Apparently I look like a rapist or mugger or something
Kieran_Burns
Posts: 9,757
So I'm on the way home tonight and am cruising down the bridleway. A beeeeeautiful evening ride in the sun, so I'm chilled - there's a tailwind and it's a slight downhill.
(I'm trying to project a picture of complete relaxation here.... )
Anyway - I get to the first bridlegate (chain locks on both gates in the set) and this teenage girl on a MTB sees me coming and deliberately hoiks the chain over BOTH flaming gates as I approach! :evil:
She then sets of at one hell of a lick - I mean REALLY shifting.
Okay red rag to a bull time now. I HATE lack of consideration, it is truly my one pet peeve. So I get through both gates and launch. :twisted:
Now normally I average maybe 18 ish down here, it's just a stretch to relax on, but now I have the bit between my teeth and I am up to and holding 24-25 the whole way down the 3/4 mile stretch.
Now even with this speed she still gets to the next gates and looking right at me again, drops the chains over both gates!!! ARGH!!!
The next set is only 500 yards up but she is off like a startled gazelle and burns up to them; by the time I have the gates set and locked she is off and away and yep: chains set.
Only now there are no more gates and I am fuming by this point.
High cruising gear and I am belting up the bridleway. She is leaving a cloud of dust and is REALLY motoring - I reckoned by this point she was just some snotty little oik who wanted to prove a point and was having it away as fast as possible.
No chance. I may be middle aged and hopelessly unfit but I was having none of it.
I soon catch up and she is hold 19-20 on the bridleway on a MTB on the worst surface section, and now she is swerving all over and getting in my way!! For Crying Out Loud!!!! So clearly to my mind she WAS a snotty oik just being a pain in the ass.
So I say (fairly politely I thought) "Do you NOT want me to get past, or what??!!??"
She replies "I thought you were some scary mugger after me!"
WHAT?????????????????????????
All I was bleeding doing was riding down the bloody sodding blasted bridleway being completely relaxed and you p*ssed me off by slamming shut the bloody sodding blasted gate in my face!!!!
(I didn't say this by the way)
I was going to let rip and then I was going to explain to her, and then I concluded "Sod it" hanging around was only going to worry her so I just kept the pedal down and burnt off
As an aside I DID get a personal best for the ride home...... :roll:
(I'm trying to project a picture of complete relaxation here.... )
Anyway - I get to the first bridlegate (chain locks on both gates in the set) and this teenage girl on a MTB sees me coming and deliberately hoiks the chain over BOTH flaming gates as I approach! :evil:
She then sets of at one hell of a lick - I mean REALLY shifting.
Okay red rag to a bull time now. I HATE lack of consideration, it is truly my one pet peeve. So I get through both gates and launch. :twisted:
Now normally I average maybe 18 ish down here, it's just a stretch to relax on, but now I have the bit between my teeth and I am up to and holding 24-25 the whole way down the 3/4 mile stretch.
Now even with this speed she still gets to the next gates and looking right at me again, drops the chains over both gates!!! ARGH!!!
The next set is only 500 yards up but she is off like a startled gazelle and burns up to them; by the time I have the gates set and locked she is off and away and yep: chains set.
Only now there are no more gates and I am fuming by this point.
High cruising gear and I am belting up the bridleway. She is leaving a cloud of dust and is REALLY motoring - I reckoned by this point she was just some snotty little oik who wanted to prove a point and was having it away as fast as possible.
No chance. I may be middle aged and hopelessly unfit but I was having none of it.
I soon catch up and she is hold 19-20 on the bridleway on a MTB on the worst surface section, and now she is swerving all over and getting in my way!! For Crying Out Loud!!!! So clearly to my mind she WAS a snotty oik just being a pain in the ass.
So I say (fairly politely I thought) "Do you NOT want me to get past, or what??!!??"
She replies "I thought you were some scary mugger after me!"
WHAT?????????????????????????
All I was bleeding doing was riding down the bloody sodding blasted bridleway being completely relaxed and you p*ssed me off by slamming shut the bloody sodding blasted gate in my face!!!!
(I didn't say this by the way)
I was going to let rip and then I was going to explain to her, and then I concluded "Sod it" hanging around was only going to worry her so I just kept the pedal down and burnt off
As an aside I DID get a personal best for the ride home...... :roll:
Chunky Cyclists need your love too! :-)
2009 Specialized Tricross Sport
2011 Trek Madone 4.5
2012 Felt F65X
Proud CX Pervert and quiet roadie. 12 mile commuter
2009 Specialized Tricross Sport
2011 Trek Madone 4.5
2012 Felt F65X
Proud CX Pervert and quiet roadie. 12 mile commuter
0
Comments
-
Stop wearing that dark cloak and this will stop happening.0
-
-
Always Tyred wrote:Stop wearing that dark cloak and this will stop happening.
you beat me to it0 -
She's prolly one of those poor kids who has over anxious parents that wrap her up in cotton wool. :?
