James Martin- Twunt

disgruntledgoat
disgruntledgoat Posts: 8,957
edited September 2009 in The bottom bracket
Read it and roll your eyes at the pathetic Clarkson wannabe.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/home/moslive/article-1211917/JAMES-MARTIN-The-Tesla-Roadster-electric-supercar-thats-fast-Ferrari.html
"In many ways, my story was that of a raging, Christ-like figure who hauled himself off the cross, looked up at the Romans with blood in his eyes and said 'My turn, sock cookers'"

@gietvangent
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Comments

  • thatkidduffy
    thatkidduffy Posts: 38
    Got quite a few peoples backs up has this.

    Met him once. Arrogant Tw@t.
  • heathy_76
    heathy_76 Posts: 213
    I think the Daily Mail has quite a lot of history for this sort of thing. I've stumbled on this link....

    http://www.mailwatch.co.uk/

    on Bike radar a while ago. Quite interesting IMO.
    Pitch Pro - http://heathy.pinkbike.com/album/My-Bike
    Bianchi (Gone but not forgotten) - viewtopic.php?t=12704175
    Pinarello - viewtopic.php?f=40044&t=12844010
  • disgruntledgoat
    disgruntledgoat Posts: 8,957
    My new favourite Wikipedia edit

    "Martin was brought up on a coal barge, where he was assistant bell-end"
    "In many ways, my story was that of a raging, Christ-like figure who hauled himself off the cross, looked up at the Romans with blood in his eyes and said 'My turn, sock cookers'"

    @gietvangent
  • fast as fupp
    fast as fupp Posts: 2,277
    'saturday knobjuggling' haha! :lol:
    'dont forget lads, one evertonian is worth twenty kopites'
  • DavidBelcher
    DavidBelcher Posts: 2,684
    <Novelty Island>

    Very poor!

    </Novelty Island>

    No surprise to see that the usual levels of tabloid dross are being maintained at Dacre Towers. :roll:

    If you would like to have a go at producing your own reactionary alarmist drivel, why not try this fun link;

    http://vodex.net/mailmaker/

    There's also the Daily Mail-o-Matic, but links to that have previously been posted on BR so forum members are probably aware of it already.

    David
    "It is not enough merely to win; others must lose." - Gore Vidal
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Posts: 79,667
    ha ha ha, what a twot. Whats he doing writing about cars ? I thought he was a failed celebrity chef?

    Anyway, bandwagonesque of Clarkson seems to be his thing, and the Daily (Nazi) Mail, just let him dribble on.... :wink:
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Posts: 79,667
    Just made a complaint under the clause, PUBLIC INTEREST.

    Please feel free to take 3 mins and fill it in. remember to paste the link to the story in the relevant box to uphold the complaint.

    Get busy folks.

    http://www.pcc.org.uk/complaints/form.html
  • sonny73
    sonny73 Posts: 2,203
    EPIC FAIL

    W*nker you are Martin
  • DavidBelcher
    DavidBelcher Posts: 2,684
    dmclite wrote:
    I thought he was a failed celebrity chef?

    Is that as in a failed chef who's a celebrity, a failed celebrity who's a chef, or both? :wink:

    (Answer: let's face it, probably both)

    David
    "It is not enough merely to win; others must lose." - Gore Vidal
  • Anonymous
    Anonymous Posts: 79,667
    Oh no! The wiki article has been returned to it's former glory
  • cougie
    cougie Posts: 22,512
    Aah the Mail have pulled the 'Your comments section' too - the cowardly f*ckers.

    Well if I cant comment thru there - then I'll have to make do with the Press Complaints instead...
  • timb64
    timb64 Posts: 248
    Related to Chris Martin by any chance!?
  • cougie
    cougie Posts: 22,512
    Aww did anyone save the changed wiki page ? It was far more entertaining than the overpaid buffoons Mille Miglia attempt.

    To relate his efforts to cycling - its like buying a Team GB ultra limited edidtion track tandem bike to do the end to end on. Hiring Vickie Pendleton to be your stoker and then trashing the bike before you've even left Cornwall. A massive fail.
  • Rev\'d Gatlin
    Rev\'d Gatlin Posts: 190
    But recently, there's been a disturbing development.

    Each Saturday, a big black truck appears at the bottom of my road, with bikes stuck to the roof and rear. Out of it step a bunch of City-boy ponces in fluorescent Spider-Man outfits, shades, bum bags and stupid cleated shoes, who then pedal around our narrow lanes four abreast with their private parts alarmingly apparent. Do they enjoy it? They never smile. I'm sure they just come here to wind me up.

    Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/home/moslive ... z0R6FxsKJz

    Can anybody verify this? Is there a secret organisation of square mile super hero dandies terrorising the countryside with their all too apparent special powers? No wonder the petrol head feels inadequate. He must dread the sound of the 'big black truck".

    Anyway I thought Jimmy works Saturday's, has he been skiving?
    If they can get you asking the wrong questions, they don't have to worry about answers.
  • DavidBelcher
    DavidBelcher Posts: 2,684
    cougie wrote:
    To relate his efforts to cycling - its like buying a Team GB ultra limited edidtion track tandem bike to do the end to end on. Hiring Vickie Pendleton to be your stoker and then trashing the bike before you've even left Cornwall. A massive fail.

    Or for a non-cycling analogy, it's a bit like organising a food & drink festival, hoping to hire a top TV chef to make an appearance as one of the highlights....and ending up with James Martin instead. Saturday Kitchen? Do me a favour - it's not a proper food show, it's the sort of anodyne, meaningless flannel you watch on the telly if recovering from a boozy Friday night out 'cause it's easy for a hungover brain to cope with (speaking from personal experience here)!

