naive question

gtvlusso

I even lucked in with the wife when she saw me doing a 1 handed track stand in our garden, pre putting bike in shed..

Cool, sexy, wilma....

dhope

I saw the best example of freewheel, no handed, sitting, completely nonchalant trackstanding yesterday lunchtime, on a totally unsuitable bike. Then the car next to him pulled away and I saw the delivery box he was towing that would have provided some pretty ample stabilisers and he wasn't, infact, trackstanding at all.
Still, I couldn't stand up for a few minutes after all the cool/sexy excitement.

lost_in_thought

Weighing in on this...

Trackstanding = IF (completely stopped in ASL/ before solid line, not completely stopped in ASL/before solid line OR creeping forward, cool, prat)

There's also what Prof Clarkson calls the Kristin Scott Thomas factor, whereby one asks oneself whether a car is cool/sexy based on what Kristin Scott Thomas would say if you arrived to collect her in it.

We can apply this factor to trackstanding and find that the above IF formula is doubly true with the KST factor applied.

Headhuunter

Greg T wrote:

TommyEss wrote:

It's a shame there's so little of Greg to go around - we're all soo hot for him and his non-chocolate foot right now... :oops:

You see.

Cool / Sex Rating

Trackstanding
Non Chocolate Foot Forward

= hot as the surface of sun in August eating peri peri Chicken.

I might find you sexy if (a) I had clapped eyes on you or (b) I knew what the feck a "chocolate foot" was, let a lone a "non chocolate foot". Please post pics of yourself and your chocolate foot for my immediate approval...

dhope

lost_in_thought wrote:

Weighing in on this...

Trackstanding = IF (completely stopped in ASL/ before solid line, not completely stopped in ASL/before solid line OR creeping forward, cool, prat)

What sort of crazy uncool pseudo-Excel mixing prefix and infix formulae is that? People that trackstand work in Design and thus would be more akin to some sort of CSS conditional or similar.

KST appreciates consistent notation.

TommyEss

Chocolate Foot

...not...

will3

So to summarise all this track standing malarkey:
fixies are really good for not going anywhere on.

SimonAH

How cool is flipflop belt drive fixie? Just waiting for my spokes to arrive at the LBS and I'll be handing out wood all over South Wales I reckon. :P

cee

will3 wrote:

So to summarise all this track standing malarkey:
fixies are really good for not going anywhere on.

correct. fixies work best when you don't have to go anywhere. If on the other hand you want to go places, then a freewheel is what you want..probably with gears...

however...the KST factor can only be applied if you are where you are supposed to be. This is why fixies are cooler...

Incidentally, only the KST factor can negate the previous explained brakes on a fixies factor...

I only detailed one brake...

the new formula for more than 1 would be more like:

sc == b : sc -= ((sexy - 3(b))^cool) + KST/b ? sc += ((sexy + 3)^cool) + KST

see? obvious!

wgwarburton

Greg T wrote:

...I'm currently dabbling in the 20% category by learning to trackstand with my non chocolate foot forward. ...

Unfortunately, you've blown it by using a term which strongly suggests you've read an article on how to learn trackstanding..

All coolness points accrued are, sadly, forfeit for the purposes of this discussion...though, obviously, casual bystanders may never know....

Cheers,
W.

supersonic

I can trackstand no handed with gears. So there.

Fixies are a bugger to bunnyhop and jump on, but then I guess you commuters don't do much of that anyway

Greg T

SimonAH wrote:

How cool is flipflop belt drive fixie?

Flip flops. NOT cool. Fixed is cool - SS is not cool. SS is stupid geared.

KST would not care. However......

Vicki Pendleton would.... I suggest that the Burd Arbiter of Cool (BAC) in this space is VP. Impress her with your SS?

Belt drive. NOT Cool.

I'm afraid Simon You are not cool / sexy. You are almost hot but have made some basic (and in your choice of belt drive non approved) errors......

neiltb

belt drives for hoovers

Gussio

neiltb wrote:

belt drives for hoovers

And traction engines

SimonAH

Oh Greg, you are so harsh. And so very wrong.

Fixed for 90% of the time, SS for when I have to tackle some really hilly runs out of the town so allowing me to hammer down hills at 40mph plus (pb 43 so far on Newport Hill)

Belt drive is way sexy. Light, silent, clean, unusual and unlike a chain doesn't stretch so EVEN LESS maintenance that you guys.