I got a funny look off a lady jogger last night when I mounted a kerb and got off the bike to check that the route was still a shared path (hadnt been that way in 3 years). Just smiled and explained politely. Luckily it was.0 -
The cloak was in the dry cleaners I'll have you know, besides which it was too windy; I'd have taken off if I'd worn it on the way home. 8)
Pretty p*ss poor state of affairs though: you can't just be out and about if you're white, middle-aged and male without incurring the wrath of foamy mouthed, liberal, grass munching, lesbian, dwarf single parents who have you guilty of the hideous crime of moobs and a penis.
<sigh>Chunky Cyclists need your love too! :-)
2009 Specialized Tricross Sport
2011 Trek Madone 4.5
2012 Felt F65X
Proud CX Pervert and quiet roadie. 12 mile commuter0 -
Always Tyred wrote:Stop wearing that dark cloak and this will stop happening.
Gutted, You beat me to it.On a Mission to lose 20 stone..Get My Life Back
December 2007 - 39 Stone 05 Lbs
July 2011 - 13 Stone 12 Lbs - Cycled 17851 Miles
http://39stonecyclist.com
Now the hard work starts.0 -
gb155 wrote:Always Tyred wrote:Stop wearing that dark cloak and this will stop happening.
Gutted, You beat me to it.
You are all SO predictable :roll:
Chunky Cyclists need your love too! :-)
2009 Specialized Tricross Sport
2011 Trek Madone 4.5
2012 Felt F65X
Proud CX Pervert and quiet roadie. 12 mile commuter0 -
Kieran_Burns wrote:gb155 wrote:Always Tyred wrote:Stop wearing that dark cloak and this will stop happening.
Gutted, You beat me to it.
You are all SO predictable :roll:
lol
Now leave me alone you mugger/stalker/rapist moob sporting penisOn a Mission to lose 20 stone..Get My Life Back
December 2007 - 39 Stone 05 Lbs
July 2011 - 13 Stone 12 Lbs - Cycled 17851 Miles
http://39stonecyclist.com
Now the hard work starts.0 -
I don't suppose it helped that you were foaming at the mouth from all the effort of cycling that fast.Short hairy legged roadie FCN 4 or 5 in my baggies.
Felt F55 - 2007
Specialized Singlecross - 2008
Marin Rift Zone - 1998
Peugeot Tourmalet - 1983 - taken more hits than Mohammed Ali0 -
Feltup wrote:I don't suppose it helped that you were foaming at the mouth from all the effort of cycling that fast.0
-
This all sounds like you're trying to arrange some sort of alibi, just fess up and go to the cops.0
-
Okay. In hindsight, me motoring down the bridleway in clear pursuit would not have helped her state of mind, :oops: but I was just pootling when she first saw me and slammed the gate in my face :evil:
Anyway - hiding the body is easy, the rabbits and squirrels eat ANYTHING
Karma was clearly not on my side this morning. Dozy tart with daughter walks across the t-junction in front of me. She's on the phone completely oblivious and daughter trusting her mother, and the Mother got upset when I told her to look when crossing the road!
Then I had a van open its door as I'm filtering up the inside of stationary traffic (right in my face, God knows how I stopped in time! The bloke was VERY apologetic though, and finally the lorry that just drifted through a full red light and almost took me AND the car next to me out.
Did I end up in London this morning??? :shock:Chunky Cyclists need your love too! :-)
2009 Specialized Tricross Sport
2011 Trek Madone 4.5
2012 Felt F65X
Proud CX Pervert and quiet roadie. 12 mile commuter0 -
I think you may be overreacting a touch, she thought you were a mugger not a rapist.Smarter than the average bear.0
-
I'm just thinking, you're still working off Adolf Hitler's karmic debt, aren't you?0
-
Kieran_Burns wrote:Karma was clearly not on my side this morning. Dozy tart with daughter walks across the t-junction in front of me. She's on the phone completely oblivious and daughter trusting her mother, and the Mother got upset when I told her to look when crossing the road!highway code wrote:206
Drive carefully and slowly when
~SNIP~
* turning at road junctions; give way to pedestrians who are already crossing the road into which you are turning
SimonCurrently riding a Whyte T130C, X0 drivetrain, Magura Trail brakes converted to mixed wheel size (homebuilt wheels) with 140mm Fox 34 Rhythm and RP23 suspension. 12.2Kg.0 -
Kieran_Burns wrote:Okay. In hindsight, me motoring down the bridleway in clear pursuit would not have helped her state of mind, :oops: but I was just pootling when she first saw me and slammed the gate in my face :evil:
Anyway - hiding the body is easy, the rabbits and squirrels eat ANYTHING
And the rats - don't forget the rats :twisted:0 -
The Beginner wrote:Kieran_Burns wrote:Karma was clearly not on my side this morning. Dozy tart with daughter walks across the t-junction in front of me. She's on the phone completely oblivious and daughter trusting her mother, and the Mother got upset when I told her to look when crossing the road!highway code wrote:206
Drive carefully and slowly when
~SNIP~
* turning at road junctions; give way to pedestrians who are already crossing the road into which you are turning
from the side road onto the main road - she started to cross without even looking. It was only when I shouted she even noticed me.
