Best excuse for not going to work
DonDaddyD
Posts: 12,689
OK this one wasn't me and I'm not looking for an excuse not to be at work. I actually like my job.
Yesterday I got a phone call saying that X staff member wasn't coming in because they "felt cold".
No, not had a cold. They felt chilly.
So I guess I won't be seeing them at work for the rest of winter then.
What's been the best excuse you've heard or used for not going into work?
Yesterday I got a phone call saying that X staff member wasn't coming in because they "felt cold".
No, not had a cold. They felt chilly.
So I guess I won't be seeing them at work for the rest of winter then.
What's been the best excuse you've heard or used for not going into work?
Food Chain number = 4
A true scalp is not only overtaking someone but leaving them stopped at a set of lights. As you, who have clearly beaten the lights, pummels nothing but the open air ahead. ~ 'DondaddyD'. Player of the Unspoken Game
A true scalp is not only overtaking someone but leaving them stopped at a set of lights. As you, who have clearly beaten the lights, pummels nothing but the open air ahead. ~ 'DondaddyD'. Player of the Unspoken Game
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*banal public sector jibe*
Just thought I'd get in there before the usual lot do
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When it comes to excuses for absence the one my cousins dad told them to tell their primary school teacher is one of the best I've heard.
They got to school a good hour and a half late and told their teacher this...Sorry we're late miss, but my mums away for a few days and when dad tried to cook us our breakfast he set fire to the kitchen so we had to repaint it before our mum found out
And a guy I used to work with missed work for almost two weeks because he got sunburn on the soles of his feet whilst on holiday.
Hat + Beard0 -
DonDaddyD wrote:OK this one wasn't me and I'm not looking for an excuse not to be at work. I actually like my job.
Yesterday I got a phone call saying that X staff member wasn't coming in because they "felt cold".
No, not had a cold. They felt chilly.
So I guess I won't be seeing them at work for the rest of winter then.
What's been the best excuse you've heard or used for not going into work?
So are they actually claiming it as a sick day or just an unscheduled day off?1985 Mercian King of Mercia - work in progress (Hah! Who am I kidding?)
Pinnacle Monzonite
Part of the anti-growth coalition0 -
notsoblue wrote:*banal public sector jibe*
Just thought I'd get in there before the usual lot do
Mornin'
Stress, apparently:
http://www.hsj.co.uk/news/workforce/str ... 33.article0 -
So are they actually claiming it as a sick day or just an unscheduled day off?
Annual leave.Food Chain number = 4
A true scalp is not only overtaking someone but leaving them stopped at a set of lights. As you, who have clearly beaten the lights, pummels nothing but the open air ahead. ~ 'DondaddyD'. Player of the Unspoken Game0 -
A guy I worked with a while ago was late once with the excuse that he'd been out the night before and pulled, so the next morning he wanted to, erm, have another go, before heading into work.
We couldn't fault his reasoning tbh, though I think in his position I'd have blamed the trains or something instead.0 -
Sounds like an odd excuse. In fact its verging on an insult if a person on the skive thinks so little of you that they can't be bothered to come up with a decent fib.
Dr Self-Employment is a superb physican. Perhaps you should mention that they'd be seeing him soon.0 -
davmaggs wrote:Sounds like an odd excuse. In fact its verging on an insult if a person on the skive thinks so little of you that they can't be bothered to come up with a decent fib.
Dr Self-Employment is a superb physican. Perhaps you should mention that they'd be seeing him soon.
Not sure that an employee needs an excuse or even a fib to take a days annual leave.“New York has the haircuts, London has the trousers, but Belfast has the reason!0 -
Aside from some guy's young son punching his grandmother out; said guy had to leave work and go home to sort it out...
I have only had the usual.0 -
DonDaddyD wrote:Yesterday I got a phone call saying that X staff member wasn't coming in because they "felt cold".
No, not had a cold. They felt chilly.
I'm working from home today and due to my refusal to have the heating on (I'm in one room - what's the point of heating the whole house?), it is a damn sight colder here than it is at work...http://www.georgesfoundation.org
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http://www.12on12in12.blogspot.co.uk/0 -
mroli wrote:DonDaddyD wrote:Yesterday I got a phone call saying that X staff member wasn't coming in because they "felt cold".
No, not had a cold. They felt chilly.
I'm working from home today and due to my refusal to have the heating on (I'm in one room - what's the point of heating the whole house?), it is a damn sight colder here than it is at work...
Comes in handy for avoiding frozen pipes.None of the above should be taken seriously, and certainly not personally.0 -
Employee gets phonecall from wife who is in a panic because there is a 'rustling' noise coming from a packet of cornflakes
Employee has to go home to sort it out.
