advice on anti cyclist comment from work mate

AndyManc

chuckcork wrote:

Andy, not in a Union, the one I queried as to whether they would assist if I became a member told me no as it was an existing problem, at which point I could only comment that there wasn't much point in joining them was there?



I was also in a "probationary" period, !

I support the unions in that stance, it's to prevent those workers that find themselves in difficulty joining a union, getting thousands of pounds of legal aid then quitting the union once the case has run it's course.

As far as I can remember (the law may has since changed) the first 2 yrs of employment you have restricted rights and employers have an easier time of getting rid of employees that dont tow the line.

I would never think of working without union membership, when the s*** hits the fan they can be very useful.

Here's an extract of an e-mail I received from my union , basically it's a call to arms



“Saturday’s conference comes at a crucial time for working people in this country. The gap between rich and poor has never been greater, the BNP are on the streets and on the TV spreading their poison and seeking to exploit the political vacuum and yet the three main parties are all spouting the same pro-bosses mantra of public spending cuts and privatisation.

“We have seen from the transport sector, the firefighters, the postal workers, bin workers, BA and the construction industry that the working class is prepared to fight. People up and down the country are angry that they are being told to pay the price for the recession while the speculators who created it are bailed out to the tune of tens of billions and are gearing up for a bumper round of Christmas bonuses at our expense.

“Millions of working class people have been disenfranchised by the political establishment. Our aim is to give them a voice.”



.

Flasheart

georgee wrote:

If you work in an office:

Shoe polish on the earpiece of his phone
Empty a pack of raw prawns in the rear of his desk drawers
Advertise puppies for sale on gum tree with his mobile phone number, spend an evening placing over 20 suspiciously cheap popular items (inc. a rover 75, not that it’s popular)
Go to smiths, collect as many of the send us your details rubbish cards out of the middle of magazines and fill them out for him.
Buy a butt plug and superglue it to the centre of his desk
Selotape the bottom of his mouse or receiver of his phone
Prize the keys of his keyboard with the end of a spoon then rearrange them in the wrong place
Post his name and phone on here so we can help
Get hold of an application (paper form) for the bnp, apply by post with cash (£15 I think) then when the next inevitable leak of members appear, forward the list around to others pointing this out.
Reply to all snide comments about his wife being fat (even if she isn’t)

Just a few suggestions

I like your way of thinking

wgwarburton

georgee wrote:

If you work in an office:

Shoe polish on the earpiece of his phone
Empty a pack of raw prawns in the rear of his desk drawers
Advertise puppies for sale on gum tree with his mobile phone number, spend an evening placing over 20 suspiciously cheap popular items (inc. a rover 75, not that it’s popular)
Go to smiths, collect as many of the send us your details rubbish cards out of the middle of magazines and fill them out for him.
Buy a butt plug and superglue it to the centre of his desk
Selotape the bottom of his mouse or receiver of his phone
Prize the keys of his keyboard with the end of a spoon then rearrange them in the wrong place
Post his name and phone on here so we can help
Get hold of an application (paper form) for the bnp, apply by post with cash (£15 I think) then when the next inevitable leak of members appear, forward the list around to others pointing this out.
Reply to all snide comments about his wife being fat (even if she isn’t)

Just a few suggestions

Remind me never to p*** you off....

Cheers,
W.

highwaymunky

Just a hyperthetical question

but would it really be so bad to beat the snot out of him (whilst in your cycling tights and tight cycling top) Like he's ever going so say anything after being handed his own ass by a guy in tights.... :shock:

...... just a thought

mark1964

If he tries anything with his car, it’s aggressive and dangerous driving and he can be prosecuted. I would say something to him like:

I don’t know what I’ve done to upset you so much but if you try anything out on the road it’s an offence and you will be prosecuted.

Go and see your line manager in confidence and ask them to monitor the situation. Hopefully, they’ll catch him at it. Get your work colleagues to witness this bullying.
Frankly, sounds like this idiot is more full of hot air than anything else. One thing you must do is never rise to his comments. Bullies love to do this as they get a kick out of winding you up. It grants them power – you must deny him this. I know it’s hard, but remain calm and try some witty responses.

In my old firm, I had to put up with a young guy who, since I’m gay, always used to make a point of saying that I should keep away from him (as if I fancied the little yob!!). After a few days of it, I found myself in the office with everyone else around and he made the same comments. I remembered a witty line from a movie (oddly enough, a Star Trek film). So in front of the entire office, I came back at him with:

“I would never dream of taking advantage of a sexually immature species like yourself”

It got a laugh from the whole room and he went red!. Never wound me up after that. Another time, some joker used to pi** me off with his practical jokes (like letting my bike tyres down and so on) so I made a fake car number plate –1 IDIOT- and fixed it to his front plate as he always got in his car from the rear. He drove all the way home, about ten miles, wondering why other drivers were beeping him.

For witty responses, study some Oscar Wilde – he was master of them and lived in a time much harder than now. What I’d do to this pillock is when he’s out of the office, is use his computer terminal (log on as him) to subscribe him to as many hardcore porn sites as you can find. Many firms email is routed through the management so they can monitor it. If they see ‘his’ emails about porn, boy – he should be in trouble!. Better still, post his email here and we’ll subscribe him to so many porn and junk mail sites his inbox will be full for weeks. Or we could just email him direct – he might back off when several hundred emails shower down on him and he realises that others know him to be a dick-for-brains.

Inspired by Only Fools & Horses – if he leaves his mobile phone unattended on his desk, get a work friend to distract him and use his mobile to call the speaking clock in the USA and leave it going.

But above all, remember that you are better than him!.

RSV_Ecosse

To the OP - If matey boy ever tries ripping the pish out of you and your Cree's there's an easy reply.

Just say "Yeah......but hang on a minute....".

Then hold one of the Cree's up against his left ear and shine it towards the other side of his bonce. Then simply mutter "Hmmm, just as I suspected - light straight through and absolutely feck all in there".

This procedure is best carried out in front of at least 3 other work mates but preferably in front of a whole office if possible.

mark1964

Another funny routine to try:

Hold up something like a calculator or mobile phone, act like Spock from ST and 'scan' his head while saying in your best Spock voice:

"Captain, I'm getting no life form readings" or " There are no signs of intelligent life here" etc.

iPad

You could try this