Funny Commuting sitings/stories
Comments
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woodyonthebeach wrote:slip of the finger. these IT types
Future's flood control going tits up, if you want my professional judgement :evil:0 -
Always Tyred wrote:lost_in_thought wrote:
Wather wuffly.
- Stwike him Centuwion...stwike him woughwy
- Beg pardon Sir?
- I said Stwike him
- Eeerr 'bout half past three sir!Roadie FCN: 3
Fixed FCN: 60 -
Littigator wrote:Always Tyred wrote:lost_in_thought wrote:
Wather wuffly.
- Stwike him Centuwion...stwike him woughwy
- Beg pardon Sir?
- I said Stwike him
- Eeerr 'bout half past three sir!
you been on the crack pipeThe doctor said I needed to start drinking more whiskey. Also, I’m calling myself ‘the doctor’ now0 -
Welease Wodewick!0
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Littigator wrote:Always Tyred wrote:lost_in_thought wrote:
Wather wuffly.
- Stwike him Centuwion...stwike him woughwy
- Beg pardon Sir?
- I said Stwike him
- Eeerr 'bout half past three sir!
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One Sunday morning I was on my commute home from the night shift. Sunday morning is usually a fast commute and this was no exception - I was really giving it some welly. Suddenly, as I came off a roundabout, there was a line of people who started to applaud and a couple of people took my picture. Shortly afterwards there was anther group of people applauding on the pavement and then a third. It seems that some sort of race or event had been set up on my commute route & it appeared as though I was winning a race (eat your heart out Lance!).
As I approached the last roundabout on the ride I noticed a guy in the middle of the roundabout frantically waving one hand and pointing to tell me to turn left. I shook my head pointed ahead and flashed past just catching a glimpse of his bemused expression. He shouted as I went past. I'm quite deaf but I think he said "Who are you?"
It would have been delightful to shoot the breeze with this marshal - but when you are racing the time on the cycle computer you don't stop for anything.
I have since wondered what would have happened if I had followed his directions. Could I have ended up crossing a finishing line and winning a race | had never entered? Did the winner appreciate that, like Armstrong on Mont Ventoux in the 2000 TdF (when he gifted the stage to Marco Pantani), I too had gifted this local cycle event to him (or her)? Like Lance, this was purely me being magnanimous and had nothing to do with wanting to get home for breakfast & bed.0 -
iain_j wrote:Kenjaja1 wrote:Could I have ended up crossing a finishing line and winning a race | had never entered?
LOL! I would have given it a go, just to say at the end (after taking all the glory) by the way, i wasn't in the race, and just see their faces.
As I said, I was being magnanimous and the prospect of breakfast & kip less than 1/2 mile away played no part in my decision0 -
I have just remembered another “sighting” of the kind I would prefer to forget.
I was cycling into work one night when I noticed that a beat up old van was hanging back when it could have easily gone past me. This is unusual and I thought the driver was being over cautious or over courteous – both better than what I often face.
Eventually it passed me and pulled into a pub car park and I cycled past. Shortly afterwards the van was behind me again and hanging back. Eventually it turned right and I carried on. A mile or so later it appeared again and stayed behind me for quite a while before eventually passing. Half a mile after that I saw the van had parked off the road and the driver was just sitting there. I thought he might be ill and so, being a first aider, I pulled up and asked him if he was OK. He said he was fine and asked how I was. I said I was fine and explained that I had become concerned that he might be ill. He said his car was giving problems and as I am not a mechanic. I told him I could not help and carried on.
Shortly afterwards he passed me again and then stopped at a junction, wound the window down and asked for directions. I explained the quickest route (by motorway) but said that, since his van was a problem he would be better off going back the way he came and I gave him an alternative set of directions.
Then came the bombshell and the “sighting”. “Actually,” he said, “There’s nothing wrong with the van”
“Oh” I said feeling rather puzzled.
“No” he explained, “I’ve been watching your ass” I’m a bloke in my fifties and, with or without Lycra I have never had a comment like that before or since from anyone of either gender! :oops: :?
As he said it, though, I realised what he was doing. I can’t find a suitable emoticom so let’s just say he was amusing himself by abusing himself with his tackle out and, now, clearly visible.
