Top Tips

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  • LazyBoycp
    LazyBoycp Posts: 320
    Stewie Griffin wrote:
    rileymi1 wrote:
    Save money on expensive binoculars by standing closer to the object you wish to look at.

    Ohh I havent heard that one since the last page, 1st post as well, school boy error :roll: :lol::wink:

    Edit, hold on, you joined when?

    Save time thinking up witty top tips by just stealing other peoples.
  • ratsbeyfus
    ratsbeyfus Posts: 2,841
    Save standing close to an object you wish to look at by spending money on expensive binoculars.

    Oh, hang on a minute...

    I had one of them red bikes but I don't any more. Sad face.

    @ratsbey
  • markyboy2005
    markyboy2005 Posts: 465
    Save money on Christmas gifts......place a strip of sellotape on your dogs back and the rip it off, voila a scarf for Gran!
  • crumbschief
    crumbschief Posts: 3,399
    Don't nudge gran when she's shaving.
  • Aggieboy
    Aggieboy Posts: 3,996
    lost_in_thought if you do manage to pull someone in 'Cakestop', don't worry about buying a new dress for the first date. They're only interested in seeing you naked anyway. :lol:
    "There's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world, t'would be a pity to damage yours."
  • andy162
    andy162 Posts: 634
    If you do get trapped in your flat. Try NOT to get trapped in your flat.

    Vic Reeves c. 1993.
  • crumbschief
    crumbschief Posts: 3,399
    Vote Gordon Freeman in the next General Election,best chance for sure.
  • Splottboy
    Splottboy Posts: 3,693
    Cut out the pictures of dog bones on the box, so when they run out you've got a tasty chew for Fido, and full of fibre!
  • gumball3000
    gumball3000 Posts: 14
    80's TV Villains. If you capture the A Team, do not lock them in a shed full of tools that could be used to make a weapon....

    Gotta Love Viz!
  • carrock
    carrock Posts: 1,103
    TOURETTES sufferers with an interest in Victoriana. Simply replace shouting 'feck', 'arse' and 'wanker' with 'poppycock', 'fiddlesticks' and 'balderdash' to recreate an authentic Victorian experience. :D
  • attica
    attica Posts: 2,362
    Minimise the risk of breaking your arm by avoiding swans wherever possible
    "Impressive break"

    "Thanks...

    ...I can taste blood"
  • pottssteve
    pottssteve Posts: 4,069
    Save money on your heating bills - simply move to Dubai

    Ladies, don't waste money on expensive plastic surgery. To recreate the Angelina Jolie look simply ask a friend to punch you in the mouth.

    Dog owners, tired of cleaning unpleasant faeces from your back garden? Simply stop feeding your dog and the problem will soon go away.
    Head Hands Heart Lungs Legs
  • ExeterSimon
    ExeterSimon Posts: 830
    DEAF PEOPLE. Wearing oven gloves outdoors is an ideal way to stop strangers from eavesdropping on your conversation.

    SWAP YOUR wife's factor 35 sunblock for Brylcreem on the first day of your foreign holiday. Then when she's confined to the hotel bed with sunstroke, nip out and shag loads of birds from Manchester.

    BOOKSHOP owners. Annoy Christians by putting the Bible in the 'Fiction' section of your shop where, joking aside, it actually belongs.

    You've gotta love Viz.
    Whyte 905 (2009)
    Trek 1.5 (2009)
    Specialized Stumpjumper FSR Comp (2007)
  • shockedsoshocked
    shockedsoshocked Posts: 4,021
    ExeterSimon wrote:

    SWAP YOUR wife's factor 35 sunblock for Brylcreem on the first day of your foreign holiday. Then when she's confined to the hotel bed with sunstroke, nip out and shag loads of birds from Manchester.

    You've gotta love Viz.

    Sometimes one of the tips comes up like this one, and makes me suspect someone has actually done just that.
    "A cyclist has nothing to lose but his chain"

    PTP Runner Up 2015
  • garrynolan
    garrynolan Posts: 560
    Don't p1ss into the wind...

    Don't eat yellow snow...
    Visit Ireland - all of it! Cycle in Dublin and know fear!!
    exercise.png
  • nolf
    nolf Posts: 1,287
    Don't leave essays until the last minute.
    "I hold it true, what'er befall;
    I feel it, when I sorrow most;
    'Tis better to have loved and lost;
    Than never to have loved at all."

    Alfred Tennyson
  • DaSy
    DaSy Posts: 599
    Homeowners, don't waste money on an expensive gravel drive, simply selotape rice krispies to your tyres..
    Complicating matters since 1965

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