guess its the end of the road

radiation man

looks like my sportive days are over, when i go on rides of 60 mile it takes me 4 hrs, then i get stick from wife nothing getting done about the house, i just cant find the time to keep fit if i just go to work on bike it is only 6 mls each way doing that wont get me fit for 50 plus sportives, im also 49 and it takes me a while to recover from longer rides.

Ben6899

Yep looks like the end of the road. My mate just finalised a divorce so if you need any help...

Bobbinogs

Ben6899 wrote:

Yep looks like the end of the road. My mate just finalised a divorce so if you need any help...

cougie

sooo what does your wife do all week ? FFS - 4 hours out of an entire week is bugger all. EVERYONE should exercise more than that.

sundog

radiation man wrote:

looks like my sportive days are over, when i go on rides of 60 mile it takes me 4 hrs, then i get stick from wife nothing getting done about the house, i just cant find the time to keep fit if i just go to work on bike it is only 6 mls each way doing that wont get me fit for 50 plus sportives, im also 49 and it takes me a while to recover from longer rides.

ditto other comments, i was married to a woman like that once

stannie

Oh dear. It doesn't look like there is any hope for me. I am 47 and have only just decided to ride Sportives! I hope my husband is more supportive than your wife!

Seriously, if you want to do it you will find time - get a turbo trainer for the winter and buy your wife some new shoes and handbags to keep her happy ( unless she is like me and would prefer a bike instead )

Get up earlier and ride a longer distance to work - she won't worry about that!
Alternatively, throw the towel in and just sit on the Sofa watching cycling. She will get fed up of you cluttering up the house and beg for you to get out of her way and do something!

squigs

If its any help,
I get to go out when ever I want so my wife looks after my son while i go for a ride(several Hours) I get a BJ on request, sex on tap and I have just spent £3000 on a Roubaix.
Carlsberg Doesnt do wifes but if they did!!!!!!!

kingrollo

Whack up your TV subscription to include all sports\ porn channels - sit in front of it slurping cans of booze, and eating bacon butties - make sure sure trousers are round the arse when doing DIY .....and do it badly.

Serouisly I don't like to miss out my kids - can't you go out at 7am - and be back for 10 - top up with turbo sessions and just accept your sportive times aren't going to be great - [at least you will have someone to blame]

Garz

Threaten to emit some of that radiation if she doesn't yield..

acebobby

Put your foot down man!
You know that noise a cracking whip makes, cant put it into words but that is relevant to this thread!
People's hobbies are their life, giving something up that you love doing will fill you with resentment later in life, and you will blame her for making you give it up!
does your wife have any hobbies? Does your lifestyle choices make you much fitter than her cause she may be jealous of how fit you are, (That really happens) then partners get all insecure and think your going to meet someone fitter than them!
Talk to her about it, ask if she would like to come out cycling with you, but more than anything sit her down and explain to her that this is what you do, this is who you are, and giving it up is not an option!

Dunkindiver

Do interval training on your rides to and from work, that'll boost your fitness, or add a few more miles a day to your work route.

Velonutter

My Future Son-in-law go out at 05:30 twice a week and do a quick fast 30, back home in under a hour and a half before my missus gets in from working nights.

I ride with my Club on a Sunday and my wife gets on with her stuff until I'm back, I try to take her out once a week no matter how knackered I am.

Try to work together, there is always time, perhaps your going out at the wrong time!

sheffsimon

radiation man wrote:

looks like my sportive days are over, when i go on rides of 60 mile it takes me 4 hrs, then i get stick from wife nothing getting done about the house, i just cant find the time to keep fit if i just go to work on bike it is only 6 mls each way doing that wont get me fit for 50 plus sportives, im also 49 and it takes me a while to recover from longer rides.

Go out at 7 on a Sunday mornin, back for 11, jobs round the house in the afternoon.

Do the same myself, except the jobs round the house bit

Extend your commute home two or three nights a week to include an hour of intervals. Should be more than enough to keep your sportive times respectable.

Tell her to find something better to worry about than some housework. As others have said, life is there to be lived. Yes, we all have household stuff to do, but not to the exclusion of any other hobbies, sports, whatever.

Ben6899

SheffSimon wrote:

As others have said, life is there to be lived. Yes, we all have household stuff to do, but not to the exclusion of any other hobbies, sports, whatever.

Simon speak da troot.

SBezza

SheffSimon wrote:

Yes, we all have household stuff to do, but not to the exclusion of any other hobbies, sports, whatever.

Do we , my poor wife has had to put up with a month and a bit with me spending most of my free time on the bike, plenty of time in the winter to do household stuff.

Seriously as has been mentioned above leave the house early, get your ride in, and then you have the afternoon to get household stuff done, or do it on the other weekend day,/in the evenings.

Alternatively make a cycle commute longer on the way home, if getting back late from work isn't an issue.

Dave-M

We got a cleaner to avoid this discussion.

SBezza

Dave-M wrote:

We got a cleaner to avoid this discussion.

We got a 5 year old kid, so it is pointless

CiB

Age shall not weary them, nor the years condemn...

Jeez mate I'm 48 & a bit porky but that's nothing to do with how fast I can go. Look at the leathery-skinned old lads on a Sunday ride keeping up a merry pace. It's not your age, it's your attitude.

Make time. Do the household chores first, or the night before, then get out on the bike knowing that your work is done. Spend Quality Time [cough splutter] with the kids, then get out for an hour or two.

