The Office 'Christmas Do' Thread

CHRISNOIR

So, how will your Office party be this Christmas?

Past cringes from my past include -

An incredibly unsubtle come-on from my boss
Overdoing the ‘Boonen-Dust’ and talking utter sh*te all night (not big, not clever etc)
Passing out in Crown Square, waking up covered in my own sick

This year it’s a lunch-time civilized meal do that will have us back by six so I’m hopeful I’ll be able to stay out of trouble.

So, what are your expectations for the Office do? Arse photocopying? Fumbles in broom cupboards? Or just a general feeling of misery? Any past mishaps you'd like to share?

Stewie Griffin

Ours was yesterday. There was no chance of any Boonen dust so I didnt go .

UncleFred

Got mine on Saturday night! Which is wrong. Office parties should be mid week so we can all suffer together the next day.

Special K

UncleFred wrote:

Got mine on Saturday night! Which is wrong. Office parties should be mid week so we can all suffer together the next day.

You're right of course - hangovers from office parties should be endured on company time.

I went to ours the other day. All very swish and way too civilised: I didn't drink and left just as Bjorn Again kicked off and the dancefloor already full of short-skirted pretty young things was then accompanied by middle aged men who seemingly had each undergone a rythmectomy.

JonBurns

No office Christmas party for us this year unless we fund it ourselves

pneumatic

1988 - Sexually harassed by the office junior, who kept offering me a job (the music was loud and I couldn't make out what kind of job it was, but I think it rhymed with snow!)

1998 - Set fire to the table decorations in the local hotel and, because they were holding down helium balloons, sent up gently flaming comets that put the ceiling at risk, too. Threw my beer up after it which then came down on the Salaries Manager. The worst thing about that year was that it wasn't even my department's night out, I got kidnapped in the pub by a gang with a spare ticket.

2008 - Self employed, so will sit at my desk on my own with a bottle of whisky. No party hat, no dancing, no naked flames (and no naked office juniors, either)

Nuggs

I once handcuffed a partner to the bar using a pair of furry love cuffs, purchased as a Secret Santa present. He failed to see the funny side.

That paled into insignificance when one of my mates got into a fight with the head of department which spilled out onto the street. I thought that sort of thing only happed on the telly...

We had our 2008 Christmas bash yesterday. Absolutely fantistic - hired out a curry house along Brick Lane. Much lower-key than previous parties and all the better for it!

FAT_ROB

Well Were off to the Bavarian Beer keller on the 19th, SHould be messy, mind you with my 'team' being made up of 27 blokes aged 23 - 35 and a lesbian, I guess the chances are I will be going home alone!

spen666

Baaah Humbug


Didn't go to ours


Spend enough time with my bosses without going in my own time & at my expense to a restaurant they chose and eating sh*t food

FCE2007

spen666 wrote:

Baaah Humbug


Didn't go to ours


Spend enough time with my bosses without going in my own time & at my expense to a restaurant they chose and eating sh*t food

+1

suze

Christmas office party... in the last twenty years I've been to exactly ........none


I work with a bunch of miserable academic "......." at a north west university

pneumatic

suze wrote:

Christmas office party... in the last twenty years I've been to exactly ........none


I work with a bunch of miserable academic "......." at a north west university

You have my sympathy. I've been to a few miserable academic attempts at having fun. Cripplingly awful.

And Spen, you surprise me! I had you down as a party animal!

Tranced

All parties cancelled, (albeit with deposits written off) travel & training expenses stopped, canteen reduced, staff head count reduced, hiring freeze, no bonuses of any sort or increases of any sort for any of the almost 400 000 staff for 2008/ & 2009.
Oh, other than the directors.....

And that's the multinational IT industry. I do worry about what 2009 holds.

boybiker

Tranced wrote:

All parties cancelled, (albeit with deposits written off) travel & training expenses stopped, canteen reduced, staff head count reduced, hiring freeze, no bonuses of any sort or increases of any sort for any of the almost 400 000 staff for 2008/ & 2009.
Oh, other than the directors.....

And that's the multinational IT industry. I do worry about what 2009 holds.

is this the same IT industry that made HUGE amounts of money ripping people off over the 'Millennium Bug'?

spen666

Tranced wrote:

All parties cancelled, (albeit with deposits written off) travel & training expenses stopped, canteen reduced, staff head count reduced, hiring freeze, no bonuses of any sort or increases of any sort for any of the almost 400 000 staff for 2008/ & 2009.
Oh, other than the directors.....

And that's the multinational IT industry. I do worry about what 2009 holds.

This gives me visions of beheadings in the office?

Do you work for a Saudi Company perhaps?

cougie

I dont think I would work here if I didnt like my colleagues. Life is too short to be miserable for 40 hours plus per week.

redddraggon

suze wrote:

I work with a bunch of miserable academic "......." at a north west university

Which one is that then?

Tranced

is this the same IT industry that made HUGE amounts of money ripping people off over the 'Millennium Bug'?