Greg T

WGWarburton wrote:

Greg T wrote:

...I'm currently dabbling in the 20% category by learning to trackstand with my non chocolate foot forward. ...

Unfortunately, you've blown it by using a term which strongly suggests you've read an article on how to learn trackstanding...

This is true - my initial attempt to learn how to do it by just - you know stopping and falling over - was not succesful - so I asked how.....

Now then.....

We need a basic Food Chain to hang our modifiers off......

SCR goes by bike type - this may be sensible - however - this is completely at odds with the SCR ethos. Being fast is Cool but going fast doesn't mean you are cool....

It's a minefield...

perhaps we need a matrix....

Bike Type
Running Gear (fixed / SS / "normal" geared / shudder Hub etc etc)
Pilot apparel
Hairyness (legs / beard)
Nonchalance
Trackstanding
etc etc

Bike type first.....

1. Old School Steel Road Frame - Good condition

cee

SimonAH wrote:

Oh Greg, you are so harsh. And so very wrong.

Fixed for 90% of the time, SS for when I have to tackle some really hilly runs out of the town so allowing me to hammer down hills at 40mph plus (pb 43 so far on Newport Hill)

Belt drive is way sexy. Light, silent, clean, unusual and unlike a chain doesn't stretch so EVEN LESS maintenance that you guys.

but as LIT suggested...Prof Clarkson konws a thing or two about this....and if you have to explain why its cool or indeed sexy....any cool or in fact sexy points are forfeit.

Greg T

SimonAH wrote:

Belt drive is way sexy. Light, silent, clean, unusual

Lights ON, noisy, dirty, very unusual = sexy.

What you describe is a quirky library.

FACT..

SimonAH

[/quote]

Lights ON, noisy, dirty, very unusual = sexy..[/quote]

Nope, that's just good sex you fool, you've been doing wrong all these years!

gtvlusso

SimonAH wrote:

Oh Greg, you are so harsh. And so very wrong.

Fixed for 90% of the time, SS for when I have to tackle some really hilly runs out of the town so allowing me to hammer down hills at 40mph plus (pb 43 so far on Newport Hill)

Belt drive is way sexy. Light, silent, clean, unusual and unlike a chain doesn't stretch so EVEN LESS maintenance that you guys.

SS is the younger brother of fixed, who never really amounted to anything - just hung about and got beaten up by fixies and gears.

The best thing about Newport: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aNfbX6uvA6s

Aside TeeJays...and the Velodrome.

SimonAH

Actually I agree on the fixie / SS side which is why I've gone to a lot of effort to convert the belt drive to fixed, the flipflop hub was the only way I could get the system to work (against all the advice from Trek by the way).

wgwarburton

Greg T wrote:

...We need a basic Food Chain to hang our modifiers off......
...perhaps we need a matrix....

Bike Type
Running Gear (fixed / SS / "normal" geared / shudder Hub etc etc)

For the purposes of this table there are only two categories: "fixed" and "broken", probably modifiers, rather than baseline indicators.

Pilot apparel
Hairyness (legs / beard)
Nonchalance
Trackstanding
etc etc

Bike type first.....

1. Old School Steel Road Frame - Good condition

Hmm... key indicators of the Coolness Coefficient of the trackstander:

Bike- tricky... needs to be rated by coolness, not performance. A carbon road bike may be hot, but it isn't cool... nor is a Brommie. There can't be anything cooler than old-school steel but after that I'm at a loss....

Technique- the distance the front wheel covers whilst rocking the bike is crucial.

Nonchalence- standing on the pedals is not cool. Using fewer hands is. Doing other things whilst T/standing (drinking, eating, flirting, applying lipsalve/makeup etc.) is cool, though using your mobile is iffy (it's not actually illegal on a bike... but will be perceived as daft... daft isn't cool...)

There should be bonus points available for advanced tehniques- riding backwards (double points fo those on broken bikes!), skid-stop to trackstand.

Clothing: Baggies, 501s etc good. Lycra, skinny jeans, dresses (especially on blokes) bad...

.. anyone else..?

Cheers,
W.

DCowling

WGWarburton wrote:

Greg T wrote:

...We need a basic Food Chain to hang our modifiers off......
...perhaps we need a matrix....

