, i panic and pull on the handlebars, somehow manage to pull the star nut clean out... so now i'm riding, holding my handlebars, but they are not attached to the rest of the bike. Fortuntately i wasn't going too fast and there was no traffic behind me so only cuts and grazes when i hit the tarmac.
This was a couple of years back though so can't be nominated for the 2011 award :P
That may qualify for a lifetime achievement though
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welkman wrote:I didnt turn the bike back over before I fitted the new cups and now have a perfectly installed but upside down headset. Doh
Absolutely the best one!!! I salute you!
I ve done everything! the "ooh I ll just take the SRAM X9 shifter apart for a service thing", the threading the BB cups in the wrong way thing, overtightening stems on carbon bars but my best is removing a Race Face crankset with an ISIS puller thinking it was a proper PITA and then realizing I'd left the retaining bolt in the cranks still and totally f**ked it!!We're in danger of confusing passion with incompetence
- @ddraver0 -
DDD good effort. 7/10
Sorry to be critical but it's for your own developement
For full marks you needed an stupid injury (+1), which drew blood (+1) and have caused damage to something else (oil on the carpet, that sort of thing) (+1)
Good effort though.
ETA I want to read the follow up post. The return visit to the overpriced LBS with your bike in bits“New York has the haircuts, London has the trousers, but Belfast has the reason!0 -
UndercoverElephant wrote:Lets just say I carried on tightening a bit much, and have actually broken the metal shaft of a chain whip in two trying to get the bastard off.
You wouldn't like me when I'm angry.
WITH YOUR HANDS?!? :shock:
I think I've posted this before, but a couple of glasses of wine led to this:
It took quite a bit of staring, wondering why I couldn't get the chain to sit nicely on the chainring, to work that one out.Sometimes parts break. Sometimes you crash. Sometimes it’s your fault.0 -
Ept is a word. Thankyou for making me laugh so much you wonderful people. I love you one and all!FCN 5 belt driven fixie for city bits
CAADX 105 beastie for bumpy bits
Litespeed L3 for Strava bits
Smoke me a kipper, I'll be back for breakfast.0 -
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On Strava.{/url}0 -
davis wrote:UndercoverElephant wrote:Lets just say I carried on tightening a bit much, and have actually broken the metal shaft of a chain whip in two trying to get the bastard off.
You wouldn't like me when I'm angry.
WITH YOUR HANDS?!? :shock:
Erm... yes. Did I mention you wouldn't like me when I'm angry?
I may have more to add to this thread after the weekend, I'm swapping groupsets around. 0 -
Decided hubs needed clearing out of gunk.
Carefully took out bearings (i.e. they dropped on the garage floor).
Cleaned it all out, greased up properly.
Thought I must've lost a few bearings as there's a gap - added extra bearing.
The ride felt terrible, so went to LBS and explained my fettling.
When they stopped giggling, they then checked my hubs and removed the bearings I've added, explaining to me there is meant to be a gap to allow the bearings to move.
Completely makes sense to me now. :oops:
I love making stupid mistakes - I learn loads that way Giant Escape R1
FCN 8
"Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life."
- Terry Pratchett.0 -
R_T_A wrote:Decided hubs needed clearing out of gunk.
Carefully took out bearings (i.e. they dropped on the garage floor).
Cleaned it all out, greased up properly.
Thought I must've lost a few bearings as there's a gap - added extra bearing.
The ride felt terrible, so went to LBS and explained my fettling.
When they stopped giggling, they then checked my hubs and removed the bearings I've added, explaining to me there is meant to be a gap to allow the bearings to move.
Completely makes sense to me now. :oops:
I love making stupid mistakes - I learn loads that way
I'm still waiting for redvee to 'fess up to this one, judging by his last post in the "What fettling you've done" thread, you me and him are in a club which is getting less exclusive by the day.0 -
UndercoverElephant wrote:R_T_A wrote:Decided hubs needed clearing out of gunk.
Carefully took out bearings (i.e. they dropped on the garage floor).
Cleaned it all out, greased up properly.
Thought I must've lost a few bearings as there's a gap - added extra bearing.
The ride felt terrible, so went to LBS and explained my fettling.
When they stopped giggling, they then checked my hubs and removed the bearings I've added, explaining to me there is meant to be a gap to allow the bearings to move.
Completely makes sense to me now. :oops:
I love making stupid mistakes - I learn loads that way
I'm still waiting for redvee to 'fess up to this one, judging by his last post in the "What fettling you've done" thread, you me and him are in a club which is getting less exclusive by the day.
Do we get a badge with our membership? Or maybe a dunce hat would be more appropriate
Giant Escape R1
FCN 8
"Build a man a fire, and he'll be warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and he'll be warm for the rest of his life."
- Terry Pratchett.0 -
Ah the joys of adjusting the front derailleur.
In your defense they are royal pain in the arse to get right.
But to try an adjust on the fly is asking for trouble. Didn't you notice the delimiter screws?0 -
Sadly, no amount of reading Sheldon Brown or Park Tools will prevent your inner gimboid coming out from time to time.
http://www.velochocolate.co.uk Special Treats for Lifestyle Cyclists
From FCN from 8 (road bike, beard, bag, work clothes) to 15 (on my Brompton)0 -
TailWindHome wrote:DDD good effort. 7/10
Sorry to be critical but it's for your own developement
For full marks you needed an stupid injury (+1), which drew blood (+1) and have caused damage to something else (oil on the carpet, that sort of thing) (+1)
Good effort though.
ETA I want to read the follow up post. The return visit to the overpriced LBS with your bike in bits
Surely someone on here has done the classic smashing knuckles into chain ring when trying to remove a pedal.
I've been blessed with a good run of muppetry-free fettling on the bike, but that just means it's a question of when the inevitable happens.1985 Mercian King of Mercia - work in progress (Hah! Who am I kidding?)
Pinnacle Monzonite
Part of the anti-growth coalition0 -
rjsterry wrote:Surely someone on here has done the classic smashing knuckles into chain ring when trying to remove a pedal.
I've been blessed with a good run of muppetry-free fettling on the bike, but that just means it's a question of when the inevitable happens.
pedal changing 101: always put the chain on the outer ring before attempting to remove pedal will do less damage than if you hit the bare chainring itself. Hat + Beard0 -
rjsterry wrote:Surely someone on here has done the classic smashing knuckles into chain ring when trying to remove a pedal.
That would be me.
I named this injury 'F***wits Thumb'“New York has the haircuts, London has the trousers, but Belfast has the reason!0 -
DonDaddyD wrote:Wednesday, 12 Jan 4.45pm
So my chain was rubbing against my derailer and I had the bright idea to adust it with an allen key, the thing that holds the actual gear cable. At this point and even a day later I have no explanation why I decided to do this. I had an urge to tinker and followed through.
I've done this before but not on a bike I was actively riding, it was in the garage
Done that tooGreg66 wrote:Well, it seemed that as hard as I can is hard enought to break the chain tool completely and bend the face plate. And not get the pin in.
You were lucky that the "repair" held for as long as it didSo I take it to a local bike shop that I rarely use, who "repair" the chain. That's a Saturday.0 -
rjsterry wrote:Surely someone on here has done the classic smashing knuckles into chain ring when trying to remove a pedal.
Top tip, fettle fans: Shift into the big ring before fettling - a chain's a lot less painful than the teeth.
(Thanks very much, The Bike Whisperer).Sometimes parts break. Sometimes you crash. Sometimes it’s your fault.0