That's the one... you know it then? Very similar to the banking industry, the motor industry, the ENTERTAINMENT (Ross&Brand) industry, the pharma industry, oh & don'y forget the jewelry (diamond) industry.

The same ones that pays new directors more than $20mil just as a sign up fee.


BTW... diamonds have no real value.... it's all in the clever marketing & hoarding of millions of diamonds by the Ruskies & de Beers. Ruby's & emeralds etc. have real scarcity value.


At least I can't be fired. Slaves have to be sold.

redddraggon

Tranced wrote:

BTW... diamonds have no real value.... it's all in the clever marketing. Ruby's & emeralds etc. have real scarcity value.

Ruby is just Cromium doped alumina. Diamonds are far more valuable than ruby, because they are optically clear, won't deform plastically underpressure, and have a really high strength.

Tranced

optically clear, won't deform plastically underpressure, and have a really high strength.

Industrial value.... hence now being made industrially.

Jewelry value is marketing hype. "Diamonds are a girls best friend" Very clever....

Sirius631

Good thing we're a happy bunch on my office as we are going clay pigeon shooting for our Xmas outing. Nobody felt like stuffing ourselves and getting fall-over drunk.

The main plant Xmas do has been cancelled, but it always turns into a violent puke fest by all acounts anyway, so I never go to that one.

CHRISNOIR

Sirius631 wrote:

Good thing we're a happy bunch on my office as we are going clay pigeon shooting for our Xmas outing...

Wow, a Christmas Do involving firearms. Might suggest this next year...

pneumatic

I have to say that it amazes me that, when times are hard, organisations decide to do away with the very things that might sustain people through the crisis and beyond it:

What will senior management cut?

1. Social activity, where teams have the chance to bond and disclose a bit more of their humanity, creativity and imagination.

2. Development activity, where teams and individuals might learn some useful stuff about their capability, skill, motivation and resilience.

3. Public expressions of gratitude, group identity and reciprocal loyalty.

4. Philanthropic gestures to the environment that sustains the organisation in the first place.

Hardly the blitz spirit is it? What got the City through that experience? Sing-songs, get-togethers, make do and mend, kindness to neighbours, offers of support to victims.

Sorry, I've suddenly come over all moral and indignant - this should be in Soapbox.

pdstsp

I'm off to ours in 36 minutes - we are taking our staff for a meal and drinkies - and then hopefully leaving the young things to their dancing and stuff. I am hoping not to embarrass myself as they have only just finished talking of my dance of passion with the only gay in the village 2 years ago. Luckily I have no memory of this occurrence.

Will update if I make a t#t of myself.

morite

where in Liverpool you going, I might pop in and take some photographic evidence

iainf72

We're not having one this year. Thankfully as I don't need to explain why I'm not going. I don't mind the people I work with but just have no interest in socialising with them outside of work. We've got loads of vendors offering to take us out but that tends to happen every Xmas.

I have been to a few do's in the past and among the highlights were

- A chap I know from a moves and changes team being accosted by a woman from the front office who told him she'd "like to take him back to her hotel room as she fancied a bit of rough" He declined (bit of a legend anyway, at the age of 35 he had a 19 year old girlfriend)
- The time a chap got caught in the bogs with another chap. One was obviously gay the other...well, no one knew before then
- Various booze fueled fights

In the late 90's while contracting, my agency took a few of us out. Quite late we ended up in a pub in Covent Garden which had a bunch of students in it. One of the gobby blokes with us offered a fairly good looking student £200 to "get 'em out" - She said she didn't think we had the money at which point the agent took a roll of 20's out of his pocket. The girls boyfriend was urging her to do it but she bottled it.

fossyant

No doo here - nothing's been organised, so just a few of us are popping out for a meal at lunch on the Friday before Christmas........ bit bah humbug.......eh....

Wife went on her's last night - free bar - I dropped off and picked up - got the kids out of bed to collect her !!! :shock:

pdstsp

Morite - Rigby's, Flanagans and some Spanish place - and I kept relatively ok I think! Anyway I don't feel too bad today and seem to remember getting home so happy days.

suze

I used to work in a restaurant/bar, the chefs would never NEVER suggest going out for meals before Christmas, because basically you get "C**P".... And it was true some of the stuff we served to pi**ed up punters well, my cats eat better. Great for tips though.

The management always took us somwhere later in the new year. Once had an all expences freeby to Alton Towers followed by a trip to a top restaurant....

My day job now well..... miserable gits

squired

For the second year running we've had no Christmas party at my company. Instead we had the Christmas redundancy lottery this year to make up for it...

My brother had one though. He was jumped by the CEO's secretary, who is apparently married with kids (he'd never even spoken to her before). He was also verbally abusing the CEO about how badly organised the company is. Apparently the fund managers gave him a round of applause the next day after his antics with the secretary!

SCR Pedro

In the unemployment sector, christmas parties are usually a donut from the bakery and a cup of coffee whilst filling out endless job application forms.

My memories of Christmas parties are pretty gruesome though. Then I stopped drinking and realised how awful office parties really are. I haven't been to one since.

cheers
Pedro