Chat-up lines

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  • berylburton
    berylburton Posts: 13
    colintrav wrote:
    berylburton wrote:
    What is the best chat-up line you have given or received when cycling?


    Judging by your name your a lady or you a bloke pretending to be a lady ???


    Anyways ... If you are a lady and your out on your bike and it's just you and him with no body else around what would be your first assumption .. on a cycle trail or on a Country road

    Most ladies will presume the bloke has a hidden agenda ... Now if it was a lass hittin on you then thats a different ball game alltogether

    It's a known fact that most women feel more nervous when they see any bloke cycling / walking behind /coming towards them ,

    I am indeed a lady. Thanks for noticing.

    Best chat-up line I have received: "That's never your real bike. (Cos mine is rubbish, but I was going fast). You should get a real bike and start racing."

    Best chat-up lines I give - inadvertantly - "nice bike". Blokes just lurve this comment, confusing the fact that I am commenting on their cycle not their manly body. Tho, sometimes nice bike and nice bloke are seen together.
  • itboffin
    itboffin Posts: 20,064
    What?

    Nice bloke! what are you a bird or something? :roll:

    Nice bloke, FFS what's next do you shave your legs? sic! Greg T where are you now?
    Rule #5 // Harden The Feck Up.
    Rule #9 // If you are out riding in bad weather, it means you are a badass. Period.
    Rule #12 // The correct number of bikes to own is n+1.
    Rule #42 // A bike race shall never be preceded with a swim and/or followed by a run.
  • bikey2009
    bikey2009 Posts: 121
    "I have a hole can you fill it" :shock:

    They were a couple of Danish tourists (female), on the GUC outside Watford. Once I took a few seconds to realise what they really needed help with, I took a few deep breaths to compose myself, got my tool kit out and just got on with it :wink:
  • colintrav
    colintrav Posts: 1,074
    berylburton wrote:
    colintrav wrote:
    berylburton wrote:
    What is the best chat-up line you have given or received when cycling?


    Judging by your name your a lady or you a bloke pretending to be a lady ???


    Anyways ... If you are a lady and your out on your bike and it's just you and him with no body else around what would be your first assumption .. on a cycle trail or on a Country road

    Most ladies will presume the bloke has a hidden agenda ... Now if it was a lass hittin on you then thats a different ball game alltogether

    It's a known fact that most women feel more nervous when they see any bloke cycling / walking behind /coming towards them ,

    I am indeed a lady. Thanks for noticing.

    Best chat-up line I have received: "That's never your real bike. (Cos mine is rubbish, but I was going fast). You should get a real bike and start racing."

    Best chat-up lines I give - inadvertantly - "nice bike". Blokes just lurve this comment, confusing the fact that I am commenting on their cycle not their manly body. Tho, sometimes nice bike and nice bloke are seen together.


    If you say so ....Name 5 Items a lady never leaves home without ...
  • bradford
    bradford Posts: 195
    itboffin wrote:
    What?

    Nice bloke! what are you a bird or something? :roll:

    Nice bloke, FFS what's next do you shave your legs? sic! Greg T where are you now?

    Whoa! Has anyone said you look like Christian from Eastenders! :mrgreen:
  • shouldbeinbed
    shouldbeinbed Posts: 2,660
    You look like Stan out the Housemartins but I like the other one that does the singing better.


    I once got goosed in Asda by a little old dear in my lycra days.
  • antfly
    antfly Posts: 3,276
    I don`t like to blow my own trumpet but I was stopped at some lights when I heard a schoolgirl go "Oh my gawd" and when I looked around her friend was like "shush" .They probably don`t realise cycling shorts are padded. I have also had "nice arse" but they probably would have said that if I had the arse of a baboon.
    Smarter than the average bear.
  • skyd0g
    skyd0g Posts: 2,540
    biondino wrote:
    *young lady sees me
    *young lady's eyes move downards
    *young lady's mouth drops open

    I enjoyed that :)

    She obviously noticed that you were wearing your Rapha socks?
    102-05.jpg
    Cycling weakly
  • Bugly
    Bugly Posts: 520
    Always Tyred wrote:
    lost_in_thought wrote:
    Always Tyred wrote:
    lost_in_thought wrote:
    Oh and two young blokes in a peugeot who went for 'is your hair real?'
    This may not have been a chat up line.

    For example, I bet Elton John gets asked that a lot.

    :lol::lol:

    No, I bet he doesn't, everyone knows his isn't real.
    Wait, let me get this straight - Elton John's hair isn't real?

    What about Bruce Willis?

