Crudcatcher dictionary... words words words
Comments
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Fact:
Anything that is in agreement with the views, comments, or musing of yeehaamcgee.
Bollocks:
anything that is not a fact (see above)0 -
POIDH picture or it didn't happen. Eg. " last night I had a 3som with Elle McPherson and a contestant from the apprentice" it may well of been the beat night of your miserable life but as you didn't take pictures of the said act it didn't happen0
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^^that's why I actually bought a camera. Without it, nothing had ever actually happened :?0
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VWsurfbum wrote:[last night I had a 3som with Elle McPherson and a contestant from the apprentice" it may well of been the beat night of your miserable life
I told you about that in the strictest confidence!!!0 -
New Thread
What happens when the stitching of the gusset area of your new Endura shorts starts coming undone1/3rd the way through a long red route ride..0 -
Girls on bikes : A fantasy of most male bikers.0
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Crudcatcher - An webbing device that collects sh1te2014 Whyte T-129S0
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VWsurfbum wrote:
I dont have pictures, but I did manage to do a very nice bress rubbing if that counts?0 -
SEMI SLICK
A baldy guy with a slight swelling in the groin area of his shorts.
7 Stanes
This happens when you slip off the saddle and crush your crown jewels on the top bar.
The Whistler.
Guy on very expensive downhill bike passes you.
Nobby Nic
A bit like 7 Stanes only the skin is burst.
Crank
Roadie on MTB
Wank
Roadie on MTB
Derailleur
When rider and bike part company
Wheel Skewer
Broken spoke pnetrates leg area
Slick
Arrogant guy with very expensive bike
Forks
Things you eat bacon and cakes with
Top Tube
biggest asshole in the group0 -
SEMI SLICK
A baldy guy with a slight swelling in the groin area of his shorts.
7 Stanes
This happens when you slip off the saddle and crush your crown jewels on the top bar.
The Whistler.
Guy on very expensive downhill bike passes you.
Nobby Nic
A bit like 7 Stanes only the skin is burst.
Crank
Roadie on MTB
Wank
Roadie on MTB
Derailleur
When rider and bike part company
Wheel Skewer
Broken spoke pnetrates leg area
Slick
Arrogant guy with very expensive bike
Forks
Things you eat bacon and cakes with
Top Tube
biggest asshole in the group
say what?I still can't understand why I want a singlespeed steel hardtail when I already have a full-susser with 27 gears.0 -
Gazlar wrote:Fettle
To prod at aimlessly with a screwdriver, lowering the functional capability of the item
Additional...
Fine Fettle:
To bash something repeatedly with a 3lb lump hammer until it either surrenders and works or shatters into a collection of a myriad of useless pieces.
Percussion Fettle:
Similar to Fine Fettling, but with a much larger hammer...0 -
toepath: a very very very small footpathVitus Sentier VR+ (2018) GT Grade AL 105 (2016)
Giant Anthem X4 (2010) GT Avalanche 1.0 (2010)
Kingley Vale and QECP Trail Collective - QECP Trail Building0 -
Spoke Tool
A spanner used to close the mouth of those who talk bollocks
Sinlgespeed
A solution for those who cannot count to more than one
Speedo
Gay looking, brightly coloured tight swinning costume worn by Andy
Heartrate monitor
The wife who watches your cardiac reaction when you walk into a bike shop armed with a debit/credit card or cash
Seal Skinz
A phone cover that makes your Smart Phone look like a Special Forces soldier
Tubless
A woman with a very flat chest0 -
Saddle a device with the uncanny ability to crush your gentleman vegetables, and make you fall over sideways from the bike in massive agony
Dog moving obstacle which has an attraction to the front wheel0 -
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Postcount or PC
The most important thing to all men and beings, without it you are nothing. The higher the better. The opposite sex choose mating partners via who has the highest.My Bikes And Me
A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.0 -
Postcount: what you do on those interminable dragging climbs alongside fields in the South of England. Presumably people from the North use the DrystonewallcountVitus Sentier VR+ (2018) GT Grade AL 105 (2016)
Giant Anthem X4 (2010) GT Avalanche 1.0 (2010)
Kingley Vale and QECP Trail Collective - QECP Trail Building0 -
Sixsixone the amount of STD's Kerry Katona has had
Fiveten the amount of STD's Kerry Katona had by the time she was 15
Giro the thing that enables pikeys to buy bike bling
MET responsible for tw@ting demonstrating students
Royal Racing getting away from demonstrating students
Fox big titted fit girls in tight lycra on MTB's0 -
Grave dig - build poor jumps."Do not follow where the path may lead, Go instead where there is no path, and Leave a Trail."
Parktools :?:SheldonBrown0 -
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Scandium: The scandalous price they charge for a frame made of aluminium mixed with some or other stuff
SPD Like STD but known as a "Sexually Passed Disease"
Double Crown Worn by the king of bling (Andy)
Camelback A place where Arabs usually perch themselves when commuting
Dry Lube What a girl who's not enjoying it produces to get by
Stem The slow link between the brain and body when approaching an unexpected 4 foot drop off
Rim Brakes What every heterosexual man has built into his ring to make butt rape difficult and painful
Downhill Where life heads after 40
Carbon What you get when you forget that the bacon is in the oven
Reynolds Steel An unknown actor
Bottom tube Where the girlfriend gets it when you've had too much to drink
Hub A senseless forum where things are supposed to be sensible
Fort William The place where no one can hear Kate scream0 -
Crank - the bloke who sells you the 'genuine' Pinarello on ebay for £250
Spoke - w@nker who cuts you up in the BMW then tells you your the cnut
Top tube - best video of a bike thief being desk ended by the tanga wearing 6'6" west indian owner
Down tube - same dude filmed whilst forced to play mummy on his knees to said p1ssed off owner
Inner tube - let's not go there! :shock:Peter0 -
Hey hey, it's just become me birthday :-)Peter0
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Raymondavalon wrote:Wankstation = Gazlar's house when Mrs. G is awayddraver wrote:^To be fair to Gaz, that could apply to all of our houses.....
What, your house is like that when my Mrs is away, fair play.
It also applies to my house when shes not away, or at work, or busy upstairs, or nipped over the shops or in bed.0 -
DF33 wrote:Hey hey, it's just become me birthday :-)
Birthday - A day when you become self important, thinking everyone else cares, but in reality, nobody does care.......ever, you just get older and older, bitterer and bitterer and the truth is, why should you celebrate a milestone that says you are gradually deteriorating, getting feebler and less able, sure you have experience, but what good is experience when the frame that carries it is crumbling away beneath you. Ok yeah you can try and make up for it, go to a lapdance club, have one off the wrist over a young blonde in a movie, maybe even get yourself a teenage european hooker, but it just leaves you emptier at the end of it, knowing that things will never be how they were, you know the days where you could chase crumpet, now you find yourself looking at a frumpy 40 summat thinking, 2yeah she'd do a job, maybe she's a nice person too, she could be just what I need" but the truth is need and want are two different things, what you want is something completely different, you want a 20 year old busty Lithuanian girl who loves it up the wrong un' but its not happening, and if it does its only because you've flown her in and are sugar daddying her, but you know that every time she goes out, shes getting her garden ploughed by a rugby player called Scott, its just a spiral of doom and despair and you end up sitting, alone in an armchair, rocking and sobbing into a lukewarm kebab wondering why you can't see your penis any more when you stand up and struggling to open your can of kestrel super lager.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY0 -
And I didn't think we'd met! Must be the Dementia again
Anyway, happy easter to you all from the Altzeimers societyPeter0
