Funny Commuting sitings/stories

woodyonthebeach

Guys/Ladies

Lets liven things up. Who out there has any funny sittings stories from their daily commute?

Dont be shy even if they involve you ;-)

spen666

woodyonthebeach wrote:

Guys/Ladies

Lets liven things up. Who out there has any funny sittings stories from their daily commute?

Dont be shy even if they involve you ;-)

I sit on my saddle when I commute- if that a funny enough sitting story?

DonDaddyD

what is a funny sitting story?

biondino

I like watching chavs on full sussers bouncing up and down with every pedal stroke. That's sort of sitting-related.

lost_in_thought

biondino wrote:

I like watching chavs on full sussers bouncing up and down with every pedal stroke. That's sort of sitting-related.

Ahhhhh I saw one of those gently undulating along on the Uxbridge road the other day! Hilarious!

I'm sure the OP means sighting...

My post is relevant either way.

Where's the 'halo' emoticon when you need it?

spasypaddy

i shan't take the piss out of the OP.

a few weeks ago i saw a penny farthing riding along between angel and stoke newington. Person was in full lycra riding a penny farthing

redvee

lost_in_thought wrote:

Where's the 'halo' emoticon when you need it?

ansbaradigeidfran

When driving to pick Mrs Brân up, I 've often seen a lady biking away from the nearby Tesco, with cheap Tesco lights (just like mine) and a shopping bag hanging from each end of the handlebars. Seeing her always brings a smile to my face.

prj45

The guy with the fan mouted on his handlebars, pointing the wrong way.

Guy on a unicycle around hyde park corner.

On the back of a white van, "scrawled" in the dirt, a perfect 19th century style portrait of a woman.

A girl with a "stop pollution" sign on the front of her handlebar basket, smoking a fag.

People doing all manner of strange things in hyde park (dragging tyres behind them, alpine walking, running backward and forward boxing trees, sh*gging)

A jogging rhino whilst crossing hyde park corner.

Rode past a bike shop the other day and a guy was pumping up his tyres, too much, massive bang, bike fell over, so did he, about five cyclists riding by just erupted into laughter.

Oh, georgeous girl on a sit up and beg bike, stunning well dressed classy girl, guy cuts her up I smile at her, she looks at me and says "wot a wAAA**car!", to hear such filth come out of something so perfect made my heart burst.

iain_j

Spotted over the last few years:

Bike with rear light turned on, but facing straight down to the ground - it appeared to have been fitted that way, not just slipped down.

Bike with rear mudguard clipped onto seatpost, but pointing about 45 degrees away from the wheel. Seen several times over a few months, still the same way.

Several bikes locked to bollards only a few feet high (David Cameron-style), despite there being a new set of bike racks nearby which are within a gated public bike-parking area in a carpark with lots of CCTV.

My mates' bike, locked securely to railings, with his keys (including bike lock key) on the ground next to it while he was off somewhere I picked his keys up for him and went and found him.

TRADESIZE

my 5 month old son loves helium ballons, and we had tons in work to celebrate some work crap, so i rode home on friday 10 miles with 3 helium ballons tied to my handlebars. The look on peeps faces they were laughing at me. Someone even took my pic!
I dont care i think its was funny, cheered up all the dreary drivers on the way home, and my son was happy. might bring some more home this week

Rich158

Quite a few over the years, unfortunately most on the MTB though

The best are a long haired hairy arsed downhiller racing in a pink tutu, body armour and full face hemlet. We had to stop him racing in a Borat style thong in the interests of decency :shock: , or the mountain biking gorila. I know some very odd people

On the road there's a guy rides past my house every day, has done for years, heals on the pedals in riggger boots, saddle at it's lowest point, tyres half flat, doing about 2mph, and he must be over 20 stone, I swear his belly rests on the top tube. He makes me laugh every time I see him, but he's a commited cyclist, he's been cycling arround my area for at least 15 years.[/img]

ansbaradigeidfran

TRADESIZE wrote:

my 5 month old son loves helium ballons, and we had tons in work to celebrate some work crap, so i rode home on friday 10 miles with 3 helium ballons tied to my handlebars. The look on peeps faces they were laughing at me. Someone even took my pic!
I dont care i think its was funny, cheered up all the dreary drivers on the way home, and my son was happy. might bring some more home this week

Love it!

