When & Where Did it Change?
Comments
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rjsterry wrote:
Yes, I was thrown a bit by that comment. That sounds more like a cultural norm rather than some fundamental difference between the roles of mothers and fathers.
In my family my Dad could be a very physically imposing person. As i've grown up people have told me that both me and my brother act and have the same mannerisms as our Dad. We are polite, easy going friendly guys who get incredibly miserable when were are hungry. Similarly, my cousins have the same mannerisms as their Dad. Likewise I can see Ms DDD's mother in her.
If my dad was aggressive, shouty, physically aggressive and smacked me then chances are some of those mannerisms, traits and behaviour would transfer onto me.Food Chain number = 4
A true scalp is not only overtaking someone but leaving them stopped at a set of lights. As you, who have clearly beaten the lights, pummels nothing but the open air ahead. ~ 'DondaddyD'. Player of the Unspoken Game0 -
DonDaddyD wrote:rjsterry wrote:
Yes, I was thrown a bit by that comment. That sounds more like a cultural norm rather than some fundamental difference between the roles of mothers and fathers.
In my family my Dad could be a very physically imposing person. As i've grown up people have told me that both me and my brother act and have the same mannerisms as our Dad. We are polite, easy going friendly guys who get incredibly miserable when were are hungry. Similarly, my cousins have the same mannerisms as their Dad. Likewise I can see Ms DDD's mother in her.
If my dad was aggressive, shouty, physically aggressive and smacked me then chances are some of those mannerisms, traits and behaviour would transfer onto me.
Oh hell yes! You become more like your parents than you ever want to, good bits and bad bits, particularly the bad bits, even when you recognise the bad bits and try to avoid repeating them. Have you or Ms DDD ever used the "ugh, you're just like your mother/father" line?
What gets really scary is when you can see character traits pass from your grandparents to your parents and then to you.
I think my point was that one parent smacking, and the other not is probably as much to do with how they were each brought up, as with their different roles, which might be down to economic necessity as much as anything else.1985 Mercian King of Mercia - work in progress (Hah! Who am I kidding?)
Pinnacle Monzonite
Part of the anti-growth coalition0 -
Smacking wise - dad normally dished out if you'd been bad and weren't really that sorry about it either. When mum did it you knew you'd totally stepped over the line.
I think smacking within reason is fine.
Bizarrely my mum says I take after her dad and I have very few traits of either parents. I even scratch my nose same way as grampa but I never met him so how I learnt that...Le Cannon [98 Cannondale M400] [FCN: 8]
The Mad Monkey [2013 Hoy 003] [FCN: 4]0 -
Another freaky one is that you pick up physical traits as well, like the way you walk or stand. Try comparing some family photographs or movies, and you'll see what I mean.1985 Mercian King of Mercia - work in progress (Hah! Who am I kidding?)
Pinnacle Monzonite
Part of the anti-growth coalition0 -
MonkeyMonster wrote:Bizarrely my mum says I take after her dad and I have very few traits of either parents. I even scratch my nose same way as grampa but I never met him so how I learnt that...
My nephew who I looked after frequently until about the age of 2 but have only sporadically seen since (opposite ends of the world) apparently has all kinds of similar physical ticks to me (as commented on by friends and relations). Either he learnt these and retained them as a baby or there is some kind of wierd genetic thing going on! Or it's coincidence or people are seeing things that arent there...0 -
rjsterry wrote:Another freaky one is that you pick up physical traits as well, like the way you walk or stand. Try comparing some family photographs or movies, and you'll see what I mean.
My middle brother is his dad's son alright. Stance, stooping, big belly, fondness for wine...Le Cannon [98 Cannondale M400] [FCN: 8]
The Mad Monkey [2013 Hoy 003] [FCN: 4]0 -
Paulie W wrote:MonkeyMonster wrote:Bizarrely my mum says I take after her dad and I have very few traits of either parents. I even scratch my nose same way as grampa but I never met him so how I learnt that...
