Ryan Airs latest idea...
Splottboy
Posts: 3,693
...Is to: Replace co-pilots with "trained" stewardesses, to fly the plane in emergencies.
( Yahoo and TV news sources.)
I'm sorry, BUT...to let some dyed-blonde, 4 ins of makeup bimbo who couldn't get a job in Boots, fly a plane???!!!
What are all the co-pilots gonna do? There's only so many Village People tribute acts the public can handle.
( Yahoo and TV news sources.)
I'm sorry, BUT...to let some dyed-blonde, 4 ins of makeup bimbo who couldn't get a job in Boots, fly a plane???!!!
What are all the co-pilots gonna do? There's only so many Village People tribute acts the public can handle.
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I'm sorry, but if thats the case and they replace them with a multitasker, I will not be flying ryanair, no matter how cheap it is. fair enough employ a trained pilot as a steward, thats fine, but I dont like the fact that they have to summon them from elsewhere on the plane in an emergency. If they can cut corners here, then where next. Theres a line that just shouldnt be crossed0
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Why don't they just teach the co-pilots to hostess? Surely cheaper than to get air hostess folk pilot licences (sure there is a legal requirement to have two qualified pilots on passenger flights)Formally known as Coatbridgeguy0
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How the Hell can co-pilots be stewardesses?
They wear FAR too much makeup already!0 -
I already hate flying ryan air because of the crappy service, so many restrictions on luggage and the overly expensive drinks on board, but I still fly because it's half the price of other airlines. If they do this, i'm never flying again. Does anyone want to hire me to be a pilot, I need the money.I'll probably do better than all the bimbos working as hostesses, as I actually know some mechanical stuff, and a choke to me isn't what happens when she's got a d*ck down her throat.0
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A Public Service Announcement from Ryanair's CEO
Canyon XC 8.0 '11
Whyte 19 steel '100 -
god that mans a cretin
couldn't care less who flies their tin cans , wouldnt use them anyway.0 -
I'll never use them unless there is no choice - crap service, loads of hidden charges and Michael Ryan's attitude really grates on me. They were even considering charging a Euro to use the khazi on the plane FFS :roll:
A classic case of getting what you pay for."I spent most of my money on birds, booze and fast cars: the rest of it I just squandered." [George Best]0 -
Who?0
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Isn't his brother on the X Factor judges panel???0
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whenever i fly (rarely admittedly) i just fly with them cause im poor, and accept that because ive not paid much i will be treated like absolute shite the whole way through
also, nowerdays pretty much all the flying of a plane is done by computer, (take off is one of the few execptions, as the pilot has to wait for the get go from the control tower), landing and the majority of the time in the air, the pilot is just as much as passenger as you or i, so that really doesnt bother me atall.0 -
Stevo 666 wrote:I'll never use them unless there is no choice - crap service, loads of hidden charges and Michael Ryan's attitude really grates on me. They were even considering charging a Euro to use the khazi on the plan FFS :roll:
A classic case of getting what you pay for.
I'd rather get ignored or pay extorionate prices on things i'm not going to buy just to save half price off the fare. Works well for me, and leaves money for me to get drunk at my destination.0 -
In future the crew on the flight deck will consist of a pilot and a dog.
The pilot will be there to monitor the flight, and the dog will be there to bite the pilot if he tries to touch anything!0 -
I'd prefer to be treated like a human being, fly in relative luxury - not difficult if your point of comparison is Ryanair - and still get pissed at my destination (or before, given that the airlines I use give me grog in with the priceMountainMonster wrote:I'd rather get ignored or pay extorionate prices on things i'm not going to buy just to save half price off the fare. Works well for me, and leaves money for me to get drunk at my destination.
). Air miles earned on company business kinda take the sting out out of the prices, mind. "I spent most of my money on birds, booze and fast cars: the rest of it I just squandered." [George Best]0 -
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You are kidding, right? If you went to a pub or a restaurant and they wanted money off you to take a p1ss, how would you react? It should be in with the service. This was only partly in jest:bails87 wrote:Stevo 666 wrote:They were even considering charging a Euro to use the khazi on the plane FFS :roll:
Why can't people understand that this is a fairly sensible idea? Why should I subsidise the person who has 10 sh1ts on a flight?!