Employee returns to work a couple of hours later to report that the rustling was a Robin Redbreast which had flown in the window and become trapped in the box of cornflakes.
...
My own excuses (many years ago when young and irresponsible) usually involved hangovers which were passed off as food poisoning from various takeaway establishments.“New York has the haircuts, London has the trousers, but Belfast has the reason!0 -
hatbeard wrote:And a guy I used to work with missed work for almost two weeks because he got sunburn on the soles of his feet whilst on holiday.
Funny I know someone who the same thing ... how?Rule #5 // Harden The Feck Up.
Rule #9 // If you are out riding in bad weather, it means you are a badass. Period.
Rule #12 // The correct number of bikes to own is n+1.
Rule #42 // A bike race shall never be preceded with a swim and/or followed by a run.0 -
itboffin wrote:hatbeard wrote:And a guy I used to work with missed work for almost two weeks because he got sunburn on the soles of his feet whilst on holiday.
Funny I know someone who the same thing ... how?
he said he fell asleep laying on his front with his toes pointed out so his soles were sticking up.Hat + Beard0 -
Not really work absence, but Jasper carrot's skit of how he got out of doing PE by writing his own sick note, pretending it to be from his dad and using an impressive-sounding illness...
"Dear Mr Taylor.
Jasper cannot do PE today as he has just had a vasectomy.
Yours
Mr Carrot (father)"
PE Teacher - "Vasectomey eh Carrot? Hurts does it?"
JC - "Oh yes sir I can hardly walk".0 -
TailWindHome wrote:davmaggs wrote:Sounds like an odd excuse. In fact its verging on an insult if a person on the skive thinks so little of you that they can't be bothered to come up with a decent fib.
Dr Self-Employment is a superb physican. Perhaps you should mention that they'd be seeing him soon.
Not sure that an employee needs an excuse or even a fib to take a days annual leave.
True, but there will be a company policy on how much notice one needs to give before taking annual leave. It's generally frowned upon to take leave unannounced even in our fairly laid-back office.1985 Mercian King of Mercia - work in progress (Hah! Who am I kidding?)
Pinnacle Monzonite
Part of the anti-growth coalition0 -
Best excuse I have had from the receptionist when I was an office manager - I should add we were quite good mates at the time:receptionist wrote:[sick voice]
Hi Olivia, I can't make it in today, I really don't feel well at all...[/sick voice]
Oh sod it, actually I went out last night and got really drunk, and I'm in some bloke's house and I have no idea where I am. Do you know where N17 is? It says it on a letter on the table so I think I might be there.
Cue much laughter from me. We worked out where she was in the end and how best she could get home. She went to the pub in Mayfair. 0 -
mroli wrote:DonDaddyD wrote:Yesterday I got a phone call saying that X staff member wasn't coming in because they "felt cold".
No, not had a cold. They felt chilly.
I'm working from home today and due to my refusal to have the heating on (I'm in one room - what's the point of heating the whole house?), it is a damn sight colder here than it is at work...
Central heating is supposed to heat the structure of the house and that structure then radiates heat. By keeping the heating on at a low level you retain and replenish the heat stored in the mass of the building meaning that you spend much less eneregy over the course of the winter that you would turning the heating on and off again.Mud - Genesis Vapour CCX
Race - Fuji Norcom Straight
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Winter / Commute - Dolan ADX0 -
DonDaddyD wrote:So are they actually claiming it as a sick day or just an unscheduled day off?
Annual leave.
bit of a non issue then isn't it?Purveyor of sonic doom
Very Hairy Roadie - FCN 4
Fixed Pista- FCN 5
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Quite, it takes a lot more energy to heat up a cold house than keep a warm house at a steady temperature. Also draughtproofing really does make a huge difference - a 3mm wide gap around the edge of a 1.5m x 0.9m sash window is equivalent to a hole about 10cm x 15cm.1985 Mercian King of Mercia - work in progress (Hah! Who am I kidding?)
Pinnacle Monzonite
Part of the anti-growth coalition0 -
Well, I'm at home waiting for a plumber 'cos my pipes froze two nights back, and when some of the ice finally freed itself it caused a pressure wave through the system and sprung a leak on the Boiler.
Frantic draining of system to reduce the pressure worked (and it was probably a safety valve) but I'm taking no chances.Chunky Cyclists need your love too! :-)
2009 Specialized Tricross Sport
2011 Trek Madone 4.5
2012 Felt F65X
Proud CX Pervert and quiet roadie. 12 mile commuter0 -
rjsterry wrote:Quite, it takes a lot more energy to heat up a cold house than keep a warm house at a steady temperature. Also draughtproofing really does make a huge difference - a 3mm wide gap around the edge of a 1.5m x 0.9m sash window is equivalent to a hole about 10cm x 15cm.
