Apparently I look like a rapist or mugger or something

Kieran_Burns

So I'm on the way home tonight and am cruising down the bridleway. A beeeeeautiful evening ride in the sun, so I'm chilled - there's a tailwind and it's a slight downhill.

(I'm trying to project a picture of complete relaxation here.... )

Anyway - I get to the first bridlegate (chain locks on both gates in the set) and this teenage girl on a MTB sees me coming and deliberately hoiks the chain over BOTH flaming gates as I approach! :evil:

She then sets of at one hell of a lick - I mean REALLY shifting.

Okay red rag to a bull time now. I HATE lack of consideration, it is truly my one pet peeve. So I get through both gates and launch. :twisted:

Now normally I average maybe 18 ish down here, it's just a stretch to relax on, but now I have the bit between my teeth and I am up to and holding 24-25 the whole way down the 3/4 mile stretch.

Now even with this speed she still gets to the next gates and looking right at me again, drops the chains over both gates!!! ARGH!!!

The next set is only 500 yards up but she is off like a startled gazelle and burns up to them; by the time I have the gates set and locked she is off and away and yep: chains set.

Only now there are no more gates and I am fuming by this point.

High cruising gear and I am belting up the bridleway. She is leaving a cloud of dust and is REALLY motoring - I reckoned by this point she was just some snotty little oik who wanted to prove a point and was having it away as fast as possible.

No chance. I may be middle aged and hopelessly unfit but I was having none of it.

I soon catch up and she is hold 19-20 on the bridleway on a MTB on the worst surface section, and now she is swerving all over and getting in my way!! For Crying Out Loud!!!! So clearly to my mind she WAS a snotty oik just being a pain in the ass.

So I say (fairly politely I thought) "Do you NOT want me to get past, or what??!!??"

She replies "I thought you were some scary mugger after me!"


WHAT?????????????????????????


All I was bleeding doing was riding down the bloody sodding blasted bridleway being completely relaxed and you p*ssed me off by slamming shut the bloody sodding blasted gate in my face!!!!

(I didn't say this by the way)

I was going to let rip and then I was going to explain to her, and then I concluded "Sod it" hanging around was only going to worry her so I just kept the pedal down and burnt off

As an aside I DID get a personal best for the ride home...... :roll:

always_tyred

Stop wearing that dark cloak and this will stop happening.

b0y1nterupted

or atleast wear something underneath it

Big Wib

Always Tyred wrote:

Stop wearing that dark cloak and this will stop happening.

you beat me to it

downfader

She's prolly one of those poor kids who has over anxious parents that wrap her up in cotton wool. :?

I got a funny look off a lady jogger last night when I mounted a kerb and got off the bike to check that the route was still a shared path (hadnt been that way in 3 years). Just smiled and explained politely. Luckily it was.

Kieran_Burns

The cloak was in the dry cleaners I'll have you know, besides which it was too windy; I'd have taken off if I'd worn it on the way home. 8)



Pretty p*ss poor state of affairs though: you can't just be out and about if you're white, middle-aged and male without incurring the wrath of foamy mouthed, liberal, grass munching, lesbian, dwarf single parents who have you guilty of the hideous crime of moobs and a penis.

<sigh>

gb155

Always Tyred wrote:

Stop wearing that dark cloak and this will stop happening.

Gutted, You beat me to it.

Kieran_Burns

gb155 wrote:

Always Tyred wrote:

Stop wearing that dark cloak and this will stop happening.

Gutted, You beat me to it.

You are all SO predictable :roll:

gb155

Kieran_Burns wrote:

gb155 wrote:

Always Tyred wrote:

Stop wearing that dark cloak and this will stop happening.

Gutted, You beat me to it.

You are all SO predictable :roll:

lol

Now leave me alone you mugger/stalker/rapist moob sporting penis

Feltup

I don't suppose it helped that you were foaming at the mouth from all the effort of cycling that fast.

whyamihere

Feltup wrote:

I don't suppose it helped that you were foaming at the mouth from all the effort of cycling that fast.

Yeah, the tongue hanging out, breathing heavily while apparently being utterly fixated by her arse wouldn't have helped your cause...

bluesacs

This all sounds like you're trying to arrange some sort of alibi, just fess up and go to the cops.

Kieran_Burns

Okay. In hindsight, me motoring down the bridleway in clear pursuit would not have helped her state of mind, :oops: but I was just pootling when she first saw me and slammed the gate in my face :evil:


Anyway - hiding the body is easy, the rabbits and squirrels eat ANYTHING




Karma was clearly not on my side this morning. Dozy tart with daughter walks across the t-junction in front of me. She's on the phone completely oblivious and daughter trusting her mother, and the Mother got upset when I told her to look when crossing the road!

Then I had a van open its door as I'm filtering up the inside of stationary traffic (right in my face, God knows how I stopped in time! The bloke was VERY apologetic though, and finally the lorry that just drifted through a full red light and almost took me AND the car next to me out.