Bike Type
Running Gear (fixed / SS / "normal" geared / shudder Hub etc etc)

For the purposes of this table there are only two categories: "fixed" and "broken", probably modifiers, rather than baseline indicators.

Pilot apparel
Hairyness (legs / beard)
Nonchalance
Trackstanding
etc etc

Bike type first.....

1. Old School Steel Road Frame - Good condition

Hmm... key indicators of the Coolness Coefficient of the trackstander:

Bike- tricky... needs to be rated by coolness, not performance. A carbon road bike may be hot, but it isn't cool... nor is a Brommie. There can't be anything cooler than old-school steel but after that I'm at a loss....

Technique- the distance the front wheel covers whilst rocking the bike is crucial.

Nonchalence- standing on the pedals is not cool. Using fewer hands is. Doing other things whilst T/standing (drinking, eating, flirting, applying lipsalve/makeup etc.) is cool, though using your mobile is iffy (it's not actually illegal on a bike... but will be perceived as daft... daft isn't cool...)

There should be bonus points available for advanced tehniques- riding backwards (double points fo those on broken bikes!), skid-stop to trackstand.

Clothing: Baggies, 501s etc good. Lycra, skinny jeans, dresses (especially on blokes) bad...

.. anyone else..?


Cheers,
W.

what about centre of gravity handicap

rjsterry

Never have been cool.

No intention of starting now.

Will stick to my lycra and gears.

Don't let me stop you guys though.

Skid stop? Seriously?

On the clothing front, surely a proper tailored suit (tweed, 3-piece if poss') would be pretty damn cool for a trackstand, together with pipe and deerstalker (too far?).

cee

DCowling wrote:

what about centre of gravity handicap

crazy talk

unless you are really tall (6'6" and up) with a head the size of a small moon (Anthe/Saturn XLIX will do for comparison....)....there is no handicap for CoG.

Oh....and massive feet (adult size 14 and up) get a negative handicap, since they will have more weight low down.

cee

rjsterry wrote:

On the clothing front, surely a proper tailored suit (tweed, 3-piece if poss') would be pretty damn cool for a trackstand, together with pipe and deerstalker (too far?).

only if the pipe blows bubbles.

DCowling

cee wrote:

DCowling wrote:

what about centre of gravity handicap

crazy talk

unless you are really tall (6'6" and up) with a head the size of a small moon (Anthe/Saturn XLIX will do for comparison....)....there is no handicap for CoG.

Oh....and massive feet (adult size 14 and up) get a negative handicap, since they will have more weight low down.

sorry,

Sorry, :oops: what was I thinking :roll:
the foot print of the bikes are pretty much the same but the height and weight above varies drastically accross the range of trackstander so it must have a significant effect upon the CoG, as no matter how good a trackstander you are you cannot increase the base size it is all down to your sexual / coolness prowessnessness

DCowling

having said that I have never ridden a fixie nor tried a trackstand so it may be best to ignore what I say

most do!

it's probably for the best

itsbruce

Headhuunter wrote:

On the other hand I love being able to drop down a couple of gears and accelerate round people/out of situations or accelerate away from lights etc. You can't do that on a fixie.

Not having any problems in that department. I am only marginally slower away from the lights on the fixed Madison than I am on the Mixer. After just a few seconds, I'm faster on the fixie (and I'm faster than most of the people I meet at the lights earlier than that). My top speed is going to be higher on the geared bike, so me on the mixer would catch up again with me on the fixie, but that's not what you were talking about.

lost_in_thought

Greg T wrote:

SimonAH wrote:

How cool is flipflop belt drive fixie?

Flip flops. NOT cool. Fixed is cool - SS is not cool. SS is stupid geared.

KST would not care. However......

Vicki Pendleton would.... I suggest that the Burd Arbiter of Cool (BAC) in this space is VP. Impress her with your SS?

Belt drive. NOT Cool.

I'm afraid Simon You are not cool / sexy. You are almost hot but have made some basic (and in your choice of belt drive non approved) errors......

KST/the vast majority of other ladies would not care, but trackstanding, as long as done well (see my last post) is cool, even to the lay-lady.

However, its cool is mitigated by the fact that you're a man on a bike. Some women will find this sexy, others will not. I reckon there's about a 70/30 split in favour of 'not'.