Rich158

TRADESIZE wrote:

my 5 month old son loves helium ballons, and we had tons in work to celebrate some work crap, so i rode home on friday 10 miles with 3 helium ballons tied to my handlebars. The look on peeps faces they were laughing at me. Someone even took my pic!
I dont care i think its was funny, cheered up all the dreary drivers on the way home, and my son was happy. might bring some more home this week

That's gotta help on the hills I might give it a go myself - minimal wind resistance and extra lift - you can't lose

singlespeedexplosif

ansbaradigeidfran wrote:

When driving to pick Mrs Brân up, I 've often seen a lady biking away from the nearby Tesco, with cheap Tesco lights (just like mine) and a shopping bag hanging from each end of the handlebars. Seeing her always brings a smile to my face.

I saw something similar a few weeks ago. They turned a corner, one of the bags swung into the front wheel, they landed face-first on the tarmac. Brought a smile to my face.

iain_j

singlespeedexplosif wrote:

I saw something similar a few weeks ago. They turned a corner, one of the bags swung into the front wheel, they landed face-first on the tarmac. Brought a smile to my face.

That happened to me years ago and i broke my wrist. In the carrier bag that caused the accident was a new bike helmet

Mikelyons

I used to commute to City of London by train & Brompton.

There were several Brompton riders who used the same station (Surbiton) as me, but two in particular always used to make me smile as they were such extreme examples of commuting style.

Commuter # 1 was in full lycra most times I saw him , also had a top-of-range Brompton
& a decent looking helmet.

Commuter # 2 - wore long tweed overcoat & deerstalker hat. Used a Sainsburys bag stuck to his carrier with a bungy strap.

Needless to say Mr Tweed (#2) was faster on his bike than Mr Lycra (#1) whenever I saw the two together.

Mike

spen666

Mikelyons wrote:

I used to commute to City of London by train ....

The trains round here are not so envoronmentally friendly and are powered by electricity

always_tyred

I was once thoroughly cut up by a bloke on a bike in Oxford veering hurriedly left into a side road, who promptly grounded his inside pedal and threw himself to the floor (centurion).

I took great pleasure in watching someone wearing suede brogues and a college scarf lose their dignity in this way.

lost_in_thought

Always Tyred wrote:

and threw himself to the floor (centurion).

Rather roughly?

always_tyred

Not strictly commuting, but I once, whilst magestically ascending a hill out of the saddle, fell off because I hadn't tightened the quick release on the back wheel, which was spat right out of the drop outs and ended up next to me on the road - an unambiguous indication of my own stupidity. :oops:

always_tyred

lost_in_thought wrote:

Always Tyred wrote:

and threw himself to the floor (centurion).

Rather roughly?

Wather wuffly.

Jay dubbleU

'The guy with the fan mouted on his handlebars, pointing the wrong way'

That wasn't a fan it was a propeller

chuckcork

Not commuting, but bringing some 3 metre lengths of cable trunking home from the local builders suppliers a mile away, ran then through some slots on my rear rack, then popped them over the handlebars, so they were sticking out in front / rear by around 2 feet each, but could easily throw my legs over the lot to ride home, did slightly affect the steering on corners though...

Another time picked up a bookshelf (it was in a box) from John Lewis in Kingston on my bike, about 3' wide and 4' high x 4' deep. Got it home by rotating the pedal flat, placing box on the pedal and tipped back to hook under the bars, then walked it to the train and via that to home. Stairs at the station were bit of bugger though with the combined weight...

Gavin Gilbert

I’ve told the story here before, but it was a while ago and it bears repeating

Several years ago I worked for a small insurance company in the City, and one of our employees (named Lesley, as I’m in no mood to protect the guilty) was a bit of a fruitcake, to put it mildly.

One morning I arrived at the office and was chaining the bike up in the basement when I noticed the Brooks saddle was a wobbling a little. A couple of slight twists and it had broken free of the seatpost with a fractured rail. I held it in my hand and felt a rising tide of sickness when I thought that 5 minutes before I was doing 25mph down Lower Thames Street.

Now at my desk I threw the knackered Brooks into my bin with a mixture of relief and horror. Then Lesley walked into the office, spotted the saddle in the bin and said

“Is that leather? I love the smell of leather”.

