DDD - Friday fun: Zombie attack
DonDaddyD
Posts: 12,689
Ok, so a Zombie outbreak happens in the UK, do you think you can outride them on a bike?
Also what would you do to survive?
Me? Assuming I was in my flat I would cut a whole in the stairs as Zombies can't climb.
Also if you 'do' a Zombie would you catch it?
Also what would you do to survive?
Me? Assuming I was in my flat I would cut a whole in the stairs as Zombies can't climb.
Also if you 'do' a Zombie would you catch it?
Food Chain number = 4
A true scalp is not only overtaking someone but leaving them stopped at a set of lights. As you, who have clearly beaten the lights, pummels nothing but the open air ahead. ~ 'DondaddyD'. Player of the Unspoken Game
A true scalp is not only overtaking someone but leaving them stopped at a set of lights. As you, who have clearly beaten the lights, pummels nothing but the open air ahead. ~ 'DondaddyD'. Player of the Unspoken Game
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DDD you need the read the Ultimate Zombie Survival Guide, my wife got it me for my birthday it's a good read.
If there are zombies outside your house board the windows fill the bath with water and destroy the staircase. Always keep a supply of ammo and apparently bikes are the best methd of transport but you need to get out of the city.
Saracen Tenet 3 - 2015 - Dead - Replaced with a Hack Frame
Voodoo Bizango - 2014 - Dead - Hit by a car
Vitus Sentier VRS - 20170 -
Go to the countryside, on top of a big hill with complete open ground around to see anything approaching. Crossbows, for reusable ammo, are useful but nothing like high caliber weapons to take them out.
Several bikes, and several more set up at drop points in case of break down with required escape routes.
Fire moats perhaps set up in case of mass invasion. Well on site to get own water supplies and garden area for own food supplies.
And I don't want to know about the final part, sounds dodgy. Hehe"This area left purposefully blank"
Sign hung on my head everyday till noon.
FCN: 11 (apparently)0 -
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lost_in_thought wrote:Why fill the bath with water?
Water supply, if the water stops working.
You'd have to boil it though for it to be safe though.Food Chain number = 4
A true scalp is not only overtaking someone but leaving them stopped at a set of lights. As you, who have clearly beaten the lights, pummels nothing but the open air ahead. ~ 'DondaddyD'. Player of the Unspoken Game0 -
I'm glad someone asked thatlost_in_thought wrote:Why fill the bath with water?0 -
What about food? If you go upstairs and destroy the stairs, how do you get out for supplies?Do not write below this line. Office use only.0
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first things first
Are they shambling or running zombies - THAT controls what you can do and chances of survival
Le Cannon [98 Cannondale M400] [FCN: 8]
The Mad Monkey [2013 Hoy 003] [FCN: 4]0 -
Hope it snows.
I haven't seen a single postie, binman or any other member of the shambling undead since the snow started.
:twisted:Misguided Idealist0 -
1. Find tank.
2. Find a petrol tanker.
3. Find a moated castle.
4. Tow 2 to 3 using 1.
5. Empty contents of 2 into moat of 3.
6. Go shopping for supplies and weapons in 1. And matches.
7. Return home to castle.
8. Hole up in castle.
9. Be ready to drop lit match into moat at moment's notice.
Easy.
NEXT!0 -
MonkeyMonster wrote:first things first
Are they shambling or running zombies - THAT controls what you can do and chances of survival
Running zombies are made up by the media , the undead can't run, it's all in the book.
The upstairs thing is in a seige situation, you wouldn't want to leave the house, although it's been a while since I read it it might have said keep ladders upstairs so you can get out via windows if the coast is clear.Saracen Tenet 3 - 2015 - Dead - Replaced with a Hack Frame
Voodoo Bizango - 2014 - Dead - Hit by a car
Vitus Sentier VRS - 20170 -
Are they shambling or running zombies - THAT controls what you can do and chances of survival
running zombies don't exist. FACT.0 -
You can't trust everything you read But given if you do have running zombies your chances for overall survival is very very low we can go with this is the shuffling sort.
Sort the house and security then go for the gun shops for the ubiquitous shotgun - your friend indeed.Le Cannon [98 Cannondale M400] [FCN: 8]
The Mad Monkey [2013 Hoy 003] [FCN: 4]0 -
prawny wrote:If there are zombies outside your house board the windows fill the bath with water and destroy the staircase.
This could of course be thwarted.......http://www.ledomestiquetours.co.uk
Le Domestique Tours - Bespoke cycling experiences with unrivalled supported riding, knowledge and expertise.
Ciocc Extro - FCN 10 -
DonDaddyD wrote:Ok, so a Zombie outbreak happens in the UK, do you think you can outride them on a bike?
Also what would you do to survive?
Me? Assuming I was in my flat I would cut a whole in the stairs as Zombies can't climb.
Also if you 'do' a Zombie would you catch it?
What is they are the "cycling iPod Zombies" from the Daily Mail.
You couldn't out cycle them, they are on a bike too.