http://thetechangel.com/blogberry/2009/03/the-ryanair-safety-card-for-2009/
PS: have you ever met anyone who has had 10 dumps on a flight, apart from ones who have eaten Ryanair in-flight catering?"I spent most of my money on birds, booze and fast cars: the rest of it I just squandered." [George Best]0 -
Stevo 666 wrote:
You are kidding, right? If you went to a pub or a restaurant and they wanted money off you to take a p1ss, how would you react? It should be in with the service. This was only partly in jest:bails87 wrote:Stevo 666 wrote:They were even considering charging a Euro to use the khazi on the plane FFS :roll:
Why can't people understand that this is a fairly sensible idea? Why should I subsidise the person who has 10 sh1ts on a flight?!
http://thetechangel.com/blogberry/2009/03/the-ryanair-safety-card-for-2009/
PS: have you ever met anyone who has had 10 dumps on a flight, apart from ones who have eaten Ryanair in-flight catering?
But you've never been to a train station where you have to pay to use the toilets?
They average out though don't they. Say it costs £1 every time someone uses the toilet on a plane, so if you go 4 times and I don't go at all, they'll have made a guess at how many times the average person will go. If it's 2, then I've paid for your two trips to the toilet. Why should I pay for something I don't use? I'd be quite happy for fat people to pay more actually, they weigh more, they use more fuel!
Edit: What if, instead of trips to the toilet, we were talking about duty free stuff. They add £50 onto your ticket price and everyone can have as much duty free booze on the plane as they want. If you need to be sober when you land (Need to drive, going to a meeting etc), is it right that you're paying for someone else to get hammered? 0 -
Fat barstewards and booze I can agree with - though the booze bit is easily solved by drinking your fair share. But how much excactly do you think a trip to the bog costs the airline? - sweet FA is my guess. The cost of water, a few sheets of bog roll and a bit of soap. Compared the price of running a plane it doesn't even register.
AFAIK Ryanair didn't end up charging for bog trips in the end, even a bunch of f****ing crooks like them thought it wasn't a good idea. And no other airline would even go near it. If it was even half a decent idea, someone would have done it. But they haven't, because it's not
If you're still feeling aggrieved I'll post you 5p to cover the costs the airlines have done you out of."I spent most of my money on birds, booze and fast cars: the rest of it I just squandered." [George Best]0 -
Stevo 666 wrote:Fat barstewards and booze I can agree with - though the booze bit is easily solved by drinking your fair share. But how much excactly do you think a trip to the bog costs the airline? - sweet FA is my guess. The cost of water, a few sheets of bog roll and a bit of soap. Compared the price of running a plane it doesn't even register.
AFAIK Ryanair didn't end up charging for bog trips in the end, even a bunch of f****ing crooks like them thought it wasn't a good idea. And no other airline would even go near it. If it was even half a decent idea, someone would have done it. But they haven't, because it's not
If you're still feeling aggrieved I'll post you 5p to cover the costs the airlines have done you out of.
It's alright, I've got a 10 hour flight coming up, I'll be eating nothing but lentil curry and bran flakes before it, just to get my money's worth!
I'd imagine the costs of the toilets are actually quite high, considering you need to lift the toilet up to 30,000feet for a few hours, along with all the blue stuff, and then clean it out when you land.
I'm not saying it's the right thing, or I'd be particularly happy to pay, but from an economic point of view it makes perfect sense. UInfortunately it sounds bad to the man on the street. But then maybe they never intended to do it and it was just a way of getting more publicity 0 -
You guys are missing the point.
All these "mad" money making schemes that Ryanair come up with never really make it into the real world, but they do thrust Ryanair into the spotlight again. Michael Ryan is a great believer in the maxim that there's no such thing as bad publicity.0 -
OK so.....
As a former hostie, I don't wear 4 inches thick of makeup....I just like glitter eyeliner
I am also not stupid and although I am not a qualified pilot, I am contemplating getting my JAA PPL, and have been for a while. I think I would be perfectly able to control an aircraft with the correct training.
HOWEVER....
Ryanair is ruled by the CAA as are other airlines, if the CAA aren't happy about it, it WILL NOT happen. There needs to be 2 people in the flightdeck for the bulk of the flight, take-off, landing, severe weather, if one needs to eat/frequent the facilities etc. So, they would be in there a lot more than in the cabin.
A boeing 737-800 which make up the entire fleet for Ryanair requires 4 crew to operate with a full complement of passengers. They need to be in the cabin not the flight deck. So they would still require the same ammount of crew as they do now.....ie 2 pilots and 4 cabin crew! Therefore my guess is that this is actually a pile of to$$ and Ryanair probably never even proposed this, it is more likely a rumour made up by a bored jounalist on a slow news day!