My nephew who I looked after frequently until about the age of 2 but have only sporadically seen since (opposite ends of the world) apparently has all kinds of similar physical ticks to me (as commented on by friends and relations). Either he learnt these and retained them as a baby or there is some kind of wierd genetic thing going on! Or it's coincidence or people are seeing things that arent there...
Formative years really are formative years.1985 Mercian King of Mercia - work in progress (Hah! Who am I kidding?)
Pinnacle Monzonite
Part of the anti-growth coalition0 -
rjsterry wrote:Another freaky one is that you pick up physical traits as well, like the way you walk or stand. Try comparing some family photographs or movies, and you'll see what I mean.
Yup. My daughter shares mannerisms with an older cousin she's barely met... like you say, it's a bit freaky...!
Cheers,
W.0 -
It's interesting the way we in this country treat anyone between the ages of 12-20 as being a separate race, of lesser value than an 'adult'.
No wonder they shut down and behave anti-socially.
And, for the record, why the hell should a child get up for an adult, unless that person is frail, pregnant, etc?
Mind you, am with those who've commented on the lack of personal responsibility and boundaries, but don't think this is that new.[/u]
It's just a hill. Get over it.0 -
SecretSam wrote:It's interesting the way we in this country treat anyone between the ages of 12-20 as being a separate race, of lesser value than an 'adult'.
No wonder they shut down and behave anti-socially.
And, for the record, why the hell should a child get up for an adult, unless that person is frail, pregnant, etc?
Mind you, am with those who've commented on the lack of personal responsibility and boundaries, but don't think this is that new.[/u]
No one is treating kids like a "separate race" but they're kids. They're not adults. There is a difference...Do not write below this line. Office use only.0 -
I also firmly believe DDD that all of what you say is totally fine...in principle...
if you taught parenting in a classroom, that is what you would teach...
as is the same with most walks of life though...doesn't really matter what they teach in a classrooom....how it works on the ground is a different matter entirely...Whenever I see an adult on a bicycle, I believe in the future of the human race.
H.G. Wells.0 -
cee wrote:I also firmly believe DDD that all of what you say is totally fine...in principle...
if you taught parenting in a classroom, that is what you would teach...
as is the same with most walks of life though...doesn't really matter what they teach in a classrooom....how it works on the ground is a different matter entirely...
I don't think its my place to teach someone how to be a parent. I do, however, think some need to be taught to better understand basic human behaviour.
If you lose your temper and shout at someone or 'clip them round the ear' they are going to be less responsive than if you sit down and talk to them.
Equally if you start to tell someone off in front of a group of people, or if a more than two people start telling someone off that person is likely to be less responsive or open up less than if the telling off was 1:1.Food Chain number = 4
A true scalp is not only overtaking someone but leaving them stopped at a set of lights. As you, who have clearly beaten the lights, pummels nothing but the open air ahead. ~ 'DondaddyD'. Player of the Unspoken Game0 -
DonDaddyD wrote:If a White Van Man spat in your face or Vicky Pendelton, which would be worse? Even if equal force was used would you rather be hit by David Haye or Victoria Beckham?
Finished with child abuse and moving on to sexism now? :roll: :roll: :roll:None of the above should be taken seriously, and certainly not personally.0 -
do you think teachers have enough time in the day to ask a child to step outside and discuss their actions??
as I say..in principle...you are right...but in real life....not so sure it works.
not diggin at you...just don't necessarily agree with everything you say!
Whenever I see an adult on a bicycle, I believe in the future of the human race.
H.G. Wells.0 -
daviesee wrote:DonDaddyD wrote:If a White Van Man spat in your face or Vicky Pendelton, which would be worse? Even if equal force was used would you rather be hit by David Haye or Victoria Beckham?
Finished with child abuse and moving on to sexism now? :roll: :roll: :roll:
What is this spitting fetish of DDD's all about? Just in case, that was a rhetorical question.1985 Mercian King of Mercia - work in progress (Hah! Who am I kidding?)