If you keep quiet and do not move onto the pavement suddenly, they won't notice you. You could also manage to evade them by crossing at traffic lights when there is a red man on. Other places to avoid are:
Charity Shops
Organic Cafe's
Vegan Shops
Herb Gardens
Local Co-operatives
Green Peace Offices
Also do not wear your Seal Skin gloves, or have a Mink saddle, they will smell that at 100's of yards. If they get too close, just thow a handful of chickpeas at them and they will be very busy for a while....."Encyclopaedia is a fetish for very small bicycles"0 -
Wallace1492 wrote:What is they are the "cycling iPod Zombies" from the Daily Mail.
Typesetting brought to you by The Guardian.0 -
Amateurs talk tactics - professionals talk logistics.
I watched the remake of the Day of the Triffids the other week and the hero had his admin plan down to pat - he survived.
The key is securing vulnerable and very hot totty early doors - when the Zombies are stumblin and you are unloading the heavy weaponry she needs to see you in action.
In the Triffids case it was Joely Richardson. This is obviously a stretch goal but you need to have market defined.
Ince you have secured your adoring burd ammo carrier and Zombie approach screaming alarm you need to secure teh following in order of priority
1. Collateral Damage Easy mark
Someone is going to go down screaming as they have their head ripped off and brains used as soup by the undead. Unless you collect a likeable sub character on the way - it may well be you. Even worse it could be Joely and then you'll be struggling - all of the other survivalists will have copped off and you'll be left with the mingers. Nothing worse than being trapped in a shopping mall with a hippopig. No reason to go on see?
2. Weapons
Weapons - big shouty weapons. Weaponry suddenly becomes very available "the day after". As head shots are required I'd avoid short barreled weapons as you'll not hit feck all with them. Shotguns are your friend - or if you apply the marksmanship principles correctly - a rifle for longer distance work. be aware that Joely is going to be the bomb donkey so go easy on the automatic fire.
Once you have secured Joely and the weapons I lose interest a bit
Big country house, build a barrier of low steps, secure a land rover, pintle mount a machine gun. etc etc etc.Fixed gear for wet weather / hairy roadie for posing in the sun.
What would Thora Hurd do?0 -
DonDaddyD wrote:Ok, so a Zombie outbreak happens in the UK, do you think you can outride them on a bike?
I think it is happening already - have you seen the thead Yokels Unite!!"Encyclopaedia is a fetish for very small bicycles"0 -
Greg T wrote:Amateurs talk tactics - professionals talk logistics.
I watched the remake of the Day of the Triffids the other week and the hero had his admin plan down to pat - he survived.
The key is securing vulnerable and very hot totty early doors - when the Zombies are stumblin and you are unloading the heavy weaponry she needs to see you in action.
In the Triffids case it was Joely Richardson. This is obviously a stretch goal but you need to have market defined.
Ince you have secured your adoring burd ammo carrier and Zombie approach screaming alarm you need to secure teh following in order of priority
1. Collateral Damage Easy mark
Someone is going to go down screaming as they have their head ripped off and brains used as soup by the undead. Unless you collect a likeable sub character on the way - it may well be you. Even worse it could be Joely and then you'll be struggling - all of the other survivalists will have copped off and you'll be left with the mingers. Nothing worse than being trapped in a shopping mall with a hippopig. No reason to go on see?
2. Weapons
Weapons - big shouty weapons. Weaponry suddenly becomes very available "the day after". As head shots are required I'd avoid short barreled weapons as you'll not hit feck all with them. Shotguns are your friend - or if you apply the marksmanship principles correctly - a rifle for longer distance work. be aware that Joely is going to be the bomb donkey so go easy on the automatic fire.
Once you have secured Joely and the weapons I lose interest a bit
Big country house, build a barrier of low steps, secure a land rover, pintle mount a machine gun. etc etc etc.
You forgot a Ron Burgundy kissing-of-the-guns moment before you pitch into battle.0 -
Greg66 wrote:Greg T wrote:Amateurs talk tactics - professionals talk logistics.
I watched the remake of the Day of the Triffids the other week and the hero had his admin plan down to pat - he survived.
The key is securing vulnerable and very hot totty early doors - when the Zombies are stumblin and you are unloading the heavy weaponry she needs to see you in action.
In the Triffids case it was Joely Richardson. This is obviously a stretch goal but you need to have market defined.
Ince you have secured your adoring burd ammo carrier and Zombie approach screaming alarm you need to secure teh following in order of priority
1. Collateral Damage Easy mark
Someone is going to go down screaming as they have their head ripped off and brains used as soup by the undead. Unless you collect a likeable sub character on the way - it may well be you. Even worse it could be Joely and then you'll be struggling - all of the other survivalists will have copped off and you'll be left with the mingers. Nothing worse than being trapped in a shopping mall with a hippopig. No reason to go on see?
2. Weapons
Weapons - big shouty weapons. Weaponry suddenly becomes very available "the day after". As head shots are required I'd avoid short barreled weapons as you'll not hit feck all with them. Shotguns are your friend - or if you apply the marksmanship principles correctly - a rifle for longer distance work. be aware that Joely is going to be the bomb donkey so go easy on the automatic fire.
