Baby boy or baby girl dilemma!

zedders

Hi.
In a few months am going to be a Dad for the first time at 34 yrs! (Yes I'm bricking it!) My dilemma is that so far I've insisted I don't want to know what it’s going to be. To be honest as long as it's healthy etc I be well happy.

However my misses has moaned and moaned she wants to know if it's a boy or a girl from day one! She has mentioned it everyday, and says it’s only going to be one or the other so it doesn't really matter? She's only has a couple of months to go, but due to a small medical issue she is having another scan in a couple weeks! I thought I'd survived the 12 & 20 weeks scans without finding out, but now she’s telling me there's another final scan coming, and she's going to find out!

I told her that nobody finds out, especially when it’s your first. So can you good folk tell her she's wrong please! She knows am posting this! So no messing about you lot? Comments from the ladies and family folk would be most welcome.

I make matters worse I told her no baby is going to effect my cycling! My sleep. My social life, my wallet etc is fine, but not the cycling!!! :evil:

iainment

Congrats and all that but why can't she know and you not, after all she's the one carrying it?

Btw for what it's worth I didn't know for my first but knew for the second, didn't make any difference to how I felt about them.

Love your optimism about maintaining your cycling as a right.

Soreknees

I make matters worse I told her no baby is going to effect my cycling! My sleep. My social life, my wallet etc is fine, but not the cycling!!! Evil or Very Mad

hahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
hahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

wilfus

iainment wrote:

Congrats and all that but why can't she know and you not

Because as soon as she finds out everything for the baby will turn blue or pink so it will kind of give it away.

We've just had a second child, got a boy and a girl now, didn't find out the sex for either. Was kind of tempted second time round though.

The only thing you really gain from finding out is being able to buy the right coloured stuff a bit earlier.

guilliano

Why is baby stuff always light blue or pink? It's not like the baby cares and those colours aren't exactly popular once they are old enough to choose

Anonymous

It's freakin awesome when you find out on the day, I mean awesome!

Dont't be swayed.

zedders

iainment wrote:

Congrats and all that but why can't she know and you not, after all she's the one carrying it?

First off, if I go to the scan, they won't tell you the sex unless both parties agree to find out.

But if she pulls a fast sneaky one and goes with her mum, she'll find out! (and she can do this because the date hasn't been set yet). If she does find out there's no hope. Have you ever ever heard of a woman keeping her mouth shut? Not my misses anyway. She has some good points (sorry many good points), but keeping a secret - no way!

Anonymous

Why avoid one of the most exciting things ever to happen in your life?!?

guilliano

Beat her to the punch..... go and buy a nursery full of Leicester City stuff...... that way it's unisex. Then just wonder round with an i-pod on for a few months so you don't find out

zedders

guilliano wrote:

Beat her to the punch..... go and buy a nursery full of Leicester City stuff...... that way it's unisex. Then just wonder round with an i-pod on for a few months so you don't find out

Another sore subject. She wants it to be a Forrest fan!
She's Forrest scum, and so is her Dad. As her two nephews are City fans she's trying to tell me we have to even the numbers up at bit for her & her Dad's sake!

Am not normally weak, but I am getting beaten down at the mo! She's giving it - "cycling, City fan, and not finding out what sex it is" - "Your getting it all your own way!"

redvee

Too late to tell her what sex you want the baby to be. Should have told her before conception

Angus444

Congrats Zedders!

I became a dad 2 years ago, when I was 42. Best thing ever.... We didn't want to know the sex, but I KNEW it was going to be a girl... In delivery, the midwife held baby up, nurse standing next to me said, 'it's a boy', midwife shot her a look and bluntly said, 'it's a girl!......

Now, 2 yrs on, good sleep pattern, no interruptions, and I'm well tuned in to getting up at 5 at weekends, and getting 3 or 4 hr runs in before brekkie..... You fit your cycling around what needs to be done, but a baby on the scene shouldn't signal the end of your fun.....

There's something good about not knowing whether it's a boy or girl.......

a_n_t

we have our 20 week scan next month and will be finding out the sex then, why wait? Its not going to change!

Sun Dodger

Brilliant!

Expecting our first in November. There are so few surprises left in life, that we thought better not to know....

Stay strong!

zedders

a_n_t wrote:

we have our 20 week scan next month and will be finding out the sex then, why wait? Its not going to change!

What about when you tell family and friends. You call up, "its a boy" you say. They reply: "I know!" End of conversation!

BigG67

Soreknees wrote:

I make matters worse I told her no baby is going to effect my cycling! My sleep. My social life, my wallet etc is fine, but not the cycling!!! Evil or Very Mad

hahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
hahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

hahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
hahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
ahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

hopper1

Congratulations, zedders.
We had a wee fella almost 4 years ago, when I was almost 45!
Initially, we weren't going to know the sex of the baby, but I was adamant it was going to a little girl ( no reason why!).
As time went by my wife became more and more worried that I would be disappointed should the baby turn out to be a boy, so much so that it started to affect her health. We decided to ask the sex at the next scan... It's a boy, said the nurse, I didn't care, as long as he was going to be healthy.
Knowing the sex didn't bother me, once I knew.
He was born 8 weeks early, whilst I was working overseas (I planned to be home for the due date), I got to the hospital 2 hours after the birth, and, even though I missed the birth, seeing my little (very) baby boy just blew me away.
Although prem, he's been healthy since day 1, and the easiest baby to look after I have ever come across.
So, if it makes her feel better, and it's one less worry for her to stress over, let it go, it wont affect the experience.

craker

well you've still got to tell your family the baby's name (don't give them advance warning and a chance for them to persuade you differently) (unless you've got a short list of weird names).

btw I've found myself cycling more since our two came along. Got a spare half hour? Quick do a ten mile at TT speeds. Cycle to work instead of getting up late and rolling in late... etc

Good luck. We weren't told what sex ours were (some authorities won't) and it was great having the surprise, but it's between your and your missus really.