Pinnacle Monzonite
Part of the anti-growth coalition0 -
cee wrote:I also firmly believe DDD that all of what you say is totally fine...in principle...
if you taught parenting in a classroom, that is what you would teach...
as is the same with most walks of life though...doesn't really matter what they teach in a classrooom....how it works on the ground is a different matter entirely...
I don't think it's a different matter entirely, but practice is certainly a lot more messy than theory.
Also to come back on the teachers should teach thing: I remember a fair few bad teachers, but the ones who really stick in my mind are the minority of trouble makers who ruined the lessons for the rest of us. The teacher needs to maintain a certain level of discipline to be able to teach, and they can't take ten minutes out of the middle of a lesson to find out the deep-seated reasons why Stewie is throwing paperclips at Samantha.1985 Mercian King of Mercia - work in progress (Hah! Who am I kidding?)
Pinnacle Monzonite
Part of the anti-growth coalition0 -
DonDaddyD wrote:But my later point, and the overacrching one, was that if you bully someone they are likely to bully someone else. .....
You have now jumped from telling a child off to bullying them
Disciplining a child, reprimanding them forcefully or even raising your voice at them is a million miles away from bullying.
There is absolutely no connection between discipling someone and bullying themWant to know the Spen666 behind the posts?
Then read MY BLOG @ http://www.pebennett.com
Twittering @spen_6660 -
rjsterry wrote:Why Stewie is throwing paperclips at Samantha.
its one of three reasons...
his mum smacked his backside for stealing money from her purse.
he is just a brat.
he fancies her.
you choose.Whenever I see an adult on a bicycle, I believe in the future of the human race.
H.G. Wells.0 -
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Monkeypump wrote:
Yup, clear as day, although he obviously has difficulties showing his true feelings in case some of the other boys see through the macho facade. Deep down, he's a very sensitive chap who lies awake at night dreaming of starting a family with Samantha, but her Dad (DDD) would never allow it.1985 Mercian King of Mercia - work in progress (Hah! Who am I kidding?)
Pinnacle Monzonite
Part of the anti-growth coalition0 -
(If I had a daughter) I would be so strict about dating boys she'd only be allowed to be lesbian.Food Chain number = 4
A true scalp is not only overtaking someone but leaving them stopped at a set of lights. As you, who have clearly beaten the lights, pummels nothing but the open air ahead. ~ 'DondaddyD'. Player of the Unspoken Game0 -
Its is interesting to see how this thread has developed. A couple of observations on the same:
1. The thread seems to have developed along the lines that the OP was a criticism of CHILDREN for not giving up their seats.
This was not the intention. If there is a criticism it is of adults for not instilling their children or those in their care with manners and respect. Children can't be blamed for that which the adults have not taught them.
2. The most vociferous peoplke on here about "the right way" to bring up children seem to be people who have not brought up children themselvesWant to know the Spen666 behind the posts?
Then read MY BLOG @ http://www.pebennett.com
Twittering @spen_6660 -
Hasn't society been condemning the behaviour of their 'yoof' since time began ?
There has been a definite lowering of behaviour/manners (whatever you like to call it) in society as a whole.
I believe the media has a lot to answer for, it portrays the worst in people, that eventually becomes the norm.
I noticed the rot setting in when Thatcher took control, destroyed communities, when individuals were encouraged to place materialism above conscience, when council tenants became 'customers' .
The reasons for the fall in 'respect' are many, but I'm not surprised, when the state has little respect for it's subjects, why should anyone give a ****.
.Specialized Hardrock Pro/Trek FX 7.3 Hybrid/Specialized Enduro/Specialized Tri-Cross Sport
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spen666 wrote:1. The thread seems to have developed along the lines that the OP was a criticism of CHILDREN for not giving up their seats.
This was not the intention. If there is a criticism it is of adults for not instilling their children or those in their care with manners and respect. Children can't be blamed for that which the adults have not taught them.
I think that what people consider to be manners change. Personally if someone is more in need of a seat (infirm, exhausted, elderly, ill/tired looking, really overweight) I will give them my seat. Different families will teach different values. There doesn't seem to be quite the same "standard issue" values as there maybe used to be.0