Once you have secured Joely and the weapons I lose interest a bit
Big country house, build a barrier of low steps, secure a land rover, pintle mount a machine gun. etc etc etc.
You forgot a Ron Burgundy kissing-of-the-guns moment before you pitch into battle.
Of course, by guns, you don't mean guns, you mean guns. I think the correct terminology is
-I got you a present
-*quizzical look from lady*
-Two tickets to the gun show...0 -
Zombies don't need to outrun you - they slowly slowly build up in numbers so that eventually you will not be able to cycle down any street without many thousand of zombie obstacles being in your way.
your best bet is to find somewhere to hold up for a few months and hope they all start dying off.
Or get yourself a large amroured vehicle / boat / helicopter and fly/ sail out to a small uninhabitated island / Alaska / or keep moving.
Or - final option - band together with thousands of other surviviors and hope that your sheer numbers will protect you and enable to to defeat the zombies.
BTW - zombies get more clever over time, while people get more stupid. Zombies will always win.0 -
Who takes a bike to a Zombie fight?
Now I know that we all like bikes right - I get it. That does not make them an ideal mode of transport when the gates of Hell have opened and the recently deceased are stumbling down the fresh foods aisles at tescos looking for people.
In this situation you need heavy machinery - something big and noisy - preferably without a lock on the door and prone to breakdown.
You get the other guy to drive this one way down the road - attracting the zombie plague to him - it breaks down - cue screaming / feeding blood all over the pavement stuff.
You and Joely jump in the landy and head off for some "reloading".
If there is one thing you have to have in the face of the undead is plenty of expendable people around to take the horrendous death instead of you.Fixed gear for wet weather / hairy roadie for posing in the sun.
What would Thora Hurd do?0 -
Greg T wrote:1. Collateral Damage Easy mark
Someone is going to go down screaming as they have their head ripped off and brains used as soup by the undead.
Spot on. I can always recall watching Star Trek, when ever they beamed down onto a new planet, (which always miraculously had breathable atmosphere) there was the usual party of Kirk, Spock, Dr McCoy and some unknown grunt you had never seen before. The bets were then on to see how long the grunt would last before he was vapourised/eaten/turned to stone/burned to nothing/ or some equally unpleasant, yet non messy end. It all hapened within 3 Vulcan seconds."Encyclopaedia is a fetish for very small bicycles"0 -
Wallace1492 wrote:Greg T wrote:1. Collateral Damage Easy mark
Someone is going to go down screaming as they have their head ripped off and brains used as soup by the undead.
Spot on. I can always recall watching Star Trek, when ever they beamed down onto a new planet, (which always miraculously had breathable atmosphere) there was the usual party of Kirk, Spock, Dr McCoy and some unknown grunt you had never seen before. The bets were then on to see how long the grunt would last before he was vapourised/eaten/turned to stone/burned to nothing/ or some equally unpleasant, yet non messy end. It all hapened within 3 Vulcan seconds.
There's an Eddie Izzard routine about this - the expendable crew member was always called "Stevens" apparently - and wore a red shirt.
Izzard had the guy looking at who he was beaming down with to realise he was about to die. 0 -
Excellent take on this in Galaxyquest.Porgy wrote:Wallace1492 wrote:Greg T wrote:1. Collateral Damage Easy mark
Someone is going to go down screaming as they have their head ripped off and brains used as soup by the undead.
Spot on. I can always recall watching Star Trek, when ever they beamed down onto a new planet, (which always miraculously had breathable atmosphere) there was the usual party of Kirk, Spock, Dr McCoy and some unknown grunt you had never seen before. The bets were then on to see how long the grunt would last before he was vapourised/eaten/turned to stone/burned to nothing/ or some equally unpleasant, yet non messy end. It all hapened within 3 Vulcan seconds.
There's an Eddie Izzard routine about this - the expendable crew member was always called "Stevens" apparently - and wore a red shirt.
Izzard had the guy looking at who he was beaming down with to realise he was about to die.0 -
When 18 months ago my organisation was reviewing its business contingency plans one of the scenarios suggested to be considered was a zombie attack.DonDaddyD wrote:Ok, so a Zombie outbreak happens in the UK, do you think you can outride them on a bike?
Also what would you do to survive?
Me? Assuming I was in my flat I would cut a whole in the stairs as Zombies can't climb.
Also if you 'do' a Zombie would you catch it?
:roll:0 -
some of our depots have emergency plans for what to do if a jumbo jet crash lands on them. 0
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Porgy wrote:some of our depots have emergency plans for what to do if a jumbo jet crash lands on them.
Pull yourself together after being vapourised?"Encyclopaedia is a fetish for very small bicycles"0 -
Create a conspiracy theory on how a plane didn't crash and the CIA did it?
Of course it could be full of Zombies - how would they climb the stairs though?Fixed gear for wet weather / hairy roadie for posing in the sun.
What would Thora Hurd do?0
