guess its the end of the road

GavH

Option A:
Buy a Turbo trainer, set it up in front of the TV. Ride it 'til SHE gets fed up with you hogging the tele and dripping sweat all over the living room.

Option B:
Resign from your job in order that you can spend more time around the house AND riding your bike. Explain how this selfless act means she'll need to find a more lucrative employment herself in order to bridge the gap.

See how long it takes before 4 hrs out on the road forms a more acceptable option for her!

radiation man

if i only do shorter rides about 30 miles, with plenty of hills, will i still be fit enough to do 50 to 60 mile sportives, or do i need longer distances

Ben6899

radiation man wrote:

if i only do shorter rides about 30 miles, with plenty of hills, will i still be fit enough to do 50 to 60 mile sportives, or do i need longer distances

I don't think ride length and sportive conditioning is what you need to be concerned about, if I can be frank for a minute...

acebobby

radiation man wrote:

if i only do shorter rides about 30 miles, with plenty of hills, will i still be fit enough to do 50 to 60 mile sportives, or do i need longer distances

You need to be more clear as to how many times a week you will be doing these 30 milers!
Though what if you still get stick after your 30 milers, ask for an inch and take a mile and all that! Maybe it would be better to write up a weekly training plan show it to her, when she see's your not taking up too many hours all will be well!

ademort

morstar wrote:

ademort wrote:

When i was married we had kids and my argument was that i want to go out on the bike. Her argument was that she is at home looking after the kids all day and feels that when i come home from work i should take over the responsibility to give her a break.. I said OK SO I COME HOME FROM WORK AND IMMEDIATELY START LOOKING AFTER THE KIDS AND WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO WHEN I LOOK AFTER THE KIDS. Her reply was sit down and put my feet up.I said you get a job we pay the nanny and do tthe house work together and take turns looking after the kids so we can both have a break if we want one. My wife refused. I,ve been divorced 7 years now never regretted it and my ex-wife has to look after the kids all the time. Who won the argument, i did i think.I,ve just turned 47 and have an excellent physical condition. If i,d stayed married i,d probably be 20 to 30 kilos heavier than i am now with a terrible physical condition.If i were you i,d have a serious talk with your wife.
Ademort

I can relate to a lot of what you say but...
Your kids don't seem to feature very highly on your radar!
Maybe that is how it has to be to handle the situation or maybe it just doesn't matter. It's possibly not great advice though.

Sorry, the kids mean everything to me. My wife wanted me to stay at home every weekday and at weekends, she never wanted to go anywhere, and thats not changed. Now i have the kids in the weekend and we do whatever we want. The kids are getting older now and come round during the week aswell.Dont get me wrong it wasnt just the fact that i couldnt go cycling that let to my divorce there were other Major factors. In the end it was for the best.

jamlala

39, full time sales job, 2 kids with my ex living 1 hour from me whom I see 4 days out of seven (unless I am away with work, like now!), and a current partner to satisfy ;o) and I still generally get out 3 times a week for 2 x 30 milers and 1 x longer. I did the Essex 100 yesterday so it can be done. Interval training works absolute wonders. I'd never have believed it until I tried, hills just melt away (relatively speaking) with the correct training.

Like everyone has said, you have to make time. Early mornings have to be taken advantage of, less traffic around too!

Ands

You will be amazed how many more hours you can squeeze out of the week if you plan ahead. You probably waste 4 hrs a week - 1/2 an hour a day - mooching around with no purpose. Get your wife to plan with you. Prepare your DIY tasks beforehand so you don't end up making a 2hr job take 4 hrs because you haven't got the right tools/materials. Get your bike/bottles ready the night before so you can save 30 mins in the morning and get home 30 mins earlier. Make sure she factors in her own "me" time into the plan as well.

