Cycling Mysteries
Flanker37
Posts: 70
just for a bit of fun here are 2 of mine:
1. why is it that when you are walking or cycling through a spiders web, it is always at eye level
2. why when you are on a really long ride does your willy shrivel right up to near nothing, and you think WTF! when you need a pee.
if you have any more feel free to share your woes with us
1. why is it that when you are walking or cycling through a spiders web, it is always at eye level
2. why when you are on a really long ride does your willy shrivel right up to near nothing, and you think WTF! when you need a pee.
if you have any more feel free to share your woes with us
0
Comments
-
Here's one - Why do I always seem to have a head wind when going too and comming from work?FCN Daily commute = 11
FCN Fixie commute = 50 -
Flanker37 wrote:2. why when you are on a really long ride does your willy shrivel right up to near nothing, and you think WTF! when you need a pee.
Also, you can usually guarantee that you'll need a wee when (a) there isn't a public loo for miles and (b) there's no convenient greenery to hide behind either.
Oh, and why do rain showers always come on shortly after you've left the house, but not until you're far enough from the front door to ensure that turning back to collect your waterproofs will make you late for work? :?
David"It is not enough merely to win; others must lose." - Gore Vidal0 -
DevUK wrote:Here's one - Why do I always seem to have a head wind when going too and comming from work?
Because you are usually cycling faster than any tailwind or into a headwind.Old hippies don't die, they just lie low until the laughter stops and their time comes round again.
Joseph Gallivan0 -
Why does that worrying clicking noise stop when I get off my bike and try and locate the source.
Why do the lights turn green just as I have completely stopped and put a foot down.
Why do my feet not clip in when on a really busy stretch of road, but snap in efforlessly when pootling along a deserted country lane."Encyclopaedia is a fetish for very small bicycles"0 -
I'm rubbish, so why do I bother?0
-
Why do people who have started to cross the road, and then have just spotted you out of the corner of their eye (or after a shout of "Oi!"), then commence to do the "I'm not sure which way I'm going to move now" dance? :?Cycling weakly0
-
Why are nettles always elbow and bare calf height?
Why at 6ft, 14st and in hi-viz clothing am I still invisible to most drivers :roll:
Pain is only weakness leaving the body0 -
why does jim walker have to make it near impossible to get spare parts for speedplay zero pedals sent over to a bike shop in northern ireland that is actually easy to get to.
why are the best cycling mechanics always a long drive away.
(its like that & thats the way it is
) 0 -
Why is my wife always miles behing :x0
-
Why is it that when I decide to take a bite out of a power bar and a sip of water that
an 18 wheel dump truck carrying boulders comes by me, on the narrowest part of the road, at 80 MPH, blasting his horn. And he was nowhere in sight when I started this, often difficult, procedure of riding and eating. Add to that the fact that I am usually miles
from anywhere on a obscure country road.0 -
iainment wrote:DevUK wrote:Here's one - Why do I always seem to have a head wind when going too and comming from work?
Because you are usually cycling faster than any tailwind or into a headwind.
There s no such thing as a tailwind Dev - only headwinds and good days!We're in danger of confusing passion with incompetence
- @ddraver0 -
Where does all the rubber go that wears off my tyres? Come to think of it where does all the rubber go that wears off everyone's tyres!0
-
Flanker37 wrote:just for a bit of fun here are 2 of mine:
1. why is it that when you are walking or cycling through a spiders web, it is always at eye level
2. why when you are on a really long ride does your willy shrivel right up to near nothing, and you think WTF! when you need a pee.
if you have any more feel free to share your woes with us
Why do owners of snarling vicious dogs all seem to say hes ok he will not bite he's harmless as he getting ready to take a chunk out of your leg as you cycle past !Gasping - but somehow still alive !0 -
LMAO, yeah this is a good thread, keep em coming,
I can sympathize with some of these, especially the nettles, & the hi-viz story... I've almost been under a bus twice at the same roundabout wearing a workmens hi-viz bomber jacket in the winter.
And i think some sneaky fellows at the skunkworks are trialing new stealth technology on my bike without telling me. I only had my right handlebar mirror obliterated by a taxi 4 weeks ago.
here's another one
why do your expensive puncture proof tires (sic) get a puncture when you forget to pack your repair kit0 -
Only when I'm in a swimming pool. :?Flanker37 wrote:2. why when you are on a really long ride does your willy shrivel right up to near nothing, and you think WTF! when you need a pee.
Because it's either that or falling due to toe overlap.Wallace1492 wrote:Why do the lights turn green just as I have completely stopped and put a foot down.
Why do my feet not clip in when on a really busy stretch of road, but snap in effortlessly when pootling along a deserted country lane.
This is soon to happen to me as I'm switching from SPD to SPD SL tomorrow. 0 -
In answer to both of these, go on a nude country walk. You will find that cobb webs are everywhere, it is just that you only feel them against bare skin. You will also find that your willy shrivels up in the cold, not just on long rides. :twisted:Flanker37 wrote:1. why is it that when you are walking or cycling through a spiders web, it is always at eye level
2. why when you are on a really long ride does your willy shrivel right up to near nothing, and you think WTF! when you need a pee.To err is human, but to make a real balls up takes a super computer.0 -
Why did Giro put bee and wasp attracting agents inside my helmet?0
-
Why, on some days, I put loads of effort in and seem to go slower, then other days I defy physics and pedal effortlessly at a good pace for hours?0
-
Why is it, the narrower the tyre of the passerby on the other side of the road, the less likelyhood of a wave back?0
-
Why do you only notice that you've cycled over a dog t*rd after you've wheeled the bike all the way through the house?Cycling weakly0
-
What happened to all the roadside smut-mags?*
*I ask in the spirit of investigation - not in a 'Bah, another wasted journey' frustrated sense0 -
CHRISNOIR wrote:What happened to all the roadside smut-mags?*
*I ask in the spirit of investigation - not in a 'Bah, another wasted journey' frustrated sense
Victims of the rise in online smut?
David"It is not enough merely to win; others must lose." - Gore Vidal0 -
Percy Veere wrote:Why is my wife always miles behing :x
'cos you're a selfish bugger who can't be bothered to wait for someone you supposedly 'love' :roll: ?--
Burls Ti Tourer for Tarmac, Saracen aluminium full suss for trails0 -
Why is there always a strong headwind when you're A. Tired or B. In a hurry?
0 -
andrewjoseph wrote:Percy Veere wrote:Why is my wife always miles behing :x
'cos you're a selfish bugger who can't be bothered to wait for someone you supposedly 'love' :roll: ?
It's phsycological - the slower I go, the slower she goes.0 -
Why is it that when I'm feeling good, I can go days and not see another cyclist, but when I'm feeling knackered they all come out of hiding and my pride forces me to bury myself to claim their scalps/preserve mine?N00b commuter with delusions of competence
FCN 11 - If you scalp me, do I not bleed?0