It's a myth that it takes more energy to heat something up when you need it than to keep it warm all the time. If you think if it in terms of input energy it seems as if the trickle of fuel required to keep it warm all the time can't possibly outweigh the torrent it requires to heat it up in the first place. But if you think of it in terms of energy lost from the house walls, a cold house will simply lose less energy to the environment than a warm one. Its this energy loss to the environment that you spend money to replace - there's no point paying good money to heat an empty house, except to the extent necessary to stop your pipes from bursting.0 -
rhext wrote:rjsterry wrote:Quite, it takes a lot more energy to heat up a cold house than keep a warm house at a steady temperature. Also draughtproofing really does make a huge difference - a 3mm wide gap around the edge of a 1.5m x 0.9m sash window is equivalent to a hole about 10cm x 15cm.
It's a myth that it takes more energy to heat something up when you need it than to keep it warm all the time. If you think if it in terms of input energy it seems as if the trickle of fuel required to keep it warm all the time can't possibly outweigh the torrent it requires to heat it up in the first place. But if you think of it in terms of energy lost from the house walls, a cold house will simply lose less energy to the environment than a warm one. Its this energy loss to the environment that you spend money to replace - there's no point paying good money to heat an empty house, except to the extent necessary to stop your pipes from bursting.
At a basic level, you,re not wrong, but you're ignoring the different thermal properties of the construction of the house. A house isn't a uniform block of stuff, but a series of air-filled spaces surrounded by various different materials with different thermal properties. Thermal comfort is achieved when not only the air temperature, but also the temperature of the building fabric has reached the desired level - somewhere between 18 and 21˚C is the norm. Keeping both the air within a house and the building fabric warm also serves the important purpose of preventing condensation, which in turn prevents mould growth, and decay of the building and it's contents, never mind burst pipes.
If the house is built of a material that can store a lot of heat, but emits/absorbs that heat at a relatively slow rate such as brick or concrete (as most buildings are in this country), then you will have to input a lot more heat to 'fill up' that part of the structure with heat, before the internal environment starts to feel comfortable. Once the structure of the building is at the desired temperature, the rate of heat input can then be reduced to 'top up'.
If on the other hand, your house is of a light-weight construction - like timber frame - with low thermal mass, and a faster 'response' time, then switching the heating on and off is a more viable plan.
Anyway, back to excuses, coz this is getting a bit boring.1985 Mercian King of Mercia - work in progress (Hah! Who am I kidding?)
Pinnacle Monzonite
Part of the anti-growth coalition0 -
I once used "I got toothpaste in my eye" as an excuse for being VERY late....0
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rjsterry wrote:Anyway, back to excuses, coz this is getting a bit boring.
Your inner geek is having an awesome month though on here Le Cannon [98 Cannondale M400] [FCN: 8]
The Mad Monkey [2013 Hoy 003] [FCN: 4]0 -
DonDaddyD wrote:Yesterday I got a phone call saying that X staff member wasn't coming in because they "felt cold".
No, not had a cold. They felt chilly.
You don't work for Newham Borough Council do you? The stories which come out of there are horrific.
- Employee A falls asleep at desk for 4 hours because he's on Steroids. No one challenges him because bosses are all working from home.
- Employee B misplaces £425,000 whilst moving money between accounts. Doesn't realise, takes 4 months to sort out and has to be helped by the auditors to rectify the error.
- Employee B also has a habit of sitting in meetings moisturising her feet and no-one thinks this is strange...FCN 4 - BMC CX020 -
rjsterry wrote:a 3mm wide gap around the edge of a 1.5m x 0.9m sash window is equivalent to a hole about 10cm x 15cm.
Equivalent in terms of area, but in terms of heat loss? If I had a crack that was 15 metres long and 1 mm wide, the area of the crack is 150sq cm. But do I really get the same airflow through a very long, very thin crack as I would through a 10x15 hole?0 -
JonGinge wrote:
His inner geek is probably called TerryMonkeyMonster wrote:rjsterry wrote:Anyway, back to excuses, coz this is getting a bit boring.
Your inner geek is having an awesome month though on here
inner geek? No, I think just plain geek will do. 1985 Mercian King of Mercia - work in progress (Hah! Who am I kidding?)
Pinnacle Monzonite
Part of the anti-growth coalition0 -
hfidgen wrote:- Employee B also has a habit of sitting in meetings moisturising her feet and no-one thinks this is strange...
Is she fit? Are they nice feet....
:oops:Food Chain number = 4
A true scalp is not only overtaking someone but leaving them stopped at a set of lights. As you, who have clearly beaten the lights, pummels nothing but the open air ahead. ~ 'DondaddyD'. Player of the Unspoken Game0