    Bruce Willis nah he's not real either
  • Kieran_Burns
    Kieran_Burns Posts: 9,757
    whyamihere wrote:
    You should hear some of the filth prawny comes out with when we ride together. Definitely trumps anything posted so far. ;)

    Note: May be a lie.

    When you say "ride" ........
    Chunky Cyclists need your love too! :-)
    2009 Specialized Tricross Sport
    2011 Trek Madone 4.5
    2012 Felt F65X
    Proud CX Pervert and quiet roadie. 12 mile commuter
  • TheBrogueadier
    TheBrogueadier Posts: 89
    "Well... You're a fit young man aren't you."

    Said in the same kind of oily manner you'd expect someone to say "Do you want to see a puppy?"

    I half expected to look at the speaker and find her rubbing her palms dry on the front of her trousers.

    It was made worse by the fact the woman who'd said this was fairly obviously a stranger to the concepts of healthy eating and regular exercise, and had three of her children with her. She also seemed to fail to grasp that it's polite to talk to someone's face, not their genitals.
    FCN: 5
  • artaxerxes
    artaxerxes Posts: 612
    Monday evening, a woman in a passenger seat of a BMW on the A200 shouted "Farrkin Cyclists!"

    Although there were 5 of us in single file so I think it was a more general comment on her frustrations with cyclists RLJing and ignoring the highway code. Either that or she's a silly bint...
  • Bassjunkieuk
    Bassjunkieuk Posts: 4,232
    After a nice fast ride from work into the town centre near where I lived (about 13 miles) I'd looked up my bike and was heading for the photo store. As it was a rather warm day and I had my light coloured, rather thin 3/4 trousers on over my cycle shorts on I'd completely forgotten.....

    "Ergh, it looks like you pi$$ed yourself"

    Was the comment from one young school girl as I walked off ahead :oops:

    Nothing else springs to mind.....

    @LiT - Regarding that kicking bloke, I'd be a bit worried about him. I mean there are some huge perverts out there :lol:
    Who's the daddy?
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  • colintrav
    colintrav Posts: 1,074
    No just admit you wore them to get the reaction from the schoolies


    Did you have a bag of penny sweets as well :P
  • Clever Pun
    Clever Pun Posts: 6,778
    "I've seen your legs on the internet" :lol:

    Two girls pulled up alongside me in a jeep and offered me some dried banana once
    Purveyor of sonic doom

    Very Hairy Roadie - FCN 4
    Fixed Pista- FCN 5
    Beared Bromptonite - FCN 14
  • antfly
    antfly Posts: 3,276
    There`s a joke there somewhere....
    Smarter than the average bear.
  • Clever Pun
    Clever Pun Posts: 6,778
    itboffin wrote:
    biondino wrote:
    *young lady sees me
    *young lady's eyes move downards
    *young lady's mouth drops open

    I enjoyed that :)

    has DDD stolen your login details? :)

    I just reckon he's missed the bit where the lady in question blows chunks
    Purveyor of sonic doom

    Very Hairy Roadie - FCN 4
    Fixed Pista- FCN 5
    Beared Bromptonite - FCN 14
  • the_village_idiot
    the_village_idiot Posts: 150
    ok i have read 3 pages and the only "chat up lines" so far have been:

    female cyclists being perved at

    people taking the p!ss out of the cyclist

    an old women leering at some guys crotch
  • berylburton
    berylburton Posts: 13
    the_village_idiot wrote:
    ok i have read 3 pages and the only "chat up lines" so far have been:

    female cyclists being perved at

    people taking the p!ss out of the cyclist

    an old women leering at some guys crotch


    This morning a cyclist asked if I had a spanner.
    Which category does that fall into?

    Or maybe, he just needed a spanner ...
  • lost_in_thought
    lost_in_thought Posts: 10,563
    the_village_idiot wrote:
    ok i have read 3 pages and the only "chat up lines" so far have been:

    female cyclists being perved at

    And when are chat-up lines NOT a result of women being perved at? Maybe you're doing it wrong... :P

    @BJUK I hadn't thought of that... maybe he got down the road and accosted a slower-moving lady cyclist 'I WOULD like you to kick me....' :lol:
    FCN 7/1
    Viner Maxima, Tifosi CK7, Giant Bowery, Old commuter.
  • Headhuunter
    Headhuunter Posts: 6,494
    I got asked if I fancied a shag as I walked with my bike through Soho by a drunk guy (just before Christmas actually). I declined, had a few things to do.... As I walked off he said somethnig about my ass being look great in my cycling shorts...
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