Before I could offer a reply, Lesley retrieved the Brooks from the bin and gave it a long, lingering sniff.

It was one of those rare moments when I found myself totally lost of words. All I could do was to look in disbelief at Lesley, and then at my 2 colleagues, who in turn were looking equally slack-jawed at me. I managed to splutter

“Did you……did you….did…..Oh My God”

At this point Lesley obviously clocked what she had just done.

“Yuck, your bums been on that….I could smell it” she said, throwing the saddle back into the bin.

Lesley scuttled off towards the kitchen, leaving 3 IT Department members dissolving into spasms of uncontrollable convulsive laughter…

Gavin Gilbert

I’ve told the story here before, but it was a while ago and it bears repeating

Several years ago I worked for a small insurance company in the City, and one of our employees (named Lesley, as I’m in no mood to protect the guilty) was a bit of a fruitcake, to put it mildly.

One morning I arrived at the office and was chaining the bike up in the basement when I noticed the Brooks saddle was a wobbling a little. A couple of slight twists and it had broken free of the seatpost with a fractured rail. I held it in my hand and felt a rising tide of sickness when I thought that 5 minutes before I was doing 25mph down Lower Thames Street.

Now at my desk I threw the knackered Brooks into my bin with a mixture of relief and horror. Then Lesley walked into the office, spotted the saddle in the bin and said

“Is that leather? I love the smell of leather”.

Before I could offer a reply, Lesley retrieved the Brooks from the bin and gave it a long, lingering sniff.

It was one of those rare moments when I found myself totally lost of words. All I could do was to look in disbelief at Lesley, and then at my 2 colleagues, who in turn were looking equally slack-jawed at me. I managed to splutter

“Did you……did you….did…..Oh My God”

At this point Lesley obviously clocked what she had just done.

“Yuck, your bums been on that….I could smell it” she said, throwing the saddle back into the bin.

Lesley scuttled off towards the kitchen, leaving 3 IT Department members dissolving into spasms of uncontrollable convulsive laughter…

Gavin Gilbert

I’ve told the story here before, but it was a while ago and it bears repeating

Several years ago I worked for a small insurance company in the City, and one of our employees (named Lesley, as I’m in no mood to protect the guilty) was a bit of a fruitcake, to put it mildly.

One morning I arrived at the office and was chaining the bike up in the basement when I noticed the Brooks saddle was a wobbling a little. A couple of slight twists and it had broken free of the seatpost with a fractured rail. I held it in my hand and felt a rising tide of sickness when I thought that 5 minutes before I was doing 25mph down Lower Thames Street.

Now at my desk I threw the knackered Brooks into my bin with a mixture of relief and horror. Then Lesley walked into the office, spotted the saddle in the bin and said

“Is that leather? I love the smell of leather”.

Before I could offer a reply, Lesley retrieved the Brooks from the bin and gave it a long, lingering sniff.

It was one of those rare moments when I found myself totally lost of words. All I could do was to look in disbelief at Lesley, and then at my 2 colleagues, who in turn were looking equally slack-jawed at me. I managed to splutter

“Did you……did you….did…..Oh My God”

At this point Lesley obviously clocked what she had just done.

“Yuck, your bums been on that….I could smell it” she said, throwing the saddle back into the bin.

Lesley scuttled off towards the kitchen, leaving 3 IT Department members dissolving into spasms of uncontrollable convulsive laughter…

ansbaradigeidfran

Gavin Gilbert, it may bear repeating, but a triple-post? :P

woodyonthebeach

slip of the finger. these IT types

il_principe

Gavin Gilbert wrote:

“Yuck, your bums been on that….I could smell it” she said

woodyonthebeach wrote:

slip of the finger. these IT types

jedster

don't know if this counts as funny, may be just bonkers but today I was riding down Park Lane from Marble Arch. A bloke in a suit on a battered hybrid had just run a couple of reds in a slightly precarious fashion. I caught him up just before the lights changed at Grafton Street (? where the bike crossing from Hyde Park heads into Mayfair. I braked and he actually tried to. There was a grinding noise as the brakes didn't do much and he slid into the junction try desperately to shed speed using his shoe leather.

Perhaps I'm just too risk averse but cycling down Park Lane with no brakes?