    David
    "It is not enough merely to win; others must lose." - Gore Vidal
  • DavidBelcher
    DavidBelcher Posts: 2,684
    Rev\'d Gatlin wrote:
    Anyway I thought Jimmy works Saturday's, has he been skiving?

    I thought it was recorded in advance, though - remember the 'two puddings' phone vote scandal involving the equally pointless Eamonn Holmes?

    David
    "It is not enough merely to win; others must lose." - Gore Vidal
  • disgruntledgoat
    disgruntledgoat Posts: 8,957
    I was going to ring up under the pretence of wanting help making a souffle or some sort purely to abuse the ignorant fecker... seems my plan is scuppered now.
    "In many ways, my story was that of a raging, Christ-like figure who hauled himself off the cross, looked up at the Romans with blood in his eyes and said 'My turn, sock cookers'"

    @gietvangent
  • disgruntledgoat
    disgruntledgoat Posts: 8,957
    Also, a shame the bloke is clearly too cowardly even to face the public on his own blog (he's disabled it), as I was going to point to the example of the wimpy, herbal tea drinking, sandal wearing serving army Major who was killed by a driver whilst Time Trialling this year, enquiring as to whether, aside from breaking the speed limit the inadequate little Yorkist had ever done anything remotely brave in his life.
    "In many ways, my story was that of a raging, Christ-like figure who hauled himself off the cross, looked up at the Romans with blood in his eyes and said 'My turn, sock cookers'"

    @gietvangent
  • DavidBelcher
    DavidBelcher Posts: 2,684
    NapoleonD wrote:
    Oh no! The wiki article has been returned to it's former glory

    I didn't get a chance to read the 'revised' version either! Does it still exist in any form? If not, maybe some kind soul could re-write it, and I reckon this is a job for....Uncyclopedia!! The site's worth a look in its own right and has some pretty funny stuff in it;

    http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Main_Page

    :)

    David
    "It is not enough merely to win; others must lose." - Gore Vidal
  • dilemna
    dilemna Posts: 2,187
    The heat is rising in the kitchen will Martin be able to take it or will he get badly burned?
    Life is like a roll of toilet paper; long and useful, but always ends at the wrong moment. Anon.
    Think how stupid the average person is.......
    half of them are even more stupid than you first thought.
  • DavidBelcher
    DavidBelcher Posts: 2,684
    dilemna wrote:
    The heat is rising in the kitchen will Martin be able to take it or will he get badly burned?

    One thing's for sure, all the chips seem to be on his shoulder! :wink:

    David
    "It is not enough merely to win; others must lose." - Gore Vidal
  • dilemna
    dilemna Posts: 2,187
    Rather a c0ck up on the PR front for Martin.

    Rather a smelly egg on face retreat will be on the cards me thinks.
    Life is like a roll of toilet paper; long and useful, but always ends at the wrong moment. Anon.
    Think how stupid the average person is.......
    half of them are even more stupid than you first thought.
  • d_retallack
    d_retallack Posts: 27
    screen dump from twitter
    http://twitpic.com/hpur0/full
    5138028552_5b583a9b56_t.jpg
  • all show no go
    all show no go Posts: 542
    The 'revised' wiki entry I saw after the screen dump version stated that he was a 'world champion willy chopper'. Apparently the word 'willy' replaced 'carrot'!
    (Is 'willy chopper' close to 'kn*b-jockey' in this context?)
    Let's close our eyes and see what happens
  • DavidBelcher
    DavidBelcher Posts: 2,684
    d_retallack wrote:
    screen dump from twitter
    http://twitpic.com/hpur0/full

    Quality!! :D

    David
    "It is not enough merely to win; others must lose." - Gore Vidal
  • edeverett
    edeverett Posts: 224
    The Daily Mail removed the comments left on their site criticising the article. So I dugg the story rewriting headlines in language the daily mail readers could understand. So please go and digg it and tell your friends to digg it:

    http://digg.com/autos/JAMES_MARTIN_Terr ... ts_is_cool
  • Nelson Longflap
    Nelson Longflap Posts: 129
    he was on telly last year, competing in the Mille Miglia, a classic sports car rally in Italy. His chosen co-driver was a very experienced professional woman (driver), but once she landed the job, he wouldn't actually let her drive just in case she might, you know, crash.

    The car ended up breaking down and it cost an absolute fortune to fix. I remember with much happiness how much the whole venture had cost him.

    The bloke's probably twice my size but he's one of those people I'd willingly tw@t on sight.
  • DavidBelcher
    DavidBelcher Posts: 2,684
    Keen not to jeopardise his BBC telly career, Martin is currently working on a new version of CBeebies favourite Big Cook, Little Cook, entitled Big Car, Little C**k.

    David

    P.S. Apologies for the blindingly obvious joke. :oops:
    "It is not enough merely to win; others must lose." - Gore Vidal
  • nwallace
    nwallace Posts: 1,465
    Right so at what point does the group of cyclists (re?)approach the police reporting inconsiderate or possibly dangerous driving, now that the offender has admitted to it in public.

    Yes I was driving a very distinct and rare car in the country side near my home and scared some people.

    If your going to do something stupid like that you do it in a Silver Ford Focus, there is so bloody many of them the car being driven isn't enough to trace.

    Of course he has identified one of the dangers of electric cars to other road users as well.
    Do Nellyphants count?

    Commuter: FCN 9
    Cheapo Roadie: FCN 5
    Off Road: FCN 11

    +1 when I don't get round to shaving for x days
  • edeverett
    edeverett Posts: 224
    Comments are still open on this story by James Martin. Leave your views on the Tesla article here : http://www.dailymail.co.uk/home/moslive ... -back.html

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