I put on a baritone voice and said, “You’ll have to excuse me but I’m late for work.”
I cycled off at a great rate of knots muttering a mantra to whichever God it is who is responsible for the wellbeing of cyclists…..”Please God – Please don’t let him follow me ….Please don’t let him follow me….”0 -
Kenjaja1 wrote:I have just remembered another “sighting” of the kind I would prefer to forget.
I was cycling into work one night when I noticed that a beat up old van was hanging back when it could have easily gone past me. This is unusual and I thought the driver was being over cautious or over courteous – both better than what I often face.
Eventually it passed me and pulled into a pub car park and I cycled past. Shortly afterwards the van was behind me again and hanging back. Eventually it turned right and I carried on. A mile or so later it appeared again and stayed behind me for quite a while before eventually passing. Half a mile after that I saw the van had parked off the road and the driver was just sitting there. I thought he might be ill and so, being a first aider, I pulled up and asked him if he was OK. He said he was fine and asked how I was. I said I was fine and explained that I had become concerned that he might be ill. He said his car was giving problems and as I am not a mechanic. I told him I could not help and carried on.
Shortly afterwards he passed me again and then stopped at a junction, wound the window down and asked for directions. I explained the quickest route (by motorway) but said that, since his van was a problem he would be better off going back the way he came and I gave him an alternative set of directions.
Then came the bombshell and the “sighting”. “Actually,” he said, “There’s nothing wrong with the van”
“Oh” I said feeling rather puzzled.
“No” he explained, “I’ve been watching your ass” I’m a bloke in my fifties and, with or without Lycra I have never had a comment like that before or since from anyone of either gender! :oops: :?
As he said it, though, I realised what he was doing. I can’t find a suitable emoticom so let’s just say he was amusing himself by abusing himself with his tackle out and, now, clearly visible.
I put on a baritone voice and said, “You’ll have to excuse me but I’m late for work.”
I cycled off at a great rate of knots muttering a mantra to whichever God it is who is responsible for the wellbeing of cyclists…..”Please God – Please don’t let him follow me ….Please don’t let him follow me….”
?????????????????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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I've had a few of those...
And had one last night - a beat up white van, with three guys in it. Pulled up right behind me, I was over to the left, and stayed behind me despite my waving it past.
Ah well, I thought, maybe they're turning left and being really polite. One left turn went by, then a few more, and still behind me, so I pulled over. They went past me with lots of 'hello darlin' and more risqué remarks. I waited then set off on my way again.
Got to some lights, off in another world and didn't notice the van in the right-hand lane. Pulled off, cars overtaking graciously, then the roar of a poorly-maintained diesel, followed by the shouting of the men in the van. FFS. I decided to ignore them, and they pulled alongside me and continued, at which point I went onto the pavement, turned off down a side road and decided I wasn't using the main road any more that evening.
I'm sure they meant me no harm, but still.... :evil:
In more light-hearted sightings, I passed a guy this morning who was pulling a trailer the size of one I would have fitted to a car. Amazing. Fair play to him. And it was full of plastic crates. :shock:0 -
lost_in_thought wrote:....... I went onto the pavement, turned off down a side road ...
See, now we know the real reason motorists get upset when cyclists go onto the pavement!!0 -
iain_j wrote:Kenjaja1 wrote:Could I have ended up crossing a finishing line and winning a race | had never entered?
LOL! I would have given it a go, just to say at the end (after taking all the glory) by the way, i wasn't in the race, and just see their faces.
Knowing my luck I would have just joined it at the 10 mile mark with 140 to go!Short hairy legged roadie FCN 4 or 5 in my baggies.
Felt F55 - 2007
Specialized Singlecross - 2008
Marin Rift Zone - 1998
Peugeot Tourmalet - 1983 - taken more hits than Mohammed Ali0 -
lost_in_thought wrote:I've had a few of those...
.........:
1) You are a guuurl. It might not be nice but we know this happens to the fairer sex. When it happens to a geriatric fart like me, I reckon the whole world has gone mad.
2) Your Van Admirers were learing: Mine was, in the purest sense, a w@nker!
3) There is no eqaulity in sexual harassment. If WVM lears at you then I want busty tarts trying to get inside my lycra ....S'only fair innit?
:?0