Your old lady might have a point about not doing enough with the kids + house if you don't actually do enough, but there's always time. It's more likely to do with the amount of time she gets to spend doing her 'pointless me-time' activities. If she has time to indulge in her hobbies / interests, she'll cut you more slack. So make the time for her to do that.

Simples, I believe you younsgters say these days.

Rouge Penguin

Ive had to get up early, or use the trainer late with a 5 month old. Getting in from work and straight out on the bike is apparently bad form after the wifes looked after the baby all day.

Just adapt your training. It might mean you have to sacrifice sleep or lie ins, but how much do you love riding?

themightyw

cougie wrote:

FFS - 4 hours out of an entire week is bugger all. EVERYONE should exercise more than that.

Exactly! If your partner's stopping you from doing something that's a) taking you up to the bare minimum of exercise you should really be doing and b) makes you happy then you have bigger fish to fry... Go out early or go out late. There are ways to make it work.

brettjmcc

Take your bike to work, tell her you are working late and then go out for a training ride. Works for me 8)

fast as fupp

boot her out!

acebobby

brettjmcc wrote:

Take your bike to work, tell her you are working late and then go out for a training ride. Works for me 8)

Bad idea telling lies like that, what happens if your involved in a accident and she thinks your at work! Time to man up and just tell her your going out on your bike!

brettjmcc

I was being comical, it sometimes get lost on forums; plus I have a wierd sense of humour, my wife would confirm that...

I have a 15 month year old. I balance it by going out after work one night, looking after him the next whilst my wife (who also works) goes to the gym or does something she wants to do. For example, she will be out tonight/Wed and Thurs. I'll be out tomorrow having a little spin after the Essex 100 yesterday. Then I'll go at the weekend for 2.5 hours in the morning after getting him up and doing his milk/brekkie.

To the other point, I'll also tidy up/do the washing etc once he's gone to bed.

Seriously to the OP. You can find the time fella. Like others say its maybe looking at areas /trade-offs.

Hrun

Talk to your good lady about this. Otherwise you will only end up resenting cutting back.

dmch2

I have the problem that my wife works shifts so we have a reduced number of evenings when we're both in. When she's at work i'm babysitting our 4 year old. So if i spend more than one of the evenings out cycling i'm in trouble!

Weekends are tricky for the same reason as she's often working one or other of the days so doesn't appreciate me being out on the other day.

I end up taking the bike on the roof when we go out at the weekend then i can cycle home from wherever we we've been.

top_bhoy

If your riding out a few hours each week causes her problems, she has other underlying issues. Its not about the bike!!!

taz3611

Good to see she's the understanding type! Doesn't she have a life other than work and chores? Doesn't she have a hobby/interest? My missus and me had a similar discussion until we worked out how long she spent watching soaps, recordings, etc. Compared it to my 'bike time'. No contest. No complaints these days

ademort

When i was married we had kids and my argument was that i want to go out on the bike. Her argument was that she is at home looking after the kids all day and feels that when i come home from work i should take over the responsibility to give her a break.. I said OK SO I COME HOME FROM WORK AND IMMEDIATELY START LOOKING AFTER THE KIDS AND WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO WHEN I LOOK AFTER THE KIDS. Her reply was sit down and put my feet up.I said you get a job we pay the nanny and do tthe house work together and take turns looking after the kids so we can both have a break if we want one. My wife refused. I,ve been divorced 7 years now never regretted it and my ex-wife has to look after the kids all the time. Who won the argument, i did i think.I,ve just turned 47 and have an excellent physical condition. If i,d stayed married i,d probably be 20 to 30 kilos heavier than i am now with a terrible physical condition.If i were you i,d have a serious talk with your wife.
Ademort

morstar

ademort wrote:

When i was married we had kids and my argument was that i want to go out on the bike. Her argument was that she is at home looking after the kids all day and feels that when i come home from work i should take over the responsibility to give her a break.. I said OK SO I COME HOME FROM WORK AND IMMEDIATELY START LOOKING AFTER THE KIDS AND WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO WHEN I LOOK AFTER THE KIDS. Her reply was sit down and put my feet up.I said you get a job we pay the nanny and do tthe house work together and take turns looking after the kids so we can both have a break if we want one. My wife refused. I,ve been divorced 7 years now never regretted it and my ex-wife has to look after the kids all the time. Who won the argument, i did i think.I,ve just turned 47 and have an excellent physical condition. If i,d stayed married i,d probably be 20 to 30 kilos heavier than i am now with a terrible physical condition.If i were you i,d have a serious talk with your wife.
Ademort

I can relate to a lot of what you say but...
Your kids don't seem to feature very highly on your radar!
Maybe that is how it has to be to handle the situation or maybe it just doesn't matter. It's possibly not great advice though.

Ben6899

ademort wrote:

When i was married we had kids and my argument was that i want to go out on the bike. Her argument was that she is at home looking after the kids all day and feels that when i come home from work i should take over the responsibility to give her a break.. I said OK SO I COME HOME FROM WORK AND IMMEDIATELY START LOOKING AFTER THE KIDS AND WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO WHEN I LOOK AFTER THE KIDS. Her reply was sit down and put my feet up.I said you get a job we pay the nanny and do tthe house work together and take turns looking after the kids so we can both have a break if we want one. My wife refused. I,ve been divorced 7 years now never regretted it and my ex-wife has to look after the kids all the time. Who won the argument, i did i think.I,ve just turned 47 and have an excellent physical condition. If i,d stayed married i,d probably be 20 to 30 kilos heavier than i am now with a terrible physical condition.If i were you i,d have a serious talk with your wife.
Ademort

FTK, eh. Christ.