Chris James

radiation man wrote:

if i only do shorter rides about 30 miles, with plenty of hills, will i still be fit enough to do 50 to 60 mile sportives, or do i need longer distances

Yes. I am in the same position and usually only manage to get out for 2-3 hour runs twice a week.

Come winter I replace one of the runs with a couple of turbo sessions.

I have done 60 mile sportives in decent times and longer, flatter, runs of up to about 80 miles on occasions without too many problems.

Some of the advice here is quite funny, but really rather sexist. For example, my wife has no interest in being allowed time to buy shoes or go shopping., She'd rather be off mountaineering! She also likes spending time with me, and me with her, that's why we got married. I even QUITE like my kids!

BG2000

radiation man wrote:

looks like my sportive days are over, when i go on rides of 60 mile it takes me 4 hrs, then i get stick from wife nothing getting done about the house, i just cant find the time to keep fit if i just go to work on bike it is only 6 mls each way doing that wont get me fit for 50 plus sportives, im also 49 and it takes me a while to recover from longer rides.

It's about compromise. Maybe you can encourage your wife to take up a hobby or sport that means she get's out the house while you stay in and take care of things. Then she'll hopefully be OK staying at home when you want to go out. You'll enjoy rides more knowing that your wife isn't annoyed at you being out. My wife just wants me to be honest about when I'll be home, and that I put everything on our calendar in advance. Women just have a funny way of expressing themselves sometimes. It could just be that she likes having you around at home, which is nice really.
Good luck.

andyrr

Should be quite possible to do meaningful turbo sessions early morning / late at night.
I wanted to ride to work today, wasn't able to (needed to drive home to get home quicker tonight) so got up around 6:15, 10x1 mins with 1 min recovery and I was on my way to work by 7am.
Will likely do another 45min session tonight, on road or turbo, weather depending at some point this evening too.
Reduce the time wastage, get shoes etc all ready beforehand, bike sat in the turbo so no faffing about.
20+ minute turbo sessions will improve fitness, get in longer rides as and when you can, leaving the house to ride to work the long way, leave work sharp to ride home the long way etc.

SmellTheGlove

I'm 47 do six miles a day commute and am doing my first sportive this weekend and I expect I'll be sh@gged after the 50+ miles. The missus also gives me comparable stick for doing other stuff e.g. playing cricket.
A suggestion - how about, give up for the rest of this week, then take it up again around the 12th with a whole new raft of expectations.
My favourite ploy is to ask on a Thursday night about what is planned for the weekend. If stuff all then happens, it's not because I didn't think ahead.
End of road be buggered.

bompington

SmellTheGlove wrote:

I'm 47 do six miles a day commute and am doing my first sportive this weekend and I expect I'll be sh@gged after the 50+ miles

I usually just get a kiss when I get home

Soni

My wife doesn't mind me going out cycling luckily, however I DO MIND missing out on time with her and my two children whilst doing 55-85 mile club rides at weekends, so therefore only do a club run once every 4-6 weeks, and for training I ride every morning before work, out of the house at the latest 05:45 in the mornings for a 20 mile spin, and then come back, bath, and off to work, its the same at the weekends only i extend the ride to about 30-35 mile rides at the weekends as have more time as no work to get to, but still back in the house early.

oscarbudgie

My OH positively encourages me to go out riding as often as possible. Should I be worried?

sampras38

I guess you've just got to be sensible about it. My wife is pretty understanding but I do try and make sure my riding doesn't affect the family too much. I've got a 2 yr old and a 4 yr old, and both me and the wife work (she's not full-time) and I still manage to get enough time on the bike to keep my fitness up, get gold times in most of my sportives and the odd week in the Alps without the family.

I'm on the turbo at night after the kids have gone to bed (with the odd ride outside in the week if time allows), plus I'll do 2, 3, 4 hour rides at the weekend, making sure I go out very early, or when she and the kids aren't around. We both have very busy lives and still manage to make it work.

It hasn't always been easy and there have been a handful of rows about cycling, but overall it's all good.