Did I end up in London this morning??? :shock:

antfly

I think you may be overreacting a touch, she thought you were a mugger not a rapist.

bluesacs

I'm just thinking, you're still working off Adolf Hitler's karmic debt, aren't you?

The Rookie

Kieran_Burns wrote:

Karma was clearly not on my side this morning. Dozy tart with daughter walks across the t-junction in front of me. She's on the phone completely oblivious and daughter trusting her mother, and the Mother got upset when I told her to look when crossing the road!

Of course if you were approaching the T junction to turn off the main road into the side road, they had right of way!

highway code wrote:

206
Drive carefully and slowly when
~SNIP~
* turning at road junctions; give way to pedestrians who are already crossing the road into which you are turning

Simon

Jay dubbleU

Kieran_Burns wrote:

Okay. In hindsight, me motoring down the bridleway in clear pursuit would not have helped her state of mind, :oops: but I was just pootling when she first saw me and slammed the gate in my face :evil:


Anyway - hiding the body is easy, the rabbits and squirrels eat ANYTHING

And the rats - don't forget the rats :twisted:

Kieran_Burns

The Beginner wrote:

Kieran_Burns wrote:

Karma was clearly not on my side this morning. Dozy tart with daughter walks across the t-junction in front of me. She's on the phone completely oblivious and daughter trusting her mother, and the Mother got upset when I told her to look when crossing the road!

Of course if you were approaching the T junction to turn off the main road into the side road, they had right of way!

highway code wrote:

206
Drive carefully and slowly when
~SNIP~
* turning at road junctions; give way to pedestrians who are already crossing the road into which you are turning

from the side road onto the main road - she started to cross without even looking. It was only when I shouted she even noticed me.
Simon

2tired2ride

This has got me thinking what would be the best bike for a mugger?

I'm thinking a cyclocross bike with flat bars, mountain bike cassette for a wide ratio gearing for quick acceleration and panniers to put the stolen goods in.

Kieran_Burns

2tired2ride wrote:

This has got me thinking what would be the best bike for a mugger?

I'm thinking a cyclocross bike with flat bars, mountain bike cassette for a wide ratio gearing for quick acceleration and panniers to put the stolen goods in.

Ahhhh..... crap. :shock:

I've got a CX bike with drop bars, triple ring going down to 34/32, a rack and panniers


damndamndamndamn

antfly

Well there you go then,you can hardly blame the poor girl.

Kieran_Burns

I hate everyone on this forum,

You all smell

and pick on me

and smell

MTA

Thank you - an excellent start to the afternoon. The image of the original post was fab, gave me a good chuckle.

jedster

Sorry KB but I'm feeling sorry for the girl not you - she must have been terrified!

I've never had this on a bike but I have had times when I've been walking somewhere at night and it turns out that I'm going the same way as a woman who is someway ahead. Everytime she turns the same way that I am going to turn I feel a little bit more awkward.

Probably being oversensitive but given you tale perhaps not!

Kieran_Burns

being serious (!)

If I happen to see her again I'll have a friendly word and hopefully put her mind at ease. I think she'll be on her way to the loal equestrian centre so I may well do.

I had a chat with one of the guys in the office and we went through the same stages as this thread, and I did say that it is lack of social cohesion that causes the issues - people just don't relate to each other, and see 'strangers', and not just other people.

Porgy

jedster wrote:

Sorry KB but I'm feeling sorry for the girl not you - she must have been terrified!

I'm guessing she's used to it by now - if she gets that scared that easily.

I've never had this on a bike but I have had times when I've been walking somewhere at night and it turns out that I'm going the same way as a woman who is someway ahead. Everytime she turns the same way that I am going to turn I feel a little bit more awkward.

Well you should stop following vulnerable women around then :P

fnb1

mmm, try re-telling the story, but, from her point of view, lazily cycling along bridleway, noticed this guy cycling behind me...............

biondino

Kieran_Burns wrote:

If I happen to see her again I'll have a friendly word

Isn't that against the terms of the restraining order?

Kieran_Burns

biondino wrote:

Kieran_Burns wrote:

If I happen to see her again I'll have a friendly word

Isn't that against the terms of the restraining order?

only if they catch me.... rabbits and squirrels, rabbits and squirrels.... and rats

biondino

I once got stopped and questioned by police for walking 5 yards behind a woman at night. I'd walked across a 10-yard-wide stretch of grass + trees - the normal way back from the station - and the police car sitting about 20 yards away had basically seen what looked like her emerging from a wooded area with me about to pounce!

I never did get to attack anyone that night.

Kieran_Burns

biondino wrote:

I once got stopped and questioned by police for walking 5 yards behind a woman at night. I'd walked across a 10-yard-wide stretch of grass + trees - the normal way back from the station - and the police car sitting about 20 yards away had basically seen what looked like her emerging from a wooded area with me about to pounce!

I never did get to attack anyone that night.

back away slowly, maintain eye contact and make no sudden moves.....