SimonChunky Cyclists need your love too! :-)
2009 Specialized Tricross Sport
2011 Trek Madone 4.5
2012 Felt F65X
Proud CX Pervert and quiet roadie. 12 mile commuter0 -
This has got me thinking what would be the best bike for a mugger?
I'm thinking a cyclocross bike with flat bars, mountain bike cassette for a wide ratio gearing for quick acceleration and panniers to put the stolen goods in."If we all had hardtails we'd all go down the hill, just slower"
Nick Larsen
Voodoo D-Jab Ti
Boardman Road Team 09
Boardman Urban Team 08
Falcon 3 Speed0 -
2tired2ride wrote:This has got me thinking what would be the best bike for a mugger?
I'm thinking a cyclocross bike with flat bars, mountain bike cassette for a wide ratio gearing for quick acceleration and panniers to put the stolen goods in.
Ahhhh..... crap. :shock:
I've got a CX bike with drop bars, triple ring going down to 34/32, a rack and panniers
damndamndamndamnChunky Cyclists need your love too! :-)
2009 Specialized Tricross Sport
2011 Trek Madone 4.5
2012 Felt F65X
Proud CX Pervert and quiet roadie. 12 mile commuter0 -
Well there you go then,you can hardly blame the poor girl.Smarter than the average bear.0
-
I hate everyone on this forum,
You all smell
and pick on me
and smellChunky Cyclists need your love too! :-)
2009 Specialized Tricross Sport
2011 Trek Madone 4.5
2012 Felt F65X
Proud CX Pervert and quiet roadie. 12 mile commuter0 -
Thank you - an excellent start to the afternoon. The image of the original post was fab, gave me a good chuckle.0
-
Sorry KB but I'm feeling sorry for the girl not you - she must have been terrified!
I've never had this on a bike but I have had times when I've been walking somewhere at night and it turns out that I'm going the same way as a woman who is someway ahead. Everytime she turns the same way that I am going to turn I feel a little bit more awkward.
Probably being oversensitive but given you tale perhaps not!0 -
being serious (!)
If I happen to see her again I'll have a friendly word and hopefully put her mind at ease. I think she'll be on her way to the loal equestrian centre so I may well do.
I had a chat with one of the guys in the office and we went through the same stages as this thread, and I did say that it is lack of social cohesion that causes the issues - people just don't relate to each other, and see 'strangers', and not just other people.Chunky Cyclists need your love too! :-)
2009 Specialized Tricross Sport
2011 Trek Madone 4.5
2012 Felt F65X
Proud CX Pervert and quiet roadie. 12 mile commuter0 -
jedster wrote:Sorry KB but I'm feeling sorry for the girl not you - she must have been terrified!
I'm guessing she's used to it by now - if she gets that scared that easily.I've never had this on a bike but I have had times when I've been walking somewhere at night and it turns out that I'm going the same way as a woman who is someway ahead. Everytime she turns the same way that I am going to turn I feel a little bit more awkward.
Well you should stop following vulnerable women around then :P0 -
mmm, try re-telling the story, but, from her point of view, lazily cycling along bridleway, noticed this guy cycling behind me...............fay ce que voudres0
-
Kieran_Burns wrote:If I happen to see her again I'll have a friendly word
Isn't that against the terms of the restraining order?0 -
biondino wrote:Kieran_Burns wrote:If I happen to see her again I'll have a friendly word
Isn't that against the terms of the restraining order?
only if they catch me.... rabbits and squirrels, rabbits and squirrels.... and ratsChunky Cyclists need your love too! :-)
2009 Specialized Tricross Sport
2011 Trek Madone 4.5
2012 Felt F65X
Proud CX Pervert and quiet roadie. 12 mile commuter0 -
I once got stopped and questioned by police for walking 5 yards behind a woman at night. I'd walked across a 10-yard-wide stretch of grass + trees - the normal way back from the station - and the police car sitting about 20 yards away had basically seen what looked like her emerging from a wooded area with me about to pounce!
I never did get to attack anyone that night.0 -
biondino wrote:I once got stopped and questioned by police for walking 5 yards behind a woman at night. I'd walked across a 10-yard-wide stretch of grass + trees - the normal way back from the station - and the police car sitting about 20 yards away had basically seen what looked like her emerging from a wooded area with me about to pounce!
I never did get to attack anyone that night.
back away slowly, maintain eye contact and make no sudden moves.....Chunky Cyclists need your love too! :-)
2009 Specialized Tricross Sport
2011 Trek Madone 4.5
2012 Felt F65X
Proud CX Pervert and quiet roadie. 12 mile commuter0