As for the charging for toilets, this was always going to fail...for 2 reasons.
1) Boeing refused to make coin operated toilet doors.
2) The aircraft toilet needs to be unlockable QUICKLY (ie no keys) from the outside by crew for emergency purposes. So you could not have to pay to open the toilet door to get into it, as the crew even having to find and use a 'token' or key to open the door really wouldn't be practical. So the coin would have to be used to be able to lock the door....like a locker. However what are passengers going to do, they aren't going to pay to lock the door...they would just hold it shut when they go to relieve themselves.Ride it like you stole it!0 -
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Thanks MB. At last, some sense from someone who actually knows about the industry rather than me and Bails (quite literally) talking sh1te
@Bails, I have a vested interest in this 'pay per dump' business as I've got 22 hours of flying to get through this weekend and another 22 hours back a few days later. Thankfully Ryanair don't do long haul, so I can sit back in my nice roomy BA seat and try to get my moneys worth from the drinks trolley while I catch up on some movies :P Suppose I should do a 'khazi count' to amuse myself..."I spent most of my money on birds, booze and fast cars: the rest of it I just squandered." [George Best]0 -
Stevo 666 wrote:Suppose I should do a 'khazi count' to amuse myself...
But there's no marginal cost, so the lack of understanding of sunk costs* would make you inclined to go more often than if you had to pay each time. I think we should do a proper study!
*as opposed to floater costs.....0 -
bails87 wrote:Stevo 666 wrote:Suppose I should do a 'khazi count' to amuse myself...
But there's no marginal cost, so the lack of understanding of sunk costs* would make you inclined to go more often than if you had to pay each time. I think we should do a proper study!
*as opposed to floater costs.....
I will keep a 'log' on my upcoming travels. But don't be surprised if my findings are a load of cr@p.
PS: I'm a chartered acountant so I know what sunk costs are !"I spent most of my money on birds, booze and fast cars: the rest of it I just squandered." [George Best]0 -
Stevo 666 wrote:PS: I'm a chartered acountant so I know what sunk costs are !
Wow, you must be pretty flush!
That's good to know though, I can't help but cringe when people say things like "I may as well do X, Y, Z, because I've already paid for it".0 -
O'Leary says all this stuff for the free publicity. He loves winding up the newspapers. As Miss Bint says, the CAA and the European authorities regulate the industry to an incredibly strict degree and would never allow any relaxation.
There is, however, a part of the safety procedures (in BA, at least) that deals with pilot incapacitation. That would be the scenario where one of the pilots slumps unconscious (you decide the reason!) over the controls. The cabin crew have to practise operating the powered seat controls to allow room to drag him/her out so that a) they can be given first aid and b) to clear the controls. The remaining pilot then asks a cabin crew member to sit in the other seat and read out the checklists when required. But the procedure does not involve the cabin crew member touching any controls other than the seat and the oxygen mask if required and they are the only flight deck controls they can touch. Although all cabin crew do know how to turn the galley power on on the ground to get the kettle on quickly.Canyon XC 8.0 '11
Whyte 19 steel '100 -
He probably does but the only thing it did was make me want to never use his airline - even more than I did before. There are probaly quite a few people out there who might have consdiered Ryanair but then saw the proposal in the news and though "What a bunch of c***s, I'm never using then". So not all publicity is good publicity (if you don't believe me, ask William Hague or Wayne Rooney).Happy Harry wrote:O'Leary says all this stuff for the free publicity."I spent most of my money on birds, booze and fast cars: the rest of it I just squandered." [George Best]0 -
You'd like to think so, wouldn't you? But we seem to be in a minority. Under O'Leary's leadership Ryanair has expanded to the point that it is now the largest airline in the world by international passengers carried (Wiki)!Stevo 666 wrote:There are probaly quite a few people out there who might have consdiered Ryanair but then saw the proposal in the news and though "What a bunch of c***s, I'm never using then".
Not a lot of people know that Canyon XC 8.0 '11
Whyte 19 steel '100 -
Stevo 666 wrote:So not all publicity is good publicity (if you don't believe me, ask William Hague or Wayne Rooney).
Yes, because all this talk about William Hague wasn't at all conveniently timed to give the papers something to use to hide the scandal about phone tapping, seemingly orchestrated by the PMs media chief, no, not at all....
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