Ash_

Our son's seven months old now. My wife wanted to find out the sex too. To be honest, I didn't mind knowing or not. Sure, there was no element of surprise on the day - although there's enough emotion going on anyway - but it actually gave me more time to get my head round what was coming up. Thinking about 'our son' instead of 'our baby' made him seem more of a person, not just an event.

Also, we had one of those '4-D' ultrasound pictures done, and you'd have to have been pretty bad at biology not to work the sex out from that.

As for a baby not affecting your cycling - yeah right!
There are positives though:

Going riding at six in the morning will become second nature.
You can use Sudocreme instead of expensive Assos chamois cream.
You can clean water bottles with a baby steriliser / Milton tablets.
Baby rice can be used to make energy drink.
Baby wipes are the best thing for cleaning your bike.


Although I've only done three of the above!

passout

I never knew 'what 'they'd be until both of my girls were born, best way I think...but then I like suprises. I'd go with the Mrs on this one though - just keep her happy.

jellybellywmb

zedders wrote:

guilliano wrote:

Beat her to the punch..... go and buy a nursery full of Leicester City stuff...... that way it's unisex. Then just wonder round with an i-pod on for a few months so you don't find out

Another sore subject. She wants it to be a Forrest fan!
She's Forrest scum, and so is her Dad. As her two nephews are City fans she's trying to tell me we have to even the numbers up at bit for her & her Dad's sake!

Am not normally weak, but I am getting beaten down at the mo! She's giving it - "cycling, City fan, and not finding out what sex it is" - "Your getting it all your own way!"

I like your wifes thinking, the red way is the best way! Be sure to buy a Forest babygrow from the team shop they are soo cute and nuetral white (and red of course)

We left the first as a surprise ( It was a boy) and we found out on the second (a girl)
Like you say at the end of the day it doesnt matter but agree that finding out on the day is the best feeling ever.

a_n_t

zedders wrote:

What about when you tell family and friends. You call up, "its a boy" you say. They reply: "I know!" End of conversation!

er, i wont be having that conversation then, i'll be having it in 4 weeks. Just a question of time.

blu3cat

Exactly the same situation as OP, got 9 weeks left, and we have managed to hold on. The missus had to by default as I really don't want to know. I think it will be magical to find out on the day (as NapoleonD said). She has come round to my way of thinking and is liking the idea of the surprise now.

I am almost happy to lose cycling for a month after the birth while I am at home as long as I can get one of these for my progeny.

(no seriously the best baby grows ever)

http://www.funkyfancydress.com/star-wars-89/princess-leia-baby-bunting-infant-4243.html

or

http://www.funkyfancydress.com/star-wars-89/darth-vader-baby-bunting-4240.html

Anonymous

Don't find out. I think finding out at the birth is so momentus that is truly is one of your lifes defining moments. If your mrs wants to find out as a matter of convenience, then thats just daft, imho. We have 3 children and we have not found out with all 3, just doesn't seem right to find out.

If your cycling isn't affected, then you are doing something wrong.

natrix

Sat here with my 6 week old baby boy. At the 20 week scan, the first image that we saw were his 'bits' so no option but to find out in advance!!! To be honest the birth is such an experience that it won't matter if you already know.

Don't let your wife believe all the horror stories, my good lady was convinced that she'd need an epidural and all the drugs she could get, but she only used the gas & air and said that it was a wonderful, enjoyable experience. The backache that she had during the last week was more painful than giving birth.

popette

We found out on our fourth but the other three were surprises. By number 4, I just wanted to know so that I could sort out the logistics of bedrooms, which clothes to keep etc. We didn't tell anyone - it was our wonderful secret. I didn't make any difference to how I felt when she was actually born. We were expecting her and it was fantastic to finally meet her. I think the secret actually added something to the whole thing.
I only started cycling after I had my fourth baby so there is hope that you can carry it on. In our house, my husband goes off to watch Man City (amongst other things) and I go out cycling. We both need time to do our own thing. Make sure you encourage her to pursue her own interests too (and tidy up a bit when she's out).
Good luck!

Verbal

Expecting our 1st in 6 weeks and we don't know what it will be and are looking forard to the surprise!

Spiny_Norman

Don't do it! Keep it a surprise. After the first one, more people want to know early because of the practicalities, but it's definitely more usual not to know first time around. Another thing to consider is that even a scan can't be absolutely certain. I mean, you know if it's a boy and he flashes you, but accuracy is only about 95%.

We're expecting our second in 3 weeks, and we didn't find out for either, although we were tempted this time.

prawny

We found out that our first was a boy, it's still a surprise innit, you just get surprised earlier. We wanted to find out because we couldn't think of any girls names so it was a relief that we didn't need to, still didn't buy all blue clothes though. the wifes pregnant again now, so we can use the clothes again

cee

A friend of mine has recently had a child and the hospital would not tell her the sex of the child even if she wanted to know....

Apparently, some hospitals have a policy that says don't tell, while others tell if both parents want to know...

I was quite shocked when i found that out....I would have thought that if you wanted to know, then they should tell you.

kevsterjw

....